Ever been barred from a pub or club?

[Sue Denim..]

I've just been having a discussion with some guys about getting barred from pubs and it turned out some folks have some pretty amusing tales. (Half of them are probably shite but hey, never let the truth get in the way of a good story.)

So I'll start...

I was barred from RSVP for drunkenly falling into their Christmas tree and knocking it over.

[pete_inthehills]

I was asked to leave and never come back from a pub in Newcastle. They were really nice about it, considering I'd just knocked a table with about 30 drinks on it. I was showing some admiring girls how to shimmy. But I unaccountably kicked the back of one foot with the other and dived headfirst in to the table.

Oddly the girls didn't join me in my banishment.

pete

[Bodast]

From the Moorings (not permanently like) on my 18th birthday, for previous underage drinking.

Aww...

[Hog]

From the shitty club which used to be DeNiros.

I missed a step on the stairs *no big deal*. So was man handled out of the place. I explained that my pals were in the bar but the guy just told me to go home...em, but my pals are in the club. Fanny.....and it's a shit place anyway.

[GraemeC]

I got banned from the Copper Beech in Garthdee for a week for farting....its true...

It was a beezer, the smell lingers to this very day...o_O

A month later I was banned again for drunkenly encouraging this random to eat a beer glass....he spent a week in hospital....

[Guest Jake Wifebeater]

I got banned from the Palace once, because some fucking caveman started on me. I did as anyone else who got banned from the Palace did, waited a few months till all was forgotten, then went back.

I've been chucked out of Weep a few times, simply for being too hammered, one time I fell asleep standing up at the bar. "Chucked out" is maybe a bit strong, the bouncers there tend to be pretty cool if you don't give them shit. They let you get your jacket, which is most reasonable.

[Fast Caz]

I got banned from the Palace once, because some fucking caveman started on me. I did as anyone else who got banned from the Palace did, waited a few months till all was forgotten, then went back.

I've been chucked out of Weep a few times, simply for being too hammered, one time I fell asleep standing up at the bar. "Chucked out" is maybe a bit strong, the bouncers there tend to be pretty cool if you don't give them shit. They let you get your jacket, which is most reasonable.

Ah yeah i mind that night now ........ vertical sleeping was all the rage back then !

When coming out of poshulu i remember you took what seemed to be the biggest hurdle jump i've witnessed, then pissed on the bassment fron door

[Flash@TMB]

Due to karma the rest of my working life is going to be sheer fucking hell. And it's all my own fault.

1) The Ship Hotel, Reading, 1990. Jumping over the bar to pour my own pints. I got caught trying to climb back over with 3 pints stashed on my person with the intention of taking them away with me.

2) Aberdeen University Union, 1991. Falling down the stairs. All the stairs. And smuggling in a litre bottle of vodka and drinking it in a one-er. This almost killed me. My 'plan' was to neck it all to impress my mates then go to the bogs and throw it up. It hit me so fast I forgot where to bogs were and the rest is history/folklore.

3) RGU Union, 1991. Smashing the window of the front door then trying to unlock it to get back in. The bouncers gave me a small doing for this, and the ban lasted a year. The irony was it was fire glass and was impossible to reach through the glass due to the mesh screen. I also had a valid reason - my mates were still inside. Doh!

4) Bensons, now Bugsy Browns, 1992. Had to reverse my bike leather to get past security. Once inside the music was utter garbage. Then about 20 mins later the DJ says (they yse to talk in those days) "Now for some sounds of the 70s", and proceeded to play Blondie and ZZ Top. The jacket got reversed back and up I went for a mosh. The only other person on the dancefloor was some blonde stick insect who was trying to waggle her lack of tits in my face. Then she got to close to my head banging and caught the full impact of my forehead across the bridge of her nose making a perfect STITCH noise and instantly rendering her unconcious. She went down like a sack of tatties. Cue bouncers...

5) The Holburn Bar, 1993. Closing time. The barman neglected to ring last orders, just shut the pub early. I took umbrage being several quid up in a (illegal) card game. I'd rather not repeat the rest because I am deeply ashamed of it.

6) Number Ten, 2001. Conducting an empty pint glass mortar attack outside on my mates. *HANGS HEAD IN SHAME*.

7) The Moorings Bar, 1998. For various offences the most humerous of which was accidentally setting fire to a tray of 26 sambuccas then dropping them when my arm also caught fire. In all honesty this was accidental and an unwarrented ban.

8) Chimes Restaurant Peterculter, 1994. The Duck Soo Chow was inedible so we walked out without paying. Chinese whispers soon morphed this story into a bike gang starting a riot, but there was just 2 of us and the worst I did was stick up my middle finger.

9) The Ritzy (Palace), 1989. The first time I was feeling sick after a dose of tequila slammers. Was seated on one of the big sofas. I discretely filled an empty pint glass with puke whilst pretending to drink from it (the bouncer had his eye o me), then needing to puke again I leaned over the side of the sofa, the ruse being that I was looking for something... and too late saw the girl sitting down there on the floor as I threw up on her

10) The Palace, 1992. The second time was when my girlfriend started lobbing empty glasses onto the dancefloor and I took the rap.

11) Smart Alex, 1991. For throwing an abandoned jacket off the balcony and onto the band whilst they were playing.

12) Some country hotel in Livingston, 1997. Residents drinking after hours when the night man left the bar to attend to something. Attempted to pour a pnt of Caffreys (why?) and managed to break the tap, sending jets of caffreys all over the room until the keg emptied...

Never succeeded in getting banned from anywhere in Stonehaven though...

I think that's all. I'm really REALLY sorry for being a total drunken arsehole, and a total hypocrite. Believe me I pay for this in karma every single week.

[Guest MDP]

7) The Moorings Bar, 1998. For various offences the most humerous of which was accidentally setting fire to a tray of 26 sambuccas then dropping them when my arm also caught fire. In all honesty this was accidental and an unwarrented ban.

did you by any chanse just buy your favorite bar to stop yourself ending up with nowhere to drink??

[Benji]

Palace - Plastered

Bugsies - Fighting

Neuk - Smashed window

PoW - drunk & disorderly

Exodus x 2 - Drunk & Disorderly x 2

Berlins (lol) - Too drunk or fighting.. prolly both

Ministry - Sleeping

Amadeus - Wearing trainers !!

Casino bar - Being a cunt

I'm normally a really nice guy. Even when Im drunk it takes a lot to get me going. I'm a victim of circumstance. Must be.

[Fast Caz]

Ah yes the good old pint glass mortars .. the fun that can be had.

I have not been barred from anywhere as of yet , but . . . .

[Chris]

Got kicked out of a wetherspoons in Perth after some friends of mine slid down a banister that they'd just that minute finished fixing and broke it again. Their genius plan to avoid the bouncers was to come and sit at our table. Cue burly men standing behind us saying it was time to go as we'd just sat down with our first round of the night. Idiots.

[Marsh]

I got banned from the Palace once, because some fucking caveman started on me. I did as anyone else who got banned from the Palace did, waited a few months till all was forgotten, then went back.

That was the night you had a pars bag with you for some random reason! I remember that!

I got chucked out of the palace for starting a "genie" right at the door! I did what Jake did too and all was forgotten.

[Scorge]

I'm probably still barred from the Star in Montrose for chucking beer bottles across the room. Might go and find out tonight if it's still being enforced......

[Lemonade]

I got barred from Rileys pool hall on Chapel Street for starting a fight with Joe Mangel off of Neighbours. True story.

[Marillionboy]

I think the irony is wonderful that the person with the most bans on here now runs the best and most civilised pub in Scotland.

I just don't seem to be able to get banned from places, hard as I try. I once was walking through Piccadilly very late at night absolutely off my face and saw the back doors to a nightclub open as a staff member was putting some rubbish out. I breezed in and found myself in the VIP area. I sat down and a guy at the bar turned round and handed me two drinks. I took them and drunk them both and thanked him, and then realised one was for the girl sitting next to me.

Amazingly, the other one seemed to have been anyones.

I realised about twenty minutes later that everyone else in there was in dinner suits and the girls in ball gowns, and I was in jeans and a T shirt. It turned out it was a Law Society party or something like that.

One of many strange incidents so far in my little life.

By the way, although we didn't styick around long enough to get a ban, I'm sure the Belmont Bar aren't in a hurry to see us again. My mates and I used to have dares to go into dodgy pubs but on the opccasion we went in there as soon as got in my mate puked everywhere, and we ran so fast I have no idea what would have happened if we'd stayed.

[Teabags]

Exodus - for the way I was dressed.

Exodus - for standing on the lion across the roads head with my trousers down, on one leg.

Exodus - for being the only people in there on a Sunday and trying to climb the bar to retrieve a beach ball and putting my balls in a wine glass.

Triple Kirks - I dont actually know why

The Priory - For going in and shouting how shit it was in here

The Moorings - was banned from being served because I had stole someones umbrella. In all honesty, I still dont remember this. Sorry Flash.

thrown out of Moshulu various times, for exposing myself, falling asleep, being hammered, being caught in a compromising fashion with a member of the opposite sex and emmm, various other things. worst one was for dancing in the cage at "Caged" even though I hadnt touched anyone while in there. Though, all the times they let me get my jacket, exceot for the Caged incident in which I was literally "thrown" outside where I sat on the road for half an hour waiting for everyone else to come out.

[framheim]

Exodus - for being the only people in there on a Sunday and trying to climb the bar to retrieve a beach ball and putting my balls in a wine glass.

that's the only thing in this thread that's made me laugh so far.

[RicoAUBL]

myself and g.dove (he only had to leave cos he was with me..) got asked to leave a club in barnstaple in devon while on tour

we had only been in there for about half an hour

but i was feeling pretty rough and decided on a tactical spew to aid the drinking of more beer

unfortunately when i finished (quite please with myself) i looked up and the bouncer was standing looking over the cubical..

he was less than impressed and refused to believe my "its not the booze, im just not feeling well story"

i think the people from the gig we were with were quite impressed we got thrown out so quickly :]

got kicked out of Reilly's cos one of our mates threw up on the floor

- we'd smuggled in a crate of beer and made quite a mess too :]

jimmy demanded we left the bassment after i spewed on the floor by the pool tables

(having consumed 11 jagers and a heap of beer - you can see this in the film we made about that particular evening)

i've done much worse things in the past and havent been caught

which is always good

[Frosty Jack]

To be fair though, it's not exactly hard to be chucked out of / barred from Exodus. I can't remember the last time I was there and was allowed to stay til closing...

I dunno how many bars I've been 'excluded' from, I tend not to remember too well. But off the top of my head there has been Ma Camerons, Drummonds, the Belmont, The Wild Boar, Triple Kirks, RSVP, the Drift Inn, the Venue, the St Andrews Bar, The Palace/whatever (I think I've been chucked out of the same building under at least three different names), several Glasgow and London establishments and the entire Isle of Wight.

This is not something to be proud of, obviously.

[Benji]

To be fair though, it's not exactly hard to be chucked out of / barred from Exodus. I can't remember the last time I was there and was allowed to stay til closing...

Aye exodus is piss easy to get thrown out ov..

Although amadeus was a cunt for getting chucked out, or in some cases not getting in. I once tripped coming out of a taxi at the front door. They seen me trip and refused me entry, but of course my taxi had taken off by then so I stood next to the door, and started throwing my minky Amadeus member cards at them.. One of them promised to smash me up if I did it again. So I waited for ages and pissed on his leg when he turned his back on me! Then ran like a motherfucker!!

I was a bit drunk so I kinda feel bad for doing it. But the cunt was, he waited untill the taxi left before not letting me in. Aye good een prick!

LMFAO!

[Shaki]

I guess I'm not as rock and Roll as I'd like to think! I've been asked to leave plenty places but only ever because of falling asleep. Bouncers are usually quite gentle in these situations as they realise a half dead me isn't suddenly going to turn violent and even if I did it definately wouldn't hurt!

[Stripey]

In Kef there is a stencil of someones face with "I am barred for being a cunt" written underneath it, painted next to the bar. I think this should be a more common practice.

C'mon, there isn't really an excuse for getting barred, except for the odd incident where the door staff do genuinely misunderstand the situation. I don't think it's anything to be proud of anyway, being pissed is no excuse for being an actual violent or abusive twat, or harrassing door and bar staff in an equally twattish manner.

[Shaki]

In Kef there is a stencil of someones face with "I am barred for being a cunt" written underneath it, painted next to the bar. I think this should be a more common practice.

C'mon, there isn't really an excuse for getting barred, except for the odd incident where the door staff do genuinely misunderstand the situation. I don't think it's anything to be proud of anyway, being pissed is no excuse for being an actual violent or abusive twat, or harrassing door and bar staff in an equally twattish manner.

I find the behaviour of many people "out on the town" despicable. You can blame the binge drinking culture but I'm a binge drinker and worst I'll do is attack you with my mind......or more likely talk a load of shit, bore/confuse/annoy you......then fall asleep. It's when you add binge drinking with already being a cunt that causes a problem. Anyone who says "oh, I'm not really like that, I was just drunk" is full of shit. You are really like that but just manage to control it when you're sober, you closet violent psychopath.

[Stripey]

I find the behaviour of many people "out on the town" despicable. You can blame the binge drinking culture but I'm a binge drinker and worst I'll do is attack you with my mind......or more likely talk a load of shit, bore/confuse/annoy you......then fall asleep. It's when you add binge drinking with already being a cunt that causes a problem. Anyone who says "oh, I'm not really like that, I was just drunk" is full of shit. You are really like that but just manage to control it when you're sober, you closet violent psychopath.

yeah that's what I mean really, shit like throwing pint glasses, smashing windows, and just generally arsing about like a child, there's no need for it. These people are clearly twats in the first place, drink or no drink.