KittyCat Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Yeah, you can still fail for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 The only thing that really gets me shouting at strangers is drivers with blinkers on. The ones who are either determined never to assist anyone in any way*, or are just too spatially inept to even notice** that if they just slowed down, flashed the lights, and let someone out it would help everyone without slowing them down one bit.The number of times I see a car waiting to turn right, holding up traffic one way, and car after car after car coming the other way just ploughs on, ignoring them. All it takes is for one to momentarily slow down and wave them across and the whole queue can move on. The kindly driver can then simply speed up a bit and be back where he was. Everyone happy.* - men** - womenActually I also really struggle to remain calm with Ford Ka drivers in general. Every fucking one of them. I'm pretty sure they're 90% hairdressers. 100% incompetent.Don't be dissing Ka drivers, you fcuking cnut. There's much worse on the roads, namely taxi drivers, and wrinkly rich oil execs in Jags and BMWs who think the rules don't apply to them.I lost my rag yesterday (very uncharacteristically I might add) at a guy in a Range Rover. I was sitting at a roundabout where it was clearly marked that the left lane was for going left or ahead, and the right lane was for turning right. There was a big queue in the left lane, which I was sitting in waiting to go straight ahead. When I finally got to the front and was pulling out onto the roundabout a guy in a Range Rover came up the right lane (past about 10 cars which were waiting to go straight ahead) and pulled into the roundabout, then floored it to get past me on the roundabout, and cut from the right lane into the exit straight ahead, just about taking the front of my fucking car. I was livid, not only because I'd had to slam on my brakes but because he'd jumped the queue that everybody else had been waiting in. Instinctively I banged my horn, flashed my lights and gave him the finger while yelling expletives. I followed for about a mile (only because we were going the same way) and he was driving like a fucking idiot, doing about 50mph in a resisential area, swinging out past parked cars without slowing down or even hesitating, not indicating at all, and just generally doing all the things that really bad drivers do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonz Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Instinctively I banged my horn, flashed my lights and gave him the finger while yelling expletives.That's quite a manouvere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 I hate it when I'm riding my bike down the bus lane, which I'm permitted to do, according to the signs on King Street, and some cheater decides he doesn't want to wait in the traffic, so he thinks cutting down the bus lane will get him there quicker, but he gets stuck behind me, and drives about 3 feet away from my back wheel the whole way.OBEY THE RULES! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfer_Rosa Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Cyclists who ignore red lights, go past all the stopped traffic and plow through the pedestrian crossing almost running me over as I'm crossing it. I'm considering carrying an umbrella with me all the time now, so I can jam it in the spokes of the next fucker who does that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frosty Jack Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Don't be dissing Ka drivers, you fcuking cnut.Ha, I wondered how long it would take you. But, having never seen you fcuking drive, my fcuking opinion fcuking stands. I have never once seen a Ka being driven properly.Are you a hairdresser, by the way? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 That's quite a manouvere. Indeed. Flipping someone off properly is part of the test now. If you don't get it right, you fail.Incidentally, the correct way is:Steer with your left hand, while hitting the horn with your right. You should then yell the expletive of your choice, but it has to begin with "YOU FUCKING...." . Then, put your right hand up to the windscreen and extend your middle digit.Next, swap hands so your right hand is on the wheel, and use your left to flash the lights, in case he didn't hear the horn. Then, use your left hand to make the international sign for "wanker" (so you can do it abroad as well) while shouting another insult of your choice.Finally, place both hands on the wheel and drive as normal. In the event that the car in front of you stops and the driver gets out, then drive away via the quickest exit route possible. If you get stopped at a right light next to the offender, do not make eye contact. Just keep looking forward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Ha, I wondered how long it would take you. But, having never seen you fcuking drive, my fcuking opinion fcuking stands. I have never once seen a Ka being driven properly.Are you a hairdresser, by the way?No. Although my girlfriend used to be, but she can't drive and she hates my car, preferring instead the rusty, ten year old Ford Fiesta with the leaky radiator that I traded in for my brand new Ka with 8 miles on the clock. She still laments the day I traded in that rustbucket. Wimmen eh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Let's examine the evidence:Exhibit A: ManbagExhibit B: Britney Spears albumsExhibit C: A fucking Ford Ka??Jesus man, this Cobra Kai rock band shit is just a front isn't it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Let's examine the evidence:Exhibit A: ManbagExhibit B: Britney Spears albumsExhibit C: A fucking Ford Ka??Jesus man, this Cobra Kai rock band shit is just a front isn't it?And yet he's so popular on this site that he's got two brown stars under his name in an arrangement that is surely going to trouble Walt Disney's lawyers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 And yet he's so popular on this site that he's got two brown stars under his name in an arrangement that is surely going to trouble Walt Disney's lawyers.So gay he has two chocolate starfishes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Aw two brown stars is the next stage? I thought it'd be silver, like some kind of Reputation Olympics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jon Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 You'll take (it in) your two brown stars and like it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Aw two brown stars is the next stage? I thought it'd be silver, like some kind of Reputation Olympics.All that witty comments for nothing eh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoid Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Ah if you really want to get annoyed at that, try driving on the dual carriageway to Westhills People calling Westhill "Westhills". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Aw two brown stars is the next stage? I thought it'd be silver, like some kind of Reputation Olympics.I'm a little disappointed myself. A silver star would have been cool as fuck, AND given me the opportunity to lord it up like a right self-important ninny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 "You must spread..."Fantastic sir. I wish my hair was still red. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoid Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Surely it looks more like the view he has when looking down in the shower. I'd Photoshop that, but I don't want to have to go to therapy... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 God bless rusty badges and Photoshop! Nice one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gus Chamber Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Incense sticks. Just because.They're not making you look cool or bohemian, they're making you look like a pretentious twat and your house stink like shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waltz Posted December 11, 2009 Report Share Posted December 11, 2009 Rusty badge ahoy!I thought of an awesome pet hate earlier but i can't remember it now. Goddamn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted December 12, 2009 Report Share Posted December 12, 2009 People who order a taxi then complain it's not there within 2 minutes!I feel like screaming at them. They just ordered a taxi to come to a hotel in Dyce and take them home....it's a Friday night, where do they think all the taxis are? Hmm let me think? ?(Yeah that's right! In the town centre, miles away....quite a bit longer than a 2 minute drive.Sit down, be patient and never bother me again!!! I'm really not the best person to be working in hospitality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waltz Posted December 12, 2009 Report Share Posted December 12, 2009 Rusty badge ahoy!I thought of an awesome pet hate earlier but i can't remember it now. Goddamn.Remembered it: everything, fucking everything. Everything is irritating somehow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted December 12, 2009 Report Share Posted December 12, 2009 Dickheads at gigs. I mean, I guess you expect them at the AECC, but I had hoped Steve Earle would attract a more discriminating crowd.Only one right enough, but one too fucking many.Oh well, seems we had it comparatively easy.Legendary country singer tells rowdy Inverness group to shut up - Press & JournalAlso, fog is my new pet hate. This would have been ann amazing gig, feel sad for our friends in Shetland:Steve Earle concert cancelled after fog hits flights | ShetlandTimes.co.uk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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