Pet Hates!

[Surfer_Rosa]

Or buy an old fashioned cloth handkerchief.

Dad?? Is that you? I didn't realise you posted on here

[TR!ΔNGL€ T€€TH]

there was however a newton faulkner lookalike yesterday on a tiny bike pedalling around with a megaphone shouting at everyone to 'get involved'. twat.

I bet that cunt is a charity mugger as well. Death is not good enough for him.

[Soda Jerk]

The opening on the side of a regular box of washing powder. Total balls. It never pours good no matter how much powder is in the box. It comes out it drips and dregs, until you get annoyed with it and tip it all the way over and too much comes pouring out and overflows the drawer. I fully blame that little perferated square that you tear off. It's just not designed for pouring and it's just not in the right place. It needs to be on the top, right at the edge. Then it would work. I feel I need to be consulted more often before organisations make FUCKING STUPID decisions.

To extend on the Bee hate. Why can't a Bee fly in a bastard straight line? They never do. They are swirling round in big wonky circles, so when they fly right past my face, they don't just go straight past. They hover around for a bit, having a laugh, spinning in a big hoop, before continuing on their swervy, topsy-turvy route, like some kind of winged alcoholic. It's just not on. Are they gonna sting me, or are they just taunting me with their danger stripes and arse-dagger? Cretins!

[Guest treader.]

To extend on the Bee hate. Why can't a Bee fly in a bastard straight line? They never do. They are swirling round in big wonky circles, so when they fly right past my face, they don't just go straight past. They hover around for a bit, having a laugh, spinning in a big hoop, before continuing on their swervy, topsy-turvy route, like some kind of winged alcoholic. It's just not on. Are they gonna sting me, or are they just taunting me with their danger stripes and arse-dagger? Cretins!

Bee - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[Guest Exposure @ Lemon Tree]

The opening on the side of a regular box of washing powder. Total balls. It never pours good no matter how much powder is in the box. It comes out it drips and dregs, until you get annoyed with it and tip it all the way over and too much comes pouring out and overflows the drawer. I fully blame that little perferated square that you tear off. It's just not designed for pouring and it's just not in the right place. It needs to be on the top, right at the edge. Then it would work. I feel I need to be consulted more often before organisations make FUCKING STUPID decisions.

To extend on the Bee hate. Why can't a Bee fly in a bastard straight line? They never do. They are swirling round in big wonky circles, so when they fly right past my face, they don't just go straight past. They hover around for a bit, having a laugh, spinning in a big hoop, before continuing on their swervy, topsy-turvy route, like some kind of winged alcoholic. It's just not on. Are they gonna sting me, or are they just taunting me with their danger stripes and arse-dagger? Cretins!

I'm going to start an Original Spies appreciation thread, maybe, if I can be arsed. Your posts are always of the highest calibre.

[Soda Jerk]

Bee - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Related to ants? Holy piss.

Fuck Bee's man.

[Skubbs]

People who write Metallica as MetallicA and Pantera as PanterA... It's just wankerish. The band logo was written in capitals with the first and last letter elongated, so there's no need to put the upper case A at the end. Gah!

(waiting for the outrage and "shut ups")

[Alan Cynic]

I llike the doric name for bumble bees ...."Foggy bummers".....fits in with your theories about them being high on something.

[Alan Cynic]

People who write Metallica as MetallicA and Pantera as PanterA... It's just wankerish. The band logo was written in capitals with the first and last letter elongated, so there's no need to put the upper case A at the end. Gah!

(waiting for the outrage and "shut ups")

Something to do with them being closet ABBA fans, I suppose.

[Skubbs]

Something to do with them being closet ABBA fans, I suppose.

[Diesel]

Current one is people with thick regional accents who make no attempt whatsover to be understood when talking to non-locals and foreigners.

I work for a consultancy firm and we deal with clients all over the globe. We have an old battleaxe working for us, who's been in with the bricks and it's BEYOND painful listening to her talking on the phone.

Here's a condensed extract of a recent conversation with a Norwegian client who was having issues with one of our systems....

Part pet hate, part joke with an injection of irony...

"Hi, ah'm calling tae spikk 'til ye aboot at' problems yiz is hivvin, ken? Well, it winna be 'at, it's certainly nae 'isssss, an' a dinna kyeeen aboot the other ken? But I'll hae a lukk et it in a wee minty and be back wi' ye in nae lang, or mibbe later iday or imorn, ken?"

The she hangs up an says....

"Kyeeeen 'issssss? see 'at bloooody Noorwegians, ah dinda unerstaun bloooody word ih mannie wiz sayin, ken?"

FFS.

[Lemonade]

1st - Milk bottles. They are ALWAYS too full. You open a new one and start pouring it into your coffee and it just goes fucking everywhere.

2 - Aberdeen-Music.com. You click on the "last post" button to get into a thread you've posted in, when the window opens you starting scrolling up to find everything that's happened since your last post, only as soon as you get to where you want to be the page finishes loading and takes you back to the last post again. ANNOYING.

[paranoid]

People who write Metallica as MetallicA and Pantera as PanterA... It's just wankerish. The band logo was written in capitals with the first and last letter elongated, so there's no need to put the upper case A at the end. Gah!

(waiting for the outrage and "shut ups")

I agree, same with SlipKnot. Bastards.

[Guest Exposure @ Lemon Tree]

1st - Milk bottles. They are ALWAYS too full. You open a new one and start pouring it into your coffee and it just goes fucking everywhere.

I think this means you're a woman. My fiancee has a complete inability to pour from a new milk bottle. But, I can do it no problem.

Oh - and dinna greet aboot it.

[Soda Jerk]

"Hi, ah'm calling tae spikk 'til ye aboot at' problems yiz is hivvin, ken? Well, it winna be 'at, it's certainly nae 'isssss, an' a dinna kyeeen aboot the other ken? But I'll hae a lukk et it in a wee minty and be back wi' ye in nae lang, or mibbe later iday or imorn, ken?"

There was no reason for this word to be spelled like that. It's the same with Lolcats, with words being spelled differently (wrong) even though the pronunciation of it would be identical.

I fucking hate fun. Fuck your fun, and your pictures of cats saying stuff. You're not a monorail and you don't have a cheeseburger, you disease.

[WoodyRATM]

Current one is people with thick regional accents who make no attempt whatsover to be understood when talking to non-locals and foreigners.

I work for a consultancy firm and we deal with clients all over the globe. We have an old battleaxe working for us, who's been in with the bricks and it's BEYOND painful listening to her talking on the phone.

Here's a condensed extract of a recent conversation with a Norwegian client who was having issues with one of our systems....

Part pet hate, part joke with an injection of irony...

"Hi, ah'm calling tae spikk 'til ye aboot at' problems yiz is hivvin, ken? Well, it winna be 'at, it's certainly nae 'isssss, an' a dinna kyeeen aboot the other ken? But I'll hae a lukk et it in a wee minty and be back wi' ye in nae lang, or mibbe later iday or imorn, ken?"

The she hangs up an says....

"Kyeeeen 'issssss? see 'at bloooody Noorwegians, ah dinda unerstaun bloooody word ih mannie wiz sayin, ken?"

FFS.

Jesus.

o_O

[Diesel]

There was no reason for this word to be spelled like that. It's the same with Lolcats, with words being spelled differently (wrong) even though the pronunciation of it would be identical.

I fucking hate fun. Fuck your fun, and your pictures of cats saying stuff. You're not a monorail and you don't have a cheeseburger, you disease.

Michty!

Bad day at the office dear?

Have a cup of coffee and a slice of flan.

[Soda Jerk]

Oh no. I just don't like Lolcats. It depicts them as being illiterate, which I sort of enjoy because cats are crapbastards, but I still don't understand why the spelling has to be altered when there's no change in pronunciation.

Batteries. Why so many sizes? Does anything in this day and age even use a C battery anymore? Probably not, and if you try and prove me wrong, you're probably lying and I'll just talk over you. Everything should be AA, and those square ones for guitar pedals, I guess. Those big dustin sized ones. What are they even for? Nothing. I have nothing that takes them, but some reason, I own a cupboard full of them. Get out of my house, useless fuel!

[Skubbs]

Current one is people with thick regional accents who make no attempt whatsover to be understood when talking to non-locals and foreigners.

I work for a consultancy firm and we deal with clients all over the globe. We have an old battleaxe working for us, who's been in with the bricks and it's BEYOND painful listening to her talking on the phone.

Here's a condensed extract of a recent conversation with a Norwegian client who was having issues with one of our systems....

Part pet hate, part joke with an injection of irony...

"Hi, ah'm calling tae spikk 'til ye aboot at' problems yiz is hivvin, ken? Well, it winna be 'at, it's certainly nae 'isssss, an' a dinna kyeeen aboot the other ken? But I'll hae a lukk et it in a wee minty and be back wi' ye in nae lang, or mibbe later iday or imorn, ken?"

The she hangs up an says....

"Kyeeeen 'issssss? see 'at bloooody Noorwegians, ah dinda unerstaun bloooody word ih mannie wiz sayin, ken?"

FFS.

I worked at a 4 star hotel, and the head waitress wouldn't let anyone else answer the phone, so most customers asking for directions would be greeted with a conversation along those lines. But think not Aberdonian but a wierd teuchter-Aberdonian-sheep mix.

[aekido]

for accents like that, you need to go to Buckie

ken iz, a da ken fit wer gan tae dee?

etc etc

[Johnny Mac]

for accents like that, you need to go to Buckie

ken iz, a da ken fit wer gan tae dee?

etc etc

Haha, i'm from Buckie and talk nothing like that.

Granted though, there are some people there who do.

[Guest Exposure @ Lemon Tree]

for accents like that, you need to go to Buckie

ken iz, a da ken fit wer gan tae dee?

etc etc

Nothing wrong with accents like that - I have one like that when I'm talking to people of my own kind. But people who make zero effort whatsoever piss me off. I've had a lifetime of that. It's bad enough when talking to someone from England or even a completely different part of Scotland. Here's the thing, saying "fit di yi mean" slower and louder won't mean the Polish or Lithuanian guy will have any hope of understanding you you fucking moron.

I worked many many years ago for a summer in fish factory in torry of all places. It was a combination of complete worked in a fish factory all their days toonsers from Kincorth and a load of foreign temps. One such temp was Iranian. I was the only person who had any hope whatsoever of communicating with him. He lasted about 2 days, because he couldn't understand any instructions given to him. One "conversation" that sticks in my head is the guy from Kincorth saying to Mohammed, "Eh, aye, we'll ca' yi Mo, ken, like short for Mohammed like, ken." Mohammed was completely dumbstruck - all conversations with Mohammed were the same as this. All the time.

I also remember standing in Slains one night with a couple of French guys, and bumping into a guy I knew from the Broch, who is an educated young man, but still keeps his strong Broch accent. He actually turned to me at one point whilst trying to get a point across to the French guy "I hate 'es" Meaning having to make an effort to speak to someone who didn't understand doric.

Fucking ignorant cunts.

[aekido]

I'm from Buckie and do talk like that

I just mute it a little here as most people stare at me like 'what the fuck?'

[Lemonade]

I grew up in Inverallochy and latterly Fraserburgh for 18 years I have a very strong local accent. I found when I moved to Aberdeen in 1998 if I spoke in my normal accent people thought I was a total oik who didn't have two brain cells to rub together. So I consciously made a decision to try to lose my accent and be a bit more concise, after 10 years it's just normal to me now and I speak as opposed to spik. But I slip into the Broch accent when I'm back there without evening noticing. But Brochers do have a tendency to say things like "Why are you fuckin spikking posh like at ye cunt, ye hink yer too good for i broch noo or summin?" if I dare to pronounce words properly.

[Guest treader.]

Obviously growing up in Inverallochy and latterly Fraserburgh I have a very strong accent, I found when I moved to Aberdeen in 1998 if I spoke in my normal accent people thought I was a total oik who didn't have two brain cells to rub together. So I consciously decided to try to lose my accent and be a bit more concise, after 10 years it's just normal to me now, but I slip into the Broch accent when I'm back there without evening noticing. But Brochers do have a tendency to say things like "Why are you fuckin spikking posh like at ye cunt, ye hink yer too good for i broch noo or summin?" if I dare to pronounce words properly.

I know a guy who got beaten up by his brother for saying 'speak' instead of 'spik' after spending a year in Aberdeen and going home to the Broch.

Pretty ridiculous when you think about it, but it happened.