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Showing content with the highest reputation since 08/23/14 in all areas

  1. 14 points
    It has to be better than hearing a wood depressed though.
  2. 11 points
    My Vote goes to the UNF for President!! :o)
  3. 11 points
    Little one arrived right on her due date and both Harper Alice Davies and her mum are well. Big change, but a lot of fun!
  4. 8 points
    Booked my vegas wedding for next year
  5. 8 points
    Slipped into a size 32" waist pair of jeans today, 6 months ago I was wearing 40". Still got a shit load of fat to bust through still though.
  6. 7 points
    Some recent quotes from my AGFW. FTR this person is privately schooled and is now my manager. We need to get on top of the gameball He's a dark fox She's clueless as a breeze The clue is in the pudding You need to delete your history browser. Do you know how to get to your history browser? There's a lot of switching and swatching This is so fustrating (sic), I'm pulling my teeth out You need to have a symbol sign in your password, like an explanation mark The cheques are all over the air I'm afraid your order has been overviewed That's not the problem, the problem is there's a bug on the virus. I deeply apologise on that behalf. It comes from some city in England, Stokeholm or something. It's supposed to be done every Monday, but I think it's fallen through a hoop. We don't need things dripping and drapping on us. They're pulling me around the block I can't say it any more clearer It was just a mistypo. What do you want me to say? I'm sorry for the mistypo. I feel like a talking part at this stage Be careful that doesn't come back on the long foot We were going to do that but unfortunately you beat us to the pulp I think there's an error on the system server There's things that slip through my pipeline He's trying to play the pity party on you. I softblowed that too. Shaun emailed five times and I emailed twice. Thats six emails. It would be nice to have everyone on the same wavepage I'm not a rocket science... lady I have a very irated customer on the phone It disappeared, it just... vamoosed I thought I saw it this morning but i might have been overseeing things They're still just trying to get their feet on gear I couldn't understand his accent, I think he's Pakistanian or something It was an overview and an overlook from that department.
  7. 7 points
  8. 7 points
  9. 7 points
    I wouldn't say they raped Chelsea.
  10. 6 points
    AGFW almost made me explode!!!!!! AGFW is notoriously bad at explaining issues. Everyone knows this. His descriptions are completely lacking and he often needs someone else to explain the issue for him. So today I'm in the kitchen getting coffee and he comes in, to get a fucking cup of tea, and says "The worst part about this job is trying to figure out what *other worker* is taliking about." My fucking head was close to fucking exploding...but then...I look over...and he's literally holding a fucking black kettle. Fuck me. Right in the fucking eyes.
  11. 6 points
    Oh Subway Cults I have this really weird thing with Cults, I used to go out with a girl who lived there and when we first started dating I spent a lot of that summer hanging out with her in Cults. It was one of those long hot summers where the days seem to go on forever, we'd go walking around the village and the countryside in the sunshine, and I have such great memories of it that I've kind of deified Cults as this place where the sun never stops shining and the birds never stop singing and theres nonstop new relationship sex. Subway Cults is my Pizza Hut Union Street. Of course inevitably winter follows summer and she left me for some dick, but that didn't happen in Cults. Don't show my wife this.
  12. 6 points
    Moved to Glasgow and started a pretty great new job at the Royal Conservatoire.
  13. 6 points
    Don't be a fucking cretin, clear up after yourself after camping or don't bother going in the first place.
  14. 6 points
    To be fair she'd never done it in the previous 117 years so she had a great track record of not dying - there's no way anyone could have foreseen that that would change now.
  15. 6 points
    sorry m8, can't hear you over all the winning.
  16. 6 points
    I have an interview for an admin role with RPS Energy on Monday. Has anyone here worked for them before?
  17. 5 points
    I'm gonna be rich when I open a gentleman's barber that sells siphon coffee stout in a viking horn and a gourmet burger that drips beard oil into your face muff as you bite into it cos it only has a top bun.
  18. 5 points
    Oh those fuckers are the WORST. I can deal with "This would have been my Gran's birthday and she was a swell old bird and not nearly as racist as you'd expect a 74y/o to be so this is a bittersweet time for me..." statuses, because at least they're actually directed at their audience. These fucking facebook statuses aimed into the fucking aether like some kind of trans-mortal soliloquy can eat a bag of infected dicks. Take your public private introspection and poke it up your fucking pisshole - sharing it doesn't make you look spiritual and deep, it makes you look like an arsehole. xx
  19. 5 points
    It's where you buy tikis for the show
  20. 5 points
    Top grade April fools. The biggest giveaway is a feature writer not being able to describe their feelings, you'll never get anywhere with that attitude.
  21. 5 points
  22. 5 points
  23. 4 points
  24. 4 points
    Been vegetarian for four years. On. Sunday I ate some turkey. I thought it would be gross but it wasn't. So I had some chicken on Monday. Then I had pork chops on Tuesday. Tonight I'm having meatballs. Confession: I'm not a vegetarian any more. Back to the dark side with me.
  25. 4 points
    Have they got the doctor from Arrested Development writing their statuses?
  26. 4 points
    Currently rocking the Houston Dynamo in 2037 in my current save. I started off managing Newry City FC in the second tier of Northern Irish football, the squad available to me consisted of less than 11 men. The board gave me £0 to spend on new players, but with a lot of perseverance and free and east Scandinavians, I managed to get Newry promoted, premiership champions on more than one occasion and even a couple of UEFA cup runs. Our finest moment must have been a 5-1 home demolition of Partick Thistle, 4 goals coming from Bjorn Rhordahl. Alas, I gave the board an ultimatum, demanding transfer funds - in the 6 years I was there, they never gave me anything - and they sacked me. Scumbags immediately gave cash to my replacement! A lengthy spell at Boston Utd followed, taking them from the conference to champions league in a fairly meteoric fashion. my greatest achievement was the 19 year career of a free transfer I signed in my first year at the club, on Ludovic Guillou. Ludo managed over 524 appearances for the Pilgrims, winning leagues, european cups and amassing over 60 caps for France. There were two other stalwarts of my conference side that made a splash at the top tier of club football. Swedish goal poacher extrordinaire Martin "der bomber" Muller amassed 245 goals for the club and won European Footballer of the year, before abruptly packing in football and retiring at the age of 28. Ben Freeman, who played an Andrea Pirlo-esque holding role whilst at Boston, dominated premiership football for over 10 years, but national team politics meant he was awarded only one token cap. He was regularly voted Boston player of the year. Once Ludovic Guillou retired I decided that a new challenge was in order and I departed to Italy and took charge of Napoli. The board gave me a £200m war chest and I went to town, filling the first 11 with the cream of world club football. 5 years there and it was a bit too easy with all the money in the world. That brought me to Tayside and Dundee. Scottish football was in pretty dire straits by 2035, probably on par with the conference football that the Pilgrims played when I took over at the Jakesmans. 18 months at Dens park rewarded myself and the club with 1 league cup and 1 league title. Our glamour moment was hosting Real Madrid in the 3rd round of qualifying for the champions league. We managed a goalless draw at the Bernabau, so spirits were high for the return league. We battered them for 90 minutes, firing everything we could at them, but nothing was going in. We all were expecting extra time, but a cheap 92nd minute goal broke the hearts of the Dens park faithful. This also cancelled out my love affair with the club and I decided on a move across the Atlantic. Its January and the league hasn't started and I have no idea how anything works, wish me luck.
  27. 4 points
    Lemonade's commitment is A SAINT!!
  28. 4 points
  29. 4 points
    I just assisted with the potential saving of a mans life!
  30. 4 points
    I would like a single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man's hat.
  31. 4 points
    It's quarter past 3, I haven't put on any trousers yet and I've just eaten a block of smoked cheddar.
  32. 4 points
    Today I attended the funeral of Gordon Hardie who was also a neighbour of mine. Gordon was a founder member of the Abergeldie Jazz club that flourished in the late fifties and early sixties. It played host to local bands like the Sandy West Jazz Band and even promoted Aberdeen appearances for big stars like Dizzy Gillespie. Gordon's Stag Entertainments in the sixties, often in association with Albert Bonici, Brian Epstein etc booked many shows in the North East including a Sunday Concert by the Beatles into the Beach Ballroom in December 1962. Later on he would promote shows at the Capitol Theatre Aberdeen featuring The Rolling Stones, Millie Jackson, Dusty Springfield, Kenny Ball's Jazzmen etc etc. Gordon was a very successful promoter and when I was about 14 he would come into my Dad's shop in Rosemount and he always parked his Porsche right at the door. Having a Porsche back in 1958 really was something else. Over the years Gordon must have had dozens of them. I remember him selling one once because the colour of the bonnet clashed with the colour of the upholstery! It was mentioned today that he was quite a ladies man and didn't get married till he was 46. Once he was driving Dusty Springfield between shows and took the opportunity to chat her up but to no avail. It was a little later that he learned that Dusty was gay. Gordon was very good at helping young musicians at the start of their careers and his work at Aberdeen Arts Centre was much also much appreciated. He came out of retirement to help book my piano playing friend Kyle Esplin get his first TV engagement that led him on to great success. http://kyleesplin.com Gordon lived just down the road from me and whenever I heard the roar of a high powered engine and a friendly toot on the horn - it was always Gordon passing by. There was never any point in waving back as he would be long gone. Sadly Gordon himself has now gone and another link with Aberdeen's musical history is no longer with us.
  33. 4 points
    I have to admit that being so close did make it difficult to properly conceal my erection.
  34. 4 points
    A recent poll of departed Aberdeen Music members showed that 99.8% of them had their accounts deleted on account of my heavy-handed moderation style. Neil claims he had no choice but to let me go. I can't say any more because there are legal proceedings pending, rest assured when I win the case and everything he owns, things are going to be done very differently around here. North Korea meets... wherever 1984 was set.
  35. 4 points
    Thank goodness he has a fantastic signing voice.
  36. 3 points
  37. 3 points
  38. 3 points
    R2Deed2 https://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/aug/13/kenny-baker-r2-d2-dies-star-wars?CMP=fb_gu
  39. 3 points
  40. 3 points
    I knew if I mentioned Dublin enough times we would eventually take over. Fuck off out of our site you Aberdonkeys.
  41. 3 points
  42. 3 points
    Are you Edward Scissorhands? Wtf?
  43. 3 points
    Much like your contribution to this thread.
  44. 3 points
    Make sure there's room on the bus for ot so you don't have to swap it for a wah wah or some other such shite.
  45. 3 points
  46. 3 points
    It's my party and I'll die if I want to: http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory/party-singer-songwriter-lesley-gore-dies-68-29004127
  47. 3 points
  48. 3 points
    I was told this joke by a child, so it may not appeal to the few adult posters on this website, but I enjoyed it a lot. Why do squirrels swim on their back? To keep their nuts dry
  49. 3 points
    Cutting alcohol wasn't a massive problem for me, as I'm nowhere near as big a drinker as I was a few years ago. Where possible, I'd recommend drinking only on your reefed/free meal days, so you're getting all of your indulgences out of the way without spreading them out too much. I only really have a couple of boozy nights a month, and I don't drink during the week. The only conscious changes I made were to go for lower-carb beers (ales are yer best shout, generally) and to omit mixers when drinking spirits: fizzy drinks (even "diet" options) and fruit juice can murder your weight loss attempts. Obviously the more you drink, the more your efforts will be hampered, but I definitely think it's possible to maintain a steady weight-loss routine without excessively culling your alcohol intake. And yeah, motivation is an absolute bastard. I tried for years to shift weight, and it just didn't work. I'd go through spurts of attempting to live a healthier lifestyle, but ultimately I'd relapse and end-up gaining weight. It didn't really "click" until Spring last year. Results are a pretty powerful motivator. Once you've been doing things "correctly," for a few weeks and the lbs start slipping away, it's pretty rewarding. A few things that worked for my motivation:- 1. Measuring weight in pounds, rather than kilograms or stone. These are a higher unit of measurement. A pound is .45 kilos. So if you lose 10lbs in one month, that's 4.5kgs. It's obviously just a psychological thing, as you've still lost the exact same amount of weight, saying you've lost the bigger figure just feels better. 2. Don't weigh yourself too regularly. Your body weight can fluctuate by a few lbs throughout the day, depending on what you've eaten/drank, etc. You could theoretically weigh yourself at 9am one morning, then weigh yourself again at 5pm the following day and be 3-4lbs heavier. You're not actually heavier: this is almost always water weight. Nonetheless, these temporary weight increases will destroy your morale. 3. When you weigh yourself, do it on the same day at roughly the same time wherever possible. I weight myself once every two weeks after waking-up on a Saturday morning. This will give a truer reflection of your actual weight loss, as your body will be in a similar state every time you weigh yourself. 4. Don't count calories. Most of the science behind caloric intake is complete and utter toot and has been disproven (though I can't pull-up references at the moment). This is a completely joyless way of "dieting," and there's a good chance that it just won't work. For perspective, I've lost weight on 3,500 calorie diet and a 1,000 calorie diet, with minimal activity at times. It's junk science. Count macronutrients. 5. Be kind to yourself. If you cock-up and have a pizza on one of your diet days, don't get frustrated: eat the thing and move-on. I found that when I punished myself to lapsing, I just made myself more and more frustrated, ultimately leading to more lapses. The goal is to be disciplined, yes: but living like a monk is unenjoyably. I'd recommend the MyFitnessPal app if you want to try and track yer macros. It's a fantastic way of logging what you're taking in, and it even has a barcode scanner, so you can directly import your food's data onto your phone. Using it will teach you loads about the nutritional value of loads of different foods, to the point where you won't even need the app after a few months. tl;dr, but that's my take. Again, I can't say that my way is "THE BEST EVER," but these are things that have worked for me.
  50. 3 points
    Blackett's emergence is surprising. Looked garbage for the reserves. I certainly don't rate him as a full back when he's played there for the U21s. He's taken to the back 3 better than Evans and Smalling though. It will be interesting to see if he can play in a back four as well, as I can't imagine the back 3 is a permanent fixture. He should still be bottom of the pecking order. Or maybe ahead of Evans. Jones > Rojo > Smalling > Blackett > Playing with 10 men > Forfeit > Evans.
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