Last film you watched?

[Norseman]

Tried to go to the cinema last night to see Salt as my missus and I had just arrived back in town. Unfortunately cineworld wouldn't let us in as they said my wife couldn't get in with a "suitcase" as it was a security issue. Now I could understand if it was some monstreous big family sized case but it was one of those briefcase sized things with the pull out handle she uses for her laptop. The two girls in front of us were laden down with huge bags from Zara and Cult and the lady behind us in the queue had a handbag the size of a Transit yet they had no problem getting in. Anyone know what the actual policy is here because if it is "volume" then the people they were letting in surely were a much bigger security risk than my wifes wee laptop bag. I was majorly pissed about it and will now boycott said establishement as I think this is jobsworth nonesense taken to a silly degree.

[Lonz]

Tried to go to the cinema last night to see Salt as my missus and I had just arrived back in town. Unfortunately cineworld wouldn't let us in as they said my wife couldn't get in with a "suitcase" as it was a security issue. Now I could understand if it was some monstreous big family sized case but it was one of those briefcase sized things with the pull out handle she uses for her laptop. The two girls in front of us were laden down with huge bags from Zara and Cult and the lady behind us in the queue had a handbag the size of a Transit yet they had no problem getting in. Anyone know what the actual policy is here because if it is "volume" then the people they were letting in surely were a much bigger security risk than my wifes wee laptop bag. I was majorly pissed about it and will now boycott said establishement as I think this is jobsworth nonesense taken to a silly degree.

Even assuming there is some policy behind it I would have thought they would have kept it behind the desk or in a store room for you rather than turn you away. A few years back at Vue I was told I couldn't take my backpack in with me but they were more than happy to hold on to it for me, they gave me a ticket (same deal as handing your coat in at a club cloakroom) and after the movie I picked it up with no hassle or extra charge.

[davidm]

Watched This Is England two nights ago. Incredible. Stephen Graham is great. Has anyone seen TiE '86 on Channel 4?

Finally going to watch Memento tonight as well.

[Bigsby]

A Perfect Getaway A young couple go on Honeymoon to Hawaii. While there they discover that another young couple has been murdered and that the killers are still on the loose.

Fairly silly, but OK if you want to shut your brain off for a while.

Notes on a Scandal Polar opposite, quality British drama with Judi Dench and Cate Blanchett. Quite brilliant. Screenplay by Patrick Marber of Closer and Day Today/KMKYWAP fame.

You can watch it on iPlayer

BBC iPlayer - Notes on a Scandal

[Lemonade]

Tried to go to the cinema last night to see Salt as my missus and I had just arrived back in town. Unfortunately cineworld wouldn't let us in as they said my wife couldn't get in with a "suitcase" as it was a security issue. Now I could understand if it was some monstreous big family sized case but it was one of those briefcase sized things with the pull out handle she uses for her laptop. The two girls in front of us were laden down with huge bags from Zara and Cult and the lady behind us in the queue had a handbag the size of a Transit yet they had no problem getting in. Anyone know what the actual policy is here because if it is "volume" then the people they were letting in surely were a much bigger security risk than my wifes wee laptop bag. I was majorly pissed about it and will now boycott said establishement as I think this is jobsworth nonesense taken to a silly degree.

I was in Cineworld in Glasgow at the weekend and there were signs up saying "could customers please avoid taking bags into the cinema whenever possible", and signs everywhere saying random bag searches will be carried out, and anyone with recording equipment, including digital cameras and laptops would not be permitted into the cinema. I had a backpack with me with my laptop in it, but I bought my tickets from the machine and just walked into the cinema and no-one stopped me. I would have probably argued that my laptop has no means of recording and I didn't have a camera or webcam in my bag, but it probably wouldn't have made a difference as the signs were quite clear that laptops are a no-no.

[Bigsby]

All those adverts saying "report anyone you see videoing this film" are stupid, everybody knows the pirates come out ages before the films are even released in the UK.

[Lemonade]

The Runaways - Dakota Fanning and that bird off of Twilight star as Cherie Currie and Joan Jett of the Runaways, and this tells the story of them starting out up to their implosion two years later. It's the age old tale of sex, drugs and rock n roll corrupting the young impressionable starlets, but although this path is well-trodden, this film never feels trite, it's a fun and energetic movie that I really really enjoyed. The period look and feel of 1970s LA is done impeccably, and the music throughout the film is absolutely rocking. Both the lead actresses really shine, as does Michael Shannon as their sleazy manager. The only complaint I have about this film is that it feels quite rushed - the band seem to go from nobodys to superstars in about 10 minutes, and Dakota Fanning's character development is rushed also - she goes from goody-two-shoes mummy's girl to alcoholic minge-licking junkie fuck-up without much of a transition. Still I thought this was a great film, although it could have done with being 20 minutes longer.

*****

And a few bitesized DVD reviews:

Jurassic Park - still one of my favourite movies. Typical Spielberg magic.

*****

Pirates Of The Caribbean - not as good as I remember, but still a fun hour and a half.

***

Men In Black - also not as good as I remember, but a few laugh out loud moments

***

Blades Of Glory - laughed my ass off at this. Brilliant.

****

Role Models - Sean William Scott and Paul Rudd sparkle as a hard partying slacker and a cynical uptight curmudgeon forced by the courts to volunteer as carers for troubled kids. It gets a touch schmaltzy at times, but the sight of them playing live-action role play dressed as Kiss more than makes up for it. This film is exactly my sense of humour.

****

Old School - heard a lot about this film so was expecting greatness, but felt a little short changed.

***

[Norseman]

This is also the Union Square branch I was moaning about. But no offer to store anything though the geezer behind the desk did suggest paying for a locker at the train station (and hence making it more expensive).

The thing is, some handbags are immense in size with more storage than your average laptop case anyway. If they are going to be gits about bags then I would rather they then be consistant and have to deal with the fallout from all the ladies and their epic mobile black holes!

[Monster Zero]

Opera

I'm on a Dario Argento retread. When the leading lady in an operatic production of 'Macbeth' is injured in a car accident, her understudy takes her place and is menaced by a killer who ties her up and places rows of needles under her eyes to force her to watch them killing her aquaintances. This is one of Argento's more coherent films as usually plot takes second place to gruesome violence, of which there is a fair bit in this one but it makes a bit more sense than some of his efforts. As ever let down slightly by crap dubbing but looks good.

8/10

[Preid]

Got round to seeing The Expendables on Friday night.

Even as a big fan of all those 80's action-no brain films, I thought it was toilet.

Boo.

This.

I had a wonder down and watched the new rez film in 3d a few days ago. The plot has big jumps in it that are unexplained. The ending is pretty much the same as the other films. Alot of tight crotched costumes and cliche stupid support actors. Nothing new on the zombie front bar some punk with a oversized mallet. Theres no tits but an amount of slow-mo which Id describe as strangely satisfying.

I dont know if its just my eyes but for most of the film I was pulling the 3d glasses down to see wtf was going on. The only thing that stood out as 3d was the rain and title credits. There were alot of background 3d work but its nothing worth paying the extra to see.

Just wait till it comes to dvd and rent it, or something. Its shite.

[delboy]

Watched Monty Pyton's The Meaning Of Life on ITV4 last night, not their best work by a long shot but Mr Creasote still cracks me up big style! Uninteresting fact - first 18 (or X rated as they were known then) film I ever saw at the cinema although its been downgraded to a 15 now.

Ditto Notes On A Scandal - absolutely tremendous film from start to finish.

Watched some crap British film with Robert Carlyle film I Know You Know, not up to his usual standard, even the usually dependable Carlyle was rubbish in it.

[Shaki]

Thank You For Smoking - Quality satire about a lobbyist for the American tobacco industry. 8.7/10

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - Reasonably enjoyable but ulitmately forgettable crime caper. 6.4/10 (Perv tip: Additional .4 for Michelle Monaghan's tits)

Seraphim Falls - Well acted (Brosnan, Neeson), fairly boring western. 6/10

[Gypsum_Fantastic]

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - (Perv tip: Additional .4 for Michelle Monaghan's tits)

It's a quality film and a quality set of chebs, got to love those dodes

[Paranoid Android]

Just watched Whatever Works. Probably the funniest of modern era Woody Allen films I've seen. 8/10

[Lemonade]

Martyrs - A French horror movie about a girl who survives horrific child abuse and hunts down the abusers 15 years later.

This film plays out in the 3 very distinct parts. Part 1 is a bit like The Grudge, girl is haunted by horrible twisted apparation which is trying to kill her, and you're like "fuck, this is scary". Part 2 is like The Orphanage, when it appears that the apparition was trying to pass on some sort of message to her and you're like "oh OK, this isn't scary then". Then part 3 is like Hostel, and features some of the most brutal, graphic and harrowing scenes of torture ever committed to celluloid. And you're like "holy fuck dude".

It's not scary, just utterly brutal and if you don't feel a sense of anguish, you probably have no soul. Definitely not one for the faint-hearted. It's all pretty absorbing and exciting, though the plot that holds it all together (the MacGuffin if you will) is a bit ropey and the last 20 minutes are weak, where the special effects guys just take things a little too far. Sometimes it's best to leave a few things to the imagination.

****

[Alkaline]

Martyrs - A French horror movie about a girl who survives horrific child abuse and hunts down the abusers 15 years later.

This film plays out in the 3 very distinct parts. Part 1 is a bit like The Grudge, girl is haunted by horrible twisted apparation which is trying to kill her, and you're like "fuck, this is scary". Part 2 is like The Orphanage, when it appears that the apparition was trying to pass on some sort of message to her and you're like "oh OK, this isn't scary then". Then part 3 is like Hostel, and features some of the most brutal, graphic and harrowing scenes of torture ever committed to celluloid. And you're like "holy fuck dude".

It's not scary, just utterly brutal and if you don't feel a sense of anguish, you probably have no soul. Definitely not one for the faint-hearted. It's all pretty absorbing and exciting, though the plot that holds it all together (the MacGuffin if you will) is a bit ropey and the last 20 minutes are weak, where the special effects guys just take things a little too far. Sometimes it's best to leave a few things to the imagination.

****

The last 20 minutes are a revelation. The discovery in the end is awesome. Not weak unless you maybe didn't get it?

I thought it was fantastic and the leads were both pretty good actresses.

[Lemonade]

The last 20 minutes are a revelation. The discovery in the end is awesome. Not weak unless you maybe didn't get it?

I thought it was fantastic and the leads were both pretty good actresses.

I understood it fine, I just thought it was a little bit silly and far-fetched. And the last 20 minutes I didn't think they needed to make it as graphic as they did, because it looked a bit crap and that's why I think they should have just shown snatches of it and left the rest up to the viewers imagination. But hey, different strokes for different folks. Good film though, and agreed they were both very good actresses.

[Lemonade]

Fuck me, that film randomly appeared in the flat, as far as i know we're still not sure who left it there or what. But we watched it and i don't think i've ever cringed so much watching a film. It was good but i could never watch it again, would recommend it, agree with 4 stars.

I thought Hostel and Hostel 2 were more cringeworthy, but yeah it was pretty much up there in the top 3!

[Alkaline]

I understood it fine, I just thought it was a little bit silly and far-fetched. And the last 20 minutes I didn't think they needed to make it as graphic as they did, because it looked a bit crap and that's why I think they should have just shown snatches of it and left the rest up to the viewers imagination. But hey, different strokes for different folks. Good film though, and agreed they were both very good actresses.

Aye, i'm not talking about the gore though, i'm talking about the pretense and reality of the reveal. I understand what you're saying about the graphic aspect of it and i agree they maybe could've been a bit more subtle on that front but i think it may have lost some of the point of the plot i.e the achievment of martyrdom/faith etc without that aspect.

Aye, hourses for courses.

[Paulscoconutass]

I understood it fine, I just thought it was a little bit silly and far-fetched. And the last 20 minutes I didn't think they needed to make it as graphic as they did, because it looked a bit crap and that's why I think they should have just shown snatches of it and left the rest up to the viewers imagination. But hey, different strokes for different folks. Good film though, and agreed they were both very good actresses.

Works for every film in history!

Latest ones have been

Salt: Action's done pretty well, Jolie's still got it. Crap, twisty turny story though.

Piranha 3D: Fun film but not worth the tenner entrance fee. Kelly, in the buff, in 3D though. WOW!

Expendables: Really enjoyed it, action was great, so many deaths.

Girl with Dragon Tattoo: Awesome modern detective story, pretty brutal though

Girl who played with Fire: Not-so-awesome follow up, blander but still alright.

Obsessed: Idris Elba and Beyonce, tragic. Just tragic, but ace catfight at end.

Goodfellas: Hands down the best gangster film ever made.

Malna: love letter to Monica Bellucci - get uncensored version without 15 mins of clunge cut out.

War: Jet Li / jason Statham - surprisingly decent flick. Blu Ray sound was great.

Live!: Even Eva Mendes with no bra couldn't save that one.

Toy Story 3: Not as good as 1 & 2 but great film and the best trilogy in the history of cinema.

Doomsday: fun-filled bloodbath by Neil Marshal, don't take it seriously and you'll enjoy it.

Changeling: Jolie shouts "My son" for 2 hours, harrowing but not 'all that'.

Life of Brian: Can't say its as good as I remember, middle of the road with a few funny scenes.

The Matrix: One of the best films ever made. Still cool. Still gets better with every viewing.

Moon: Cracking Sci-fi. Rockwell's great. Ace concept. Going to watch again to see how tight story is.

Brick: Decent enough modern noir but pretty clichd.

South park: BLU one of the best musicals out there, great writing, still offensive/funny.

Spartacus Blood and Sand: fucking awesome swords and sandals epic story, like BBC's Rome but with sex, gratuitous tits and decapitations all over the shop.

More, full reviews here

Also, working my way through the Bond FIlms after getting the box set in HMV for 50, BOOST. Amazing how different the writing, action and iconic scenes differ between

[Lemonade]

Piranha 3D: Fun film but not worth the tenner entrance fee. Kelly, in the buff, in 3D though. WOW!

That's almost enough to make me go and see this!

Goodfellas: Hands down the best gangster film ever made.

Inclined to agree with that, though Casino runs a close second.

Toy Story 3: Not as good as 1 & 2 but great film and the best trilogy in the history of cinema.

That's a bold statement. Good films though

Changeling: Jolie shouts "My son" for 2 hours, harrowing but not 'all that'.

I enjoyed this very much. It's the first time I've ever been impressed by an Angelina Jolie performace.

The Matrix: One of the best films ever made. Still cool. Still gets better with every viewing.

Just a pity about the two shit sequels...

Moon: Cracking Sci-fi. Rockwell's great. Ace concept. Going to watch again to see how tight story is.

Been meaning to catch this.

Brick: Decent enough modern noir but pretty clichd.

Took me two sittings to get through this. In the end I didn't really think it was worth the effort.

[Le Stu]

RE: Martyrs. I felt messed up for a good half an hour after watching that. For a good wheeze, recommend as a date movie.

I watched The Other Guys last night which has some very funny bits but they're sparcely scattered throughout.

[Soda Jerk]

Goodfellas better than the Godfather? I can't say I agree.

Watched Four Lions at the weekend. Chris Morris and the writers from Peep Show had alot to do with it. It co-stars the guy from Phonejacker, which I don't like, but he is probably the best character. Very good film, very funny. I should really watch it again though. The dialogue is very sharp, and there were bits I missed since it wasn't the best of quality rips, and I was also crunching on pringles.

[Monster Zero]

I have largely just been continuing my Dario Argento retrospective

The Bird With The Crystal Plumage

His first film and more of a murder mystery than his later horror outings. An American writer in Rome witnesses a woman being stabbed in an art gallery and tries to piece together the mystery while being sure that there is an important element of events he has forgotten.

8/10

Tenebrae

After spending the late 70s making bizarre art horror films Argento returned to murder mystery. An American writer in Rome to promote his latest novel Tenebrae finds himself caught up in the midst of several killings apparently inspired by elements of his book. This was banned in the UK as part of the video nasty furore and remained so for years. Its actually pretty tame compared to the likes of Hostel and Martyrs as are most of the former video nasties but there are still a couple of pretty brutal moments and its one of his more coherent films.

9/10

Mother of Tears

His last film and the long delayed final part of the 3 Mothers trilogy that began in the late 80s with Suspiria and Inferno. His daughter Asia stars as a museum worker who witnesses a colleague being murdered by 3 strange figures after they open an urn found chained to a coffin buried outside a graveyard. Opening the urn has resurrected the witch Mother of Tears who causes chaos in Rome. Better than expected but the witches descending on Rome are like an irritating hen party of drunk goth chicks. A fair bit of pretty graphic deaths and nudity. Im not sure a resurrected witch would look like an out of work glamour model with fake tits though.

7/10

[Monster Zero]

I actually prefer watching Casino to Goodfellas these daysthink its possibly because I watched the latter so much on video.

Anyone who hasnt seen Moon should do so soon, its immense. The soundtrack is one of my favourite things ever.