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Pet Hates!


Guest idol_wild

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When someone offers me an unorthodox handshakes or high five style thing and it’s rude not to oblige. I’m 31 and I’m from Aberdeenshire. It makes me feel uncomfortable and stupid. If you’d like to shake my hand when we meet or part then by all means extend it in the proper way. If I know you well or I’m drunk I might even pull your arm in and half embrace you, pat you on the shoulder or whatever. Don’t make to go like you want to arm wrestle me in mid air, don’t do any slidy or clicky finger things and please, please, please don’t make me touch your fist with mine.

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Fist pounding is brilliant. And then making your fist explode as if two asteroids have collided. Just a wonderful greeting/parting affection. Especially if you are a bit sloshed and you completely exaggerate the exploding fist, usually resulting in spitting all over their face or something.

These are all great things, especially when you do it with someone you just called "brah"

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Companies seem to take complaints much more seriously than they used to, especially if you're O2's customer. When I complained to ParcelMonkey about DHL smashing the chassis of my amp, I got £400 back, even though the amp wasn't completely destroyed. Just needed a bit of sturdy wood adhesive to clamp the corner back together. BT gave me free internet for 6 months and a free allowance upgrade when I complained about my internet being shit, which they fixed pretty sharpish.

Complaining is ace.

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Likewise my computer which was meant to have been delivered on Monday still hasn't been sorted out. After 2 supposed attempts where they left cards (I was home and no cards were left), I complained and got told it would be re-delivered today. I check the tracking today, and of course it hasn't left the depot. Complain again and I'm told my complaint has been passed onto the Glasgow depot who still haven't got back to me at all. If this carries on into next week I'll probably crack and get the subway and then train to the other end of Glasgow and carry it back home, defeating the entire fucking point of getting something delivered (assuming I can pick it up without the cards they didn't leave me). Fucking shower of inept cunts.

Right, so on Friday afternoon I finally got a reply apologising and promising it will be re-delivered on Monday. Yesterday comes, and the exact same shit happens. I stay home all day for it (missing a lab at uni), nobody turns up, no cards are left but their bullshit tracking info says otherwise. By 6 it shows up as being back at the depot, so I decided to head to Cambuslang to pick it up. Got to around the Barrowlands before I calmed down, and realised that even if I pick it up, wandering around the east end of Glasgow when it's dark with a brand new computer is going to a be an incredibly shitty idea. So I get up this morning to head over and pick it up, and the tracking shows that it was returned to the sender at half 3 this morning and is currently in Milton Keynes. I'm in some weird calm state that's beyond anger right now.

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Right, so on Friday afternoon I finally got a reply apologising and promising it will be re-delivered on Monday. Yesterday comes, and the exact same shit happens. I stay home all day for it (missing a lab at uni), nobody turns up, no cards are left but their bullshit tracking info says otherwise. By 6 it shows up as being back at the depot, so I decided to head to Cambuslang to pick it up. Got to around the Barrowlands before I calmed down, and realised that even if I pick it up, wandering around the east end of Glasgow when it's dark with a brand new computer is going to a be an incredibly shitty idea. So I get up this morning to head over and pick it up, and the tracking shows that it was returned to the sender at half 3 this morning and is currently in Milton Keynes. I'm in some weird calm state that's beyond anger right now.
I feel your pain man. Well, I did. But I got my phone now so I'm actually chuffed as fuck and not in pain anymore.
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The amount of children in Boots at lunchtime taking all the best sandwiches, hogging all the self service scanners, and letting their shit mates cut the line. Back in my day (when all this was just fields and quarters were called Bees) you weren't allowed out of school grounds at lunchtime unless you had a totally fool-proof and inexcusable reason to do so, like unreasonable, death defying food allergies. They haven't quite grapsed the concept of volume yet either. Perhaps that happens in the last year at school, as just about every little shit-eating cunt was screaming at each other, like they were standing a mile away from each other. I'll go on a Sunday morning from now on, when they are all in bed, hungover from the Shandy.

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FIFA 12 online. When you take a shot and the keeper pads it out and the only player who will reach it - in what is a very clear goalscoring position - is yourself, and the other player pauses.
They can do that? I know in NHL 12 you're only allowed to pause like once, and I think that's only during intermissions.
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On FIFA, you can only pause when you are considered to be in possession, but when the ball is free, it's a bit of a grey area, and it seems that anyone can do it.

Playing online should be the best thing ever, but proper horrible, spoiled, unsporting cunts make it one of the worst things ever.

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No. I was just winding up Teabags and Surfer Rosa.

Oh. Cheers.

To further my pet hate saga, HP have now said they can't send me back the same computer, and they won't be able to send me one until the end of March until they re-stock. Hopefully via a different delivery company like I requested, but I doubt it.

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Bands like this:

Hi.

One of Ireland's top cover bands are looking for a vocalist/front man, male Vox.

Under no circumstances any time wasters please!!!! This is a serious and professional role with a chance for good money to be made.

MUST have experience !!! Can't stress that one enough!

MUST have professional manner and attitude. Zero room for ego and anyone who is not able to work at a moments notice. Gigs come in thick and fast and the words "I can't do that night" do not exsist ( you have been warned) . Don't apply if your not hungry.

MUST have exceptional vocal talent AND be able to command a stage!! Please do not aply with "I'll give it a go" attitude. Proven tack record in "fronting" a band will be required.

MUST be of desent appearance !! Band has a look and style but the front man will ideally be easy on the eye (for want of a better word)

Please pm me if you have all of the above attributes!

Many thanks for your interest !

Good luck getting anyone to apply for this gig, you total peens.

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you meet the criteria? no....?

I doubt I'm "hungry" enough. Jesus. You'd think they were auditioning for a new member of U2 or something, not some limp dick covers band. "the words "I can't do that night" do not exsist ( you have been warned)". Do me a favour. And seriously, unless you're auditioning for a fucking boy band, appearance should never be a criteria.

What a bunch of total wanks. I feel like asking for an audition so I can go along and tell them I hate them.

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