Monster Zero Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 I once saw an old lady eat a handful of grapes straight off the fruit display. Not just one cheeky grape; A HANDFUL OF GRAPES. Baffling.We can but hope that the unrinsed grapes exposed her to some germ that caused an explosive bout of the shits that possibly would be unnoticed dependent on the capacity of her huge pants and/or thickness of her old lady dark brown tights. Being an old lady that may have been a daily occurence anyway but still. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Zero Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 Saw a family of minks chomping down on hot chicken from the deli counter while walking round the shop once though, gadz min. See those chickens are delicious but inevitably lead to greasy hands. Their greasy hands must have clarted everything, gads. There should be vigilante supermarket shotguns available for these things. It would be like 'Dawn of the Dead' with zombies replaced by tinks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfer_Rosa Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 Bigsby Jr doesn't ask for sweets in the supermarket, he asks for a baguette which he scoops all the soft bread out of as we go round the store. Yes, I hand over a hollow baguette at the checkout and pay for it. But because he's a little kid I get "aw, cute" etc instead of "stop thief!".Saw a family of minks chomping down on hot chicken from the deli counter while walking round the shop once though, gadz min. He'd have got none of that sympathy shit from me when I worked in a supermarket. My standard response to "Oh I opened these up for him cos he couldn't wait the 5 more minutes it took to finish my shopping, that's not a problem is it, hahahha" was a death glare and silence. Possibly try and overcharge them a bit too if they seemed especially like twats.I didn't suit customer service very well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 He'd have got none of that sympathy shit from me when I worked in a supermarket. My standard response to "Oh I opened these up for him cos he couldn't wait the 5 more minutes it took to finish my shopping, that's not a problem is it, hahahha" was a death glare and silence. Possibly try and overcharge them a bit too if they seemed especially like twats.I didn't suit customer service very wellAye, I think if it was something like sweets or fizzy drinks that he wanted he would get less sympathy, but folk seem to find it amusing that this little three year old sits in the trolley chomping on a loaf of bread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfer_Rosa Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 Aye, I think if it was something like sweets or fizzy drinks that he wanted he would get less sympathy, but folk seem to find it amusing that this little three year old sits in the trolley chomping on a loaf of bread.Yeah something that doesn't need to actually be scanned isn't as annoying. Being handed an empty wrapper smeared in melted chocolate and drool most definitely fucking is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 Sounds like a good lad. Bread is fucking ace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 Sounds like a good lad. Bread is fucking ace.Baguettes are definitely better than ordinary bread. France 1 Britain 0. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 Only if part baked. Tough crusts don't get on with gums. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Easy Wishes Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 Only if part baked. Tough crusts don't get on with gums.Never has a truer word been spoken. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 Sounds like a good lad. Bread is fucking ace.Unless it's Kingsmill. Fucking GADS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 Bread is fucking ace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain America Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 Some cunt mother handed me a banana skin when I used to work at a supermarket checkout. Aw cheers lady. That's going to work with the weighing system.Bitch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeanette Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 Ordering holiday money online. Didn't think it would be so complicated to get a prepaid card but because my bank pay it cash advance I can't get the whole amount for the card to be delivered because it's over my daily withdrawal limit. My credit card also wouldn't process (which I'm quite glad about because there was a whopping 12 of charges to use it) with no reason why. The bank have said there isn't a problems so I've had to order it to pick up at the airport on the day I leave and to pay it in cash!! Too close for comfort!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest idol_wild Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 Bread is fucking ace.Warburton Thick Sliced White Toastie bread, please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 Ordering holiday money online. Didn't think it would be so complicated to get a prepaid card but because my bank pay it cash advance I can't get the whole amount for the card to be delivered because it's over my daily withdrawal limit. My credit card also wouldn't process (which I'm quite glad about because there was a whopping 12 of charges to use it) with no reason why. The bank have said there isn't a problems so I've had to order it to pick up at the airport on the day I leave and to pay it in cash!! Too close for comfort!!I went away to Bulgaria a couple of weeks ago, first thing on a Saturday morning. I was planning using the cashpoints in Bulgaria and not bothering to change my money. As I was sitting in the airport however, I realised that I'd left all my spending money in my savings account, which I don't have a card for, and thus had no money in my current account. I phoned my flatmate and asked him to log into my online banking and transfer it for me, only he kept putting in the wrong passwords and locked me out of online banking. All I could do was wait and call the bank first thing Monday morning. Thus I went away to Bulgaria with a tenner in my pocket, which had to last two days. That was beyond too close for comfort! (Thankfully my girlfriend had had the good sense to change some money and kept me fed and watered until I could get my own.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 Warburton Thick Sliced White Toastie bread, please.Hell yes. The Super Toastie one that comes in the green packet is just immense too. My favourite bread.'Medium' bread is fucking gash. Makes shit toast. Makes shit sandwiches. It just lasts longer because the slices are like paper. I have no problem with Kingsmill either, but Warburtons is king. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 I went away to Bulgaria a couple of weeks ago, first thing on a Saturday morning. I was planning using the cashpoints in Bulgaria and not bothering to change my money. As I was sitting in the airport however, I realised that I'd left all my spending money in my savings account, which I don't have a card for, and thus had no money in my current account. I phoned my flatmate and asked him to log into my online banking and transfer it for me, only he kept putting in the wrong passwords and locked me out of online banking. All I could do was wait and call the bank first thing Monday morning. Thus I went away to Bulgaria with a tenner in my pocket, which had to last two days. That was beyond too close for comfort! (Thankfully my girlfriend had had the good sense to change some money and kept me fed and watered until I could get my own.)Sounds like you had alot of bad luck with your jollys, with your expired passport and whatnot too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkaline Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 Sounds like you had alot of bad luck with your jollys, with your expired passport and whatnot too.Bad luck or absentmindedness? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 Bad luck or absentmindedness?The second one, without a doubt. I tend to leave everything til the last minute and then not have time to sort stuff out if there are problems Disorganised till the bitter end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fraser Mac Posted October 4, 2010 Report Share Posted October 4, 2010 Wank venues do my nut in.Dexters currently.Being asked to Play a show 2 months in advance, then finding a week before the gig the flyers are up without your band on them, and having no emails about changes is wank.Me: "Thanks for letting us know were off the Azriel gig with 10 days notice.Extremely professional."Dexters -"You were never confirmed, grow up."You might think im being a twat about this, but what if none of us had seen the poster?We would have taken days off work (Loosing money none of us can afford not to make) and wasted 50ish on petrol money all because a promoter is dicking about.Not cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeinzHines Posted October 5, 2010 Report Share Posted October 5, 2010 Loosing money none of us can afford not to makeI feel your pain, but that is a huge pet hate of mine right bloody there (highlighted in bold). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted October 5, 2010 Report Share Posted October 5, 2010 Fucking shitty MCs/DJs talking over dubstep mixes. I don't mind if the UNCZ have a mix up, cos the UNCZ are ace. I also don't mind Pete Tong or Mary Anne Hobbs coming in once in a while and saying what you're listening to. But random shitty MCing is fucking annoying. Kiss are especially bad. "Shout out to the Bolton massive. Text in, yeah?!" Shut the fuck up. Luckily he shut the fuck up when Mala was on, or that would have been criminal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Easy Wishes Posted October 5, 2010 Report Share Posted October 5, 2010 Individual urinals where the flush is controlled by a sensor.Excuse me, but I would like to finish urinating before the flush starts and splashes specks of water (and my own piss) all over my trousers. Every time I go it's the same.I'll be using a cubicle for a piss before long to get over this flushing nonsense and then it'll be a sit-down piss (lazyness) and it's all downhill from there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted October 5, 2010 Report Share Posted October 5, 2010 I always use the cubicle. There's always peakers at the urinals. I've spotted them. Pissing away, judging, comparing. Eyes forward, yeah? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain America Posted October 5, 2010 Report Share Posted October 5, 2010 I always use the cubicle. There's always peakers at the urinals. I've spotted them. Pissing away, judging, comparing. Eyes forward, yeah?A dude at my work tried to speak to me at the urinal today AND tried to make eye contact at the same time.Disgusting. I kept eyes forward and ignored him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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