Pet Hates!

[Nev]

I've a few tonight:

Water pouring through your light fittings

Just reiterate this pet hate and add: water coming through your ceiling onto a computer...

[ca_gere]

The 'awkward mic feedback' sound effect that plays in EVERY advert, program, film or other production

I'm with you on that one. Millions of things annoy me when it comes to films. Here are just two that came to mind.

- Badly crowbarred-in expository dialogue. (thanks for randomly stating that you have just been assigned a new partner at the precint, mr policeman, even if it is of no relevence to what is going on at this moment in time)

- That moment 5-10 minutes into any bog standard comedy, romantic or otherwise, when the main character walks past the person who is to become the love interest in the story. Slushy music swells and she flicks her hair or laughs in slow motion. (after all these years its the same shit, thoughtless scene every time)

[Snowball]

As we have been speaking cinema and films, I hate how Vue has gone to allocated seating. Fair enough if they had had it all along, but now they've swapped over, in my experience absolutely nobody follows it, then one of the aforementioned people coming in 10 minutes into the bloody film will be the ones that absolutely MUST have their own seat G7 or whatever and cause an almighty fuss, even though there are plenty of seats left and they're so late noone else will be coming.

However at Cineworld where they've always had it the thing that annoys me is people sighing and tutting and looking at you like you're a complete loser for wanting to avoid hassle and take your own seat when you know it's going to be sold out and eventually some poor sod will have to come in and play the game of shifting around a chain of people until they get back to the first bastard that just sat his arse down anywhere (that poor sod used to be me which is why it annoys me so much). People stick to their own seat at the theatre or the football, I don't get why they can't do it at the cinema

[Guest Jake Wifebeater]

Team-building days at work. Bear with me here, I seriously need to go off one on:

Team-building day at work. Oh great, we sit in a room talking for a whole day. The morning goes surprisingly well, ideas are punted around, what works, what doesn't, what needs to be dropped/done better etc. General consensus among everyone, good days.

The afternoon is a "surprise". This does not sound good, I don't like surprises. If anyone organised a surprise party for me, I would kick the absolute fuck out of them on principle. We are asked to sign a disclaimer that we won't hold anyone liable in the event of physical or mental injury. I should have walked out here and then. Anyway, "Stairway To Heaven" by Zep is played. This also does not bode well, as Zep are boring, over-rated shit that has no place in my world. Anyway, we're told to concentrate on the song. The guy starts turning the lights on and off, dimming them and what-not. Uh-huh, this afternoon is going to be about trying to mess with people's heads, is it? "You can fucking count me out of this", I'm thinking.

The music, thankfully, stops as does the piss-arsing about with the lights. We are then told to stand in a circle facing each other, and to take hold of someone's hand with our right hand and someone else's hand with our left. We then have to re-form a circle or something without breaking the chain. I pretty much stood there and let folk duck and weave and do their thing. Anyway, he asks us to do it again and this is where it all goes the shape of the pear...

We join hands again and he tells us to make a start on it. He switched the lights out and something just went inside me. I'm standing in a room full of people in total pitch-black and I snatch my hands away from whoever's got hold of them, shouting "TURN THOSE FUCKING LIGHTS ON! GET THOSE FUCKING LIGHTS BACK ON! I FUCKING MEAN IT! TURN THE FUCKING LIGHTS ON!". Lights are duly turned back on and I'm outta there.

The guy comes through and tells me it's ok to feel like that, it's far from uncommon. It fucking isn't ok, if people freak out at this nonsense then there's something very wrong with it and it's very fucking wrong to mess with people's heads like that. Hey, some people get off on this kind of shit and that's fine, what isn't fine is springing it on people unannounced. What the fuck does this have to do with my working with ex-prisoners? He tells me it's going to get more intensive so I tell him I'm done and having nothing more to do with this. Thank fuck I was meeting someone after this, don't know what I would have done otherwise.

My friend texted later to see if I was ok. She said that they were breaking arrows with their necks later on (what the fuck FOR?) and that she and a few others were crying at the end of the workshop. This is fucking bang out of order. Squeezing emotion out of people like juice from an orange is abuse, simple as that. She reckons it was a good thing for her. This makes it even worse, she's too sensible to swallow the shit she's been fed. I am fucking raging like never in my life.

The manager asks me the following day what I thought of it, I tell him that I felt a wave of the blackest terror I've ever felt in my life and I feel violated. It's a fucking liberty to try and fuck with people's heads like that and that if we pulled a stunt like that with our client group then the Care Commission would be in there like a rat up a drainpipe. He tells me that's pretty potent feedback and I tell him that it's pretty potent stuff I'm feeling and I mean every word. I tell him that this New Age psychobabble is something I want no part of and I get it in writing that they will never try a stunt like that with me again. He tells me that kinda stuff is at the low end of the scale in terms of these workshops and I say I couldn't care less. He tells me I have issues with proximity and that the barriers are up. Damn right, and they're sure as shit staying up. These are my work colleagues only (apart from my friend) and that I resent stuff being pulled out of me that I'm neither ready nor willing to share. I don't know what they've found but I've enough on my plate at the moment without this being sprung on me. It's a place of work, not a fucking counselling or therapy group and I want my right to be left alone respected.

I've been given the option to put in a complaint and I'm seriously considering it. It's not so much what happened, it's the fact it was just sprung on us as a surprise. Not sure as yet if I will, this was only two days ago and I need to calm down before deciding what to do. I don't give a shit about the ideas or rationale behind all this, and at least I'll never be put through it again.

Anyways, sorry for the novel but I really had to get that out. Work'll probably say it's healthy to let it all out but they can keep the patronising woolly-liberal shit. I am fucking furious about it and will be for some time.

[Afro Droid]

Team-building days at work. Bear with me here, I seriously need to go off one on.

Indeedy. That sounds horrendous.

[Jeanette]

Team-building days at work. Bear with me here, I seriously need to go off one on:

What do you do that would require such intense team building?!

[Guest Tam o' Shantie]

being in a several mile-long traffic jam on the way home, when someone decides to stop crawling along and leave a massive gap in front of them for 2 mins. inexplicably stupid and annoying. you could be travelling at 2 miles an hour, but at least you're going somewhere, and someone in front just decides that they will stop moving, presumably because they can't actually drive at the speed limit.

I once discussed this with someone who then admitted to me that they did it. they claimed that it 'doesn't make any difference' because you're in a traffic jam anyway....what the fuck?! if every single person stopped moving and left a 10m gap in front of them the dyce <-> aberdeen traffic would probably stretch down to dundee...how can it possibly not make a difference? sure, it doesn't make a difference to you if you're doing it, but the person behind you has to wait until your lazy inconsiderate arse starts moving again, and the same applies to every single person behind you, all the way back to the office car park.

[Lemonade]

rant

I understand that, I hate all that new-age psychobabble hippy bullshit as well. Anyone trying to get me to open up about my feelings is generally going to get told to fuck off.

[Lemonade]

On a side note, I'm so sick of seeing people fucking bawling their eyes out like children on stuff like X-Factor.Whatever happened to keeping your dignity, and the stiff upper lip? When someone gets through an audition, the auditionee and all their family start fucking wailing, when somebody gets voted off, the person they are up against is always sobbing, and the person voted off, and most of the rest of the contestants. It's just a big pathetic sob-fest. What's with all the tears? This country is getting more and more American by the day. That Eoghan guy greeting when his mate got booted off was priceless. I almost shit myself from laughing at the little cunt.

[Hog]

Team-building days at work. Bear with me here, I seriously need to go off one on:

Team-building day at work. Oh great, we sit in a room talking for a whole day. The morning goes surprisingly well, ideas are punted around, what works, what doesn't, what needs to be dropped/done better etc. General consensus among everyone, good days.

The afternoon is a "surprise". This does not sound good, I don't like surprises. If anyone organised a surprise party for me, I would kick the absolute fuck out of them on principle. We are asked to sign a disclaimer that we won't hold anyone liable in the event of physical or mental injury. I should have walked out here and then. Anyway, "Stairway To Heaven" by Zep is played. This also does not bode well, as Zep are boring, over-rated shit that has no place in my world. Anyway, we're told to concentrate on the song. The guy starts turning the lights on and off, dimming them and what-not. Uh-huh, this afternoon is going to be about trying to mess with people's heads, is it? "You can fucking count me out of this", I'm thinking.

The music, thankfully, stops as does the piss-arsing about with the lights. We are then told to stand in a circle facing each other, and to take hold of someone's hand with our right hand and someone else's hand with our left. We then have to re-form a circle or something without breaking the chain. I pretty much stood there and let folk duck and weave and do their thing. Anyway, he asks us to do it again and this is where it all goes the shape of the pear...

We join hands again and he tells us to make a start on it. He switched the lights out and something just went inside me. I'm standing in a room full of people in total pitch-black and I snatch my hands away from whoever's got hold of them, shouting "TURN THOSE FUCKING LIGHTS ON! GET THOSE FUCKING LIGHTS BACK ON! I FUCKING MEAN IT! TURN THE FUCKING LIGHTS ON!". Lights are duly turned back on and I'm outta there.

The guy comes through and tells me it's ok to feel like that, it's far from uncommon. It fucking isn't ok, if people freak out at this nonsense then there's something very wrong with it and it's very fucking wrong to mess with people's heads like that. Hey, some people get off on this kind of shit and that's fine, what isn't fine is springing it on people unannounced. What the fuck does this have to do with my working with ex-prisoners? He tells me it's going to get more intensive so I tell him I'm done and having nothing more to do with this. Thank fuck I was meeting someone after this, don't know what I would have done otherwise.

My friend texted later to see if I was ok. She said that they were breaking arrows with their necks later on (what the fuck FOR?) and that she and a few others were crying at the end of the workshop. This is fucking bang out of order. Squeezing emotion out of people like juice from an orange is abuse, simple as that. She reckons it was a good thing for her. This makes it even worse, she's too sensible to swallow the shit she's been fed. I am fucking raging like never in my life.

The manager asks me the following day what I thought of it, I tell him that I felt a wave of the blackest terror I've ever felt in my life and I feel violated. It's a fucking liberty to try and fuck with people's heads like that and that if we pulled a stunt like that with our client group then the Care Commission would be in there like a rat up a drainpipe. He tells me that's pretty potent feedback and I tell him that it's pretty potent stuff I'm feeling and I mean every word. I tell him that this New Age psychobabble is something I want no part of and I get it in writing that they will never try a stunt like that with me again. He tells me that kinda stuff is at the low end of the scale in terms of these workshops and I say I couldn't care less. He tells me I have issues with proximity and that the barriers are up. Damn right, and they're sure as shit staying up. These are my work colleagues only (apart from my friend) and that I resent stuff being pulled out of me that I'm neither ready nor willing to share. I don't know what they've found but I've enough on my plate at the moment without this being sprung on me. It's a place of work, not a fucking counselling or therapy group and I want my right to be left alone respected.

I've been given the option to put in a complaint and I'm seriously considering it. It's not so much what happened, it's the fact it was just sprung on us as a surprise. Not sure as yet if I will, this was only two days ago and I need to calm down before deciding what to do. I don't give a shit about the ideas or rationale behind all this, and at least I'll never be put through it again.

Anyways, sorry for the novel but I really had to get that out. Work'll probably say it's healthy to let it all out but they can keep the patronising woolly-liberal shit. I am fucking furious about it and will be for some time.

I would complain. It's a violation.

[Monster Zero]

People who can't walk in a straight line. Walking up Union Street means negotiating an obstacle course of folk who drift diagonally across the pavement. Do they all have one leg shorter than the other or something.

[Alkaline]

People who can't walk in a straight line. Walking up Union Street means negotiating an obstacle course of folk who drift diagonally across the pavement. Do they all have one leg shorter than the other or something.

I despise that too. They tend to couple drifting with an unbelievable lack of spatial awareness as well.

[Monster Zero]

I despise that too. They tend to couple drifting with an unbelievable lack of spatial awareness as well.

And the drift manouvere is quite often attributable to fucking about with a mobile phone. If walking and dealing with a mobile is one too many tasks for your brain to cope with, do one or the other fuckstick.

[Alkaline]

And the drift manouvere is quite often attributable to fucking about with a mobile phone. If walking and dealing with a mobile is one too many tasks for your brain to cope with, do one or the other fuckstick.

The ones that get all indignant when they walk into me are fucking priceless! I had some old woman look at me like i'd shat in her cereal when she walked into me once and said something like "how rude!" to me. Fucking whiny bitch. If she spent less time gassing to her similarly coffin-dodging mate and more time watching where she was walking then she wouldn't nearly get knocked over. It was her or a wall, no contest.

[Captain America]

In that same vein of thought.

Old people up town, who you make every attempt to avoid but they still bump into you and give you a look as if it's your fault.

EDIT: Beat me too it.

[KarmaTsunami]

For this very reason I always stop walking when I'm texting. I fucking hate having to navigate Union Street as if it's some sort of assult course. It's worse this week because the kids are on holiday grumble grumble.

[stuartmaxwell]

you people need to cheer up

[Guest Exposure @ Lemon Tree]

We join hands again and he tells us to make a start on it. He switched the lights out and something just went inside me.

I had to read that part about 4 times before I realised someone hadn't physically violated you as well as mentally.

I hate all this psycho-analysing pish.

Why in the fuck you need to stand in a circle with the lights out is beyond me, and break arrows with their necks? Seriously - is this just a way of some people beating the recession? By making up jobs for the people who work for team-building companies?

They can all fuck off as far as I'm concerned.

And - totally agree with Lucky about the greeting on X Factor et al. Especially the young guys. Christ, when I was a teenager (or any age for that), the last thing I wanted to do was cry in front of anyone. Bunch of cissy little bastards.

[Guest Exposure @ Lemon Tree]

you people need to cheer up

Says Little Miss Sunshine

[Hog]

The "Credit Crunch". I'm sick hearing about it.

Pubs offering a "Credit Crunch Lunch".... fuck off!

People who where in some kind of altered state just before Xmas when shopping. In their selfish little materialistic world they forgot that it's not cool to walk into you or barge you with their shopping trolley. I am gobsmacked jsut how one dimensional people can be at that time of year... like a bunch of walking robot zombies.

[Afro Droid]

For this very reason I always stop walking when I'm texting.

Sage advice - I learnt this leason the hard way (split my head open not looking where I was going - d'oh!)

[Guest Exposure @ Lemon Tree]

The "Credit Crunch". I'm sick hearing about it.

Pubs offering a "Credit Crunch Lunch".... fuck off!

People who where in some kind of altered state just before Xmas when shopping. In their selfish little materialistic world they forgot that it's not cool to walk into you or barge you with their shopping trolley. I am gobsmacked jsut how one dimensional people can be at that time of year... like a bunch of walking robot zombies.

Some people are like that the whole year round though. It's just there are more of them to avoid at Christmas time.

Mum's with buggies who always seem to be in a hurry and take your ankles out for fun in the street.

I've said this to people before and they're like "have you ever tried steering a buggy....?" Not often, but I'm sure if you were going to smack into someone's ankles you could just fucking slow down. Much in the same way that if a car pulls out in front of you it may be quite difficult to steer round, i.e. there's oncoming traffic/walls/cliffs/whatever, but what is usually a good idea is to apply the brakes, and just slow down so that you avoid the collision.

Similarly - folk with umbrellas who have zero consideration for the well being of my eyes.

[Teabags]

The "Credit Crunch". I'm sick hearing about it.

So am I. It just made me redundant.

[Alkaline]

So am I. It just made me redundant.

Seriously? That sucks man

[Hog]

So am I. It just made me redundant.

Nope that was the recession.

Seriously though, that's a bummer.