Monster Zero Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 I was in Asda at the weekend and they had loads of DVDs for a few quid, including so-bad-its-goof type effort Dead Snow, so I decided to try a couple of othersRogueId not heard of this but it was made by the guy who did Wolf Creek which I quite liked. It also has a few reasonably well known folk in it Sam Worthington, Radha Mitchell, Michael Vartan and the lass who played Alice in Tim Burtons latest ..in Wonderland effort. This actually turned out to be quite good, a boat load of tourists head off up river in Northern Territory Australia and get stranded on a wee island when a large croc attacks the boat. Its a tidal river and so they have to find a way across to land before the water and croc gets to their level. Kind of a cross between Jaws, Lake Placid and Cujo. The croc effects are actually pretty good. 9/10Shark in VeniceStephen Baldwin looks quite chubby and goes to Venice to look into what happened to his diver Dad who went missing at the same time as a couple of other divers were killed. I actually fell asleep during this and I am going to revisit it tonight in a masochistic fashion as the bit I saw gets it a 4/10 at best but I like to see what happens.The Invention of LyingRicky Gervais plays Ricky Gervais in a world where the gene for lying does not exist (?) and he invents lying and becomes some sort of public hero after inventing a man in the sky who oversees everything that happens. Starts off quite funny but doesnt really go anywhere interesting in the second half. Jennifer Garner, Rob Lowe and Tina Fey all co-star and Edward Norton and Phillip Seymour Hoffman pop up in doing-a-favour cameos. As does Barry off Eastenders in a Gervais still doing favours for him scene. Theres quite a good extra on the DVD where Karl Pilkington is lined up for a caveman scene and is fitted out for a bald cave wig when everyone else has full head of hair ones. He generally just grumbles about it all as he does. Probably funnier than a lot of the film itself.7/10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Zero Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 Titanic 2 - Who's dumb idea was this? Terrible acting and CGI so bad it looked like a cartoon. Even the fucking boat is CGI. They couldn't even use a real boat!*I don't understand how this sequel works...is it just a shit remake of the Kate Winslet one or is it actually another boat with the same name that also sinks? Does it also have a CGI version of Winslet getting her baps out in 'A Scanner Darkly' Winona fashion?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 I don't understand how this sequel works...is it just a shit remake of the Kate Winslet one or is it actually another boat with the same name that also sinks? Does it also have a CGI version of Winslet getting her baps out in 'A Scanner Darkly' Winona fashion??I'd scan her darkly.(I have no idea what this means either.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonz Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 Gamer - Terrible, just terrible.Kick-Ass - I'd never read (or even heard of) the comics before so I got to enjoy this from a 'fresh start'. It's about a regular kid who decides to become a superhero, despite having no super powers, and his subsequent adventures fighting crime and teaming up with other 'superheroes' he meets. Cracking little movie, Nic Cage is brilliant as fellow superhero Big Daddy, well worth a watch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 I don't understand how this sequel works...is it just a shit remake of the Kate Winslet one or is it actually another boat with the same name that also sinks? Does it also have a CGI version of Winslet getting her baps out in 'A Scanner Darkly' Winona fashion??From what I read on the i button as I flicked past it on the skyguide, 100 years after Titanic another boat is named Titanic and suffers a remarkably similar fate to the original. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Zero Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 From what I read on the i button as I flicked past it on the skyguide, 100 years after Titanic another boat is named Titanic and suffers a remarkably similar fate to the original.Words fail me. I have to see it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfer_Rosa Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 It is by the same company who did Snakes on a Train, Transmorphers, Paranormal Entity and Mega Shark vs Octopus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted August 16, 2010 Author Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 From what I read on the i button as I flicked past it on the skyguide, 100 years after Titanic another boat is named Titanic and suffers a remarkably similar fate to the original.Words fail me. I have to see it.Close. The new boat is actually called Titanic 2! It's set in 2012, exactly 100 years since the Titanic set sail, and it's heading on the same route as the Titanic. It even looks the same. The big difference is that instead of the ship sailing into an iceberg, a tsunami caused by global warming makes a huge iceberg crash into the stationary ship.Yes, it is as shit as it sounds.Titanic II (2010) (V)Really you ought to see it just for the CGI, which is just stock footage of waves with a completely stationary and obviously fake boat on it. This is my impression of it: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berni907 Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 Just watched Convoy. I'm assuming it was made in the 70's... excellent though. Comedy, Violence, Angry Sheriffs, cars flying into church roofs... it has everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TR!ΔNGL€ T€€TH Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 It is by the same company who did Snakes on a Train, Transmorphers, Paranormal Entity and Mega Shark vs OctopusI am so hoping that this is in fact a cheap knock off of Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, albeit a more one sided affair than the original. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delboy Posted August 16, 2010 Report Share Posted August 16, 2010 Sorry to say this Del.....I 'm not a Ray Winstone fan....puts me off watching the films. it would be a dull world if we all liked and enjoyed the same thing mr cynic! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Zero Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 Shark in VeniceStephen Baldwin looks quite chubby and goes to Venice to look into what happened to his diver Dad who went missing at the same time as a couple of other divers were killed. I actually fell asleep during this and I am going to revisit it tonight in a masochistic fashion as the bit I saw gets it a 4/10 at best but I like to see what happens.OK so I watched this again last night. Actually turns out that I must have slept through most of it which probably explains why I struggled to get to sleep when I went to bed. Its actually a horrific movie but has pretty good comedic value. Stephen Baldwin has some great facial expressions. When he is running away from the bad guys he often has an earnest scowl reminiscent of Alan Partridge in determined mode. He runs with a funny kind of slant and often has a strange slack-jawed thing going on as well. There is an awesome bit where he is hiding behind a pillar when the bad guys are chasing him and while its quite possible that they would have run past him he instead shoves some stuff out to trip them up so he can run back the other way under hail of gunfire. The basic plot has been nicked from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. The great white sharks are pretty much superfluous to the plot and most of the shark footage is obviously taken from nature documentaries. Most of the folk who get bitten by the sharks are dead but SB managed to get bitten on the arm, get shaken everywhere but still escape up some sort of well and wander about a hidden cave looking at treasure. He even jumps back in the water to get out of there as he is trapped and next thing we see he is in hospital apparently someone had to save him as he had collapsed from loss of blood. Its not clear how he avoided drowning when he collapsed underwater and how his rescuers managed to find him and avoid the sharks. Maybe the sharks were put off by the fact they couldnt bite off Stephen Baldwins arm. There is one great bit included as a random interlude where a rubbish CGI shark makes off with a gondola load of tourists and stock footage of a shark eating a seal follows to make out like a tourist is being eaten. Loads of folk are seen swooning and witnessing the event but then we cut to a news report that describes people going missing. The Venice police dont seem to make connections between shark feasts and folk going missing. The ending features the cops arriving and lots of abseiling for no reason whatsoever. Stephens girlfriend has been pretty much the weak female for the whole movie but suddenly turns into a badass deadshot with a gun at this stage.I dont remember what films I have seen Stephen Baldwin in before but seem to remember he was pretty good in The Usual Suspects, even when he got a lit fag pinged in his eye. That was apparently really real and unscripted; the other actor just improvised it. That actually could make Stephen a bit of a ball sack for not giving the guy a shoeing.Anyway its probably actually a 3/10 generously but recommended alcohol fuelled viewing for comedic value. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Cynic Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 Saw 'Gainsbourg' yesterday in the Belmont.......was good, and passed quickly. Would happily watch again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diesel Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 Me and The Kid watched The Terror of Mechagodzilla the other night.Godzilla has metamorphasised from city-stomping menace, to guardian of the planet.Here's the synopsis from IMDB..."Aliens from a dying galaxy plan to destroy our cities and build their new home on Earth. Their weapon is Mechagodzilla, a 400-foot-tall robot, armed with powerful lasers and guided missiles. Only Godzilla is mighty enough to stop the colossal machine. But when Professor Mafuni joins the aliens, not even Godzilla will be able to defeat them. Mafuni controls Titanosaurus, a gigantic amphibious dinosaur, through a biochemical connection with his cyborg daughter, Katsura. Godzilla is no match for Titanosaurus and Mechagodzilla together; but Interpol agents have discovered Titanosaurus' weakness, and may give Godzilla the fighting chance he needs to save the world!"Christopher Nolan - eat your heart out This movie is beyond hilarous, from the editing (people disappear from the screen at random), to the "script" to the suspiciously Japanese-looking alien's outfits.The highlight for me was when during a fight with the giant robot, Godzilla does an Ali Shuffle before landing a serious of left-right combinations to it's big metal head.I was practically SCREAMING with laughter by that stage!8/10 for comedy factor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Zero Posted August 17, 2010 Report Share Posted August 17, 2010 Saw 'Gainsbourg' yesterday in the Belmont.......was good, and passed quickly. Would happily watch again.I saw the poster for that in the train station the other day, looked like the guy was a pretty good look-alike. Nae luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirsten Posted August 22, 2010 Report Share Posted August 22, 2010 Piranha 3D. It was emotional and enlightening and made me want to become a better person. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Zero Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 Piranha 3D. It was emotional and enlightening and made me want to become a better person.Yeah but you didn't mention Kelly Brook's growler.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Zero Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 Yesterday I spent the earlier part of my hangover watching Die Hard part 1 and 2. Still both great.In the evening I watched Centurion which is the new one from Neil Marshall who made Dog Soldiers, The Descent and Doomsday. Its about Romans fighting Picts, getting captured, escaping, fighting some more, etc. Its pretty cool I suppose. Some mighty bloodthirsty violence. 8/10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirsten Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 Yeah but you didn't mention Kelly Brook's growler....I thought her vagina was pensive. And quite moving. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Easy Wishes Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 Can we just clarify this - is there or is there not a Kelly Brook vagina shot in Piranha 3D? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 The Belmont are screening The Room for anyone interested. Get your cutlery at the ready! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bob Knob Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 Just watched The Big Lebowski. I'm off to Amsterdam in a few days and for some reason, this seemed like a good choice of film to get the mood on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeanette Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 Watched Anchorman on BBC3 on Saturday night. Never fails to make me laugh!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfer_Rosa Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 A Prophet - French film about a young petty criminal's sentence in prison, and his climb up the crime ranks while he's there. Genuinely one of the best films I've seen in years. Brutal and gritty, but is full of little details and great acting that really made it for me. Cracking soundtrack too. Highly recommended. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Stu Posted August 23, 2010 Report Share Posted August 23, 2010 I watched The Machinist which was okay, a bit like Memento meets Fight Club but I didn't think it was that clever. Fortunately, neither am I so nothing was lost on me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.