Scootray Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 I aced 3 of them and failed maths by half a mark, so I get a resit within six weeks. I'm not the greatest fan of maths it has to be said but half a mark was a kick in the nuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 A few guys I know have applied for the police a several times and messed up on the tests, they're not the brightest bunch so that might be why, but you only get 3 tries don't you? One decided after he'd failed the second time to get a job doing something else for a while and leave it a year.With his Enoch Powell-like views I'm sure John W will be Commissioner of the Met before too long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
framheim Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 Just occurred to me... you know exactly how much money i have every month, how much i make and spend.... hmmi know that about many people, doesn't mean anything though. i wouldn't keep my job very long if i went around telling people confidential information. 99% of working in a bank is avoiding the potential for getting the sack. it's pretty crazy. sometimes i feel like i'm on total wipeout and i'm constantly being forced to redo that stupid wall thing that punches you in the nuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Stu Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 i know that about many people, doesn't mean anything though. i wouldn't keep my job very long if i went around telling people confidential information. 99% of working in a bank is avoiding the potential for getting the sack. it's pretty crazy. sometimes i feel like i'm on total wipeout and i'm constantly being forced to redo that stupid wall thing that punches you in the nuts.I used to work for a big bank and they'd send in corporate ninjas disguised as cleaning crews to check our workstations to make sure we were compliant with confidentiality regulations. I got caught out a few times. They also wouldn't let anyone short of vice-pres rubber stamp big sum transfers so I'd have to go and cringe in his fucking office while he shouted at people on the phone. I don't miss it.Except the money, that was fucking nice. In retrospect I can see why they were so fucking paranoid. Ha ha. Can we see the books, please? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tam o' Shantie Posted August 5, 2009 Report Share Posted August 5, 2009 Cretins who say "I can only apologise". Yeah? Well that makes you a fairly one dimensional prick then. I suggest you work on increasing your skill set. See also: "Sorry about your wait". MY wait? Who the fuck do you think I am, Father Time? A wait's a wait. Although maybe in my case they're actually saying "Sorry about your weight" which makes perfect sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 Telesales can die.I love it when you get Telesales people calling you up who are clearly reading off a script and if you say something that isn't in the handbook they just get confused. A simple one is:"Would you like to save money on your electric and gas bills?""No. I like paying too much".I once had an Indian guy phone me and I just wound him up for ages. I'd heard that telesales people aren't allowed to hang up on you no matter what you say so I decided to try it out. I told him I was interested in whatever it was he was selling, just to make him think he had a bite, and then I just started talking absolute nonsense. After about 5 minutes of talking in a variety of stupid voices, I got bored, so I said "if you can't go 10 seconds without talking I'm going to lock you in the fridge you naughty little man". He spoke so I said "That's it! You're going in the fridge!" and I actually got up and put the phone in the fridge, then went and sat down again. After about 5 minutes I went to get my phone out of the fridge and the guy was still on the line! Seemingly he'd waited all that time just so he could tell me to "fuck off" and then hang up.Fail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 I'd heard that telesales people aren't allowed to hang up on you no matter what you say so I decided to try it out.I've got them to hang up a few times by pointing out my phone's registered on the TPS and they're breaking the law by calling me. Then I start asking for their name, their supervisor's name, their office address (some of them don't know this, so I ask how they manage to get to work) etc. Quite often in the middle of it all they just hang up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sloth Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 hahahaI got them to hang up by being so hungover and not understanding what they were talking about. Good times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkaline Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 My old flatmate and I used to do all manner of things to annoy/disturb them including:Interuption on a Gay porn set.Mr T voice toy interspersed with normal conversation.Only responding with questions.A rather funny "Manuel"-style housekeeper.A domestic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scootray Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 I've taken the piss a number of times with these telesales people.For a while I was constantly getting calls regarding my energy suppliers. On 3 seperate occasions I claimed I used steam, hamsters in a wheel and dogs on treadmills.I got fed up winding one guy up so just hung up. He rang me back aasked me why I hung up to which I said I was bored. He then questioned this and called me a fucking cunt. I asked to speak to his supervisor, cue short pause, to be speaking to the same guy claiming to be the supervisor. We ended up in a swearing match which was a good laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Stu Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 You guys clearly have both the creative spark and enthusiam for this that I myself lack. Although the last guy who called protested that"You don't know what I'm offering to sell you yet!before I bid him good day. I could have had fun with that, like do you have a pint of milk? How the fuck do you know what I want? How about a good deal on a socket775 Intel Quad core? Do you see the shortcomings of your sales model?Miserable sod that I am, I just politely hang up on them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 My mate got fired from his telesales job when an angry guy told him to go fuck himself.My mate replied "I would sir, but I'm too busy with your wife".Of all the phone calls his boss could have been listening in to, he chose that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Zero Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 I used to just put the phone down without hanging up, it keeps their line live even if they hang up allegedly. Even if it doesn't work I like the idea that it does. I put my number on one of those prevent nuisance call lists, definitely reduced them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 Ooh, you guys are cunts. Yes, it's annoying, but it's just a job and they must be pretty desperate to have to do it. I always think "there but for the grace of god..." and tell them politely, but firmly, that I don't want whatever it is they're hawking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 I used to just put the phone down without hanging up, it keeps their line live even if they hang up allegedly. Even if it doesn't work I like the idea that it does.Im pretty sure that does work. Cos I've worked in telesales before.My favourite one was when I was hungover and some guy phoned to do research on what supermarkets I use and how much I spend etc etc. After answering his questions for about half an hour, he said he was done, to which he said "well I'm not!" and proceeded to do my own research, in the same way his questions were asked (multiple choice/sliding scale etc) about how good my phone call was, and how ace it was talking to me, and how well i answered them etc etc for half an hour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJ Jo-D Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 I just tell them I'm not there each time (i decide to answer - only my folks phone me on my house phone all others are sales....1471 works a treat!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghostwriter Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 I used to just put the phone down without hanging up, it keeps their line live even if they hang up allegedly. Even if it doesn't work I like the idea that it does. I put my number on one of those prevent nuisance call lists, definitely reduced them.I thought it was that if person X phones person Y and then X hangs up, the line goes dead.. but if Y hangs up the line will stay live for as long as person X stays on the phone?I could have it the wrong way round.. but if I don't, then your phone remaining off the hook will make no difference to their line because, as the caller, they have the upper hand in the phone power stakes.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 My favourite one was when I was hungover and some guy phoned to do research on what supermarkets I use and how much I spend etc etc. After answering his questions for about half an hour, he said he was done, to which he said "well I'm not!" and proceeded to do my own research, in the same way his questions were asked (multiple choice/sliding scale etc) about how good my phone call was, and how ace it was talking to me, and how well i answered them etc etc for half an hour.God damn! Now you actually made me look forward to the next time one of them calls.Typically there has not been 1 call to my house today.I normally just have a little rant at them because I work nights and they have disturbed me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waltz Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 Adverts. They're all fucking terrible.Particularly annoying ones just now: Muller and Direct Line. I can't watch a whole Muller advert without wanting to strangle a child, and that fucking song, arrghh. Direct Line because they're badly written and I just wish advertisers would leave Stephen Fry alone so he doesn't have to do something so undiginifed. Paul Merton too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skubbs Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 Radio adverts are worse - they all think they have to over-act with their voice to get their enthusiasm for a certain product across, when in fact they just sound as if they've taken a shitload of speed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Stu Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 I used to just put the phone down without hanging up, it keeps their line live even if they hang up allegedly. Even if it doesn't work I like the idea that it does. I put my number on one of those prevent nuisance call lists, definitely reduced them.I might try that next time if I don't plan on using the phone for an hour I must admit, I had a temp job that was similar in annoyance to telesales for a couple of weeks. In my defense, I was just placed there by my agency. Anyway, my job was to dial numbers and see if anyone picks up or if I get an ansafone or voicemail or whatever and what network it was if so. Basic bruteforce marketing data collection basically.We didn't have number blocking by default as we used mobiles and the amount of people calling the mobile and leaving angry and threatening voicemails was hilarious. I mean, why would you do that? Someones paying me money to hangup on you but you're doing it for free... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeanette Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 Talking about radio ads...This one has been doing my head in!! It's just that song every 20mins or something stupid!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murrr Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 118-247 and their annoying fucking jingle.Die in a fire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scootray Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 I like it, only because I like Magical Trevor though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dianne Posted August 6, 2009 Report Share Posted August 6, 2009 "Sorry about your wait". MY wait? Who the fuck do you think I am, Father Time? A wait's a wait. Although maybe in my case they're actually saying "Sorry about your weight" which makes perfect sense.M&S Staff aren't allowed to say that,, they have to say "thank you for waiting". In case anyone cares...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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