Pet Hates!

[Lemonade]

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Robbie Keane's 'forward roll, fire a gun' celebration. What a cunt.

[Alphas]

Right now Skybet is seriously getting on my tits!

[discotron]

Lidl. Lidl are BASTARDS. Total BASTARDS.

What gives, man? Why the crap don't they have hand-baskets? It's not the kind of place you can do your bigshop, because they just don't have the stock unless along with your Reshaped chicken, turkey and fishgut kievs and your frozen goat schnitzel you want to buy a frisbee, some wellington boots and a carjack... Being situated in Seaton, shoppers are made to feel criminalised, and you have to deposit a quid for a ruddy trolley. I didn't have any cash on me to secure my very own crime-free food prison, so I had to struggle with my own two mitts because this arsecandle of a supermarket doesn't have hand-baskets.

I grabbed as many things as I could manage, and then some; still missing a few items I needed to get... I made it to the checkouts in a sea of sweat. I thought I had heroicly made it over the finish line, and safety was only seconds away. As I put my last few items onto the belt, I dropped a bottle of steak sauce and a jar of big, fuck off, massive hotdogs that I was pretty excited about gnawing at tonight. Toshed. All over the floor. The hot dog jar was massive so it made a pretty impressive crashing sound. Everyones eyes are on me. The empoyees are yelling in Polish about how I'm probably a total crapsack, and for some poor soul to come out and clean it up who, I must add, was only supplied with some kitchen roll and a bucket. Poor show.

I didn't apologise though. I just huffed about how they should have handbaskets, because I'm brave.. What is even brave, is that I stepped back in to the store only a couple of hours later to get the items I couldn't manage, and also for the Hot Dogs that I really am pretty excited about. They are fucking massive. I had to buy baguettes to house them in because regular rolls are just too fucking PUNY!

So, there's my fearless tale about how Lidl are a bunch of shitclocks.

I think I love you. This post is fantastic.

[jcn]

I love the inventive use of insults: arsecandle, shitclock, ace!

[Soda Jerk]

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Robbie Keane's 'forward roll, fire a gun' celebration. What a cunt.

Be reasonable man. In reality, you're not going to have to witness it that much

BECAUSE HE DOESN'T SCORE MUCH! AMIRITE?!

[Alkaline]

Be reasonable man. In reality, you're not going to have to witness it that much

BECAUSE HE DOESN'T SCORE MUCH! AMIRITE?!

In a Liverpool shirt maybe. His scoring form for us is pretty good

[Guest idol_wild]

In a Liverpool shirt maybe. His scoring form for us is pretty good

Now now, twin brothers are meant to agree with eachother and share the same views.

[Soda Jerk]

Have you never watched Sister Sister?

[Soda Jerk]

I would also like to add: footballers when being interviewed using the phrase "I'm enjoying my football". I don't know what it is about it that riles me. Maybe it's because you're fulfilling the childhood dream of nearly every red blooded male. Or maybe it's because you get up quadruple the amount I will earn in a year every week, so you bloody better be enjoying it.

It also seems to be the footballer-interview-by-numbers response from a player who has made a return form injury or isn't hitting his expections. I don't understand what it really means. Do you ever really not enjoy your football? Possibly even hate it? Getting to do something alot of people do for leisure and recreation is something you should always enjoy, so just stop bloody saying it. Stop constantly itching your head and face too. You don't even have an itch, you're just absolute pish at public speaking.

Better yet, footballers shouldn't be allowed to speak, ever, to anyone. Except on the pitch, so Sky Sports shows the slow-mo instant reply of Wayne Rooney yelling "fuuuuuckkkk offfff yerrrr waaaankkorrrr".

My favourite one was actually when Michael Owen scored a goal earlier in the season (He did, he really scored a goal and it counted and everything!) by lobbing it over the keeper. The replay showed him in all his own narcissism shouting "Whaaaat a fuuuuucking fiiiinissssh!" Awesome.

[RossP]

I hate dreams (nightmares!?) where you lose one or more teeth.

Horrible.

[Soda Jerk]

I was informed that dreams about missing teeth means you're worrying about money. But I don't know how that could ever be proven or who it is that gets to decide stuff like this.

A cushy job titles at least though - Dream Decider. Slumber Analyst. There could probably be more.

[Guest idol_wild]

I would also like to add: footballers when being interviewed using the phrase "I'm enjoying my football". I don't know what it is about it that riles me. Maybe it's because you're fulfilling the childhood dream of nearly every red blooded male. Or maybe it's because you get up quadruple the amount I will earn in a year every week, so you bloody better be enjoying it.

It also seems to be the footballer-interview-by-numbers response from a player who has made a return form injury or isn't hitting his expections. I don't understand what it really means. Do you ever really not enjoy your football? Possibly even hate it? Getting to do something alot of people do for leisure and recreation is something you should always enjoy, so just stop bloody saying it. Stop constantly itching your head and face too. You don't even have an itch, you're just absolute pish at public speaking.

Better yet, footballers shouldn't be allowed to speak, ever, to anyone. Except on the pitch, so Sky Sports shows the slow-mo instant reply of Wayne Rooney yelling "fuuuuuckkkk offfff yerrrr waaaankkorrrr".

My favourite one was actually when Michael Owen scored a goal earlier in the season (He did, he really scored a goal and it counted and everything!) by lobbing it over the keeper. The replay showed him in all his own narcissism shouting "Whaaaat a fuuuuucking fiiiinissssh!" Awesome.

I'm fed up of telling you how much I enjoy your posts.

But I enjoy your posts. This thread has got the best out of you, and I am taking full credit for starting it.

Your final paragraph reminds me of a TV replay of Hibernian v Aberdeen in the Scottish Cup semi-final at Hampden a few years back. Andy Dow scored a beezer of a half-volley to put Aberdeen 2-1 and when the players embrace eachother after the goal (bunch of fags), Eoin Jess can clearly be seen to say "What a fucking strike, Andy!"

He wasn't wrong, though the goal looked much better at the game than it did on TV. And at least he wasn't festering in his own narcissism either.

I genuinely despise Michael Owen actually. He's a pet hate of mine. Cuntie.

[Soda Jerk]

I'm indifferent to him myself. He used to be a quality striker, but he seems to just have faded into an absolute nobody. He also recently committed his future to Newcastle now too. I hope he likes paycuts and 46 domestic games a season.

If they get relegated, I am certainly going to make the trip to Hillsborough to jeer at him when he plays us. Maybe I'll yell "what a fucking finish" in slow motion, to see if he remembers the good old days.

[Scootray]

Aberdeen Council Tax Office. Just had some jobsworth cunt on the phone who really couldn't be arsed with me by the sounds of things. Fuck you pal, I won't pay if that's your attitude.

Christ, is it really too much to ask to at least sound a little enthusiastic or even friendly? Twat.

[Guest idol_wild]

I'm pretty certain this has been mentioned before, but...

Old people.

They're slow, they smell horrendous and they generally get in my way and contribute nothing to society.

You've had your time, now please leave.

[Teabags]

I'm pretty certain this has been mentioned before, but...

Old people.

They're slow, they smell horrendous and they generally get in my way and contribute nothing to society.

You've had your time, now please leave.

Ja vol, mein Fuhrer.

[Surfer_Rosa]

Ja vol, mein Fuhrer.

I wish I hadn't just given you rep for saying I suck boab rather than this.

[Guest idol_wild]

Ja vol, mein Fuhrer.

Ha. Did you submit that as a tag a while back? I think it was a thread about tags.

If you did: Legend. I remember having sore stomach muscles after laughing so much at that tag.

Yes, my sense of humour is shit.

[Teabags]

Nah, wasn't me. I didn't add too many tags. I let others amuse with their witty additions.

[Jeanette]

School holidays. When I want/need to speak to teachers I can't get them... Making my reports super late because of stupid holidays!! Ha.

[Guest Tam o' Shantie]

when the guy that writes wwtdd.com plugs awful music or movies, under the guise that it's just another "because fuck them, that's why" post. why can't he just cut the bullshit and say "this movie comes out next week, go and see it" and everyone will read it and go "oh well, the guy's got to make some money somehow" and not "man, why is this guy asslicking this shit movie that he wouldn't watch in a million years"

[ca_gere]

when the guy that writes wwtdd.com plugs awful music or movies, under the guise that it's just another "because fuck them, that's why" post. why can't he just cut the bullshit and say "this movie comes out next week, go and see it" and everyone will read it and go "oh well, the guy's got to make some money somehow" and not "man, why is this guy asslicking this shit movie that he wouldn't watch in a million years"

I just had to google wwtdd.com and visit the site thereby fuelling this commercialised charade.

Pet Hate = myself!

[Alphas]

Those bluetooth hands free ear pieces.

I understand their functionality when you're driving (although they still annoy me then) but folk who wear them when they are out and about need a boot up the arse. I walked past a bloke on the way to work this morning who had one in and he looked a right fanny.

They are not a fashion accessory and unless you're Uhura from Star Trek...take it out!

[Guest Exposure @ Lemon Tree]

Those bluetooth hands free ear pieces.

I understand their functionality when you're driving (although they still annoy me then) but folk who wear them when they are out and about need a boot up the arse. I walked past a bloke on the way to work this morning who had one in and he looked a right fanny.

They are not a fashion accessory and unless you're Uhura from Star Trek...take it out!

Even worse than that - someone walking down the street, with their phone in their fucking hand, whilst talking into a hands free kit. Or holding the little mic on their hands free kit up to their mouth to speak into it.

That's not really HANDS FREE is it? Just hold the phone to your ear like a normal human being.

[Soda Jerk]

Alan Carr.

"What am I like?" is not a punch line, and even though you're gay, I doubt really as stupid as your anecdotes make us believe. I hate you Alan Carr. You're not funny.