Pet Hates!

[Guest idol_wild]

You're all wrong. A proper clever cat wouldn't need to go outside. That's what the bathroom is for.

I dunno, like. I usually use a bathroom to have baths.

[Guest Gladstone]

I dunno, like. I usually use a bathroom to have baths.

You telling me you don't shit in the bath?

[Guest idol_wild]

You telling me you don't shit in the bath?

I tried it once, but when I rinsed the bath, the shit just clogged up the drain.

FML.

[Chris]

You're all wrong. A proper clever cat wouldn't need to go outside. That's what the bathroom is for.

http://www.litterkwitter.com.au/

[Lemonade]

Having to drive to Glasgow at 6.30am on a Saturday to go to the passport office. Rat's cocks.

[Skubbs]

That really is a pet hate. Like it.

My mum had this little trick of filling up empty plastic drinks bottles (with all labels removed) with water, and partially inserting them upside down into the soil. Apparently, when a cat catches the distorted reflection of itself on the bottle, it shits an absolute egg roll (not literally) and runs away.

One of my neighbours from years ago put down that carpet edging stuff (fuck knows what it's called, it's a strip of wood with nails pointing up) on the bit that the cat kept shitting on and it never came back... but that is cruel.

Yeah the whole americano thing, but it's annoying when they're so specific about every other drink on that order except the most simple one... and it's not that big a decision, wow cold milk to cool it down or hot milk to keep it warmer for longer? What annoys me is the fact it takes so long to decide, not just the "oh that's a novel idea, hmm" it's the really long drawn out "uummmmmmmmm" which goes on for too long.

This is the pet hates thread and that is genuinely something that irritates the hell out of me; people not listening and not making their mind up,, so I apologise for posting a fucking pet hate.

[Guest idol_wild]

I just got talked at for almost quarter of an hour about mortgages and interest rates, repayments, and all that shit.

This became a pet hate almost thirty seconds into the one-way conversation. But the biggest pet hate is when people are unable to recognise from facial expression/glazed eyes that I just don't actually give two shakes of a simian's rumpled foreskin about what they are talking about. To continue to talk about it is just rude. A very important social attribute is to recognise when your chat is unwanted and below par. It's something that I do - if someone looks uninterested in what I'm saying, I stop saying it.

Why the fuck did he not recognise from my facial expression that I was:

a) Clueless about mortgages - I will never ever have one, as I will never ever earn enough money for one.

b) Completely uninterested in his fucking mortgage.

I think I work with some seriously desperate and lonely people. They seem to revel in sitting and talking at me for ages about their inane, trite and, essentially empty, lives.

The only goal in their lives seems to be advancing up the bereaucracy so they can boast about what level they are at.

Yet strangely, I quite like them all. Maybe this says more about me.

[Lemonade]

One of my neighbours from years ago put down that carpet edging stuff (fuck knows what it's called, it's a strip of wood with nails pointing up) on the bit that the cat kept shitting on and it never came back... but that is cruel.

Yeah the whole americano thing, but it's annoying when they're so specific about every other drink on that order except the most simple one... and it's not that big a decision, wow cold milk to cool it down or hot milk to keep it warmer for longer? What annoys me is the fact it takes so long to decide, not just the "oh that's a novel idea, hmm" it's the really long drawn out "uummmmmmmmm" which goes on for too long.

This is the pet hates thread and that is genuinely something that irritates the hell out of me; people not listening and not making their mind up,, so I apologise for posting a fucking pet hate.

Good to have you back I'm going to come in for a coffee tomorrow and order something really annoying. Like an extra hot latt with extra cold milk or something. And I'm going to use the terms "Big" and "Small". And every time you ask me a question I'm going to take 20 seconds to answer it. And if you offer me a fucking cookie or a croissant that I don't want I'll tell you to fuck off. So be warned.

[Soda Jerk]

One of my neighbours from years ago put down that carpet edging stuff (fuck knows what it's called, it's a strip of wood with nails pointing up) on the bit that the cat kept shitting on and it never came back... but that is cruel.

I dunno. I wouldn't have a shit where there were nails trying to prevent me from shitting. The cat is just adhering good common sense. Clever mog.

[britheguy]

Not a pet hate, more of a rant.

Went to Star$'s today and got served my coffee in paper cups. The guy said it was because a lot of cups gets stolen. I noticed that most, if not all, the other patrons had the proper mugs....wtf!!!!

[Murrr]

The last few pages of this thread have been very pleasing. I proper hate cats, me. Can't stand the fluffy little fuckers. Me and my old flatmates were fannying around on the internet one night when we stumbled across this pearl:-

Holy fuckshovel, what a din it made. I'm not really sure why we bought it ("bye bye, pussy!" is one helluva marketing slogan, admittedly), but it proved its worth a couple of years later. Our dilemma was much like Plinth's. The nightbours bought a cat and it decided that our front garden was prime shitting territory, so I dig the thing out of a box in the garage, and BAM. Horrible little fucker disappears into the night, never to return. Bye bye pussy indeed.

Fuck cats. Gimme a dog any day. I want a pet that's friendly and affectionate, not one that sits on the top of the cupboard and stares at me with pity. Smug little bellends. Every cat I've attempted to pet has lashed out at me, too. The text one's getting a People's Elbow. That'll learn 'em. No feline fucker messes with the Murrr.

[Murrr]

Actually, you know who can fuck off? Ray Winstone. Guy's a pretty swell actor and I like a lot of films his been in, but fuck me, that Bet 385 advert is attrocious. It wouldn't be so bad if it was only on every now and then, but no, I can't turn on a sports channel without having to endure Big Ray and his trite Cockney Wideboy 101 routine. Like, "awright geeeeez! 'eres the fackin' odds on Tony fackin' Hibbert gettin' a fackin' throw-in 17.5 yards from the byline against Northwich Victoria in the fackin' FA Cup in the next 20 minutes. It's all abaaaaaht the inplay!".

Who the fuck wants bet on shit like throw-ins and corners? Sofa-dwelling gambling addict wasters, that's who. Piss off with this bullshit. Goals? Aye. Winner? Fine. Goalscorers? Sure, but fuck off with the rest. Also, Ray, come on. The "OOGA FACKIN' BOOGA" routine was alright at first, but make a film or something, eh? We get it, you're from LANDAN. Well done: so is Shane Ritchie, and he's a fucking arsehole.

[waltz]

Actually, you know who can fuck off? Ray Winstone. Guy's a pretty swell actor and I like a lot of films his been in, but fuck me, that Bet 385 advert is attrocious. It wouldn't be so bad if it was only on every now and then, but no, I can't turn on a sports channel without having to endure Big Ray and his trite Cockney Wideboy 101 routine. Like, "awright geeeeez! 'eres the fackin' odds on Tony fackin' Hibbert gettin' a fackin' throw-in 17.5 yards from the byline against Northwich Victoria in the fackin' FA Cup in the next 20 minutes. It's all abaaaaaht the inplay!".

Who the fuck wants bet on shit like throw-ins and corners? Sofa-dwelling gambling addict wasters, that's who. Piss off with this bullshit. Goals? Aye. Winner? Fine. Goalscorers? Sure, but fuck off with the rest. Also, Ray, come on. The "OOGA FACKIN' BOOGA" routine was alright at first, but make a film or something, eh? We get it, you're from LANDAN. Well done: so is Shane Ritchie, and he's a fucking arsehole.

Brilliant rant. Couldn't agree more.

[Teabags]

Fucking Pornhub mobile throwing a fucking strop every now and then and slowing down the buffeting speed. The video play position eventually captures up to the buffer position, which makes the video pause for a second before playing at triple speed for a few more seconds then simply stopping. Always seems to happens when I'm right at the vinegar strokes which just puts a downer on my whole fucking day. Yes, I appreciate the convenience of good quality smut direct to my phone, and sometimes your choice of squirt scenes is of the highest quality. But sort the buffer speed out. You're basically letting me fuck you but not letting me feel your tits. That's just mean.

[TelecasterSam]

Fucking Pornhub mobile throwing a fucking strop every now and then and slowing down the buffeting speed. The video play position eventually captures up to the buffer position, which makes the video pause for a second before playing at triple speed for a few more seconds then simply stopping. Always seems to happens when I'm right at the vinegar strokes which just puts a downer on my whole fucking day. Yes, I appreciate the convenience of good quality smut direct to my phone, and sometimes your choice of squirt scenes is of the highest quality. But sort the buffer speed out. You're basically letting me fuck you but not letting me feel your tits. That's just mean.

a much better rant imo......

but,,,damn.... "I must spread....etc etc...."

[TR!ΔNGL€ T€€TH]

People have had similar complaints to this, but the tedious fucking conversations that occur at work. Usually I just block them out as I couldn't give a fuck about what was on ITV2 last night, but when my work colleagues get onto the topic of dieting/food it goes on UNTIL THE END OF FUCKING TIME. Talking about what they can eat, what they can't eat, what they would like to eat, how much weight they've lost, how much weight they've not lost, chocolate, cake, how they can't eat bread... There isn't much variation either, so it's like a fucking looped record. This combined with also trying to block out Northsound 1 or Radio 1 (BBC6 seemed to be a bit too crazy for everyone else due to it not constantly playing wank from the 80's of fucking Lady Gaga) means that being in the presence of this conversation is akin to Chinese water torture.

[Scootray]

Stubbing my toe at football. Again.

I don't even toepoke the bloody football, it just happens. I've kicked my own foot before and done it. Fucking idiot.

[Guest Gladstone]

Pretty unoriginal, but it's quite new for me. Mondays. I just fucking hate Mondays these days.

I think Fridays and Mondays should just be part of the weekend. Get paid the same amount of money to work Tuesday-Thursday. That's how it should be.

If you're an old bastard like me, a couple of days of drinking at a festival, or drinking at a wedding or at a stag weekend or anything similar and you're still completely fucked on Monday. I should probably just stop drinking and then Mondays may not seem so shit, but I'd rather have a 4-day weekend.

Right. I didn't drink this weekend at all. I don't feel like shit today. But I still cannot be arsed with work.

4 day weekends need to be made law.

Fuck working on Mondays.

I'm going to write to the BBC or something.

[delboy]

Tony fucking Blair and his fucking memoirs being everywhere right now....

Much as I love the work of the Winstone, I have to agree those betting ads are extremely irritating!

[Bigsby]

Following on from the discussion earlier, people being afraid to use the word "toilet".

It was bad enough that everyone was copying the Americans by saying "I have to go to the bathroom" when they needed a shit or a dump, but now the shops actually sell bathroom tissue.

[Guest Gladstone]

Following on from the discussion earlier, people being afraid to use the word "toilet".

It was bad enough that everyone was copying the Americans by saying "I have to go to the bathroom" when they needed a shit or a dump, but now the shops actually sell bathroom tissue.

Everyone knows that "bathroom tissue" should be known as "shit roll". If there was one brand of toilet paper that actually called it shit roll, I would buy that everytime, regardless of how much it cost.

[Gypsum_Fantastic]

"Shit Wrap" is my preferred term

[Soda Jerk]

I like Bog Roll. It is dated, but it is fun to say. Actual names for all things toilet-related are no fun. Like when someone calls a toilet a WC, or the sink a Wash Hand Basin. Absolute rubbish.

[Lemonade]

I went to view a flat a couple years ago in Garthdee, the description of it on the estate agent's website advertisied it as having a downstairs "cloak room". I was quite excited to see what a cloak room was, thinking it was somewhere I could hang my cloak and top hat, like a Victorian gent. Disappointingly it was just a cupboard with a toilet and a sink in it. Boooooooooo.

[Lemonade]

Billy Dodds on Sportsound. What an argumentative little wankbag. I wish he'd shut up and let other people talk.