Jump to content
aberdeen-music

Pet Hates!


Guest idol_wild

Recommended Posts

Wirelessly posted (SonyEricssonK770i/R8BC Browser/NetFront/3.3 Profile/MIDP-2.0 Configuration/CLDC-1.1)

Wirelessly posted (SonyEricssonK770i/R8BC Browser/NetFront/3.3 Profile/MIDP-2.0 Configuration/CLDC-1.1)

Yoghurt. How do i manage to spill it on my tie EVERY day?

I love it when you post on this thread from your phone, makes me think something has happened and you immediately wapped out your phone to come on here and tell everyone about it. However i know i'm wrong.

It usually just means i'm real fucking bored, and have nothing better to do than browse the forums on my phone. Often i'm taking a shit at the time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wirelessly posted (SonyEricssonK770i/R8BC Browser/NetFront/3.3 Profile/MIDP-2.0 Configuration/CLDC-1.1)

Wirelessly posted (SonyEricssonK770i/R8BC Browser/NetFront/3.3 Profile/MIDP-2.0 Configuration/CLDC-1.1)

Yoghurt. How do i manage to spill it on my tie EVERY day?

Does it stain?

I bet it's really jizz...

Why would i jizz on my ties?! I mean i like my ties, but not that much. It's not like i open my tie drawer and jizz all over them, like some kind of tangled menswear orgy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wirelessly posted (SonyEricssonK770i/R8BC Browser/NetFront/3.3 Profile/MIDP-2.0 Configuration/CLDC-1.1)

like some kind of tangled menswear orgy.

That phrase has put an image in my head of a bunch of 'suits you sir' slaters assistants writhing around in a mess of tape measures, putting shoe horns in places not meant for haberdashery.

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest idol_wild
Wirelessly posted (SonyEricssonK770i/R8BC Browser/NetFront/3.3 Profile/MIDP-2.0 Configuration/CLDC-1.1)

Why would i jizz on my ties?! I mean i like my ties, but not that much. It's not like i open my tie drawer and jizz all over them, like some kind of tangled menswear orgy.

Well why would you spill yoghurt on your ties? I never suggested it was intentional.

Same principle as the yoghurt - misguided trajectory, innit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest idol_wild

While I'm here:

Drivers who are too lazy to indicate but then have the fucking temerity to toot their horn and call me all the fucking wankers under the sun, augmented fully by aggressive hand signals, when they have to slow down because I'm crossing the road they're turning in to.

ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS SLOW DOWN AND INDICATE YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING CLOWN SHOES.

If I was a driver, I'd suffer from Road Rage. I suffer from Pavement Rage as it is.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Tam o' Shantie
Bathroom/Toilet doors that can be unlocked from the outside...

Fucking annoying - Especially when you are trying to stick it up a female at a party and her pissed mate opens it from the outside to spoil it.

OMG you're such a lothario

Link to comment
Share on other sites

fucking, bollocking, wanky periods!!!!!
Swollen with liquid

Ready to burst

A load of my lymph

Will quench this dead body's thirst

One month in the grave

twisted and half decayed

She turned a putrid yellow

I pissed in her maggot filled asshole

Fucking the rotting

My semen is bleeding

The smell of decay

Seeps from her genital cavity

The smell was unbearable

As I unburied her

I cum blood from my erection

I feel it run

down her throat, swallow

Eyes glassy and vacant

body dug up to play with

Skin greasy and naked

tounguing her rotted anus

I need a live woman

to fill with my fluid

A delicate girl, to mutilate, fuck and kill

her body exceptional

she thought I was normal

but I wanted more

I came blood inside of her

chocking on the clot

gagging on the snot

gushing blood, from her mouth

bloody gel leaking out

Body buried in a shallow grave

Unmarked for none to find

The sickness I have left behind

Undetected go my crimes

The greatest thrill of my life

Violent, climax

Serging serum

on my skin

Back from the dead

I am resurrected

to spew, putrefaction

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest idol_wild
I don't think you can really call the riffs in Lily Allen songs "killer", can you?

Well they may entice people to kill themselves, so I'd say yes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest treader.
Radio DJ's who waffle on over the instrumental intros to songs, and stop as the vocals come in, as if the music isn't really important.

Missing killer riffs.

I thought I told you...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Radio DJ's who waffle on over the instrumental intros to songs, and stop as the vocals come in, as if the music isn't really important.

Missing killer riffs.

Radios that play the same 5 songs all day :swearing: ditched Radio1 for Absolute again :)

Hairdresser's small talk,

Fuck off, you made an absolute rats' afro of my hair last time, CONCENTRATE!

ha ha we have a friend who hairdresses and is a non-stop yap....everyone's always slightly concerned for their hairdoo's - specially when getting ti chopped at a friends with wine on the go!! haha

My biggest month pet hate - 5 Week months :( Roll on Friday

Link to comment
Share on other sites

While I'm here:

Drivers who are too lazy to indicate but then have the fucking temerity to toot their horn and call me all the fucking wankers under the sun, augmented fully by aggressive hand signals, when they have to slow down because I'm crossing the road they're turning in to.

If you're on the road by the time they turn into it you have right of way, true story. Though I'd like to see someone point that out as the car runs them over...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hairdresser's small talk,

Fuck off, you made an absolute rats' afro of my hair last time, CONCENTRATE!

"Where you going on holiday this year?"

Reply: "I'm not going on holiday and before you ask I haven't been on a holiday in five years."

one that pissed me off was:

"Oh I see your hairline is starting to recede."

Reply: "Oh is it really?!" o_O

That's hardly good hairdresser talk.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...