ca_gere Posted March 20, 2014 Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 En route has always bugged me but it's understandable. Somewhat related, I just read someone's status that included the words 'sioux chef'. That one's a doozy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfer_Rosa Posted March 20, 2014 Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 What if he was talking about a Native American chef? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted March 20, 2014 Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 I had considered that but seeing as the context was going out for a meal, I banished the thought. That and the fact that she's a clueless bint. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted March 20, 2014 Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 I had considered that but seeing as the context was going out for a meal with Sitting Bull, the Sioux Chief? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattJimF Posted March 20, 2014 Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 Interfering mother-in-laws. When we moved we had a tv stand we left in the old house which we put on eBay. My mother-in-law decided that she would sell it to someone who came to clean the carpets, so I know have to apologise to the guy and refund the money. I could add more but there's just too much to complain about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted March 20, 2014 Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 Interfering mother-in-laws. When we moved we had a tv stand we left in the old house which we put on eBay. My mother-in-law decided that she would sell it to someone who came to clean the carpets, so I know have to apologise to the guy and refund the money.I could add more but there's just too much to complain about. My mother-in-law seems to think we're incapable of feeding ourselves. Every time she comes up she brings bags of frozen food and jars of stir in sauce or celebrity chef seasonings that she's spotted in M&S. Fuck knows how she thinks we survive without her weird pies made with filo pastry and Jamie Oliver chiilli salt. If we invite them round for lunch she even brings food despite us saying we'd cook something! Her cakes are good though, she can keep bringing those. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirsten Posted March 20, 2014 Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 Slugs. Fuck off you horrible little bastards. I have a sort of "phobia" of the slimy little cunts, but in that I just don't like the look of them. Or so I thought. Last night, I was filling up my wood pellet boiler out in the shed and felt something on my hand - looked down and it was a tiny little slug on my hand. I freaked out and had to go inside to wash the fuck out of my hands about 5 times. I was uptight for about an hour and a half afterwards. Turns out the phobia is a real thing. I'm getting a bit hot under the collar just typing this, so I'll stop. When I was little, I was clambering over the fence behind our house and when I was reaching to pull myself up, I accidentally put my hand right on top of a slug that was there and totally freaked out. I ran back inside and did the same as you and kept cringing for ages afterwards. Thinking about it still makes me shudder. Slug bastards. Ever since I have never absent-mindedly held onto railings for fear of accidentally touching a slug. Or impaling my hand on a spike, but that's something else. Interfering mother-in-laws. When we moved we had a tv stand we left in the old house which we put on eBay. My mother-in-law decided that she would sell it to someone who came to clean the carpets, so I know have to apologise to the guy and refund the money.I could add more but there's just too much to complain about. Ughhh... Sounds like my sister's. Her and my brother-in-law's TV broke towards the end of last year, so they decided they'd have to buy a new one and mentioned it in conversation to his mum. A close friend of her's had just died and she inherited a lot of his stuff. He had quite a new TV and said that they could buy that off of her for cheaper than a new one and they agreed to it. A few weeks later, they asked when they could pick it up and she said that she'd ended up selling it. They didn't mind too much and just bought a new one like they'd originally planned. Again, they casually mentioned this a few days later to the mother-in-law and she got all huffy and said, "Oh... Well, I was keeping [her friend's] TV to surprise you with at Christmas." then didn't speak to them for a few weeks. Mintal. What else were they going to do when she told them she'd gotten rid of it?Fortunately, my boyfriend's mum is brilliant, so I have to live vicariously through my sister's tales of fury. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted March 20, 2014 Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 I love this family feud shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattJimF Posted March 20, 2014 Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 (edited) My mother-in-law seems to think we're incapable of feeding ourselves. Every time she comes up she brings bags of frozen food and jars of stir in sauce or celebrity chef seasonings that she's spotted in M&S. Fuck knows how she thinks we survive without her weird pies made with filo pastry and Jamie Oliver chiilli salt. If we invite them round for lunch she even brings food despite us saying we'd cook something!Her cakes are good though, she can keep bringing those.We keep getting juice with either mint or ginger in it. The day after my wife had given birth I came home to find her cooking cauliflower cheese as she read it was good for breastfeeding. My wife wasn't too happy when I brought her home. Edited March 20, 2014 by MattJimF Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skacel Posted March 20, 2014 Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 Another one from a few months back: When you're on a plane and the person in front of you puts their seat back, creating more space for themselves by taking space away from you, without acknowledging your existence. One minute I'm enjoying Captain Phillips, the next Tom Hanks is squashed against my face. I'm astounded there aren't more air rage incidents on long flights.I had one recently where the cunt in front had his seat back before the fucking plane had taken off. Not only is he pissing me off but he's also breaking the law. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted March 20, 2014 Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 I've disowned my whole family because my wife's mother-in-law is a toxic, manipulative sociopath. Insisted on referring to my wife as "that creature" among other things. A few years back my wife's friend/on-again-off-again-ex killed himself - my mum and sister said they thought it was HER fault, and also blamed her for me having mental health problems, despite having struggled with them since I was a tween. Mental bastards. The grand irony is that I've never really spoken to my family, when I first got with my wife she basically FORCED me to reconnect with them (I wanted to just ignore their calls and see them for Christmas and at funerals) so I did - I made an effort and started to build a relationship with them and all the while they fucking HATED my wife and blamed HER for the fact that we didn't talk much....?! xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skacel Posted March 20, 2014 Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 I love this family feud shit.I preferred Family Fortunes with Les Dennis 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted March 20, 2014 Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 I've disowned my whole family because my wife's mother-in-law is a toxic, manipulative sociopath. Insisted on referring to my wife as "that creature" among other things. A few years back my wife's friend/on-again-off-again-ex killed himself - my mum and sister said they thought it was HER fault, and also blamed her for me having mental health problems, despite having struggled with them since I was a tween. Mental bastards. The grand irony is that I've never really spoken to my family, when I first got with my wife she basically FORCED me to reconnect with them (I wanted to just ignore their calls and see them for Christmas and at funerals) so I did - I made an effort and started to build a relationship with them and all the while they fucking HATED my wife and blamed HER for the fact that we didn't talk much....?! xx That sounds intense. Is it just your mum or your whole family? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted March 20, 2014 Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 Whole lot of 'em. My mum and sister were the worst for it - as much as I hated my old man growing up, he's the only one who wasn't a total sack of shit in the whole affair - but I couldn't form any kind of relationship with him or even have a conversation without it harping back to a guilt trip about why I don't talk to my mum. My aunties, cousins, uncles etc I've never been close to. Our family has always had these fucking rifts and falling outs and I'm-not-talking-to-him's so I just took it one step further. The whole thing started because I didn't go to my nieces first birthday - told my sister I'd been having panic attacks and wasn't up for being around lots of people, so asked if it was OK for me to come over in the early afternoon, see them and the sprog and then bugger off before the hoard of well-wishers appeared... She LOST.HER.SHIT. Then it became a flame war, then the shit that they'd been saying behind our backs all came out. Afterwards, they expected me to just forgive and forget... like they were the victims and I was overreacting. Cuntrags. xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfer_Rosa Posted March 20, 2014 Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 Well Stroopy um ... wins(?) this Pet Hate. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted March 20, 2014 Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 Yeah. Kind of makes my Pet Hate about the fucking singing tiger in my office seem insignificant. Bad news Stroops. I hope you can sort your differences out one day. Families are retards but I'd be lost without mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted March 21, 2014 Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 VICTORY IS MINE. S'cool - I've made my peace with the whole thing. Even when we were on "speaking terms" it was just Christmases and funerals. My old man is pro-BNP and has more than one boasted about his youthful days "gay-bashing". It's not a huge loss! Today's pet hate: having fuck all to do at work. I'm in a new job now and was in training all week, being shipped off to Norway next week for more training but today I'm in the office with no training to do and no work to get stuck into. I'm bored already! xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted March 21, 2014 Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 (edited) AGFW was in kitchen this morning. Massive bowl of cereal and an oversized cup of tea next to him. I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but it grinds my gears that he never finishes either. Usually a half eaten bowl of cereal and 3 half cups of tea on his desk at the end of the day. "It got cold." Then make a smaller cup adn drink it faster. ANYWAY...today in the kitchen I go "Is there any milk?" and he hands me the last carton with a dribble in it. Thanks. Go ahead, use all the last of it for th breakfast you won't fucking finish and screw everyone else.Fuck Stroopy, he can at least disown his family. I see this guy everyday.Just kidding about the fuck stroopy thing, that's pretty harsh. Edited March 21, 2014 by Teabags 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted March 21, 2014 Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 AGFW was in kitchen this morning. Massive bowl of cereal and an oversized cup of tea next to him. I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but it grinds my gears that he never finishes either. Usually a half eaten bowl of cereal and 3 half cups of tea on his desk at the end of the day. "It got cold." Then make a smaller cup adn drink it faster. ANYWAY...today in the kitchen I go "Is there any milk?" and he hands me the last carton with a dribble in it. Thanks. Go ahead, use all the last of it for th breakfast you won't fucking finish and screw everyone else.Fuck Stroopy, he can at least disown his family. I see this guy everyday.Just kidding about the fuck stroopy thing, that's pretty harsh. Had a couple of those fuckers at my old work too - normal sized cereal bowl but they'd fill it to the BRIM with milk, then once the cereal is finished they'd pour the remaining half-bowl of milk down the fucking sink. xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Milner Posted March 21, 2014 Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 We have worse, we have a particular person who will sniff every carton of milk when its opened to see if its off, yesterday she opened a brand new milk, had a smell and decided that it was off and started pouring it down the sink, i stopped her and argued that there was nothing wrong with it and she got in a huge strop over not going anywhere near the milk as it was off, I used it for my coffee then wrote my name on the milk and when everyone ran out of milk in the morning, i had for the rest of the day, stupid idiot had to drive to ASDA to buy more milk for everyone else. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted March 21, 2014 Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 Nae danger of this bloke driving to Asda. He'd literally go for another cup of tea, cos his one got cold before he finished it, and say "Can you believe it, there's no milk!?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skacel Posted March 21, 2014 Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 Eating breakfast at work should be banned. Get up earlier if you want breakfast you lazy cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted March 21, 2014 Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 Fuck that. Breakfast at work is great! Just don't be cunty with shared resources! xx 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted March 21, 2014 Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 I have breakfast at work every day. I have to leave the house at 7am so fuck getting up for breakfast. My morning routine is planned around getting as much extra time in bed as possible. I make a cup of coffee before I go in the shower so it's cool enough to drink when I get out, my clothes are all ironed and laid out, my lunch is made and packed and ready to pick up and run, keys at the back of the door, iPod and day requirements already in my bag and ready to go. Start work at 8, coffee and bagels at 9.30. Stop trying to oppress me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Milner Posted March 21, 2014 Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 I have breakfast at work every day. I get up in time to take the dog out and have a coffee then head to work, and get my breakfast from the van that comes round, nothing beats getting paid to eat breakfast Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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