Monster Zero Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 That really is a pet hate. Like it.My mum had this little trick of filling up empty plastic drinks bottles (with all labels removed) with water, and partially inserting them upside down into the soil. Apparently, when a cat catches the distorted reflection of itself on the bottle, it shits an absolute egg roll (not literally) and runs away.A house round the corner from me had a CD inserted in a flower bed which I always found a tad weird but that must be the reason. I could try that actually, Ive got loads of free CDs I dont want knocking about the house just now. Its the shitting in the grass that is the main issue. Ive had problems with some strange type of weed that is growing in the lawn and so have been treating it with stuff that kills the weeds but makes the grass grow like fuck. This is compounded by the endless cycle of sunshine/pissing rain we seem to have. Opportunities are slim to get the grass cut so it keeps getting a bit long and Im assuming the cat likes shitting in long grass and hiding it as I never see any cat shit on the lawn when it is short. My main concern is my 3 year old son or his friends coming into contact with it and catching something nasty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 You could get your own cat. It'll mark the garden as it's own territory and other cats won't go into it unless they fancy a fight. Or get a dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 From working customer service for what has felt like a lifetime (gladly over for now) She's not being unreasonable or a moany cow for the sake of it. You get maid to ask stupid questions and people are clueless, not always there fault like maybe Captain America's example. It can get ridiculous though. People expect folk on tills to wipe their arse for them too so it's easy to just not want to help and lose your patience.Nobody else noticed it, but don't worry JohnW, you're hilarious pun wasn't lost on me... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodsinho Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 Nobody else noticed it, but don't worry JohnW, you're hilarious pun wasn't lost on me...That wasn't a pun, John actually has a maid who he forces to ask incongruous questions to strangers to confuse them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Zero Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 You could get your own cat. It'll mark the garden as it's own territory and other cats won't go into it unless they fancy a fight. Or get a dog.Great idea, pity I want neither.Apparently a diluted solution of lion shit is a great remedy. Anyone got a lion? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 Great idea, pity I want neither.Apparently a diluted solution of lion shit is a great remedy. Anyone got a lion?You could ask that giraffe that's been hanging around Union Square. He's bound to know a lion. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Easy Wishes Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 I noticed, was going to post a picture of a French maid but thought twice about performing that image search at work... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 I noticed, was going to post a picture of a French maid but thought twice about performing that image search at work...Hmmm, you have to be careful what you search. I was trying to remember the name of an old Feeder song once, that me and my mate used to always play on the jukebox in New Deer pub...The Singles album had just came out, and I was about to search "Feeder Singles", and then realised what I was away to search for just before I hit search, thankfully.Cool story bro, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 The remedy to your cat problem is a nail gun. But cats are quick, so you'll need to up your accuracy. In the meantime, you could upload a video montage of you gradually getting better at shooting a nail gun to Youtube. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest idol_wild Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 The remedy to your cat problem is a nail gun. But cats are quick, so you'll need to up your accuracy. In the meantime, you could upload a video montage of you gradually getting better at shooting a nail gun to Youtube.I would subscribe to these videos. Especially if the very final video is of a cat being successfully nail-gunned. Whilst shitting.I fucking hate cats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Zero Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 The remedy to your cat problem is a nail gun. But cats are quick, so you'll need to up your accuracy. In the meantime, you could upload a video montage of you gradually getting better at shooting a nail gun to Youtube.Christ with the furore from that wifie putting a cat in a wheelie bin imagine my fate...it would be like Olly Reed at the end of 'The Devils'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gypsum_Fantastic Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 ...pissed? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Zero Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 I would subscribe to these videos. Especially if the very final video is of a cat being successfully nail-gunned. Whilst shitting.I fucking hate cats.I have now purchased an ultrasonic deterrent. It cost me fucking 70 quid. I now really, really hate cats. At least the one that shits in my garden. I'm sure its the one that looks like Hitler. Which makes sense. Hitler probably shit in people's gardens when they displeased him. The ginger one next door is cool, he just sunbathes in my front garden and has never ever shit there. Or at least if he does he's very good at hiding it. Like a gravedigger or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 I would subscribe to these videos. Especially if the very final video is of a cat being successfully nail-gunned. Whilst shitting.I fucking hate cats.Majestic scenario. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Easy Wishes Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 I have now purchased an ultrasonic deterrent. It cost me fucking 70 quid. I now really, really hate cats. Strap it to its back and then switch it on. That'll teach it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Zero Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 ...pissed?Quite possibly. But in the context of the film, he had all his hair shaved off, got his legs broken and was burned alive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Zero Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 The cat in question is pretty elusive. I thought the spray on top of the fence had worked because I had not seen any sign of a cat in the garden since I used it. But 2 piles off poo in the grass and some in the flower bed suggests it has been on some raiding missions, most likely under cover of darkness. It's like the Andy McNab of the cat world. Next it will be writing knowledgable black ops commentary on the fate of wheelie bin wifie in The Sun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 The cat in question is pretty elusive. I thought the spray on top of the fence had worked because I had not seen any sign of a cat in the garden since I used it. But 2 piles off poo in the grass and some in the flower bed suggests it has been on some raiding missions, most likely under cover of darkness. It's like the Andy McNab of the cat world. Next it will be writing knowledgable black ops commentary on the fate of wheelie bin wifie in The Sun.Na - cats are clever. The little fucker probably took a shit in your neighbour's garden and threw it over the fence/hedge just to piss you off for spraying that stuff in your garden that he doesn't like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Zero Posted August 31, 2010 Report Share Posted August 31, 2010 Na - cats are clever. The little fucker probably took a shit in your neighbour's garden and threw it over the fence/hedge just to piss you off for spraying that stuff in your garden that he doesn't like.Cats are lazy as fuck. Probably built some sort of catapult device. Or made some of the neighborhood younger cats do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britheguy Posted September 1, 2010 Report Share Posted September 1, 2010 We had a very clever cat once. It would go to the door and sit to get out. Once outside it would go the the bottom of the garden, dig a hole, have a shit and then cover it up again.....very very smart cat that one....unbelievable!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest idol_wild Posted September 2, 2010 Report Share Posted September 2, 2010 We had a very clever cat once. It would go to the door and sit to get out. Once outside it would go the the bottom of the garden, dig a hole, have a shit and then cover it up again.....very very smart cat that one....unbelievable!!That's a lot of effort for one measely dump.Not such a clever cat. A clever cat would nonchalantly strut halfway down the path, stop, roll out the toaldy, saunter back into the house and then, composed and unconcerned, glance at you with a look that says: "Yeah, you're picking that bad boy up, mate." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Easy Wishes Posted September 2, 2010 Report Share Posted September 2, 2010 Alternatively it would head over to Plinth's garden, do his business there then come back to you all shitted and clean. Clever cat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britheguy Posted September 2, 2010 Report Share Posted September 2, 2010 .Not such a clever cat."Not such a clever cat"!!........how many other cats have you seen digging a hole with a shovel? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest idol_wild Posted September 2, 2010 Report Share Posted September 2, 2010 "Not such a clever cat"!!........how many other cats have you seen digging a hole with a shovel?I thought they all did that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted September 2, 2010 Report Share Posted September 2, 2010 You're all wrong. A proper clever cat wouldn't need to go outside. That's what the bathroom is for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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