Guest Gladstone Posted September 6, 2010 Report Share Posted September 6, 2010 Just remembered. The cunt that was co-commentating on Scotland's match on Friday - it was John Robertson (momentary lapse there).How many fucking times did he utter the phrase:"All we're lacking is a goal. That piece of magic. We've played really well. Been composed at the back, been in control of the midfield, kept the ball. All we're lacking is that piece of magic, that goal."Just. Stop. Talking.Go and eat a fucking pie or something you fat bastard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted September 6, 2010 Report Share Posted September 6, 2010 I went to view a flat a couple years ago in Garthdee, the description of it on the estate agent's website advertisied it as having a downstairs "cloak room". I was quite excited to see what a cloak room was, thinking it was somewhere I could hang my cloak and top hat, like a Victorian gent. Disappointingly it was just a cupboard with a toilet and a sink in it. Boooooooooo.I thought a cloak room was a little cupboard with a bunch of coat hooks? I remember looking at houses in Leeds, and was told one of the houses had a 'pantry'. I have no idea what a pantry is, but that also turned out to be a downstairs toilet. All these mystery house rooms just turn out to be toilets. What a hoax. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted September 6, 2010 Report Share Posted September 6, 2010 I thought a cloak room was a little cupboard with a bunch of coat hooks? I remember looking at houses in Leeds, and was told one of the houses had a 'pantry'. I have no idea what a pantry is, but that also turned out to be a downstairs toilet. All these mystery house rooms just turn out to be toilets. What a hoax.A pantry is where you stock food isn't it? I have a pantry in my house, but I call it the "big cupboard".And calling a toilet a cloakroom is ridiculous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted September 6, 2010 Report Share Posted September 6, 2010 They're just making it up. They'll probably tell you a house has an upstairs kitchen, but it'll just be the fucking toilet again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest idol_wild Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 A new one:When people consistently type "wander" when they mean fucking "wonder".It's not fucking hard, kids. At all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 fucking kids hard.Weirdo... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest idol_wild Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 Weirdo...It'd only be weird if it was in the Ace-ic thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkaline Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 It'd only be weird if it was in the Ace-ic thread.Whereas here it just makes it sound like a chore... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 Being ill. Boooooo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Easy Wishes Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 A new one:When people consistently type "wander" when they mean fucking "wonder".Yes!I'm sure it's been said here before (perhaps even by me) but "loose" as in, "your mother's vagina was so loose last night", is not the same as "lose" as in, "I wish I didn't have to lose my virginity to your mother because it was the worst experience of my life. She had a good time though, obviously." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 Being ill. Boooooo.Man up.That's another pet hate, people who say man up all the time. Fuck off, if I want to feel like shit let me.I had a load of driving pet hates this morning. Everyone seemed to be treating rush hour as a chance to have a 40mph cruise in the country, I did an ill advised overtake that resulted in that fucking awful feeling you get when you realise it's going to be a bit tight getting in front of the car you're passing before the car coming the other way gets to you and to round of a great commute some fucknugget in a lorry decide to sit in the middle of the road at Leggart Terrace. Meaning he blocked both lanes of the queue and those of us behind him who were waiting in the left hand lane, which is the quicker of the two, had to sit in fury while staring at a clear run to the Bridge of Dee roundabout 200 yards ahead while we patiently waited for the dickhead in the big blue lorry to slowly coast along in the slow right hand queue. Cunt. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 Men aren't allowed to feel like shit though. It makes you a woman. Just like being cold and/or wet. This obviously shouldn't bother you, infact you should relish in the feeling, otherwise you are a woman. I had a headache at work once. I asked my colleague if they had any paracetamol. I was told to "man up". Men should feel no pain, or not be hindered by pain. Men laugh in the face of pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodsinho Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 My big toe is really sore after knacking it playing football on Sunday. I'm not laughing, it's rubbish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 Men aren't allowed to feel like shit though. It makes you a woman. Just like being cold and/or wet. This obviously shouldn't bother you, infact you should relish in the feeling, otherwise you are a woman. I had a headache at work once. I asked my colleague if they had any paracetamol. I was told to "man up". Men should feel no pain, or not be hindered by pain. Men laugh in the face of pain.Yet, women always claim that men are much worse at dealing with illness than women. Bullshit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 Women apparently have a higher threshold for pain too. My mum once cried when she stumped her toe. When I stump my toe, I bellow with laughter and yell "I love doing that!", so everyone knows I'm so manly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 Women apparently have a higher threshold for pain too. My mum once cried when she stumped her toe. When I stump my toe, I bellow with laughter and yell "I love doing that!", so everyone knows I'm so manly.There is no way that women have a higher threshold for pain than men. Absolutely no way. If any women out there wants to disagree, we can put it to the test. I get to punch you as hard as I can in the face, and you can do the same to me. First one to cry loses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 I get to punch you as hard as I can in the face, and you can do the same to me. First one to cry loses.*fap* *fap* *fap* *fap* *fap* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 The doctor thinks I have glandular fever. Waiting for blood test results. I certainly will not be manning up though. I never get sick, so when I do, I plan to make the most of it and spend a week curled up on the sofa feeling sorry for myself and eating sugary doughnuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 The doctor thinks I have glandular fever. Waiting for blood test results. I certainly will not be manning up though. I never get sick, so when I do, I plan to make the most of it and spend a week curled up on the sofa feeling sorry for myself and eating sugary doughnuts.Glandular fever is shite. I had it about 5 years ago and it does knock you for 6.That's a proper illness though - none of this "I've got flu" shit when you've got a runny nose.If you're going to be ill, it has to be glandular fever, tonsilitis, sinusitis, bronchitis or something similar. Fucking hell - I've had all of those in my lifetime. Not been properly ill for years though, and long may it continue. I was feeling a bit shitty last week with the beginnings of a cold, but I shrugged the fucker off in a couple of days like a real man does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 I thought a cloak room was a little cupboard with a bunch of coat hooks? I remember looking at houses in Leeds, and was told one of the houses had a 'pantry'. I have no idea what a pantry is, but that also turned out to be a downstairs toilet. All these mystery house rooms just turn out to be toilets. What a hoax.This conversation loosely reminded me of I just bought a 2-bedroom house, but I think I get to decide how many bedrooms there are, don't you? "Fuck you, real estate lady! This bedroom has an oven in it! This bedroom's got a lot of people sitting around watching TV. This bedroom's over in that guy's house! Sir, you have one of my bedrooms, are you aware? Don't decorate it!"- Mitch Hedberg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 Glandular fever is shite. I had it about 5 years ago and it does knock you for 6.That's a proper illness though - none of this "I've got flu" shit when you've got a runny nose.If you're going to be ill, it has to be glandular fever, tonsilitis, sinusitis, bronchitis or something similar. Fucking hell - I've had all of those in my lifetime. Not been properly ill for years though, and long may it continue. I was feeling a bit shitty last week with the beginnings of a cold, but I shrugged the fucker off in a couple of days like a real man does.Actual Flu really is a stinker however. I had Flu once, when I was 17. I could barely move. I couldn't even eat properly, and I fucking love eating. It's been diluted by those who think a bad cold is the Flu. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 A new one:When people consistently type "wander" when they mean fucking "wonder".It's not fucking hard, kids. At all.Del Shannon is to blame for this common error. Lyrics from his number 1 hit "Runaway":And I wonder--I wah-wah-wah-wah-wonder,Why,Why, why, why, why, why she ran away,Yes, and I wonder,A-where she will stay-ay,My little runaway,Run, run, run, run, runaway.Should have been "woh-woh-woh-woh-wonder" Related to the above, I hate when you're trying to find lyrics to copy and paste onto the internet and you get a pop-up window asking you if you want to download the ringtone to your 'cell'. Of course I fucking don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 Actual Flu really is a stinker however. I had Flu once, when I was 17. I could barely move. I couldn't even eat properly, and I fucking love eating. It's been diluted by those who think a bad cold is the Flu.Abso-fucking-lutely.I had proper flu once when I was 13, right before Xmas. Me, my mum, and brother all had proper flu on Xmas day, although mine had somewhat subsided by then.Real flu is a cunt. Sinusitis was worse though, but only for about half a day until the medication kicked in. I was fucking hallucinating and everything with sinusitis (before I got any medication). Some cool fucking dreams were had that night.EDIT: Aimed at JohnW. Taking a day or two off work for a cold is completely gay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted September 7, 2010 Report Share Posted September 7, 2010 Taking a day or two off work for a cold is completely gay.People that turn up at work when they're ill like they're some kind of motherfucking hero and proceed to infect me with their germs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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