2013/2014 Season

[Murrr]

I'm pretty sure I've just witnessed Willo Flood score the single greatest goal a human being has ever scored in a game of football.

 

Shite game though.

[Paranoid Android]

Only got to see the second half but you're right it was shite, until it became amazing.

[Scootray]

It was some hit.  Even Willo looked surprised.

 

[Flights]

I kind of missed the Walcott gesturing thing.  It always throws up the argument of the responsibility that highly paid professional footballers should have.

 

I agree with that to a fairly large extent in that such public figures should be setting a good example to those that idolise them - particularly thousands of kids.

 

But it always bothers me far more that Theo Walcott can't jokingly make a 2-0 gesture to opposing fans without inciting a riot.  Football fans are fucking ridiculous.  The vast majority are grown men who should be more than capable of going no further than laughing it off and calling Theo a "cheeky cunt" or something similar.  But instead, there will be absolute rage from the stands with people shouting (probably) racist abuse and how they hope he dies of cancer and all that lovely stuff that football fans seem to think is fine to shout when they are within the confines of a football stadium.

 

It reminds me of that video doing the rounds of the Rangers fans after Artur Boruc crossing himself at Ibrox.  Now, I know as well as anyone that Boruc loved it and made a big thing about making sure he did it right in their faces but the blindness by the Rangers fans who were posting that video to show the "terrible crime" that Boruc was committing was remarkable.  All he did was cross himself.  And hundreds, if not thousands of Rangers fans basically wanted to kill him or at least stamp on him repeatedly.  Fuds.  The lot of them.

 

Football would be a much better sport if Walcott was able to have a laugh and wind up the fans light-heartedly with that 2-0 gesture without inciting a riot.  But in the real world, he gets all the pelters whilst the fans throwing coins (for fuck sake) at him and showering the stewards in the process barely get a mention.

 

 

Agree with this 100%.

The fact people throwing coins and objects at someone with the intention of harming them is overlooked, simply because that person reminded them of the score. Aye it was a bit cheeky but the reaction it evoked is just mental.

Edited January 11, 2014 by Flights

[Eupraxia]

It was some hit.  Even Willo looked surprised.

 

 

He's doing an impression of your avatar.

[Lemonade]

Sheff Wed 6 - 0 Leeds U. They'll be dancing on the streets of Wednesday tonight.

[Murrr]

 

Good grief.

Edited January 11, 2014 by Murrr

[Soda Jerk]

[Chris]

[Soda Jerk]

Who on earth is that man, with the WHITEST HANDS?

[Chris]

Who on earth is that man, with the WHITEST HANDS?

 

Physio with latex gloves?

[Soda Jerk]

Way to ruin that. I just thought he had serious honkey hands.

[HeinzHines]

It's Rob Swire, man united legend. Not to be confused with some other cunt called Rob Swire who plays for some cunts called pendulum.

[Murrr]

I think Jonas Gutierrez is leaving Newcastle. I'd rather one of you guys hacked off my arm. Fuck football.

[Scootray]

He's doing an impression of your avatar.

I'd say he's done a bloody good job.

[TR!ΔNGL€ T€€TH]

I think Jonas Gutierrez is leaving Newcastle. I'd rather one of you guys hacked off my arm. Fuck football.

Aye, but you guys still have Gabriel Obertan.

[Murrr]

Aye, but you guys still have Gabriel Obertan.

 

We have had an astonishing array of pretty awful footballers who, in spite of their flaws, have become big favourites of mine.

 

James Perch, in his first season at Newcastle, looked like one of the biggest bombscares I'd seen at NUFC since the days of Titus Bramble and Andy O'Brien. Reached 5 yellow cards in his first 5 games, which is pretty impressive. In his second season he became a bit of a cult favourite, playing in three different positions and giving you a solid 6.5/10 every week, throwing himself around the pitch like a man who had no real idea what he was doing, a calamity waiting to happen. But it never did. I was gutted when we punted him.

 

Shola Ameobi has one of the worst goalscoring records for a Premier League striker and is one of the most maligned players in the league. Despite this, he is an amazing penalty taker and has a stupidly good record against Sunderland. Occasionally (very occasionally) he does some genuinely brilliant (http://youtu.be/HXjtgHTPNPQ?t=9m17s). Sometimes he is unintentionally brilliant, like jumping for a header, somehow connecting with the ball with the back of his neck, and spinning around 360 degs for no apparent reason, before threading a perfect through ball. Most of the time he is pretty awful, but two or three times a season he comes off the bench and plays like bloody Drogba.

 

Mike Williamson was one of my least favourite players until this season. Solid in the Championship, he always looked a liability at this level. Now, I really love him. He acts like an inverted football magnet -- as soon as that thing comes within a six-yard radius of Iron Mike... BOOF, it's gone. His newfound awkward stepover habit is hilarious, as is the sheer panic in his body language every time the ball arrives at his feet under pressure. Last time I was at St. James' Park there was a moment were Willo collected the ball from Krul with no striker on him and about five short passing options. After about 10 seconds of bumbling around, he dealt with the situation in the only he knows how (a thunderous hoof), and a very audible, angry "MICHAELLLLLLLL!" rang out from the Newcastle technical area. 

 

Jonas falls into this category. He never, EVER looked like he was in complete control of the football, yet somehow managed to bumble his way past opposition players time and time again. His crossing was utter bollocks, and he didn't score enough goals, but when he did, it was a screamer. Always gave 100% and a bloody nice bloke. Whipped out a Spiderman mask whenever he scored. Loves the Toon. Played with the enthusiasm of an over-excited Labrador. 

 

I always seem to care more for our shite, cult players than I do guys like Remy and Cabaye. Gabriel Obertan is the exception to this rule. One of the worst attackers I have ever seen in a black and white shirt -- and trust me, I've seen some shite (hello, Paul Dalglish, Paul Robinson, Daniel Cordone...). No redeeming qualities whatsoever, apart from his weird head. How this bloke every got a contract with Manchester United is beyond me. Genuinely think he could play at SPL level and still look utter ding.

 

tl;dr.

[Lemonade]

I read it.

[Soda Jerk]

Ha. Obertan. Pretty sure Fergie lost a bet and had to sign him. Laurent Blanc allegedly pleaded with Fergie, telling him NOT to sign Obertan. I think when Fergie is told not to do something, his inner-teenager tells him to rebel against authority. That's right Fergie. You sign that fucking club-footed Martian. No idea how then another Premier League manager could then look at Obertan and think "Yeah, I'll sign him. He could offer something to my team".

 

Worst thing is, Newcastle didn't even buy him at a cut price, after witnessing his two godawful seasons at United, scoring 1 goal in 20 games or something. They paid what United paid for him. Three millions pounds. Yuck.

[Soda Jerk]

Stoke/Liverpool game was bonkers, and great. Arnautovic is a weird player. He has moments where he looks a cut above, then minutes later he does something that makes him look like his feet are made of lead. Regardless, he's too good for Stoke.

 

I don't think it was a penalty for Liverpool, and there was a handball in the build up. I thought Stoke should have had a penalty too when Suarez blocked the ball with his body, but he'd covered his body with his arms. Does handball get any more intentional, without actually catching the ball?

 

Stoke deserved to get canned. Their defending was hilarious. Felt bad for Butland after he made that save against Sturridge but he managed to poke in the rebound. Glad Sturridge is back, and hopefully he'll go to the World Cup, but he needs to stop with that fuckawful celebration. He looks like a fanny.

 

It's not even new, he's been doing it since he was at Chelsea

 

 

Dick.

[ca_gere]

Such class from Pardew calling pelegrino an old cunt. Whats wrong with these grown men?

[Gypsum_Fantastic]

We have had an astonishing array of pretty awful footballers who, in spite of their flaws, have become big favourites of mine.

 

James Perch, in his first season at Newcastle, looked like one of the biggest bombscares I'd seen at NUFC since the days of Titus Bramble and Andy O'Brien. Reached 5 yellow cards in his first 5 games, which is pretty impressive. In his second season he became a bit of a cult favourite, playing in three different positions and giving you a solid 6.5/10 every week, throwing himself around the pitch like a man who had no real idea what he was doing, a calamity waiting to happen. But it never did. I was gutted when we punted him.

 

Shola Ameobi has one of the worst goalscoring records for a Premier League striker and is one of the most maligned players in the league. Despite this, he is an amazing penalty taker and has a stupidly good record against Sunderland. Occasionally (very occasionally) he does some genuinely brilliant (http://youtu.be/HXjtgHTPNPQ?t=9m17s). Sometimes he is unintentionally brilliant, like jumping for a header, somehow connecting with the ball with the back of his neck, and spinning around 360 degs for no apparent reason, before threading a perfect through ball. Most of the time he is pretty awful, but two or three times a season he comes off the bench and plays like bloody Drogba.

 

Mike Williamson was one of my least favourite players until this season. Solid in the Championship, he always looked a liability at this level. Now, I really love him. He acts like an inverted football magnet -- as soon as that thing comes within a six-yard radius of Iron Mike... BOOF, it's gone. His newfound awkward stepover habit is hilarious, as is the sheer panic in his body language every time the ball arrives at his feet under pressure. Last time I was at St. James' Park there was a moment were Willo collected the ball from Krul with no striker on him and about five short passing options. After about 10 seconds of bumbling around, he dealt with the situation in the only he knows how (a thunderous hoof), and a very audible, angry "MICHAELLLLLLLL!" rang out from the Newcastle technical area. 

 

Jonas falls into this category. He never, EVER looked like he was in complete control of the football, yet somehow managed to bumble his way past opposition players time and time again. His crossing was utter bollocks, and he didn't score enough goals, but when he did, it was a screamer. Always gave 100% and a bloody nice bloke. Whipped out a Spiderman mask whenever he scored. Loves the Toon. Played with the enthusiasm of an over-excited Labrador. 

 

I always seem to care more for our shite, cult players than I do guys like Remy and Cabaye. Gabriel Obertan is the exception to this rule. One of the worst attackers I have ever seen in a black and white shirt -- and trust me, I've seen some shite (hello, Paul Dalglish, Paul Robinson, Daniel Cordone...). No redeeming qualities whatsoever, apart from his weird head. How this bloke every got a contract with Manchester United is beyond me. Genuinely think he could play at SPL level and still look utter ding.

 

tl;dr.

Steady, I was gutted we got rid of O'Brien, certainly better than Titus.

[Soda Jerk]

Such class from Pardew calling pelegrino an old cunt. Whats wrong with these grown men?

 

Old man calling a slightly older man an old cunt. Only in football.

[TR!ΔNGL€ T€€TH]

http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=256451166&authType=NAME_SEARCH&authToken=oM35&locale=en_US&srchid=1996795271389613511081&srchindex=1&srchtotal=11&trk=vsrp_people_res_name&trkInfo=VSRPsearchId%3A1996795271389613511081%2CVSRPtargetId%3A256451166%2CVSRPcmpt%3Aprimary

 

I guess football's loss is winching's gain.

[Moose]

OMG!  Probably a fairly good move for his family, I suppose.  I assume his new job doesn't come with a requirement to read much.  Or think, for that matter: Daz Mack doesn't strike me as an intellectual, shall we say? 

 

ACE winches sounds like a company you'd see advertised in a pop up on a seedy porno website, trying to sell you prozzies in and around the Dumbarton area.