Spoonie Posted June 20, 2009 Report Share Posted June 20, 2009 Lunchlady Doris: At last the world is safe, eh, Fallout Boy?Ralph: What's for lunch tomorrow?Director: Next!Ralph: Chicken necks?Ralph: Super Nintendo Chalmers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huw Posted June 20, 2009 Report Share Posted June 20, 2009 "Crap on a crust!" - Homer"I wish they had pee-wee hockey when I was a lad." - Snake"eeeeuhhhhhvrrrrr" - sideshow bob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaseyBoi Posted June 21, 2009 Report Share Posted June 21, 2009 Frink: Oh my great good God! Gentlemen, your attention please. I am detecting a gigiantic amphibious life-form, it's 80 meters long and it's heading this way. Oh good glayven it's on my shoe. It's a small frog, just get off, just get off there, just get out of it, get out of it. Stupid machine, oh wait a minute, this isn't the Monsterometer, it's the Frog-Exaggerator Mm-hai.Frink explains his plan to rescue Timmy O'Toole from the well.Frink: Although we can't reach the boy, we can freeze him with liquid nitrogen so that future generations can rescue him.Frink rocks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tam o' Shantie Posted June 22, 2009 Report Share Posted June 22, 2009 When Mr Burns takes over television to put pressure on Homer to give him back his childhood toy bear, and appears in his own terrible sitcom....Burns: Smithers I'm home... (canned laughter)Smithers: What, already? (canned laughter)Burns: Yes. (extremely loud canned laughter & applause)Lisa: Is it my imagination or is TV getting worse?Homer: Eh, it's about the same... uh oh, look out Smithers (crashing noise)!From "Homer Bad Man" when Homer is persecuted by the press when he is accused of sexual harassment:Homer: Somebody had to take the babysitter home. Then I noticed she was sitting on [splice] her sweet [splice] can. [splice] -- o I grab her -- [splice] sweet can. [splice] Oh, just thinking about [splice] her [splice] can [splice] I just wish I had he -- [splice] sweet [splice] sweet [splice] s-s-sweet [splice] can.Jones: So, Mr. Simpson: you admit you grabbed her can. What do you have to say in your defense?Homer: [looking lustful in a clearly-paused VCR shot]Jones: Mr. Simpson, your silence will only incriminate you further. [paused shot of Homer grows larger] No, Mr. Simpson, don't take your anger out on me. Get back! Get back! Mist -- Mr. Simpson -- nooo! Man: [quickly] Dramatization -- may not have happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diesel Posted June 22, 2009 Report Share Posted June 22, 2009 Itchy & Scratchy LandFrink raises the alarm.Frink: You've got to listen to me. Elementary chaos theory tells us that all robots will eventually turn against their masters and run amok in an orgy of blood and the kicking and the biting with the metal teeth and the hurting and shoving.Scientist: How much time do we have professor?Frink: Well according to my calculations, the robots won't go berserk for at least 24 hours.(The robots go berserk.)Frink: Oh, I forgot to er, carry the one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calum Posted June 22, 2009 Report Share Posted June 22, 2009 Kearney: "My divorce was tough on my kid, but he got over it."Kearney Jr.: "I sleep in a drawer."Marge: "Homer, promise me you won't stalk Lenny and Carl!"Homer: "Okay. I'm going outside to... stalk... Lenny and Carl. Heh heh heh... d'oh!"Every single thing ever said by Lionel Hutz (AKA Miguel Sanchez, AKA Dr. Nguyen Van Phuoc).Lionel Hutz: "Uh oh. We've drawn Judge Schneider."Marge: "Is that bad?"Lionel Hutz: "Well, he's kinda had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog."Marge: "You did?"Lionel Hutz: "Well, replace the word 'kinda' with the word 'repeatedly' and the word 'dog' with 'son'."Lionel Hutz: "And so, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I rest my case." Judge Snyder: "Hmm. Mr Hutz, do you realize you're not wearing any pants? "Lionel Hutz: "I... Ahh! "[David Crosby shakes his head in shame] Lionel Hutz: "I move for a bad court thingy. "Judge Snyder: "You mean a *mistrial?* "Lionel Hutz: "Yeah! That's why you're the judge and I'm the law... talkin'... guy." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted June 22, 2009 Report Share Posted June 22, 2009 Remember son, if something is hard to do, it's not worth doing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted June 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 22, 2009 "If I hear another peep out of either of you, we'll be turning this car around and there'll be no Cape Canaveral for anyone!(Nelson reaches out and slaps him on the back of the head)"That's it! Back to Winnipeg!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Android Posted November 18, 2010 Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 A Simpsons quotes threadbecause it's an embarrassment to us all that we don't already have one!Share your favourite moments.One of my favourite episodes which I just recently watched is Lemon of Troy.Flanders: Pardon me, neighbourinos. Some of our boys are lost in your town. You wouldn't have happenned to see them, by any chance?Shelbyville Guy #1: Sounds like Springfield's got a discipline problem.Shelbyville Guy #2: Maybe that's why we beat them at football nearly half the timeThe delivery on that last line is so great.andBart's a tutor now. Tute on boy, tute on! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodsinho Posted November 18, 2010 Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 My all time favourite comes at the end of the Hungry, Hungry Homer episode:Albuquerque Mayor: See how much Dallas wants for the Cowboys.. Assistant: That's a football team, sir. Albuquerque Mayor: They'll play what I tell them to play...for I am the mayor of Albuquerque! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 18, 2010 Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 "I'd never heard the word 'embiggened' before I moved here""I don't know why. It's a perfectly cromulent word""The play was embiggened by his cromulent performance"And so on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Stu Posted November 18, 2010 Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 "there's narry an animal alive that can ootrun a greased Scotsman!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Android Posted November 18, 2010 Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 Did you know that there's a direct correlation between the decline of Spirograph and the rise in gang activity? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted November 18, 2010 Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 One that I use in conversation a lot, "It's funny 'cause it's true.""This is the biggest case of false advertising since my case against the movie The Neverending Story.""Last nights Itchy and Scratchy Show was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.""Homer, I can honestly say that was the best episode of Impy and Chimpy I've ever seen.""Weaseling out of things is important to learn. Its what separates us from the animalsexcept the weasel." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diesel Posted November 18, 2010 Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 Principal Skinner - "I was only there to get directions on how to get away from there" - explaining why he was at the Maison Derrier brothel.Burns- "I suggest you leave immediately" Homer- "Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths, and when they bark they shot bees at you?"Professor Frink - "You've got to listen to me. Elementary chaos theory tells us that all robots will eventually turn against their masters and run amok in an orgy of blood and the kicking and the biting with the metal teeth and the hurting and shoving."*in fact ANYTHING said by Frink or Gill the Salesman is GOLD! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Mulhern Posted November 18, 2010 Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 Scully (to Homer): "This is a lie detector, we will ask you question which will have either a yes or no answer... do you understand?"Homer: "yes"*machine explodes* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodsinho Posted November 18, 2010 Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 Burns- "I suggest you leave immediately" Homer- "Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths, and when they bark they shot bees at you?"Release the Robot Richard Simmons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted November 18, 2010 Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 "Troy McClure? I thought you said he was dead.""No, what I said was Troy McClure sleeps with the fishes. You see...""Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted November 18, 2010 Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 Ned Flanders - Ive done everything the Bible says, even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodsinho Posted November 18, 2010 Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 Hello. I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted November 18, 2010 Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 "You are gay" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted November 18, 2010 Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 "Hello Moe's Tavern, home of the world's smallest large screen TV.""The plant says if you don't come in tomorrow don't bother coming in on Monday either.""WOO HOO, 4 DAY WEEKEND!""What about bacon?""No!""What about ham?""No!""Pork chops?""Dad, those all come from the same animal""Hehe, yeah right Lisa, a wonderful, MAGICAL animal." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted November 18, 2010 Author Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 Bart: Please don't call our parents.Chief Wiggum: I'm afraid I have to for hijinks like these. Hehe. Hijinks. Funny word. Three dotted letters in a row.Eddie: Is it hyphenated?Chief Wiggum: It used to be. Back in the bad old days. Of course every generation hyphenates the way it wants to. Then there's N'Sync. Heh. What the hell is that? Jump in any time, Eddie, these are good topics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted November 18, 2010 Author Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 Ever seen a man say goodbye to his shoes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted November 18, 2010 Report Share Posted November 18, 2010 Dun dun dun!http://www.aberdeen-music.com/forums/humour/56426-simpsons-quotes.htmlI'll combine the two threads if that's OK with everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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