Flights Posted January 21, 2013 Report Share Posted January 21, 2013 Best frape:OMG my brother accidently penetrated me!!!!!!!!! Last night my friend Stephanie came over to my flat to have a few drinks with me and my brother and his friend Mike. All of us got pretty drunk and decided it would be funny to play naked Twister. Eventually we were all naked and I was bent over with my hands on the mat and my bum in the air, and my brother was behind me. I happen to look up between my legs and noticed my brother was staring at Stephanie and had a bit of a hard-on. When it came time to make the next move, Mike lost his balance and fell. He bumped into my brother as he fell and my brother fell against me, and as we fell his penis slipped inside me. He wasn't in me for more than few seconds and we both got up again quickly. Neither one of us said anything and he hasn't mentioned it again. I'm freaked out though! Should I say anything? What should I do?See I don't think that is a good frape at all. I think the best frapes are ones that people actually believe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkaline Posted January 21, 2013 Report Share Posted January 21, 2013 See I don't think that is a good frape at all. I think the best frapes are ones that people actually believe.Are you Stephanie's friend? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted January 21, 2013 Report Share Posted January 21, 2013 Agree about the believable ones.The best are the ones where you change their birthday. Change it to like...in a weeks time. In all likelihood they'll have no clue and neither will all the people that start posting "happy birthday" on their wall, annoying the fuck out of them cos it's not their birthday. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted January 21, 2013 Report Share Posted January 21, 2013 My go-to is to change their occupation to "Dick-Farmer" at Billy's house of Love. Or something.#HILARIOUS.xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flights Posted January 21, 2013 Report Share Posted January 21, 2013 Are you Stephanie's friend?I'm Stephanie's friends brother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flights Posted January 21, 2013 Report Share Posted January 21, 2013 Agree about the believable ones.The best are the ones where you change their birthday. Change it to like...in a weeks time. In all likelihood they'll have no clue and neither will all the people that start posting "happy birthday" on their wall, annoying the fuck out of them cos it's not their birthday.Another great one I've seen is "Thanks for all the messages congratulating me on my new job". Everyone will jump on the bandwagon and start saying well done and the like. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted January 21, 2013 Report Share Posted January 21, 2013 I'm Stephanie's friends brother.You slipped it to yer sis? I couldn't blame you xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted January 21, 2013 Report Share Posted January 21, 2013 The only time I ever fraped someone was to write "Ran 10K this morning, beat my PB" coz he kept going on about people posting gym/exercise related stuff. The only reply was his dad saying 'Did ye fuck!' I feel it went well. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain America Posted January 21, 2013 Report Share Posted January 21, 2013 Changed someone who is quite Catholic Irish family to Praise Allah. Apparently she got all sorts of questions about it. Winner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Android Posted January 22, 2013 Report Share Posted January 22, 2013 Speaking of facebook bantz friends of mine once hilariously liked absolutely loads of pages I have no interest in. I spent ages unliking them. But the joke's on them now as I am the one with an offer of a free dessert at the Fishmonger's seafood cafe in Plano, Texas.Everything's coming up Milhouse. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Zero Posted January 22, 2013 Report Share Posted January 22, 2013 CD's that refuse to load onto iTunes, seems to be happening more and more with the stuff I'm buying just now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 CD's that refuse to load onto iTunes, seems to be happening more and more with the stuff I'm buying just now.Apple's final solutionsPhase 1: Eliminate the record stores.Phase 2: Stop allowing CDs to be ripped so they have to buy from iTunes store.Phase 3: THE WORLD! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 Getting groceries wrong.Go to supermarket, have a week's worth of dinners in mind and the respective shopping lists, buy groceries, get home, eat crap instead of planned dinners all week, throw out loads of veg at the end of the week. I don't think I've ever eaten every single item of food I've bought for the week.Whilst i'm on the subject: when a supermarket has light/lite versions and flavored versions but no actual versions of a product. Mayo for instance. Light mayo can fuck right off as can chipotle mayo (which is lovely but not when I'm looking for real mayo).Most 'with a hint of...' products can fuck off too. If you're gonna be flavored do it 100%. see tortilla chips...with a hint of lime, fizzy water... with a hint of peach. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Zero Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 Apple's final solutionsPhase 1: Eliminate the record stores.Phase 2: Stop allowing CDs to be ripped so they have to buy from iTunes store.Phase 3: THE WORLD!Sadly I think you are right, we are heading for a possible world where everything is sold digitally - music, books, films. No manufacturing costs, no need to deliver physical items. Glad I've got lots of films and music at home, will just live in the past I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skubbs Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 Getting groceries wrong.Go to supermarket, have a week's worth of dinners in mind and the respective shopping lists, buy groceries, get home, eat crap instead of planned dinners all week, throw out loads of veg at the end of the week. I don't think I've ever eaten every single item of food I've bought for the week.Whilst i'm on the subject: when a supermarket has light/lite versions and flavored versions but no actual versions of a product. Mayo for instance. Light mayo can fuck right off as can chipotle mayo (which is lovely but not when I'm looking for real mayo).Most 'with a hint of...' products can fuck off too. If you're gonna be flavored do it 100%. see tortilla chips...with a hint of lime, fizzy water... with a hint of peach.I get around this by not buying crap and being super strict when I go shopping boring, but effective. Except when I'm at work, and I will give in and go to the baker instead of eating my homemade healthy lunch. My workmate doesn't take her purse to work to stop her from buying shite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted January 23, 2013 Report Share Posted January 23, 2013 I get around this by not buying crap and being super strict when I go shopping boring, but effective. Except when I'm at work, and I will give in and go to the baker instead of eating my homemade healthy lunch. My workmate doesn't take her purse to work to stop her from buying shite.If only that were the problem... What happens to me is: Ill have a recipe for a nice stirfry or something. What I'll actually eat on that day is: egg fried rice with diced ham and soy sauce. All actual ingredients of said stir fry but just an easier, unhealthier version. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattJimF Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 If only that were the problem... What happens to me is: Ill have a recipe for a nice stirfry or something. What I'll actually eat on that day is: egg fried rice with diced ham and soy sauce. All actual ingredients of said stir fry but just an easier, unhealthier version.I used to get fresh veg, but as most of it would get chucked I now have frozen veg, which if I don't use just gets used at another point in time, probably the best change I've made since moving up to Edinburgh Mon-Fri. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
framheim Posted January 27, 2013 Report Share Posted January 27, 2013 "Staff members may not be ignored"fuck sake. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted January 30, 2013 Report Share Posted January 30, 2013 Being ill when off work on annual leave. What a cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted February 1, 2013 Report Share Posted February 1, 2013 Bellends on Ebay. Bought some speakers last weekend. Got them from a great price. Chuffed, I was. Since then, the seller has been completely incommunicado. No "hey, thanks for bidding. will post on suchandsuch...". No "here's the tracking details". Nothing. Then, out of the blue, they arrive today. By Yodel. An actual person has chosen Yodel on his own free will, and not because his company has a cheap, tax-evading contract with Yodel. A person. A dickhead person. They arrive in the shittiest packaging imaginable. The speakers are just wrapped up in some tape and binbags. The corners of the speakers are completely exposed because the bin bags have just torn, predictably so the corners are totally done in, scuffed and scraped. They work and sound great, but look like hell. A bit of paint will sort it, but it's a pain. A few layers of bubblewrap underneath the shitty bin liners would have stopped them getting scuffed, As would using something a bit more resilient than those cheap value bin bags which tear as soon as you put something in them. Since he didn't reply to any of my messages asking if he received the payment and if he could supply the tracking details, he's now outwith the boundaries of my saint-like patience. I hope he likes the taste of negative feedback. If he wants to dispute it, I've got glossy photographs of the binbag 'packaging' falling to pieces. Dick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted February 1, 2013 Report Share Posted February 1, 2013 People who moan about new iTunes. It looks slick and it's neat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted February 1, 2013 Report Share Posted February 1, 2013 I almost had a good customer experience with Yodel this week. Instead it ended up being a weird customer experience. They attempted to deliver something to the house on Wednesday, left a card and returned to depot (already better than their usual service of leaving things unattended and uncovered in the back garden). I went onto their website and attempted to re-arrange delivery to work for two days later (would've been today). Didn't expect to be allowed to do that as other couriers aren't happy about you arranging delivery to a different postcode for some fucking reason. Surprisingly though it went through and delivery was scheduled to the office for today. It was delivered to my neighbour yesterday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted February 1, 2013 Report Share Posted February 1, 2013 I almost had a good customer experience with Yodel this week. Instead it ended up being a weird customer experience. They attempted to deliver something to the house on Wednesday, left a card and returned to depot (already better than their usual service of leaving things unattended and uncovered in the back garden). I went onto their website and attempted to re-arrange delivery to work for two days later (would've been today). Didn't expect to be allowed to do that as other couriers aren't happy about you arranging delivery to a different postcode for some fucking reason. Surprisingly though it went through and delivery was scheduled to the office for today. It was delivered to my neighbour yesterday.Properly belly laughed at that last line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
framheim Posted February 1, 2013 Report Share Posted February 1, 2013 people posting conspiracy or sensationalist advice on facebook, without bothering to at least google the thing to see if it's wacky bullshit (as it invariably is), then a bunch of morons responding with "OMG, thanks for the warning! etc etc". Think for your fucking selves morons. if it's on the internet, it's probably not true! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frosty Jack Posted February 1, 2013 Report Share Posted February 1, 2013 people posting conspiracy or sensationalist advice on facebook, without bothering to at least google the thing to see if it's wacky bullshit (as it invariably is), then a bunch of morons responding with "OMG, thanks for the warning! etc etc". Think for your fucking selves morons. if it's on the internet, it's probably not true! Oh God, me too. All it takes is one Google to see it's always bollocks. I usually find something about whatever it is onthatsnonsense.com (follow them on FB for regular debunking updates to what's going around at the time) and post the link to whatever neep has forwarded the crap to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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