Pet Hates!

[Soda Jerk]

Does thinking about norks class as thinking about sex? Cos, y'know. A decent grope or even an oggle isn't exactly the no-pants dance. It can't be put under the same umbrella.

[Bigsby]

"Gaming" chairs. Thought it must be a wind up when I saw an advert for them in the paper. You would surely have to be a grade A cunt to buy a seperate chair just to play computer games in.

[3CR816]

"Gaming" chairs. Thought it must be a wind up when I saw an advert for them in the paper. You would surely have to be a grade A cunt to buy a seperate chair just to play computer games in.

I like nothing more than recling in my gaming chair, doning my Nintendo PowerGlove , strapping on my rumble-feedback vest and then breaking down in tears at what I've become.

[Le Stu]

I nearly bought one until I realised that what sane people buy instead is known as a "beanbag"

[Skubbs]

When tall cunts decide to stand in front of me, even though I'm only 5'4.

It happens at pretty much every gig I'm at, I get a fab spot where I can see the band and then some tall cunt pushes his way through the crowd then stands right in front of me, crosses his arms and glares at everyone who asks him to move. I'M SHORT, YOU'RE TALL - DON'T STAND IN FRONT OF ME YOU INCONSIDERATE FUCK.

[Bigsby]

As a tall cunt, I say tough shit.

[Skubbs]

But you can see over everyone, why the hell pick someone you're a foot taller than to stand right in front of?

It's not as if I've decided to stand behind someone who's taller, I usually have to get at a gig a bit earlier and stand near the front where it seems there's a bigger number of short folk just so I can see the gig. Some twat decides usually 10 mins into the main bands set that he's going to barge right in front of me.

Next time a kick in the nuts might bring the bastard to his knees...

[Bigsby]

To be fair, I wouldn't push in front of anyone. But at the same time I'm not going to stand at the back or let midgets like yourself in front of me just because they start tutting or moaning.

Being tall is ace.

[Guest]

But you can see over everyone, why the hell pick someone you're a foot taller than to stand right in front of?

It's not as if I've decided to stand behind someone who's taller, I usually have to get at a gig a bit earlier and stand near the front where it seems there's a bigger number of short folk just so I can see the gig. Some twat decides usually 10 mins into the main bands set that he's going to barge right in front of me.

Next time a kick in the nuts might bring the bastard to his knees...

He'd probably still be taller than you.

That's what happens. People push in front of other people at shows. I defintely don't feel obliged to stand behind lots of short people, further away from the band/stage, just because I'm 6,3.

[Nev]

When tall cunts decide to stand in front of me, even though I'm only 5'4.

It happens at pretty much every gig I'm at, I get a fab spot where I can see the band and then some tall cunt pushes his way through the crowd then stands right in front of me, crosses his arms and glares at everyone who asks him to move. I'M SHORT, YOU'RE TALL - DON'T STAND IN FRONT OF ME YOU INCONSIDERATE FUCK.

You're taller than me :-(

I find getting down the front works best at places like Tunnels, Snafu etc, but for bigger venues I either stand at the back or the side as it's usually easier to get an angle to watch.

Failing that, see my earlier post about sharp elbows.

[Craig C]

People who put the phone down without saying anything.

Older women who think that dressing like Anne Robinson gives them the right to be a cunt.

Small people at gigs

The really annoying fat chick who frequents the moorings

[-matthEw-]

When you're standing at a green-man crossing and you've pressed the button and you're waiting for the lights to change then some new arse comes along and presses the button again... what the fuck are they thinking? That you're incapable of pressing a button.

It's even worse when the green-man pops up just moments after they've pressed the button and you can just tell they are claiming all the credit for it - smug cunts!!

[Bigsby]

The really annoying fat chick who frequents the moorings

*pulls up chair*

[Chris]

what the fuck are they thinking? That you're incapable of pressing a button.

Yes, usually with good reason.

Far too many times I've stood at a crossing after arriving to find someone already waiting, assume they've pushed the button only to see the traffic light cycle go straight back round to the start again without showing us a green man.

It seems some people think pedestrian crossings are magic and will just somehow sense that you're waiting to cross.

[Adam Easy Wishes]

Yes, usually with good reason.

Far too many times I've stood at a crossing after arriving to find someone already waiting, assume they've pushed the button only to see the traffic light cycle go straight back round to the start again without showing us a green man.

It seems some people think pedestrian crossings are magic and will just somehow sense that you're waiting to cross.

Was just going to say this!

[Graham]

When you're standing at a green-man crossing and you've pressed the button and you're waiting for the lights to change then some new arse comes along and presses the button again... what the fuck are they thinking? That you're incapable of pressing a button.

Quite a lot of people don't bother pressing the button though. Especially in Glasgow I've found where there will be dozens of people waiting to cross but not one of them has pressed the button. Aberdeen is not too bad for this though. I only press the button if the light that says WAIT is not illuminated.

[Craig C]

More of an amusement than a pet hate is when junkies saunter onto the road to cross it while everyone else is waiting, only to shout "yi fuckin' baaaamm" as the car skiffs them

[Soda Jerk]

Bigsby is right. Being tall is mint sometimes, and if we're all paying the same entry fee, I'm sure as fuck not going to stand right at the back so folk smaller than me can hog the good spots, because that would probably be 99% of people there.

Being tall isn't a walk in the park the best of times though. Buying clothes is a fucking nightmare; as is fitting into a seat on the bus, so a gig is where I'll fully enjoy the extent of my awkward genetics, by towering over every cunt and get the best view. Just like when short arse cunts take the bus seats with extended legroom so they can put their feet up. It goes around, and it comes back around. Hallelujah.

[Bigsby]

Right on brother. Also annoying when you're squeezed into a fucking tiny space on a long-haul flight and the short arse in front of you decides to recline their seat, despite having loads of room anyway.

On more than one ocassion I've been quick enough to spot them going for the recline button, when you see them do this just push their seat forward as hard as they can, eventually they think it's broken and give up.

[Guest]

Right on brother. Also annoying when you're squeezed into a fucking tiny space on a long-haul flight and the short arse in front of you decides to recline their seat, despite having loads of room anyway.

On more than one ocassion I've been quick enough to spot them going for the recline button, when you see them do this just push their seat forward as hard as they can, eventually they think it's broken and give up.

I have been bumped to first class because of my size before, multiple times (once on a flight to Oz), and I'm not nearly as tall as a lot of people on here, you and original spies included,

I love my life

[Soda Jerk]

I have been bumped to first class because of my size before, multiple times (once on a flight to Oz), and I'm not nearly as tall as a lot of people on here, you and original spies included,

I love my life

Nice one on taking advantage of your height in a situation like that. Kudos.

Let us high five, 4 feet in the air above the shorties.

[-matthEw-]

Yes, usually with good reason.

Far too many times I've stood at a crossing after arriving to find someone already waiting, assume they've pushed the button only to see the traffic light cycle go straight back round to the start again without showing us a green man.

It seems some people think pedestrian crossings are magic and will just somehow sense that you're waiting to cross.

Well I guess I just don't like people assuming that I am one of the morons who will stand at a crossing patiently without pressing the button.

[Soda Jerk]

The sad thing is, you are probably vastly outnumbered by the forgetful ones who don't press the button, so the assumption that you are a moron, regardless of its accuracy, is quite valuable in those situations. Besides, pressing a button again doesn't really affect anyone, does it? You'd have more of a point if re-pressing the button unleashed a head-shattering foghorn that obliterated everything within a mile radius. But it's effectively silent, and ignorable.

[Shaki]

Well I guess I just don't like people assuming that I am one of the morons who will stand at a crossing patiently without pressing the button.

Everyone should be treated like a moron until proven otherwise. Perhaps you look like one?

[-matthEw-]

The sad thing is, you are probably vastly outnumbered by the forgetful ones who don't press the button, so the assumption that you are a moron, regardless of its accuracy, is quite valuable in those situations. Besides, pressing a button again doesn't really affect anyone, does it? You'd have more of a point if re-pressing the button unleashed a head-shattering foghorn that obliterated everything within a mile radius. But it's effectively silent, and ignorable.

Well luckily for the good citizens of Aberdeen I do choose to ignore it, venting my fury silently here

Also, you dissenters are all ignoring the fact that the button-box clearly changes after it's been pressed, either by glowing red round the outside of the button, or the lights behind the Please Wait sign lighting up. All you double-pressers should just cast a glance at the box before barging in.