Quick Questions

[Little Green]

does the bus go that way?

[Guest]

Yes.

Fucking hell, literally all of your questions could have been answered by google.

[FOX]

Right, I was considering starting a new thread for this but I hope it can be answered easily by paime or anyone else who's been there recently:

What do I need to know before flying to the USA?

I've convinced myself I'll need to tell the immigration officer my life story in order to get past him. Suffice to say I'm a bit nervous.

[Old Gold]

It's a really simple process actually. Fill out the application on this site: https://esta.cbp.dhs.gov/esta/

Being a UK citizen, you shouldn't have any problems.

[FOX]

It's a really simple process actually. Fill out the application on this site: https://esta.cbp.dhs.gov/esta/

Being a UK citizen, you shouldn't have any problems.

Thanks for the reassurance. I've done that already, did so a few weeks ago thankfully. I'm yet to get medical insurance etc.

[Chris]

Being a UK citizen, you shouldn't have any problems.

You say that but my soon to be brother in law got a right grilling when he flew to the US recently. They couldn't understand why he was going to Montana to spend the summer with his girlfriend who had a student placement there.

[FOX]

You say that but my soon to be brother in law got a right grilling when he flew to the US recently. They couldn't understand why he was going to Montana to spend the summer with his girlfriend who had a student placement there.

A friend of mine was kept up in the airport for an hour and a half while they checked he wasn't there illegally. It's that I'm worried about. I have absolutely zero to hide - plus I'm a white male, so that helps me rather, I guess.

[Old Gold]

A friend of mine was kept up in the airport for an hour and a half while they checked he wasn't there illegally. It's that I'm worried about. I have absolutely zero to hide - plus I'm a white male, so that helps me rather, I guess.

You'll more than likely be fine. If it all goes smoothly, it's no different from a trip to any other country. So long as there's no countries ending with 'stan' in your passport.

[Alkaline]

Everyone knows about the time i was briefly a terrorism supsect in Australia right?

[Lemonade]

You'll more than likely be fine. If it all goes smoothly, it's no different from a trip to any other country. So long as there's no countries ending with 'stan' in your passport.

My friend is born and bred Fraserburgh but of Middle Eastern descent. He's travelled all over the world, including several trips to the Middle East to see family. He flew into Miami a couple years ago to meet his long lost sister and got collared by security. They basically saw a foreign looking guy with a Middle Eastern name and a passport full of places like Lebanon, Saudi Arabia and Syria, with a story about being in town to meet a an equally foreign-sounding sister who's address he couldn't provde. That didn't go well for him. He spent several hours in what he dubbed "The Broon Queue" before being grilled by border patrol for half a day. I didn't ask if he got his hoop fingered, but I like to think he did.

[FOX]

Everyone knows about the time i was briefly a terrorism supsect in Australia right?

No! Pray tell?

You'll more than likely be fine. If it all goes smoothly, it's no different from a trip to any other country. So long as there's no countries ending with 'stan' in your passport.

Yeah, I was asking more generally though - like, do I need to take an "invite letter" (I'm attending a Wikipedia conference)?

My friend is born and bred Fraserburgh but of Middle Eastern descent. He's travelled all over the world, including several trips to the Middle East to see family. He flew into Miami a couple years ago to meet his long lost sister and got collared by security. They basically saw a foreign looking guy with a Middle Eastern name and a passport full of places like Lebanon, Saudi Arabia and Syria, with a story about being in town to meet a an equally foreign-sounding sister who's address he couldn't provde. That didn't go well for him. He spent several hours in what he dubbed "The Broon Queue" before being grilled by border patrol for half a day. I didn't ask if he got his hoop fingered, but I like to think he did.

Yeah. I never really think how lucky I am to be white and have a British-sounding name until I start researching border security.

[waltz]

You gonna burn what?

[paime]

Right, I was considering starting a new thread for this but I hope it can be answered easily by paime or anyone else who's been there recently:

What do I need to know before flying to the USA?

I've convinced myself I'll need to tell the immigration officer my life story in order to get past him. Suffice to say I'm a bit nervous.

If its business you're travelling for then its a good idea to have an invite letter. Looks like you've already got your ESTA and you'll be given a blue immigration form on the flight over. They should also give you a white customs form but if they don't, pick one up on the way to the queue. Have your return flight information and address to hand as they'll probably ask for them. Other than that you should be ok.

[Alkaline]

No! Pray tell?

So, i was travelling home from Australia after splitting up with my then girlfriend (so i was a bit down in the dumps) and i'd been sitting in the bit before security in Perth Airport for a bit and lost track of time. I then noticed that there wasn't that long until my flight was due to start boarding so i grabbed my bag and made a dash for security where i sailed through very easily until, whilst putting on my belt, i was approached by a member of security who asked if she could swab my clothes. Not having anything to hide, but still concious of the fact that my flight was due to start boarding, i said that wasn't a problem. So she started swabbing to the max, bunged it in the analysis machine and it went off like i'd just busted into the high security vault in Fort Knox and triggered the alarm. Not a problem she says, all this means is that we'll have to do another two swabs as sometimes we get false positives. By now i'm getting a little stressed out but i'm powerless to object so she does the second swab, no alarm, then the 3rd swab illicits a response similar to the first. So i'm like "what does that mean?" and she politely explains to me that i'll have to follow her through to another room, which i do.

Once in the room i was left on my own for about 5 minutes before two slightly serious looking guys joined me. They explained who they were and that they would need my clothes for analysis so i'd need to empty my pockets on the table and strip off, which i did. They then spent what seemed like an eternity, good cop/bad cop) asking me how long i'd been in Australia, why i was leaving, where i was going etc etc etc until they finally got to the questions about what i'd been doing in Australia while i was there, to which i replied i was on a working visa and travelling around. Sensing that they were looking for a more explicit answer i went through my list of jobs while i was over there (quality conrol for electrolux, fruit picking, tractor driver, farm-hand etc). Once i'd mentioned where i was working the two of them started to look a little uncomfortable and asked me if i'd been working with fertilizers, to which i replied "i dunno, probably, but not directly". I did also mention that i hadn't cleaned my trainers in a few months.

After we'd got that out of the way they softened up a little and told me i'd been held on suspiscion of having been in contact with explosives (nitrates are also found in fertilizers) and that they were sure that it was a case of contact with fertilizers from my farm work but that i'd have to go through the formalities of identifying my bags etc. They then went off to get my clothes (which had yielded nothing particularly sinister).

When they reappeared (after i'd reclothed) they ushered me out of the room where there were two armed security guards waiting for us and i was frog marched through a long series of corridors to a large aircraft hanger with a white line painted about a metre or so from the wall (an area where the scant number of people in the hanger were sticking to). Sitting in the middle, looking rather lonely, on a table was my rucksack. I was walked over there and asked if it was mine, which it was and if i could open it up. Then it dawned on me that i had emptied my pockets on the table in the interrogation room and that they hadn't told me i could take the stuff back so i'd just left it there, including my padlock key for my rucksack. When i told them that rather gingerly one of them held put his hands on his temples in a "for fucks sake" kind of way and through gritted teeth conceded that it would be ok to just run my bag through the scanner again.

They dispensed with the guards and took me back to the room for my things, gave me a half-arsed apology and bid me farewell. By now my flight had been held up by around 45 minutes, and i sheepishly joined the agitated masses at the gate overhearing mumblings of "i saw some bags being taken off" etc etc.

The whole flight to Kuala Lumpur i was shitting myself that the plane was going to explode and i'd get the blame with my passport photo (where i look like i've just sloped out of an eastern eurpoean gulag- skin-head/goatee beard) would be that last my folks and friends would see of me. Thinking my ordeal was over when we started the descent into KL Airport we were reminded over the intercom that drug smuggling in Malaysia is punishable by death and that the authorities would be doing random searches on passangers on my flight. I think at that point i must've looked like i'd just found out that my mum was my dad.

I left the aircraft and started making my way through the arrivals section where we were greeted by a selection of malaysian men and women in face-masks and rubber gloves ushering randoms into a cordoned off toilet for "searches". By this point i was sweating buckets and my arse was involuntarily going 50p>20p>50p at a rate of knots. I slowed pace and started walking beside another guy who made some throw-away quip about bum-searches as we approached the group of "bum-searchers". My heart was racing, i made eye contact with the first masked rectum invader who thankfully collared the bum-joker and i was on my way to freedom.

I ran like the wind to catch my connecting flight to Manchester and had more than a few drinks on the flight home to steady my nerves.

Moral of the story. Make sure you clean your shoes.

[FOX]

Probably serves you right for no cleaning your trousers mate!

[Alkaline]

Probably serves you right for no cleaning your trousers mate!

My trousers were clean, it was my shoes that were a bit grubby.

[FOX]

My trousers were clean, it was my shoes that were a bit grubby.

My mistake, I was trying to type "trainers". Soz.

[Old Gold]

Gap year wanker!

[Guest Bob Knob]

To be fair, I know I've got nothing to hide. So, If I was passing through immigration in another country and got held up for being suspect, I'd be like "go ahead and raid my knot".

[Graham Knight]

Right, I was considering starting a new thread for this but I hope it can be answered easily by paime or anyone else who's been there recently:

What do I need to know before flying to the USA?

I've convinced myself I'll need to tell the immigration officer my life story in order to get past him. Suffice to say I'm a bit nervous.

Ensure your Passport is clean. They have a propensity for "swabbing" passports. Always give a friendly pat on the head to any security dogs. Carry credit cards and money and assure them you love Australia and will definitely return there.

The old entry forms were much more fun:

Please answer YES or NO:

A Do you have a communicable disease, physical or mental disorder, or are you a drug abuser or addict ?

B Have you ever been arrested or convicted for an offense or crime involving moral turpitude or a violation related to a controlled substance; or have been arrested or convicted for two or more offenses for which the aggregate sentance to confinement was five years or more; or have been a controlled substance trafficker; or are you seeking entry to engage in criminal or immoral activities ?

C Have you ever been or are you now involved in espionage or sabotage; or in terrorist activities; or genocide; or between 1933 and 1945 were you involved; in any way in persecutions associated with Nazi Germany or its allies ?

D Are you seeking to work in the U.S.; or have you ever been excluded and deported; or have been previously removed from the United States; or procured or attempted to procure a visa or entry into the U.S. by fraud or by misrepresentation ?

E Have you ever detained, retained or witheld custody of a child from a U.S. citizen granted custody of the child ?

F Have you ever been denied a U.S. visa or entry into the U.S. or had a U.S. visa canceled? If yes; when and where ?

G Have you ever asserted immunity from prosecution ?

The above used to be on form 94W that they handed to you on your flight over and you had to give it to the immigration officer - of course you would have been nuts to answer YES to anything.

I once travelled with a UK musican who got a bit drunk on the long flight to Los Angeles and wrote hilarious answers on the form in the green ink he always used to sign autographs.

Amongst his replies were: not sure about moral turpitude etc but as it is a 4 week tour I'll be up for anything. Can't see me getting through a month without some chemicals and a shag or two. Was born too late for WWII but got thrown out of Germany for saying my father was Hitler (note. Not true was a joke).

I got him another form and left the other one on the plane.

Take care Mr Fox America can be a strange place. Try your best to avoid the "one finger wave". Don't mention that you post here as they will take one look at Aerdeen Music and immediately realise you are crazy - no more questions!

I once had my Cuban heeled boots x-rayed. "A few minutes of your time Sir helps prevent drug abuse in America" said the official when he handed them back.

[FOX]

That's mental. A lot of American forms were just "yes or no" with one of the answers just being a ticket to more trouble.

I won't mention Ab-mus, goodness, I'm not insane! Honest!

[maud 'dib]

So, I'm shopping for an external hard drive, I want one that I can just leave plugged straight into the telly via USB and it'll recognise it and I can play all my movies (porn) that way. The one I have just now doesn't do that, I need to take the stuff (porn) off the hard drive and put it on to a little 2Gb stick and watch it (the porn) that way. It doesnt' work in my TV, Xbox or DVD so it's probably down to the drive as opposed to the telly. What does a hard drive need to have to be able to do that?

I got a Cyclone media drive off e-bay a couple of years ago for watching films. It was a bit glitchy codec wise- it would play xvid and divx but was picky about what films it would play. It wouldnae play FLV stuff and didnae like m-pegs. I ended up getting a cheap desktop from e-bay (50 buck) and jamming it under the tv. It works much better. I know you can get little gadgets from Maplin that connect to yer tv and too your hard drive- media extenders I think they are called.

something like this gadget:

It's pointless now, all I get to watch is kids programmes. nae nazi dog-porn for me now. sad.

[paime]

I'm watching the England vs Ukraine football match just now. What's the relevance of the France Sweden score? The tv is somehow also keeping me up to date with it.

[Spoonie]

They were in the same group, so the outcomes of the two games would determine who progressed to the next round

[neepheid]

I believe the question is posed because of this stupid "head to head record" stuff trumping goal difference. Confusing and alienating. If I heard the term "mini-league" one more time on Monday night I think I might have put the telly off. Can we not just reward goals AND good defending by doing it the same way we've always done it? While watching the climax of Group C there was a time when Italy would have gone through as group winners with the worst goal difference - it just annoys me.