Soda Jerk Posted October 5, 2011 Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 That's pretty much the end of the story. It was fun, but needs more length. Pun not intended, but taking credit for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted October 5, 2011 Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 Ahh, I had hoped to resume the tale with a giant dick sucking up all the mysterious blue piss and see where it goes.Dissappointing.xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skubbs Posted October 5, 2011 Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 Bought Kasabian tickets for my little sister's birthday, she absolutely adores them. They're playing in Aberdeen on her birthday, so I'm not going to tell her until we arrive at AECC just so I can see her go batshit crazy and scream the place down. She's always said that I have to take her to her first gig I'm excited for how excited she's going to be haha 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TR!ΔNGL€ T€€TH Posted October 5, 2011 Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 I live downstairs from a skeleton! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Android Posted October 6, 2011 Report Share Posted October 6, 2011 I live above a bowling alley, and below another bowling alley! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Android Posted October 6, 2011 Report Share Posted October 6, 2011 The choreography in this performance is ace-ic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted October 6, 2011 Report Share Posted October 6, 2011 I live above a bowling alley, and below another bowling alley!I sleep in a racing car. Do you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Android Posted October 6, 2011 Report Share Posted October 6, 2011 No, I sleep in a big bed with my wife.an all time great scene. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 9, 2011 Report Share Posted October 9, 2011 Weed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Android Posted October 12, 2011 Report Share Posted October 12, 2011 Public Holidays! Wednesday seems like a strange day for one, but it's been great, nicely splits up the work week. And even more ace-ic the weather was great and I spent the day on the beach.What wasn't ace-ic, was seeing some stupid girl who had come to the beach and sat next to the sea, and she was using her fucking mac! Fuck off to starbucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skacel Posted October 12, 2011 Report Share Posted October 12, 2011 Maybe she was scared of getting wet... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted October 12, 2011 Report Share Posted October 12, 2011 Wednesday is a weird day for a holiday. You can't go anywhere for a long wknd. I liked how they do it in france where they intentionally make it a tuesday or a thursday so everyone takes the day in the middle off to make a mega wknd. Lazy bastards, they love leisure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Android Posted October 12, 2011 Report Share Posted October 12, 2011 If a holiday falls on a tuesday or thursday here that tends to happen too but the majority of holidays are fixed to a certain date so they will be on wednesdays sometimes or sundays when it doesn't make a difference at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davidm Posted October 14, 2011 Report Share Posted October 14, 2011 The romantic comedy of the year from "THE Multiple Award Winning Teco Benson". Enjoy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirsten Posted October 16, 2011 Report Share Posted October 16, 2011 Ordered a little book on Guided By Voices' album 'Bee Thousand' in at my work for myself last March or so. I kept forgetting to buy it but it was put aside, so was never found when it came to returning it. This meant that it was eventually added to the clearance sale list and so I got it for £1.99. Magnificent. The lesson is: if you're lazy, you will eventually fuck the system. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 Comic reader on my phone. Really intuitive and easy to use, plus I can read issue #1's and really old, rare comics for tuppence.xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 Charlie Brooker's twitter is also ace-ic.As is this article from the Guardian following it:Everyone knows David Cameron is a lizard. So why does the Telegraph continue to deny the truth?Last week, during the opening preamble to a fairly pedestrian whinge about glitzy BBC promo trails, I called Prime Minister David Cameron a "pitiless blank-eyed hell-wraith" and described his familiar evening ritual: a stomach-churning rite which opens with ceremonial skin-shedding and climaxes with the swallowing of a live foal.So far, so utterly reasonable. But Graeme Archer of the Daily Telegraph was less than impressed. In a riposte entitled "Charlie Brooker and the Tragedy of the Modern Left", he wrote that he was appalled that "Mr. Brooker felt the need to spend four paragraphs to tell us that the Prime Minister is, in fact, a lizard [and] that he is served by lizards who aid him in the consumption of live flesh once the sun goes down."He went on to criticise the article's "quite repellent imagery, deliberately deployed in order to de-humanise a perfectly reasonable Conservative", before complaining that "to describe a political opponent as a blood-sucking lizard isn't amusing; and even if it were, it is depraved". In conclusion, he wrote: "Neither good people who vote Tory, nor their honourable opponents who vote Labour, are less than human: they are just people who happen to disagree on political objectives and tactics."Archer has a point. It isn't fair to imply someone is "less than human". It would be unfair, for instance, to describe Geoff Hoon as "an overfed, self-satisfied cat, oozing smugness" or to describe Labour MPs en masse as a "legion of dead-eyed Brown spawn", as Archer did in his Conservative Home blog, presumably as part of some strange unconscious typing accident.Archer writes vividly and from the heart and, if his byline photo is anything to go by, appears to be a perfectly reasonable man (specifically, Ross Kemp). He deserves the benefit of the doubt. But I fear in his rush to reprimand the "Modern Left", he has overlooked one key fact: David Cameron is a lizard.Yes, David Cameron is a lizard. A lizard that devours live foals in its lair. And as far as Archer is concerned, it's perfectly fine for this limbless, non-human, Cameron-reptile-beast-thing to squirm across the stone floor of its den merrily excreting the bones of its victims, yet I'm "depraved" simply for writing about it. This is the tragedy of the Modern Right. They're idiots.Well, let me spell it out: You cannot dehumanise a lizard. Not without humanising it first, by giving it a little top hat, say, or a monocle. Maybe put some lipstick on it. And a wig. Teach it to walk sexy. That's the way. Now confess: you already feel like getting to base three with the thing. But don't! It's still just a creature.But that's a standard lizard we're talking about. Sadly Cameron is no standard lizard. He can't even be classified as a conventional reptile, because that would require him to have some kind of quantifiable earthly form – which, as a malevolent paranormal entity continually shifting between dimensions, he simply doesn't have.I know this sounds crazy. But don't take my word for it. Last week I asked the online community if it had further proof of Cameron's true nature. I was immediately inundated with terrifying eyewitness accounts.Twitter enthusiast @djamesc wrote: "I went to school with Cameron. He used to curl up next to the radiator during lunch. He only ate once a week."Steve Hogarty said: "I once saw him behind a branch of Waitrose using both hands to squeeze a swollen pulsating neck gland (or 'sac') into a dustbin."Pianist Stephen Frizzle "witnessed Cameron slice off his finger whilst preparing vegetables, and it just grew back. No word of a lie."Rob Carmier from Brighton recalled that on the day the lift wasn't working at the G8 summit, Cameron "merely climbed the glass exterior with flattened palms".Gareth James explained the recent hot weather was caused when Cameron "surrounded the UK with glass walls because he needs to live in a vivarium".While a few of Cameron's lizard properties sound almost charming – as Betsy Martian pointed out: "if ever he thinks his backbenchers are conspiring against him, he can turn his head a full 180 degrees to check" – others are less attractive.For instance Paul Yates recalled: "I went to a business lunch with Cameron once and he ordered spiders. We all laughed, but he just stared at us."This chilling behaviour was merely the tip of a deeply unsettling iceberg. Pete Strover encountered "a pack of feral dogs gathered in an underpass" which "barked Cameron's name in unison", Dave Probert "once saw Cameron vomit up his entire skeleton to avoid having to admit he doesn't know where Wales is", Tom Bain "saw Cameron put his entire hand through the hole in the middle of a CD", while perhaps most damningly of all, Darren Smith said: "I heard he strips completely naked to have a shit."Hundreds of similar reports flooded in. I did my best throughout the week to alert everyone on Twitter to Cameron's reptilian ways, but after several hours of unrelenting lizard warnings from me, they grew bored. Some begged me to "be funny again". Others asked me to "drop the lizard shit" or "change the record" or "STFU". Undeterred, I bravely persisted, all week long, repeatedly tweeting that Cameron was a lizard. Or maybe two lizards. Or some sort of ghost. But definitely evil and definitely not human. Yet still, thousands unfollowed me. It was almost as if they simply didn't want to be told that David Cameron is a reptilian daemon that enters our realm each morning by slithering through a haunted mirror in order to feast on human souls.No one wants to know. They're in denial, or maybe hypnotised by the sulphurous mind-control gas Cameron emits from a series of gummy, puckering apertures along his underbelly. At least here you get the truth. Which is that he is a lizard. And by "he", I mean Cameron. David Cameron. Who is a lizard. David Cameron is a lizard.xx 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarmaTsunami Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 Buying my Wild Flag ticket Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flights Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 Writing songs really quickly. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Gold Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 That article is quaaaaality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 I had completely glossed over Charlie Brooker until that, now he's my hero!xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Gold Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 Very polite, formal letter of resignation sent to my 'orrible old boss. He's going to love it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 Let us see, please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Gold Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 It's not that exciting tbh. It's genuinely polite, but he doesn't handle that sort of thing well.I managed to fit an 'all the best' in there all the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 Great bunch of lads. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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