Moose Posted November 25, 2011 Report Share Posted November 25, 2011 I find myself in trouble all the time for not replying to the wife. I was being sociable in the pub with my mates and I didn't hear my phone, okay?And then you hit her? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted November 25, 2011 Report Share Posted November 25, 2011 Girlfriends are being called bints now? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoney_stu Posted November 25, 2011 Report Share Posted November 25, 2011 We all managed quite happily before the things were invented ... so much stress ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gladstone Posted November 25, 2011 Report Share Posted November 25, 2011 And then you hit her?With the end of the phone. On the bridge of the nose. Obviously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted November 25, 2011 Report Share Posted November 25, 2011 Nope, just ours.edit; actually, normally just my mates, she's a horrible human being and none of us know why he's with her. but this a bit off tangent.Have you tried Moose's advice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Gold Posted November 25, 2011 Report Share Posted November 25, 2011 Did you also warn him that your patented 'knocked up surprise' break up strategy might not be for everyone? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skubbs Posted November 25, 2011 Report Share Posted November 25, 2011 I'd much rather be called bint, than wife or missus... Then again I take absolutely no offence when someone calls me a bitch, because I'm fully aware that I am a cunt most of the time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bob Knob Posted November 26, 2011 Report Share Posted November 26, 2011 Autoglass repair, Autogl...ONE MORE THING!FUCK. OFF. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Zero Posted November 28, 2011 Report Share Posted November 28, 2011 The wrapping used on Weetabix. I can't believe no-one can come up with a better system than that stupid plastic wrapping that you have to try and tear off as it is too tight to let the biscuits come out of easily and unless you have bowls a foot wide the crumbs go everywhere. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TR!ΔNGL€ T€€TH Posted November 28, 2011 Report Share Posted November 28, 2011 The wrapping used on Weetabix. I can't believe no-one can come up with a better system than that stupid plastic wrapping that you have to try and tear off as it is too tight to let the biscuits come out of easily and unless you have bowls a foot wide the crumbs go everywhere.Scissors? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maud 'dib Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 I hate Cats eating houseplants. I also hate cat's shitting in the wrong place, even when the litter tray is clearly notated with adequate signage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Zero Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 Scissors?I'm not sure they would assist tbh. If you are meaning to kind of cut down the side of the packet I think they would cause even more biscuit breakage on the way down. Slightly looser wrapping that allows the individual biscuits to be pushed out without demolishing them would suffice.Perhaps I should just follow the offshore canteen route and buy a cereal packet sized plastic tub to decant all the biscuits into... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 The pronounciation of the word 'wrath' as 'roth', irrespective of whether this is allegedly the correct pronounciation.People saying "these things come in threes". Some things do of course but it's not a rule of the universe. Someone I know will say this particularly if two perceived bad things have happened in a relatively close time. It will even be 'proved' when the next bad thing happens even if it's a month later. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Gold Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 I think the official offshore canteen route is to have 2 bacon and black pudding softies and complain about all the tomato sauce running out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Zero Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 Yeah it's not exactly a health-fest at times. Especially coming off nightshift and the only option for a decent feed is a fry up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 Orange. Thieving bastards.http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/phones/2011/11/orange-to-raise-monthly-mobile-costsHow about sticking to the terms people agreed to when they took up their contract you fucks?I don't mind coming to the end of the contract and they say I can renew but it will be 4.3% more expensive due to inflation. That's fine. But to jack up the prices 3 months into my contract and then say I don't have the right to cancel that OFCOM says I do is just wrong. Shocking way to treat customers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 Heinz Chicken Soup.I remember it being the source of all happiness when you're feeling shitty with the cold/flu. I had a tin in my office drawer as an emergency supply over the winter, incase I find myself ill at work. So today I'm sitting here, essentially a big ball of phlegm with a heartbeat, and I fire up the soup.It tasted like wet paper. Fucking disgusting.Fuck heinz chicken soup.xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 heinz have really let themselves go. Cream of Tomato used to be the bomb. Now it's tastes like syrup.I'm hooked on Cup-a-Soups at the moment. The chicken noodle one is pure mushy garbage, but I can't get enough. I'm a bad person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Gold Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 It's all about the Covent Garden soups lads. Get the Mexican chipotle chicken one and have a lunchtime fiesta. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkaline Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skacel Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 The new Heinz squeeze soup things are quite fine. I prefer them to cup a soups as they've got a bit more substance to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Gold Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 JAMBALAYA! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 Totally agree, i was extremely pissed off when i received a message yesterday letting me know i'd now be paying more and not have the option to cancel.I'll still stick with Orange at renewal though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flights Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 Thank fuck my contracts up as of yesterday fuck orange. They fucked me over last year when my iPhone got stolen from their repair shop. I had to pay my contract for 2 months with no phone as well as pay for the carriage for it to be fucking posted to me as I couldn't get to Aberdeen to collect it. Shower of shit eating wanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted November 29, 2011 Report Share Posted November 29, 2011 Apart from this, they've been nothing but helpful and kind to me and this small increase won't stop me going back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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