Last film you watched?

[colb]

[Paranoid Android]

What's wrong with some nice simple illegal torrents? 

[Adam Easy Wishes]

I just like to obtain my illegal TV through other means, alright?

 

(Not really true, I do both lol)

Edited May 1, 2014 by Adam Easy Wishes

[James Broonbreed]

Speaking of Apple TV, I feel I'm probably not getting the most out of mine. Other than Netflix, which I use on my Xbox, there's nothing I ever seem to use. I very occasionally Airplay music from my phone but that's about it. Am I missing something or is it basically just useless pish?

[colb]

Qello is decent - tons of music documentaries for a couple of quid a month. I watched the Tad film on there last week.

[Old Gold]

Speaking of Apple TV, I feel I'm probably not getting the most out of mine. Other than Netflix, which I use on my Xbox, there's nothing I ever seem to use. I very occasionally Airplay music from my phone but that's about it. Am I missing something or is it basically just useless pish?

 

I use mine for hockey occasionally - the app for it that is pretty bangin'.  My wifi isnt' tuff enough for decent Airplay mirroring unfortunately, but that could be good for something.

[Mr Owl PhD]

The Wind Rises: The latest, and supposedly last, animated film to be directed by Hayao Miyazaki.  It's a biographical film about Japanese plane designer Jiro Horikoshi and is mostly set in the 1930s in the build up to the Second World War.  It's perhaps the most 'realistic' film I've seen from Miyazaki and it reminded me a bit of Takahata's 'Grave of the Fireflies' in its approach to WWII.  There are some great dream sequences in it, to keep it quirky, and some of the other sequences are just astonishing e.g. of the 1923 Tokyo earthquake.  The narrative, whilst quite simple in some ways, manages to convey a lot of very complex stuff e.g. the creative process, the wider political changes going on, the relationship between technology and war etc.  It's totally brilliant - pretty much as good as Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke but also very different to those films.

[Chris]

Thor 2: The Dark World

 

Not as good as Thor.

[James Broonbreed]

Thor 2: The Dark World

 

Not as good as Thor.

It was quite pish.

[ca_gere]

The Firm  - A stone cold 90s classic. Tom Cruise is fantastic in it.

Clear History - Larry David being Larry David in film form. Didn't quite hit the right notes but it's an ok watch.

The Family - a confused and confusing crime caper starring Robert De Niro and Michelle Pfeifer. Directed by Luc Besson. It doesn't make much sense throughout but it's worth a look for the climactic action scene at the end.

Unhung - A funny but ultimately empty documentary about a guy whose girflriend split up with him because he has a wee boab. Talks to porn stars, doctors, etc about boab size and tries out various lengthening/girthing techniques. Doesn't really break any new ground but he's an endearing subject and it's pretty funny.

[Paranoid Android]

Her - I went to the cinema for the first time in the while yesterday and watched this. I'd heard lots of good things about it but I was very disappointed by it. I was bored at various points throughout it and the more I've thought about it since the more i think that it just wasn't very good. 4/10

[Nomad_Axeman]

Her - I have to agree with Paranoid Android - it was overlong and the story was really more suited for 45 min Twighlight Zone-type series.

 

Recent views ...

 

Noah

Worst fillum I've ever paid to watch. Just awful. 0/10

 

The Abyss (Special Editon)

Hadn't seen this James Cameron epic in years and it was still enjoyable. The 25-year-old effects hold up extremely well and the extended footage puts more context around the NTI story arc. If I had a criticism, it would be that it's a bit ovelong and maybe has one climax to many. 8/10

 

Thor : The Dark World

Lots of things crashing into other things and ground being torn up bit random giant object. Guess I'm getting too old for this shit. Meh. 4/10

 

Man of Steel

As above. No charm, Very little humour, Stupid effects. 2/10

 

The shiteness of the above two movies compelled me to watch ....

 

Jason and the Argonauts

Dated effects, Speak-Your-Weight-Machine school of acting, Greek heroes with Brooklyn accents ... but ... Great story, ingenious use of available technology, skeleton sodjers. Superb. 10/10

 

7th Voyage of Sinbad

My personal favourite. As above, with added Cyclops. Fab. 10/10

 

 

Non Sci-fi/Fantasy ...

 

The Railway Man

Based on fact drama starring Old Woodentop himself, Colin Firth, as the real-life Japanese POW who was involved in building the Thai-Burma Railway line. The film explores the far-reaching consequences of his experiences. Solid film, moving at times. 7/10

 

The Iceman

Purportedly true story of reputed contract killer Richard Kuklinski, starring the always superb Micahel Shannon (he gets a pass Man of Steel). Set in the 60's & 70's and well worth a view. 8/10

 

Blue Jasmine

Cate Blanchett is excellent as the slightly unhinged sister of Sally Hawkins in this Woody Allen tale that really doesn't go anywhere. 6/10

 

Down the Shore

The IMDB synopsis is : "The lives of three childhood friends on the Jersey Shore begin to unravel when a secret from their past is revealed". A slow-moving, well acted story, that isn't all that engaging. It was sad to see the late James Gandolfini in this lethargic movie. 5/10

 

The Counsellor

With a all-star cast, a legendary director and a great writer, this should have been a classic. Instead, it's a complete mess. 4/10

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 14, 2014 by Nomad_Axeman

[The Milner]

[Stroopy121]

Super

 

Dwight from the Office has a shitty life, so he decides to become a superhero. He ends up teaming-up with Juno and takes on a local drug dealer/pimp/gangster played by Kevin Bacon. Bacon is a great villain - a truly loathsome bastard, kind of fucker that just makes your skin crawl.. I adored the film, it's hugely violent, completely dodges the "superheroes can't kill people.." archetypes and goes full anti-hero to the point where Dwight just fucks people up with a wrench. There are even some tits in there, too.

 

Absolutely great movie.

 

10/10

 

 

god bless america

 

Guy has a shitty life and decides to kill himself. But first, he goes on a killing spree, killing people who "deserve to die", like x-factor judges, brat kids off "my super-sweet 16" and generally any dickhead who profits from the misery of others, or who is contributing to the vacuous, brain-dead culture engulfing the country. Another anti-hero murder binge and it's just fucking lovely.

 

10/10

 

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

 

Inspired to watch this after it being referenced in god bless america - it's charming and it's pretty compelling, but the soundtrack is horrific. Any scene that is meant to be tense or scary is soundtracked by screaming white noise. It does a great job of making you feel ill-at-ease, but if you become conscious of the noises at any point it feels a little embarassing and cringe-worthy. The zombies are interesting because they barely look dead, they rely almost completely on their actions to be scary, rather than most modern zombies where the makeup and fake blood does most of the work. Worth a watch for fans of the genre as this is one of the greatest examples of early zombie-horror movies. Even if it is a little dated at times.

 

8/10

 

xx

Edited May 14, 2014 by Stroopy121

[Old Gold]

[The Milner]

[Skubbs]

Her - I went to the cinema for the first time in the while yesterday and watched this. I'd heard lots of good things about it but I was very disappointed by it. I was bored at various points throughout it and the more I've thought about it since the more i think that it just wasn't very good. 4/10

 

I've tried to watch it three times now and just can't get through it - although the strangling wtih the cat bit was pretty funny.  

[Lemonade]

Anchorman 2 - Bigger, longer, not as funny.

***

 

Sharknado - You kind of know what you're going to get with this - it's about a tornado full of sharks for fucks sake. It's garbage but in an oddly charming low-budget way. I always expect The Asylum's films to be a bit of a piss-take, like Zombie Strippers or Piranha, lots of funny self-reference, OTT blood and stacked with massive tits and I'm always surprised that they play them off as serious films with none of the above. Absolute horse but I liked it.

***

 

Hudson Hawk - 90s crime film in which Bruce Willis plays a master burglar who gets released from prison and blackmailed into carrying out robberies on behalf of a crime syndicate. It's so fucking weird. It's all slapstick humour, cartoony sound effects, like Who Framed Roger Rabbit or something, except that's an adult film full of swearing. Also they start off with a weird plot device where the characters sing old swing songs while carrying out the robberies, to time themselves. This is actually quite cool and the best bit of the movie, then it gets forgotten about again until right at the very end. It's a mixed up mess, it feels like it was written and directed by four different people completely independent of each other. Watch the clip though. It's the only good bit. Poo tits.

**

 

[Stroopy121]

 

Anchorman 2 - Bigger, longer, not as funny.

***

 

Sharknado - You kind of know what you're going to get with this - it's about a tornado full of sharks for fucks sake. It's garbage but in an oddly charming low-budget way. I always expect The Asylum's films to be a bit of a piss-take, like Zombie Strippers or Piranha, lots of funny self-reference, OTT blood and stacked with massive tits and I'm always surprised that they play them off as serious films with none of the above. Absolute horse but I liked it.

***

 

Hudson Hawk - 90s crime film in which Bruce Willis plays a master burglar who gets released from prison and blackmailed into carrying out robberies on behalf of a crime syndicate. It's so fucking weird. It's all slapstick humour, cartoony sound effects, like Who Framed Roger Rabbit or something, except that's an adult film full of swearing. Also they start off with a weird plot device where the characters sing old swing songs while carrying out the robberies, to time themselves. This is actually quite cool and the best bit of the movie, then it gets forgotten about again until right at the very end. It's a mixed up mess, it feels like it was written and directed by four different people completely independent of each other. Watch the clip though. It's the only good bit. Poo tits.

**

 

 

 

 

 

Awwh man, I used to LOVE Hudson Hawk when I was a young'un! I need to watch it again now and see if it really is as bad as it seems watching it as an adult!

 

xx

[Lemonade]

I'm sure I would have loved it when I was kid and I didn't care that the plot made no sense etc. Lots of visual stimulation and there are funny bits.

[Chris]

There's an interesting article on Hudson Hawk at Den Of Geek:

http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/24875/looking-back-at-hudson-hawk

[Lemonade]

There's an interesting article on Hudson Hawk at Den Of Geek:

http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/24875/looking-back-at-hudson-hawk

Good read, thanks for sharing. You tweeted me while I was watching it and said you loved it as a kid, when did you last watch it?

[Chris]

Good read, thanks for sharing. You tweeted me while I was watching it and said you loved it as a kid, when did you last watch it?

 

Probably a couple of years ago. I've certainly seen it more than a couple of times and also have very fond memories of the Ocean game on the Amiga.

[Paranoid Android]

Add me to the Hudson Hawk fan club. It was probably my favourite film for a long time as a child.

[Stroopy121]

Ip Man

 

Kung Fu movie about the man who went on to mentor Bruce Lee - based on a true story but fuck knows how much of it is legit, as with any "based on a true story" movie. Wiki says it's "semi-biographical"... Absolutely brilliant. The fight choreography manages to skip between two totally seperate modes, where there are two Masters sparring, it's really fluid and almost dance-like, but then when it's just some motherfuckers laying the smackdown it gets much rougher and more violent. Feels much more real that a lot of films in the genre. They camerawork is perfect, too. No massively over-used slow-motion shots, but you still manage to catch all the action.

 

They also do a great job of creating really reprehensible villains, you properly want to punch the air when you see a baddie get his head kicked in. It tells a fantastic story, the characters pull you right in and for being subbed, the dialogue also holds up really well - often Chinese dialogue comes out pretty cheesy when it's translated to English, especially in Kung Fu movies!

 

10/10

 

 

Ip Man 2

 

Like the first, but feels more western. Instead of focusing on telling a really involving story, they seem to be trying to scale up the action and the sense of danger. it feels more like watching a Rocky movie. Still a really good movie, but disappointing compared to the first. That said, the story develops well, builds to a pretty good crescendo and the final fight scene is pretty good, too.

 

8/10

 

 

Crocasaurus

 

Shite, and not in a good way. I expected a monster croc the size of a bus, but no, just a slightly-bigger-than-you'd-find-in-the-real-world croc. No tension, bad acting, no comedy relief, and full frontal nudity from pre-teen, hairless Chinese boys. Avoid.

 

0/10

 

 

Nude Nuns With Big Guns

 

A Mexican(?) drug lord uses a convent full of nuns to prepare and mule his drugs around. God speaks to one of them and she starts fucking motherfuckers up. Totally over-the-top, lots of tits and comedy fuck-scenes, great violence and cheese one-liners. Fucking brilliant.

 

9/10

 

xx