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Guest idol_wild

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My fucking 8 track isn't fucking working! Here's me trying to lay down some tasty jams in what will otherwise be a waste of a day but my fostex decides it's not having it. I actually think it may be my condenser mic to some extent but I digress. This is what I get for leaving it in a garage for 6 months.

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There's an advert that's on the telly all the time at the moment that really gets on my tits for some reason. I think it's for PC World. Basically, there's this straggly-haired fuckstick nattering on about how much loves movies. It's just his head morphing into different people on a black backdrop, but Christ it's annoying.

The first thing is his voice. Holy shit, what a smug cunt. To be honest, I don't think there's anything particularly extraordinary about it, but he sounds so pleased with himself that I just wanna pick up the television and throw at the cat across the street. The way he says movies is the worst, and he has to say it about 500 times during the ad. Movies, movies, movies, movies,... shut the fuck up! Say that one more time and I'm gonna do an Evander Holyfield on your ear. He's got such an incredibly punchable face too. Looks like the kind of fucker that lives in a solar-powered, organic greenhouse and only wears sandals, chinos, and big smelly cardigans.

Then his face disappears, and you think; phew, he's gone! Thank fuck. But no! HIS BLOODY VOICE IS STILL THERE, speaking through other people's mouths, which is infinitely more annoying for some reason. I'm storming the beaches of Normandy, no you're not you fucking prick. Shutupshutupshutup!

And then Christian Slater shows up for no apparent reason whatsoever. I don't have a problem with him, but what the fuck's the point in popping him in there just to say my world is entertainment and do a weird head-spinny thing? Fucking nonsense. You might as well have got Bill Gates to turn up and say I fucking love computers or get that beardy bloke from the Sooty Show to do hand-puppet backflips. Absolutely pointless.

Sometimes I think I need anger management classes.

I actually pointed at my screen and shouted "YES!" when I read this. Boy's a twunt.

Aherm.

I'm not sorry, either.

But you're nae a twunt. You are a champion.

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The walls between the flats in my building are paper thin. In my bedroom, if the people in the next flat are in their bedroom just talking in normal voices, you can make out pretty much every word.

There used to be this big fat bird that lived there (I think she worked in Charlies) and every Friday or Saturday night I would hear her coming home with some random at 3.30am and having sloppy drunken sex. At times like that I was glad I had earplugs.

She's since moved out and two student guys have moved in, one of which is forever banging his lass at all hours of the morning when I'm trying to sleep. I hear the moans, I hear the headboard banging. It's not nice.

I did try to make fun use of the thin walls last night - I could hear the guy in the bedroom next door strumming an acoustic guitar, so I grabbed my banjo and started playing "Duelling Banjos" to see if we could get an impromptu redneck jam going through the wall, but he didn't join in.

Haha, good post.

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The walls between the flats in my building are paper thin. In my bedroom, if the people in the next flat are in their bedroom just talking in normal voices, you can make out pretty much every word.

There used to be this big fat bird that lived there (I think she worked in Charlies) and every Friday or Saturday night I would hear her coming home with some random at 3.30am and having sloppy drunken sex. At times like that I was glad I had earplugs.

She's since moved out and two student guys have moved in, one of which is forever banging his lass at all hours of the morning when I'm trying to sleep. I hear the moans, I hear the headboard banging. It's not nice.

I did try to make fun use of the thin walls last night - I could hear the guy in the bedroom next door strumming an acoustic guitar, so I grabbed my banjo and started playing "Duelling Banjos" to see if we could get an impromptu redneck jam going through the wall, but he didn't join in.

He may well be banging his student guy flatmate. Just saying...

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Music being ruined by touts. It just drives me fucking crazy. Gigs these days sell out within about ten minutes, and within that ten minutes, hundreds of the tickets go on sale for double the price on eBay. How much of the tickets sold on the day do you think go touts? Fucking hundreds upon hundreds I'd bet. Like the Kiss concert that went on sale this morning. Already there are 22 pairs of tickets on eBay going for 80 per ticket (face value was 40). I bet there will be a hell of a lot more than that nearer the time of the gig as well.

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To be fair, I speak like a total ponce and have no discernable accent. So, I've no right to tell anyone how to do anything.

Wrong fucking country, you're in the wrong fucking country, wrong fucking cuuuuuntry! Awa' hame an' shag yer boyfriend ye Sassanach POOF. Ye may tak oor land, but ye'll nivvir tak oor wiy o' spikkin funny!

I often used to get told to fuck off back to England when playing juvenile football against the likes of Banks o Dee and Kincorth (I'm from Banchory you see darling). Used to love responding with words that they didn't understand in my poshest voice....until I got nutted by one of them and decided to let the football do the talking (or not as was often the case)

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Wrong fucking country, you're in the wrong fucking country, wrong fucking cuuuuuntry! Awa' hame an' shag yer boyfriend ye Sassanach POOF. Ye may tak oor land, but ye'll nivvir tak oor wiy o' spikkin funny!

I often used to get told to fuck off back to England when playing juvenile football against the likes of Banks o Dee and Kincorth (I'm from Banchory you see darling). Used to love responding with words that they didn't understand in my poshest voice....until I got nutted by one of them and decided to let the football do the talking (or not as was often the case)

We should start a Union/political party to represent the well-spoken. And we should tax people who say 'like' too often.

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Guest idol_wild

So Football Manager has done it. It's generated a player with a double name - Ross Ross. He's a Scottish centre-half and he's fucking awesome. I really want to sign him for my title chasing Wycombe side, but Leeds won't sell me him.

Plus, I don't fucking want a player called Ross Ross in my side! :nono:

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So Football Manager has done it. It's generated a player with a double name - Ross Ross. He's a Scottish centre-half and he's fucking awesome. I really want to sign him for my title chasing Wycombe side, but Leeds won't sell me him.

Plus, I don't fucking want a player called Ross Ross in my side! :nono:

Give him a nickname.

I suggest Rossinho.

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