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TelecasterSam

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what kind of cheese do you use to hide small horses?

Mascarpone

 

 

I told that joke to my wife the other day, She got angry and threw a block of Cheddar at me.. I said that's not very mature!

 

 

Peadophiles, theyre fucking immature arseholes

 

 

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On 1/12/2010 at 6:34 PM, TelecasterSam said:

Not exactly PC, but funny nonetheless....... (NO offence meant to the Irish)

Paddy and Mick go to London to donate sperm. It was a disaster! Paddy missed the tube and Mick came on the bus!

A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy ordered a whiskey. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.

He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!"

Paddy handed his drink back and said "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!"

Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight. The operator asks "How many people are flying with you ?"

Paddy replies "I don't know! Its your f***ing plane!"

Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night. After 3 hours of amazing sex, Paddy says "I wonder how the girls are getting on"

Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses, lies on the bed spreadeagled and says "You know what I want don't you ?"

"Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole friggin' bed by the looks of it!"

Paddy and his wife are lying in bed and the neighbours' dog is barking like mad in the garden. Paddy says "To hell with this!" and storms off.

He comes back upstairs 5 minutes later and his wife asks "What did you do ?"

Paddy replies "I've put the dog in our garden. Let's see how they like it!"

Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have Bluetongue. "Be Jeysus!" he said, "I didn't even know they had mobile phones!"

Mick and Paddy are reading headstones at a nearby cemetery. Mick say "Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!"

Paddy says "What's his name ?"

Mick replies "Miles, from London!"

this could be the plot lines for an entire season of Mrs Browns boys. 

that show is truly terrible

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Wife walks in from the door after a long day, looks around the house in amazement everything's tidied... But remembered waging a bet she'd give her husband the blow if he was to tidy up for once.

She creeps into bed thinking about her plan to do the deed now while he is asleep, so she can get it over with without the gloat and smug from her husband.

After she finished, she heads across the hallway to the bathroom to clean up... In shock... To find her husband coming out of the shower.

'What the fuck are you doing in there!?' She screams, in shock, confusion and disgust.

"I know", he says. "It would make far more sense for me to shower in our bedroom ensuite. By the way, you've got some spunk on your face" 

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