MC Nice Andrew Posted October 3, 2009 Report Share Posted October 3, 2009 No!We must talk about the intricities of the joke and the poster's motive, background and any other contributing factors to why anyone would have a different sense of humour than our own.What a complicated world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted October 5, 2009 Report Share Posted October 5, 2009 What's red and invisible?No tomatoes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted October 5, 2009 Report Share Posted October 5, 2009 What's the difference between jam & marmalade?You can't marmalade your cock up a baby's arse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul_Victory Posted October 5, 2009 Report Share Posted October 5, 2009 What's the difference between jam & marmalade?You can't marmalade your cock up a baby's arse.you must spread . . .fucking briliant, i almost fell off my chair Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted October 5, 2009 Report Share Posted October 5, 2009 I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up.She said I had to stop wanking.When I asked why she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted October 5, 2009 Report Share Posted October 5, 2009 Not sure if this will work on the internet...What's green and invisible? ^ | |That cabbage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul_Victory Posted October 5, 2009 Report Share Posted October 5, 2009 i was reading in the paper this morning that some pick-pocket-ed a dwarf, it makes me wander, who would stoop that low? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted October 6, 2009 Report Share Posted October 6, 2009 I entered a marathon last year. Got chocolate and peanuts all over my cock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted October 6, 2009 Report Share Posted October 6, 2009 I entered a marathon last year. Got chocolate and peanuts all over my cock.You deserve more scene points, despite the fact that if you get any more you might invade poland and start killing folk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted October 6, 2009 Report Share Posted October 6, 2009 an old gem...What noise does a baby in a microwave make?...I dunno either, was too busy wanking at the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted October 6, 2009 Report Share Posted October 6, 2009 You deserve more scene points, despite the fact that if you get any more you might invade poland and start killing folk.I might just do that anyway. That joke worked better 20 years ago by the way. Now there's a whole generation of kids going "I don't get it". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted October 6, 2009 Report Share Posted October 6, 2009 what was that confectionary based joke that ended with 'pull down your snickers, I'll give you a boost'? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted October 6, 2009 Report Share Posted October 6, 2009 I might just do that anyway. That joke worked better 20 years ago by the way. Now there's a whole generation of kids going "I don't get it".I don't care about those people. They are arseholes who deserve no attention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nev Posted October 11, 2009 Report Share Posted October 11, 2009 what was that confectionary based joke that ended with 'pull down your snickers, I'll give you a boost'?"Do you like chocolate?" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted October 12, 2009 Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 "Do you like chocolate?"that's the one. Could only remember the punch line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TelecasterSam Posted October 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2009 A very wise man once said... "You should treat your woman like your vacuum cleaner... when she stops sucking, replace the bag. apparently, he died a horrible death, and his wife was found innocent!(sexist, I know, but it made me laugh) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted October 14, 2009 Report Share Posted October 14, 2009 i got it, so i think you need to be quite young not to get it.It seems to be something all parents speak about, like they never got over the Snickers name change. So, you probably need to not have parents not to get it. I imagine orphans aren't too into their jokes any way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted October 14, 2009 Report Share Posted October 14, 2009 What do women and condoms have in common?When they aren't on your dick they're in your wallet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaseyBoi Posted October 14, 2009 Report Share Posted October 14, 2009 Press ReleaseStephen gately died of bird fluHis mother was reported as saying "its no secret our stephen loved a cuckatoo" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted October 14, 2009 Report Share Posted October 14, 2009 I met a 14 year old girl on the internet. She was clever, funny, flirty and sexy, so I suggested we meet up. She turned out to be an undercover detective.How cool is that at her age?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted October 14, 2009 Report Share Posted October 14, 2009 What's pink and goes around and around on a carousel?Gately's luggage.My mate just told me he's shagging a new bird and her twin. I asked him how he tells them apart and he said "That's easy. her brother's got a moustache." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skubbs Posted October 14, 2009 Report Share Posted October 14, 2009 What's pink and goes around and around on a carousel?Gately's luggage.You star hahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted October 19, 2009 Report Share Posted October 19, 2009 Dear Louis Walsh,Just a quick message so you know I'm not fucking around. For every week those fucking twins remain in the X Factor, another member of Boyzone gets it.Yours faithfully,God Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jon Posted October 19, 2009 Report Share Posted October 19, 2009 "You must spread" etc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted October 19, 2009 Report Share Posted October 19, 2009 A guy is sitting in a bar, totally shitfaced. He's talking to the bartender when suddenly and out of nowhere he pukes all over his own shirt."Fucks sake" he says "My wife is going to kill me when I get home, I wasn't supposed to get drunk tonight and now she's going to know how pissed I was""No no, I've got an idea" says the bartender. "Stick a 20 note in your shirt pocket, and when you get home tell her some other guy puked on your shirt and he gave you 20 to cover the cost of getting it dry-cleaned".So the drunk guy decides this is a good plan, and he heads off home, his shirt still covered in puke. When he gets in his wife starts screaming at him "Look at you you drunk bastard, you've fucking spewed all over yourself!"So he says "No dear, calm down. I only had a couple of beers, there was this pissed guy on the stool next to me, he puked on my shirt and gave me 20 to get it dry cleaned - see?" At this, he pulls out two pukey 20 notes from the shirt pocket."So... why are there are two 20 notes then?" she enquires."Oh yeah. He shit in my pants as well" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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