Soda Jerk Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 The wedding I went to, I had to fly and megabus down there, and stay in a hotel. My presence was my present. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Easy Wishes Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 A few things:1- A hipflask is an excellent way of topping up without being obvious. Hotels will almost expect it, too, so you shouldn't get in too much bother if you're 'caught'.2- If you're staying in the hotel that evening, stashing a few tinnies upstairs in the room is another useful way of saving a bit of cash, especially if you buy one pint at the bar and keep topping up the same glass. Cold water in the bath = cold cans = happy drinker.3- Amount spent on the present depends entirely on who it is IMO. I was at a wedding a couple of weekends ago and spent £100 (from me and the missus) on a gift - but it was my brother. Recently spent £50 from the two of us on a mate's wedding, too, as a frame of reference.4- I very much play by the 'neck one, savour my second' school of glasses of champagne when they're handed round. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keeno Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 If you're at the meal, load up on table-wine/sparkling and then avoid drinking too much afterwards.I think £50 for a present/vouchers is more than enough unless it's a best friend/family member.Well it is her best friend and I guess she doesn't want to look like a cheapskate but they don't see each other much since she moved away. I personally though something like £50 in vouchers would be enough as a few suggested. It is down in Kirkcaldy too so we are paying a fair whack travelling and staying in a hotel and my gf gas to pay for hen do which is in Edinburgh so I think that is over £100 before all the cost of whatever they drink on the night as well as the cost of the trains. On the booze front I bet you get people sneaking booze in hip flasks and such like. I have a friend who went to a fancy ball thing where they searched bags for people smuggling stuff in so they emptied and cleaned a bottle of perfume and took vodka in that way. Sneaky. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 On the booze front I bet you get people sneaking booze in hip flasks and such like. I have a friend who went to a fancy ball thing where they searched bags for people smuggling stuff in so they emptied and cleaned a bottle of perfume and took vodka in that way. Sneaky.Haha, excellent idea. Would look funny as fuck scooshing "perfume" into your mouth / glass, too.xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 On the booze front I bet you get people sneaking booze in hip flasks and such like.Never been to a wedding yet where the room wasn't full of hip flasks getting passed round. It's expected in these parts and I don't think hotels mind as generally everyone is still buying loads of drinks. Even seen people getting their hip flasks refilled at the hotel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatboy Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 nowadays most people who get married have cohabited for a while and have no need to get the usual presents.people should be just pleased that you turned up to their wedding and took time out your life.My present to the last couples wedding I was at was providing the live music with the rest of cobra kai.the bar charged me £2.75 for a 330ml glass bottle of coke Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diesel Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 On the wedding theme...What about wedding invites that include the dread "Wedding List"?How fucking presumptuous!"We would be delighted if you could come to the celebration of our love for each other ... and here's a list of expensive stuff we'd like. Just give up half a day of your life by going into John Lewis, where you'll discover that the only thing on the list that you could possibly afford has already been bought by one of our close relatives. That expensive crystal thing will still be available though. Look forward to seeing you at the evening dance (coz you're not getting to the meal)"Cunts. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Milner Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 I dont buy wedding gifts, if im paying a shit load of money on a new suit, or hire of a suit or kilt then thats enough as far as im concerned, especially when you take the cost of the whole evening into play. Adam has it spot on, take a hip flask or a bottle if you have a girl with a bag to stash it in, tank back the free booze when its on offer and then pace yourself from there on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Android Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 I'll be at a wedding on Saturday and definitely taking a hip flask with me. This thread has just reminded me I haven't bought a present yet either. It's my sister's wedding so I suppose I probably should. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 On the wedding theme...What about wedding invites that include the dread "Wedding List"?How fucking presumptuous!"We would be delighted if you could come to the celebration of our love for each other ... and here's a list of expensive stuff we'd like. Just give up half a day of your life by going into John Lewis, where you'll discover that the only thing on the list that you could possibly afford has already been bought by one of our close relatives. That expensive crystal thing will still be available though. Look forward to seeing you at the evening dance (coz you're not getting to the meal)"Cunts.To be fair a lot of the time a list is only included because the bulk of guests expect it and it's easier to include than to get a load of toasters and plates you don't need.Going through this just now for our wedding and we absolutely hated the idea of doing a list. Pressure from relatives made us relent in the end.Some of my friends have asked for charity donations which was a good idea. I'd have done that if I had a particular charity I supported. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 A few things:1- A hipflask is an excellent way of topping up without being obvious. Hotels will almost expect it, too, so you shouldn't get in too much bother if you're 'caught'.2- If you're staying in the hotel that evening, stashing a few tinnies upstairs in the room is another useful way of saving a bit of cash, especially if you buy one pint at the bar and keep topping up the same glass. Cold water in the bath = cold cans = happy drinker.3- Amount spent on the present depends entirely on who it is IMO. I was at a wedding a couple of weekends ago and spent £100 (from me and the missus) on a gift - but it was my brother. Recently spent £50 from the two of us on a mate's wedding, too, as a frame of reference.4- I very much play by the 'neck one, savour my second' school of glasses of champagne when they're handed round.I hid a bottle of Jack in the bushes outside the Marcliffe at a wedding a couple of years ago. My mate had another one hidden in the boot of his car. We spent the whole night in the car park and missed pretty much the entire wedding reception. I was best man as well. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoonie Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 I dont buy wedding gifts, if im paying a shit load of money on a new suit.Do you leave the suit with the groom when you go home, you fucking tightwad? ;-)You want to know how the fucking pros do wedding booze? Carbar. Get a car, stash it with hunners booze from Costco/Wine Warehouse/wherever else and park it in the parking area of the hotel/venue either earlier in the day of the event or the night before. Do it somewhere out of the way so it's not in view of the front of the venue. Then, when the party's kicking off, suddenly to room feels overly warm, so you need to go outside for some 'fresh air'. The rest of the plan doesn't need any explanation. Just go fucking mental and get wrecked.I've also been to weddings from guys in our American Football team, where there were so many bottles of Buckfast stashed in the bushes that you were struggling to find a place to put yours. Venues think that it's ok to boost up bar prices for weddings. I think it's ok to down a bottle of tang behind a bush in their garden. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Milner Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 Yes i leave every wedding i go to stark naked, obviously Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FOX Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 PET HATE: APPLICATION FORMS. Such a pet hate I write it in all caps.Most folk know I'm just a young loon and so looking for part-time work. Every single application form I've seen has literally been me writing/typing out my ENTIRE CV AGAIN to them as though they can't fucking read. I can understand the "what makes you a great customer person"-type questions, but not "what was your last job" because that's ON MY CV you dicks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 PET HATE: APPLICATION FORMS. Such a pet hate I write it in all caps. And hopefully in black ball point pen. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 Wedding list/money requests - hate it. As has been noted the tradition springs from when couples were moving from their parents homes into their marital homes and needed help getting off their feet. That is rarely the case anymore.I appreciate that weddings are expensive for the couple and money donations will help but they don't have to be expensive if you can't fucking afford it. I'd be happier if you had to buy a ticket. Do you want to go to Billy and Mary's wedding? Hmm, how much is a ticket? £50 each. Aye, go on then.The fact that the guy who posted originally about this is a student and is worried about the cost just makes it all the more ridiculous. I assume the couple getting married aren't students.The money request thing of late is just cheeky as fuck. I don't care if it comes by way of a cute little rhyme on the invitation either. That makes it worse - you're asking me for money - just come out and say it! To top off the hatred I especially hate the thankyou card that comes after the wedding when you've bought something off their list.Dear Shaki and bird Thanks so much for the (fucking stupid vase or something that we definitely didn't need). It looks really great in the hallway and really brightens up the room. We had a great time, blah ,blah....FUCK YOU. YOU MADE ME BUY IT. It's not FROM me. I wouldn't spend £50 on a (stupid vase or whatever) and neither would you. That's why you forced me into it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moose Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 A few things:1- A hipflask is an excellent way of topping up without being obvious. Hotels will almost expect it, too, so you shouldn't get in too much bother if you're 'caught'.2- If you're staying in the hotel that evening, stashing a few tinnies upstairs in the room is another useful way of saving a bit of cash, especially if you buy one pint at the bar and keep topping up the same glass. Cold water in the bath = cold cans = happy drinker.3- Amount spent on the present depends entirely on who it is IMO. I was at a wedding a couple of weekends ago and spent £100 (from me and the missus) on a gift - but it was my brother. Recently spent £50 from the two of us on a mate's wedding, too, as a frame of reference.4- I very much play by the 'neck one, savour my second' school of glasses of champagne when they're handed round. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 Adam, that is some seriously good wedding advice. Hats off.Hmm...'Hats off' could also be taken as wedding advice. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 blaaaaaaah.I'm very against wedding lists as well. It's just fucking cheeky. What's especially galling is when they do a wedding list from John Lewis where the cheapest thing on it is like a salt shaker that costs 45 quid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 Wedding lists have a purpose, so to stop people buying the same gift, but it's crazy that some of it is mega expensive, and everyone swipes the cheapo gifts first. I think asking for cash is well cheeky too. It's a wedding. Not a birthday card for a teenage nephew you've not seen in years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattJimF Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 Wedding lists have a purpose, so to stop people buying the same gift, but it's crazy that some of it is mega expensive, and everyone swipes the cheapo gifts first. I think asking for cash is well cheeky too. It's a wedding. Not a birthday card for a teenage nephew you've not seen in years.Me and my wife went round Debenhams doing a wedding list, adding everything we actually needed. Some things were put on like a Dyson just to see if anyone would use it. We never actually used the list, just the discount card we got for listing with them and all the freebies (such as two bottles of wine, by going to two different stores and registering interest). Most people gave us cash or vouchers, some gave presents but we never really asked for anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 My bastard kitchen is crawling with fruit flies, went in today and there was like 30 of them flying around, so I went on the hunt for the source and found an old empty can of peas that was chucked in the recycling without being rinsed. Fucking thing was alive with the little cunts. Chucked that out obviously, but still have the flies.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted September 11, 2012 Report Share Posted September 11, 2012 Yeah, the flies will gradually leave, but it won't be instant. I had a similar problem last year. A half open pouch of catfood somehow got slid under the microwave unknowingly. Probably because the cats could smell it so went and attacked it, and probably got pushed out of their reach. Sometime later, I lifted up the microwave and found a ton of maggots brawling over rancid catfood. Fucking foul. I totally blitzed the kitchen then. Emptied all the cupboards and everything. Cleaned everywhere. Took a few days to get rid of all the flies. Make sure you don't have any maggots anywhere, otherwise they'll keep breeding and you'll constantly have flies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted September 11, 2012 Report Share Posted September 11, 2012 Having my sandwiches pinched out of the fridge at work. Raging.I think this is the worst September 11th there has ever been. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted September 11, 2012 Report Share Posted September 11, 2012 I don't understand how people can possible do that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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