Jaaakkkeee Posted July 23, 2012 Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 If you can involve a headshot to your missus, all your Enter Shikari CDs and your bumhole too then we can retire you from the forum.What about the vinyl, stickers, tshirts, mug, bag, photo booklets and dvds? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted July 23, 2012 Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 Ice cream, mate. Ice cream.Also works for having tonsils out, a sore throat, hangovers, a bad case of the mondays, your football team losing, hot days, putting the tub on your head when you've got a headache. Pretty much anything. You should get ice cream injected straight into your neck when you go into hospital, no matter what you've got. It cures all. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted July 23, 2012 Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 Oh. My Pet Hate is Gypsies.There's a whole load of them in the scrapyard down Urquhart Road. I was walking past them just now on my way home from band practice. Apparently they like to have barbecues and throw broken house bricks at folk who pass by. I tend to not like having bricks hurled at me. You could even say I pet hate it. They hurled half a brick at me anyway, knowing full well I pet hate it when that happens.Fucking scumbags. It was some fat little tosser. I saw on some Gyspsy TV show that they like to settle their rows with a one-on-one street fight. I'd fucking smash the snot out of that scruffy cunt.I'd recommend not walking down Urquhart Road anyway. They've got bricks and scrap metal and they're just lobbing it about like a bunch of hooligans. ACE! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scootray Posted July 23, 2012 Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 Cunts. My cousin has a crossfit place down there somewhere. Hopefully not affecting them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Android Posted July 26, 2012 Report Share Posted July 26, 2012 I'm going to hate not living in Manchester for the last 3 months of the year http://www.thewarehouseproject.com/calendar.php Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Zero Posted July 30, 2012 Report Share Posted July 30, 2012 Folk who seem to have no sense of personal space in queues who stand about 6" behind you even when you have reached the counter...even worse when they proceed to cough and splutter and you feel the draught on the back of your head, leaving a bit of concern that some moisture may have been emitted.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skubbs Posted July 30, 2012 Report Share Posted July 30, 2012 Folk who seem to have no sense of personal space in queues who stand about 6" behind you even when you have reached the counter...even worse when they proceed to cough and splutter and you feel the draught on the back of your head, leaving a bit of concern that some moisture may have been emitted....Had some old bint put her hand on mine, when I was holding onto a rail on the bus not that long ago. I was the only person holding the fucking rail at the time, so she obviously just thought I had the prime spot. Creepy wifey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted July 30, 2012 Report Share Posted July 30, 2012 Had some old bint put her hand on mine, when I was holding onto a rail on the bus not that long ago. I was the only person holding the fucking rail at the time, so she obviously just thought I had the prime spot. Creepy wifey.You do have pretty hands, though. At least, they look pretty through your bathroom window.xx 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skacel Posted July 30, 2012 Report Share Posted July 30, 2012 Aye, fucking hate space invaders.Pet hate: Smoke detector in the house deciding it had a low battery at 1am this morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skubbs Posted July 30, 2012 Report Share Posted July 30, 2012 You do have pretty hands, though. At least, they look pretty through your bathroom window.xxNice try, I live in a flat so neither bathroom has windows Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkaline Posted July 30, 2012 Report Share Posted July 30, 2012 You do have pretty hands, though. At least, they look pretty through your bathroom window.xxFor some reason this reminded me of a joke (i dunno why):Jeremy Beadle has a big cock, but on the other hand... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bob Knob Posted July 30, 2012 Report Share Posted July 30, 2012 Sainsburys.Q: "Do you have a Nectar Card?" (what you're supposed to say is "no" unless you have one).A: "Actually no but now might be a brilliant time to apply for one whilst there's a cunt-ton of people standing behind me at 5.30pm...let's do this".DID YOU EVER HEAR THE CONCEPT OF OTHER PEOPLE? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted July 31, 2012 Report Share Posted July 31, 2012 Nice try, I live in a flat so neither bathroom has windows Oh. Where's the flat?xx 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattJimF Posted July 31, 2012 Report Share Posted July 31, 2012 Not managing to get the toilet seat up before spewing (no drink involved), then having it go all over the seat, floor, wall and door (was impressed it got to the door).Now feel like shite, and Virgin is fucked so having to use a mobile dongle. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted July 31, 2012 Report Share Posted July 31, 2012 Not managing to get the toilet seat up before spewing (no drink involved), then having it go all over the seat, floor, wall and door (was impressed it got to the door).Now feel like shite, and Virgin is fucked so having to use a mobile dongle.Giggidy.xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattJimF Posted July 31, 2012 Report Share Posted July 31, 2012 yeah it's a pain when the virgin is no longer a virgin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross G Posted July 31, 2012 Report Share Posted July 31, 2012 Worriers.People who spend all their time worrying about something that probably doesn't matter that much.I used to be guilty of this.Now I sit back.If life wants to kick you in the crotch, it will do so , regardless of whether you're worried about it or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted July 31, 2012 Report Share Posted July 31, 2012 What if god kicks you in the crotch? xxxPet hate - the cat doing a shit so smelly it woke me up at 2am. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross G Posted July 31, 2012 Report Share Posted July 31, 2012 My cats do that every time I clean them out.The litter tray is literally clean for all of 30 seconds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted July 31, 2012 Report Share Posted July 31, 2012 My cats do that every time I clean them out.The litter tray is litterally clean for all of 30 seconds.PUN!xx 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moose Posted July 31, 2012 Report Share Posted July 31, 2012 Worriers.People who spend all their time worrying about something that probably doesn't matter that much.I used to be guilty of this.Now I sit back.If life wants to kick you in the crotch, it will do so , regardless of whether you're worried about it or not.This! I used to get so worried about everything from university exams, to relationships with girls, to my part-time job as a waiter. Now that I am in the "real world" in a reasonably high pressure job, with real life problems, I just don't seem to be phased by anything. Even things that I probably should be worried about. It's kind of great, but maybe I should be worried that I'm not worried. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross G Posted July 31, 2012 Report Share Posted July 31, 2012 PUN!xxIf there was a double like for that I'd be all over it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross G Posted July 31, 2012 Report Share Posted July 31, 2012 Same.I was told something very wise by a very drunk pal of mine which changed me."If life sucks, lay back an enjoy the beej".Crude, but wise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moose Posted July 31, 2012 Report Share Posted July 31, 2012 That just reminded me of the saying: "If life gives you lemons, I say fuck the lemons and bail." I believe Paul Rudd said it, but I can't remember what film. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Milner Posted July 31, 2012 Report Share Posted July 31, 2012 I dont think i have ever been a worrier, i've always been of the thought that things will work out eventually, you just need to ride the shit sometimes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.