Soda Jerk Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 I can't hear you. I'm washing my fat guy hat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatboy Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 In fact, that offer is open to anyone, because I really don't want it any more.take it to next praccy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest idol_wild Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 Hearing the people upstairs shagging at 3am.Bunch of savages in this town. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waltz Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 Hearing the people upstairs shagging at 3am.Bunch of savages in this town.Please, you love it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 What? You can disable the voice????HOW?!!!That voice is handy for reminding you that you don't have your speakers on mute. Better hearig him at full volume than the latest top rated videos on Pornhub or Burning Camel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest idol_wild Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 Please, you love it.My watershed is 2:30am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 Hearing the people upstairs shagging at 3am.Bunch of savages in this town.Me and my now wife lived in this flat in Aberdeen for the best part of a year ages ago. The couple upstairs were at it all the time. We hilariously dubbed them the "shaggers" (or humpers, or something equally brilliantly funny, I forget which one it was).It was funny for a while. But after a couple of weeks it just got really annoying, and it stopped me getting action sometimes too. Just about to get down to it, and you hear them at it. Wouldn't really put me off, but on more than one occasion it put the bird right out of the mood. Really pissed me off!!!These guys weren't a particularly young couple either. I mean when we first got together when we were 18/19, we were at it about 4 times a day, but this couple must have been in their 30s - I'm not even there yet, but I'm lucky if I get it 4 times a year these days... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Easy Wishes Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 Me and my now wife lived in this flat in Aberdeen for the best part of a year ages ago. The couple upstairs were at it all the time. We hilariously dubbed them the "shaggers" (or humpers, or something equally brilliantly funny, I forget which one it was).It was funny for a while. But after a couple of weeks it just got really annoying, and it stopped me getting action sometimes too. Just about to get down to it, and you hear them at it. Wouldn't really put me off, but on more than one occasion it put the bird right out of the mood. Really pissed me off!!!These guys weren't a particularly young couple either. I mean when we first got together when we were 18/19, we were at it about 4 times a day, but this couple must have been in their 30s - I'm not even there yet, but I'm lucky if I get it 4 times a year these days...I hear you, bro.[EDIT= To clarify - I don't mean I hear you shagging.] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 Hearing the people upstairs shagging at 3am.Bunch of savages in this town.3 am shagging?! I mind the days. We had to move bedrooms recently because the guy upstairs and the girl downstairs were shagging (separately) and the baby next door's wails sounded like they were coming straight from Hell. The guy upstairs goes fast and long and we think the girl downstairs is a faker. The baby is just shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 I hear you, bro.[EDIT= To clarify - I don't mean I hear you shagging.]Aye - you'd have to time your visits really well to hear that... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 Aye - you'd have to time your visits really well to hear that...Yeah, visits to Amsterdam. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Women's handbags.Fairly regularly, I get the dreaded question from the wife...No, not "Where the hell have you been all night?" or "Who was that girl you were talking to?" or "Does my bum look big in this?"No, I'm talking about something far more sinister..."Can you pass me my lip balm / keys / hair bauble / etc from my handbag please?"Handbags are like rapists. Look perfectly normal and innocent on the outside, but on the inside? Evil as fuck.So, after working out where her fucking handbag is first of all, I open the fucker up, and although it looks reasonably sized from the outside, it's like looking into the Grand Canyon when you open it up. But, it's far far worse than looking into the Grand Canyon. It's like the Grand Canyon full of worthless, stupid stuff that only a girl would carry with her, and with about twenty million other little Grand Canyon compartments hidden away in far away corners, that you could only possibly know about if you were a girl.Seriously, you'd have about as much chance if you stepped off a plane in Brazil, and she said "Oh, that guy Dave we met a few years ago lives in South America, let's try and find him..."What's wrong with fucking pockets??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Easy Wishes Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Are we the same person? Christ, there's nothing that frightens me more than a request to dig about in her handbag.I have learned just to pass the bag to her, accept a " *sigh* I told you just to go into it" and explain that she is able to locate said item in seconds, where it takes me half an hour.Actually, we can't be the same person because you like that Vesuvius band or whatever they're called. And I don't because they are shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Hearing the people upstairs shagging at 3am.Bunch of savages in this town.Do you live on Lillybank Place? I can't remember 3AM. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murrr Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 There's an advert that's on the telly all the time at the moment that really gets on my tits for some reason. I think it's for PC World. Basically, there's this straggly-haired fuckstick nattering on about how much loves movies. It's just his head morphing into different people on a black backdrop, but Christ it's annoying.The first thing is his voice. Holy shit, what a smug cunt. To be honest, I don't think there's anything particularly extraordinary about it, but he sounds so pleased with himself that I just wanna pick up the television and throw at the cat across the street. The way he says movies is the worst, and he has to say it about 500 times during the ad. Movies, movies, movies, movies,... shut the fuck up! Say that one more time and I'm gonna do an Evander Holyfield on your ear. He's got such an incredibly punchable face too. Looks like the kind of fucker that lives in a solar-powered, organic greenhouse and only wears sandals, chinos, and big smelly cardigans.Then his face disappears, and you think; phew, he's gone! Thank fuck. But no! HIS BLOODY VOICE IS STILL THERE, speaking through other people's mouths, which is infinitely more annoying for some reason. I'm storming the beaches of Normandy, no you're not you fucking prick. Shutupshutupshutup! And then Christian Slater shows up for no apparent reason whatsoever. I don't have a problem with him, but what the fuck's the point in popping him in there just to say my world is entertainment and do a weird head-spinny thing? Fucking nonsense. You might as well have got Bill Gates to turn up and say I fucking love computers or get that beardy bloke from the Sooty Show to do hand-puppet backflips. Absolutely pointless.Sometimes I think I need anger management classes. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Hearing the people upstairs shagging at 3am.Bunch of savages in this town.The walls between the flats in my building are paper thin. In my bedroom, if the people in the next flat are in their bedroom just talking in normal voices, you can make out pretty much every word. There used to be this big fat bird that lived there (I think she worked in Charlies) and every Friday or Saturday night I would hear her coming home with some random at 3.30am and having sloppy drunken sex. At times like that I was glad I had earplugs.She's since moved out and two student guys have moved in, one of which is forever banging his lass at all hours of the morning when I'm trying to sleep. I hear the moans, I hear the headboard banging. It's not nice.I did try to make fun use of the thin walls last night - I could hear the guy in the bedroom next door strumming an acoustic guitar, so I grabbed my banjo and started playing "Duelling Banjos" to see if we could get an impromptu redneck jam going through the wall, but he didn't join in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoid Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 I did try to make fun use of the thin walls last night - I could hear the guy in the bedroom next door strumming an acoustic guitar, so I grabbed my banjo and started playing "Duelling Banjos" to see if we could get an impromptu redneck jam going through the wall, but he didn't join in.Boo, that would've been awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Lucky, I want to shag your neighbour's missus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest idol_wild Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 So, after working out where her fucking clunge is first of all, I open the fucker up, and although it looks reasonably sized from the outside, it's like looking into the Grand Canyon when you open it up. But, it's far far worse than looking into the Grand Canyon. It's like the Grand Canyon full of worthless, stupid stuff that only a girl would carry with her, and with about twenty million other little Grand Canyon compartments hidden away in far away corners, that you could only possibly know about if you were a girl.Aherm.I'm not sorry, either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Lucky, I want to shag your neighbour's missus.I coud probably fix that up. The walls are so thin you could probably just burst through the wall from my bedroom if you ran at the wall fast enough. That would fucking surprise her. You'd have to pay for the damage to the wall though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoid Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Aherm.I'm not sorry, either.Genius! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Easy Wishes Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 I coud probably fix that up. The walls are so thin you could probably just burst through the wall from my bedroom if you ran at the wall fast enough. That would fucking surprise her. You'd have to pay for the damage to the wall though."How thick is wall?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest idol_wild Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 I coud probably fix that up. The walls are so thin you could probably just burst through the wall from my bedroom if you ran at the wall fast enough. That would fucking surprise her. You'd have to pay for the damage to the wall though.Fucking yas min - that sounds like Angus Young in the video for AC/DC's That's The Way I Want My Rock 'n' Roll, where he jumps out of the poster on the schoolgirl's wall.I'm highly confident that Calum would dance like the girl does in the video too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJ Jo-D Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 I did try to make fun use of the thin walls last night - I could hear the guy in the bedroom next door strumming an acoustic guitar, so I grabbed my banjo and started playing "Duelling Banjos" to see if we could get an impromptu redneck jam going through the wall, but he didn't join in.My neighbour plays his guitar every night all night, might be ok if he was any good, mainly just strumming chords When people jump down the stairs first thing in the morning I find it quite annoying, two at a time then a crashed bang wallop on to the floor.....have some respect!Pet hate - missing mail! who, why wtf....my brithday cards and cheque I was meant to have spent by now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Aherm.I'm not sorry, either.Fix of the millenium. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.