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Simpsons Quotes


Soda Jerk

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"I haven't felt this way since Funky Town"

South Park is sooooooo superior right now though*, the Stan shift they are going through is brave stuff, though all might be back to normal by next week.

When I heard the recent announcement that the Simpsons might be on the way out, I just thought it's about time probably. It's been great

but isn't now, even at 60% efficacy it outstrips most things, but that isn't good enough, it should be civilisation defining stuff, not old crap about fads.

* Possibly because it too is on/nearing the Home Straight and wants to maintain it's bite to the end.

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Homer : Am I turning you on ?

Marge : No.

Homer : What if I undo this button ?

Marge : Goodnight, Homer.

Homer : (changes voice) What if I talk like this ?

Marge : (no response)

Homer : What if I sing to you ? I gave my love a chicken, it had no bones. Mmm, chicken.

Marge: I have an idea.

Homer: What!? What's your idea?!

Marge: Well, when my dad was trying to get my mom's attention, he sent her a box of candy with his photo in it. After than, she never forgot him.

Homer: That's all well and good, but it's not really your idea, is it now Marge?

Marge: Homey, are you really going to ignore Grampa for the rest of your life?

Homer: Of course not, Marge, just for the rest of his life. He said I was an accident...he didn't want to have me.

Marge: You didn't want to have Bart.

Homer: I know, but you're never supposed to tell the child.

Marge: You tell Bart all the time! You told him this morning

Tatum: Hello I'm heavyweight champ Drederick Tatum. Here to issue a challenge to the youth groups of Springfield. Whichever one of you sells the most candy will be honorary bad boys at the next isotopes home game. Proceeds will go towards keeping people like me off streets. I can't help myself. Punch and grope, punch and grope, it's all I was taught.

Todd: Daddy I'm scared!

Ned: Scared of what? All the funny camp songs we're gonna sing? We'll be safe inside our fortress when they come. We'll be safe from creeps and killers when they come. Unless they have a blowtorch or a poison gas injector then I don't know what will happen when they come.

Bart: Please don't call our parents.

Chief Wiggum: I'm afraid I have to for hijinks like these. Hehe. Hijinks. Funny word. Three dotted letters in a row.

Eddie: Is it hyphenated?

Chief Wiggum: It used to be. Back in the bad old days. Of course every generation hyphenates the way it wants to. Then there's N'Sync. Heh. What the hell is that. Jump in any time, Eddie, these are good topics.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Marge: You are not a god!

Homer: I am a god!

Lisa: Then when's mom's birthday?

Homer: Uh, Janu...Febu...Mar...

Marge: It's May!

Homer: Right. May fir...sec...thir...

(The guy who plays MacGyver is kidnapped by Patty and Selma, and he plays out some sort of escape experiments)

Richard Dean Anderson: I've come up with another escape. I want you to tie me up and lock me in the trunk of your car, under the pier at low tide. All I need are these everyday objects — a toothpick, some liquor, a gun with no bullets, bullets, and three of my MacGyver writers.

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"English side ruined. Must! Use! French! Instructions! Le Grill?! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"

I genuinely had "Le Grill?! What the hell is that?!" going round and round my head on the bus home from work earlier.

If in doubt: "How come you get a social worker? I'm the one with stigmata!"

Good old Milhouse.

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also chuckled heartily when skinner and chalmers jumped into his car and he is looking for his keys, then bart appears sitting on the bonnet twirling a set of keys on his finger...

Bart: ' Looking for something?'

Skinner: 'Yes, my car keys'

Bart: ' Do they look anything like this?'

Skinner: ' Yes, quite a lot like that actually'

Chalmers: Facepalmed and shaking his head ' Seymour he has your keys.......'

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also chuckled heartily when skinner and chalmers jumped into his car and he is looking for his keys, then bart appears sitting on the bonnet twirling a set of keys on his finger...

Bart: ' Looking for something?'

Skinner: 'Yes, my car keys'

Bart: ' Do they look anything like this?'

Skinner: ' Yes, quite a lot like that actually'

Chalmers: Facepalmed and shaking his head ' Seymour he has your keys.......'

I didn't find that funny. I found that's something that Peter Griffin would do. I mean, Homer isn't even that stupid, he'd just get angry. Wasn't right for a Skinner moment.

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