DJ Jo-D Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 Lidl. Lidl are BASTARDS. Total BASTARDS.What gives, man? Why the crap don't they have hand-baskets? It's not the kind of place you can do your bigshop, because they just don't have the stock unless along with your Reshaped chicken, turkey and fishgut kievs and your frozen goat schnitzel you want to buy a frisbee, some wellington boots and a carjack... Being situated in Seaton, shoppers are made to feel criminalised, and you have to deposit a quid for a ruddy trolley. I didn't have any cash on me to secure my very own crime-free food prison, so I had to struggle with my own two mitts because this arsecandle of a supermarket doesn't have hand-baskets.I grabbed as many things as I could manage, and then some; still missing a few items I needed to get... I made it to the checkouts in a sea of sweat. I thought I had heroicly made it over the finish line, and safety was only seconds away. As I put my last few items onto the belt, I dropped a bottle of steak sauce and a jar of big, fuck off, massive hotdogs that I was pretty excited about gnawing at tonight. Toshed. All over the floor. The hot dog jar was massive so it made a pretty impressive crashing sound. Everyones eyes are on me. The empoyees are yelling in Polish about how I'm probably a total crapsack, and for some poor soul to come out and clean it up who, I must add, was only supplied with some kitchen roll and a bucket. Poor show.I didn't apologise though. I just huffed about how they should have handbaskets, because I'm brave.. What is even brave, is that I stepped back in to the store only a couple of hours later to get the items I couldn't manage, and also for the Hot Dogs that I really am pretty excited about. They are fucking massive. I had to buy baguettes to house them in because regular rolls are just too fucking PUNY!So, there's my fearless tale about how Lidl are a bunch of shitclocks.ha ha what a post! ever tried trolleys?I love lidls tho, usually use an empty box Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 I mentioned that I didn't have money for a trolley. I think if a yob was going to steal a trolley to push it down a hill and into the river, I think he or she would be alright with parting ways with a pound coin. I'm sure they could use their White Cider or Alcopop bottle opener to pry the pound coin out though, if they really wanted to.Besides, the trolleys with baby seats don't need a poind coin deposit, so the shellsuit mafia would probably just opt for that one anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashhh Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 Lidl. Lidl are BASTARDS. Total BASTARDS.What gives, man? Why the crap don't they have hand-baskets? It's not the kind of place you can do your bigshop, because they just don't have the stock unless along with your Reshaped chicken, turkey and fishgut kievs and your frozen goat schnitzel you want to buy a frisbee, some wellington boots and a carjack... Being situated in Seaton, shoppers are made to feel criminalised, and you have to deposit a quid for a ruddy trolley. I didn't have any cash on me to secure my very own crime-free food prison, so I had to struggle with my own two mitts because this arsecandle of a supermarket doesn't have hand-baskets.I grabbed as many things as I could manage, and then some; still missing a few items I needed to get... I made it to the checkouts in a sea of sweat. I thought I had heroicly made it over the finish line, and safety was only seconds away. As I put my last few items onto the belt, I dropped a bottle of steak sauce and a jar of big, fuck off, massive hotdogs that I was pretty excited about gnawing at tonight. Toshed. All over the floor. The hot dog jar was massive so it made a pretty impressive crashing sound. Everyones eyes are on me. The empoyees are yelling in Polish about how I'm probably a total crapsack, and for some poor soul to come out and clean it up who, I must add, was only supplied with some kitchen roll and a bucket. Poor show.I didn't apologise though. I just huffed about how they should have handbaskets, because I'm brave.. What is even brave, is that I stepped back in to the store only a couple of hours later to get the items I couldn't manage, and also for the Hot Dogs that I really am pretty excited about. They are fucking massive. I had to buy baguettes to house them in because regular rolls are just too fucking PUNY!So, there's my fearless tale about how Lidl are a bunch of shitclocks.haha, you should write a book about all the things you hate joe. i'd read it. or at the very least flick through it looking for pictures. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest idol_wild Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 haha, you should write a book about all the things you hate joe. i'd read it. or at the very least flick through it looking for pictures.I was going to suggest this actually.Aye, reading your book. Not flicking through it for pictures. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain America Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 Who the fuck nicks a handbasket?!Everyone apparantly.These were nice ones with little wheels and an extra handle you could use if you wanted to drag it around like you would a suitcase. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 haha, you should write a book about all the things you hate joe. i'd read it. or at the very least flick through it looking for pictures.It's been done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 haha, you should write a book about all the things you hate joe. i'd read it. or at the very least flick through it looking for pictures.There'd be no pictures. I fucking hate pictures. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 People who type the word "bollox". Fucking annoys the fuck out of me.Would it really kill you to press two more fucking keys? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scootray Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 There'd be no pictures. I fucking hate pictures.After a while, I'd imagine you'd hate your own book. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Exposure @ Lemon Tree Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 People who type the word "bollox". Fucking annoys the fuck out of me.Would it really kill you to press two more fucking keys?Things like "boi" are even worse. What's the point exactly? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scootray Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 coz tiz koool Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Exposure @ Lemon Tree Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 I mentioned that I didn't have money for a trolley. I think if a yob was going to steal a trolley to push it down a hill and into the river, I think he or she would be alright with parting ways with a pound coin. I'm sure they could use their White Cider or Alcopop bottle opener to pry the pound coin out though, if they really wanted to.Besides, the trolleys with baby seats don't need a poind coin deposit, so the shellsuit mafia would probably just opt for that one anyway.I suggest if you don't have a pound next time - just take a trolley with a baby seat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 Things like "boi" are even worse. What's the point exactly?lol u iz 2 old 4 internet granda. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scootray Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 ...And pretend your talking to your baby in the seat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Exposure @ Lemon Tree Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 lol u iz 2 old 4 internet granda.Don't make me come over there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scootray Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 lol u iz 2 old 4 internet granda.So iz u. tiz called internetz now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WoodyRATM Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 TyPiNg liKe ThIs AnNoYs Me AlOt. also morons who say words like hw r yooh? or meh instead of me etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Exposure @ Lemon Tree Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 Fucking losers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Neck Man Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 People who say "t'internet".It's INTERNET Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest idol_wild Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 People who say "t'internet".It's INTERNET Not if you're from Yorkshire.Which we all are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Milner Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 everything about the playlist northsound has on all day and Gregsy...oh wait i cant say that can i? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 T'internet is an example of a pretty acceptable regional dialect in Yorkshire and Lancashire, which is used when the word 'The' is replaced with a T sound before a word which starts with a vowel or a H. It's alright to dislike it though, because it is a bit fruity. Besides... They'd probably have something to say about all this "I da'ken fit t'dee" nonsense. When I first moved here, it took me a while to realise that Ken isn't a really person, and I'm certainly not ever going to meet him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Milner Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 T'internet is an example of a pretty acceptable regional dialect in Yorkshire and Lancashire, which is used when the word 'The' is replaced with a T sound before a word which starts with a vowel or a H. It's alright to dislike it though, because it is a bit fruity. Besides... They'd probably have something to say about all this "I da'ken fit t'dee" nonsense. When I first moved here, it took me a while to realise that Ken isn't a really person, and I'm certainly not ever going to meet him.haha your posts have been brilliant these past few days! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TelecasterSam Posted April 3, 2009 Report Share Posted April 3, 2009 T'internet is an example of a pretty acceptable regional dialect in Yorkshire and Lancashire, which is used when the word 'The' is replaced with a T sound before a word which starts with a vowel or a H. It's alright to dislike it though, because it is a bit fruity. Besides... They'd probably have something to say about all this "I da'ken fit t'dee" nonsense. When I first moved here, it took me a while to realise that Ken isn't a really person, and I'm certainly not ever going to meet him.Ha Ha, I had exactly the same problem !I was also confused over the use of "in-tilt" and "Fit like?" for a while too !Its a funny old world..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aekido Posted April 4, 2009 Report Share Posted April 4, 2009 When I first moved here, it took me a while to realise that Ken isn't a really person, and I'm certainly not ever going to meet him.da ken fit yi mean like Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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