Hog Posted April 29, 2008 Report Share Posted April 29, 2008 Where are the McCanns taking their children for holiday this year? Austria. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jake Wifebeater Posted April 30, 2008 Report Share Posted April 30, 2008 Just when you thought Madeleine McCann had seen off all challengers, some Austrian lass beats the record by 23 years... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted April 30, 2008 Report Share Posted April 30, 2008 _____| || O| /I\| / \|-----------BRI_G__DClue: Welsh town._____| || O| /|\| / \---M - R K / S P E - G H T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted May 1, 2008 Report Share Posted May 1, 2008 Funniest picture ever? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HateEvent Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 There has been a recent down turn in Stag parties going to Austria,since it was revealed Austrians really do lock up their daughters... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paulscoconutass Posted May 3, 2008 Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 Josef Fritzl's been commisioned to write an autobiography in the hope that it will give everyone an insight to is mind... it's tipped to be a best cellar.Got his "business card" e-mailed to me at work yesterday, can't find it online though. Went along the lines of: "Cellar conversions and soundproofing specialist, A 'family business' established 25 years" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biz Posted May 4, 2008 Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 tonightSunday, 4 May 2008 Northern Laughs - Live Comedy @ Cafe Drummond: Gus Tawse presents -Vladimir McTavish, Ro Campbell, Alan & Alan the magicians, Rick Molland At Cafe Drummond, Aberdeen From 8:30pm (doors 7:00pm) Price: 5.00 / 4. NUS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue Denim.. Posted May 6, 2008 Report Share Posted May 6, 2008 Josef Fritzl was having a party in his house when one of his guests complained that they'd ran out of lager. That's OK says Josef, I've got some Tennents in the cellar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue Denim.. Posted May 6, 2008 Report Share Posted May 6, 2008 I was walking past the local Asylum the other day when I could hear everyone shouting 13, 13, 13, 13So, being curious I decided to peek through a hole in the fence to see what was going on. Some fucker poked me in the eye and then all I could hear was the shout....14, 14, 14, 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovers_spit Posted May 6, 2008 Report Share Posted May 6, 2008 What do you call a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Helen Keller?Endless love Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emergency72 Posted May 6, 2008 Report Share Posted May 6, 2008 3 folk in CIA training, 2 guys and a woman. They're ready for their final test. One by one they enter the heads office.1st guy goes in ..... "Congratulations, you've come far, theres just one final test...your wife is in the other room, I need you take this gun and shoot her dead""No way man, no way, I love my wife, I can't do it, I WON'T do it sir!""No problem, you done well, but you're not cut out for this job, collect your wife and vacate please"2nd guy goes in ..... "Congratulations, you've come far, theres just one final test...your wife is in the other room, I need you take this gun and shoot her dead"He enters the room, looks her in the eye... "what..what is it?" she asks?"I, I, I...." he begins to shake and feels sick....he leaves the room"I can't do it sir, I love my wife, take this gun please" and he passes it to him, hands still shaking..."No problem, you done well, but you're not cut out for this job, collect your wife and vacate please"The woman goes in.... "Congratulations, you've come far, theres just one final test...your husband is in the other room, I need you take this gun and shoot him dead"She enters the room. As soon as the door closes there is a loud bang. Then another.....and another....and another.....and another...There is a pause of silence. Then there is repeated banging and the sound of someone in agony...the sound is banging and crashing away....the pain sounds more and more intense...the head steps into the room"What the hell is going on in here?!?!" he screams"You'll never believe it, the bullets were all blank so I had to bludgeon the bastard's face with the gun!"sorry for wasting your time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daviedingdong Posted May 16, 2008 Report Share Posted May 16, 2008 What does a rangers fan do when his team wins the UEFA cup?Turns of his playstation and gets back into bed with his sister! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovers_spit Posted May 16, 2008 Report Share Posted May 16, 2008 how many potatoes does it take to kill an irish man?none Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TR!ΔNGL€ T€€TH Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 how many potatoes does it take to kill an irish man?noneChrist almighty... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scorge Posted May 21, 2008 Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted May 22, 2008 Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 What is the number 1 cause of paedophilia in Britain?Sexy kids.What do 9 out of ten people enjoy?Gang rape. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GavH Posted May 22, 2008 Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 What is the number 1 cause of paedophilia in Britain?Sexy kids.What do 9 out of ten people enjoy?Gang rape. :laughing: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scootray Posted May 22, 2008 Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 Hear about the rift between lampard and drogba? drogba got the hump cause lampard would invite him to his mums funeral......apparently he was worried drogba might dive in the box!Boom Boom! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scootray Posted May 25, 2008 Report Share Posted May 25, 2008 Two blonde girls walk into a department store. They walk up to the perfume counter and pick up a sample bottle. Nancy sprays it on her wrist and smells it, That's quite nice, don't you think, Kathy?Kathy takes a sniff and replies, That is nice. What's it called?Viens a moi, replies Nancy.Viens a moi? What the heck does that mean?At this stage the assistant offers some help. Viens a moi, ladies, means 'come to me' in French.Nancy takes another sniff, then offers her arm to Kathy again, and remarks,That doesn't smell like come to me. Does that smell like come to you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liam Posted May 26, 2008 Report Share Posted May 26, 2008 Duck Standing At The Side Of The Road.Chicken Walks Up And Says, "Dont Do It Mate, You'll Never Hear The Fucking End Of It!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jake Wifebeater Posted May 28, 2008 Report Share Posted May 28, 2008 Just remembered this oldie:A man's walking along a cliff-top and he sees a little girl sitting at the edge crying. He says "Hey, what's wrong?" and the girl replies "It was horrible mister, I was with mummy and daddy and we were walking along the cliff and they fell off the edge! They're down there dead and I don't know what to do."The man unzips, pulls out his dick and says "It's just not your day, is it?". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted June 13, 2008 Report Share Posted June 13, 2008 What do you et if you cross a dinosaur with a plate?A tyrannosaucer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TR!ΔNGL€ T€€TH Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stripey Posted June 15, 2008 Report Share Posted June 15, 2008 two fonts walk into a bar, the barman says "sorry, we don't serve your type here" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue Denim.. Posted June 15, 2008 Report Share Posted June 15, 2008 Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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