Stroopy121 Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 He grew up on Sesame StreetTeaching kids to write and to readDitched the monocleThe switch was then pulledNow he commentates on athletes.xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 Pirate ran pub down the harbourWith punters who are considerably harderBut that's just a mythThey're actually all pissedBut at least they've got good banterNext up...Cider Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 There once was a girl from WesthillWho downed Diamond White for a thrillShe awoke in a ditchWith a fanny that itchedAnd a discharge that looked like pigswillNext topic:The murder of Ross McWhirter 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 There once was a bloke called McWhirter Whose hatred for Micks he did nurture His hatred backfired The Irish got tired and now he's with Meredith KercherI feel bad about that one but it was hardNext topic: piles Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TelecasterSam Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 Suffering from piles is nae fineYoull have tears in your eyes all the timeSo dont eat a hot curryOr to the lavvy youll hurryYour arsell be in tatters, Lang Syne !next..... vomiting ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Cynic Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 There once was a man named MacGrewWho ate far too much Irish stewHe quaffed pints of stoutTil his belly swelled outAnd then he did spew after spewor....If you catch all your vomit in pailsThen feed the whole lot to your snailsyou can fatten them up, and upon them can supWith hardly an ounce on your scalesnext one...Wigs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 There once was a man called StewWho wanted to get a new 'doBut in Aberdeen townAll his houses fall downNow his syrup's at the tip tooNext: Thrush Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HateEvent Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 Suspecting that I now had thrush,I went to the doc in a rush,He said holy piss,You'd better tell Fliss,As your cock looks like cornmeal mush.Next topic: Will Smith's arm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Gold Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 There once was a Prince who was FreshWho's arm got in a hell of a messWhen his uncle Phildropped a big power drilland sprayed blood all up Hillary's dress.Next topic: An ugly dog. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 Suspecting that I now had thrush,I went to the doc in a rush,He said holy piss,You'd better tell Fliss,As your cock looks like cornmeal mush.holy fuck I hope she head this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 I was once walking through fogwhen i saw the most ugly dogthe owner stunk of boand her tits hung quite lowbut I decided to giver her a snogNext : wanking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted May 30, 2011 Report Share Posted May 30, 2011 When my girlfriend goes to bed early I look up pics of Liz Hurley I lie on my back have a good whack and make myself a necklace that's pearlyNext: Nick Clegg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 There once was a man called NickTo his word he did not stickHe broke his students pledgeNow they need a big wedgeAnd their degree will be going on tickNext: Sam Allardyce Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FOX Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Next: Sam AllardyceThere once was an old man called Sam,Who said "good at this management, I am."Went to Newcastle,Wasn't "worth the hassle",Spent Christmas with his head in his hands.Next: POLAND.(ps. I suck at this.) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 There once was a man named JoWho came from the Land of Po.He got lots of stickfrom big racist pricks.So he battered them all. K.O.Next: Sex on tv Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 There once was a man called CloudRepeating "I'M IN POLAND", quite loudHe says it's better thereBut we really don't careBack to Britain he shouldn't be allowedNext: Russ Abbott Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Android Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 At the weekends I go out to partySearching for a girl to fuck meBut I'm not very aceso they spit in my faceAnd I settle for sex on tvNext: Tennis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 I watch tennis for only one reason.And that's for the flirtatious teasin'.To hear the girls moanand to hear them all groanis definitely sexually pleasin'.Andy gray is next. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Cynic Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Russ Abbott plays tennis quite wellBut his feet soon build up quite a smellHe thinks it's a joke when the fans start to croakHe's just a twat, truth to tell!(and Andy Gray's smelly as well!)....pigs heads... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Gray and Keysy are two of a kindOggling women until they go blindOne day off the airThey asked Redknapp "would you daretake your Louise and smash her from behind?"Do one about Tiger Woods. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest B. Arthur Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 They say he's the worlds best golf player,When he's not banging chicks in his lair,20 women a night,He treats them just right,All whilst his bottom is bare!Next; Pippa Middleton's arse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Her dress is a sight to beholdBut from behind it looks better Im toldIt sure wasn't a farceCos she's got quite a lovely arseAnd in it, I'd go mining for gold.Next...Lucky Rathen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 His name's Ryan and he's a bit oddWears a 'tache and he's got a short bodThough he plays mean guitar For Deadloss SuperstarI preferred when he wasn't a modNext: Fred West Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Cynic Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 Fred had a lady or fiveThat he fancied while they were aliveSo he'd quickly drill 'em, then help Rosie kill 'emAnd bury them under the driveNext.....shutterspeed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted May 31, 2011 Report Share Posted May 31, 2011 there was once a band called the speedmusical norms they did not heedgrungin all dey, 'nyah' they would sayat least people attended their first gig, which is a lot more than most other bands can say, maybe more should follow their lead.next... that guy who wears tartan, constantly shops at morrisons and smells of cheap aftershave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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