Captain America Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 Argh race issue. No comment there.But the Aberdonian children joke was excellent... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davewarden Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 What was the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind?Her arse.I laughed then I thought thats nae right then I laughed again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain America Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 Haha, I thought exactly the same as you Warden... then i decided on thats nae right...But i wont hold it against you if you laugh... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue Denim.. Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 Have you ever noticed how burns victims stick together? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dayeth Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 hahahahahhaha ^thats my favourite by a mile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain America Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 hahahaha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ben_1903 Posted November 8, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 8, 2006 whats the best thing about shagging babies?their tiny hands make your cock look huge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted November 8, 2006 Report Share Posted November 8, 2006 whats the best thing about shagging babies?their tiny hands make your cock look huge.whats the best thing about shagging ben_1903?he bleeds lots, squeals like a 5 year old girl, and nobody loves him because so dumping him in the street once you're done should be met with no objections. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tam o' Shantie Posted November 8, 2006 Report Share Posted November 8, 2006 What's the best thing about fucking twenty-three year olds?There's 20 of 'em.And now here's a real zinger that I dreamt up over the weekend:What's Roy Walker's moral stance on fucking 8 year old kids?"It's good, but it's not right!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain America Posted November 8, 2006 Report Share Posted November 8, 2006 Thought this were pretty good... What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot of course, you massive racist cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ben_1903 Posted November 8, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 8, 2006 whats the best thing about shagging ben_1903?he bleeds lots, squeals like a 5 year old girl, and nobody loves him because so dumping him in the street once you're done should be met with no objections.ta for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jake Wifebeater Posted November 8, 2006 Report Share Posted November 8, 2006 Courtesy of Scorge:A man takes his 12-year-old daughter to the doctor's. When he goes through, he asks the doctor to put her on the pill. The doctor is horrified, he says:"You mean your 12-year-old daughter is sexually active?"The man replies:"Nah, she just lies there like a statue like her fucking mother always does".Sorry Dave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted November 9, 2006 Report Share Posted November 9, 2006 AHAHAHAHAHAHHAAMan walks into vet with his dog, complaining that there it looks like theres somehting wrong with the dogs eyes.Vet says "okay, lets have a look" and picks up the dog by the ears and stares right into his eyes. "Well, I'm gonna have to put him down""What? Are you serious, is it that bad?""No. He's heavy." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skubbs Posted November 11, 2006 Report Share Posted November 11, 2006 whats the difference between a torry lass and a walrus?one has a moustache and smells of fish, the other comes from the sea hehee xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bodast Posted November 11, 2006 Report Share Posted November 11, 2006 5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said "No, the steaks aret too high."I decided to try this on MSN:you will obey - you must obey * you like to obey } says:i went into the butcher's today and bet him a fiver he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf without a ladder11 says:ooh lol what did he sayyou will obey - you must obey * you like to obey } says:he refused the bet!you will obey - you must obey * you like to obey } says:he said the steaks were too high11 says:hahaha he sounds like a legendyou will obey - you must obey * you like to obey } says:it was a JOKE!11 says:haha aw i thought it was real!you will obey - you must obey * you like to obey } says:would have been ace though...11 says:aye lol i thought you had the most witty butcher... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted November 12, 2006 Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 I decided to try this on MSN:you will obey - you must obey * you like to obey } says:i went into the butcher's today and bet him a fiver he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf without a ladder11 says:ooh lol what did he sayyou will obey - you must obey * you like to obey } says:he refused the bet!you will obey - you must obey * you like to obey } says:he said the steaks were too high11 says:hahaha he sounds like a legendyou will obey - you must obey * you like to obey } says:it was a JOKE!11 says:haha aw i thought it was real!you will obey - you must obey * you like to obey } says:would have been ace though...11 says:aye lol i thought you had the most witty butcher...czech you out!OMG WTF LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bodast Posted November 12, 2006 Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 czech you out!OMG WTF LOL!Are you jealous because I'm random? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jake Wifebeater Posted November 12, 2006 Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 Another one from Del at the Horse:A couple get married, and decide on a quiet honeymoon at a B+B. They check in, and there's no sign of them the following day. The proprietors think nothing of it, newlyweds and all that. The day after, there's still no sign of them, and the landlady gets a bit worried. She knocks at their door and says "Are you alright? You haven't come out for 2 days, aren't you hungry?"The bride replies "No thank you, we're fine, we're living on the fruits of love."Another 2 days go by, and the couple still haven't come out of their room. The landlord thinks this is taking the piss, so he goes up to their room, knocks and says "That's 4 days now. Are you SURE you wouldn't like something to eat?"The bride, once again, says "No, we're fine, we're still living on the fruits of love."The landlord replies "That's all very well, but would you please stop throwing the fucking skins out of the window, they're choking the ducks." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted November 13, 2006 Report Share Posted November 13, 2006 Are you jealous because I'm random?No. Im jealous because you're not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoonie Posted November 13, 2006 Report Share Posted November 13, 2006 there is live comedy, it will be great ,a guy called Gus Tawse is appearing, his observational stuff is great, although his delivery need a litle work,cheers Biz.i think i saw him at the stand in edinburgh on saturday night. toonser accent, slow delivery. funnny as fuck but, as you say, delivery neds a bit of work. /x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hog Posted November 13, 2006 Report Share Posted November 13, 2006 Botox- A water dwelling cowBinge- Sean Connery uses these to put out his rubbish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benji Posted November 13, 2006 Report Share Posted November 13, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaseyBoi Posted November 13, 2006 Report Share Posted November 13, 2006 A MARRIED COUPLE DRIVIN HOME SEE A WOUNDED SKUNK LYING BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. THE WIFE GETS OUT AND BRINGS IT BACK 2 THE CAR. "IT'S SHIVERIN, IT MUST BE COLD, WHAT SHOULD I DO ?" HUSBAND:"PUT IT BETWEEN YOUR LEGS 2 KEEP IT WARM." WIFE: WHAT ABOOT THE SMELL ?" HUSBAND:? HOLD ITS FUCKIN NOSE....In a survey of why men loved Blowjobs... 8% Loved the feeling.....6% liked the Thrill.....and 86% loved the Fuckin' Peace. theres a man walks into a lavy and whips oot his cock (his cock is fuckin massive) so massive that he starts smashing the place up with it.he smashes all the mirrors,hand dryers,jonny machine and then he smashes one of the cubicle doors off.theres a guy in front of him and hes shitin himself.the guy says to him "bend over coz am awa to ram es fuckin thing rite up your arse!!!" the guy replies "thank fuck i thought u were gan to hit me with it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scorge Posted December 6, 2006 Report Share Posted December 6, 2006 I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me 'Oi! What's your disability?'I said 'Tourettes you cunt, now fuck off'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue Denim.. Posted December 6, 2006 Report Share Posted December 6, 2006 A blonde (well it usually is isn't it) falls over after a night on the piss and wakes up in A & E a bit concussed. The doctor says "How many fingers have I got up?" to which she replies..... "Oh my god, I'm paralysed from the waist down!"Quote Quiz..Who said "I came, I saw, I conquered."....julius caesar Who Said "We shall fight them on the beaches."....Winston Churchill.Who Said "Defeat is alright"....Nelson Mandella's chiropodist . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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