Limerick Challenge Game

[Stroopy121]

He grew up on Sesame Street

Teaching kids to write and to read

Ditched the monocle

The switch was then pulled

Now he commentates on athletes.

xx

[Teabags]

Pirate ran pub down the harbour

With punters who are considerably harder

But that's just a myth

They're actually all pissed

But at least they've got good banter

Next up...Cider

[Bigsby]

There once was a girl from Westhill

Who downed Diamond White for a thrill

She awoke in a ditch

With a fanny that itched

And a discharge that looked like pigswill

Next topic:

The murder of Ross McWhirter

[Shaki]

There once was a bloke called McWhirter

Whose hatred for Micks he did nurture

His hatred backfired

The Irish got tired

and now he's with Meredith Kercher

I feel bad about that one but it was hard

Next topic: piles

[TelecasterSam]

Suffering from piles is nae fine

Youll have tears in your eyes all the time

So dont eat a hot curry

Or to the lavvy youll hurry

Your arsell be in tatters, Lang Syne !

next..... vomiting !

[Alan Cynic]

There once was a man named MacGrew

Who ate far too much Irish stew

He quaffed pints of stout

Til his belly swelled out

And then he did spew after spew

or....

If you catch all your vomit in pails

Then feed the whole lot to your snails

you can fatten them up, and upon them can sup

With hardly an ounce on your scales

next one...Wigs

[Bigsby]

There once was a man called Stew

Who wanted to get a new 'do

But in Aberdeen town

All his houses fall down

Now his syrup's at the tip too

Next: Thrush

[HateEvent]

Suspecting that I now had thrush,

I went to the doc in a rush,

He said holy piss,

You'd better tell Fliss,

As your cock looks like cornmeal mush.

Next topic: Will Smith's arm.

[Old Gold]

There once was a Prince who was Fresh

Who's arm got in a hell of a mess

When his uncle Phil

dropped a big power drill

and sprayed blood all up Hillary's dress.

Next topic: An ugly dog.

[Teabags]

Suspecting that I now had thrush,

I went to the doc in a rush,

He said holy piss,

You'd better tell Fliss,

As your cock looks like cornmeal mush.

holy fuck I hope she head this.

[Jaaakkkeee]

I was once walking through fog

when i saw the most ugly dog

the owner stunk of bo

and her tits hung quite low

but I decided to giver her a snog

Next : wanking.

[Shaki]

When my girlfriend goes to bed early

I look up pics of Liz Hurley

I lie on my back

have a good whack

and make myself a necklace that's pearly

Next: Nick Clegg

[Bigsby]

There once was a man called Nick

To his word he did not stick

He broke his students pledge

Now they need a big wedge

And their degree will be going on tick

Next: Sam Allardyce

[FOX]

Next: Sam Allardyce

There once was an old man called Sam,

Who said "good at this management, I am."

Went to Newcastle,

Wasn't "worth the hassle",

Spent Christmas with his head in his hands.

Next: POLAND.

(ps. I suck at this.)

[Jaaakkkeee]

There once was a man named Jo

Who came from the Land of Po.

He got lots of stick

from big racist pricks.

So he battered them all. K.O.

Next: Sex on tv

[Bigsby]

There once was a man called Cloud

Repeating "I'M IN POLAND", quite loud

He says it's better there

But we really don't care

Back to Britain he shouldn't be allowed

Next: Russ Abbott

[Paranoid Android]

At the weekends I go out to party

Searching for a girl to fuck me

But I'm not very ace

so they spit in my face

And I settle for sex on tv

Next: Tennis

[Jaaakkkeee]

I watch tennis for only one reason.

And that's for the flirtatious teasin'.

To hear the girls moan

and to hear them all groan

is definitely sexually pleasin'.

Andy gray is next.

[Alan Cynic]

Russ Abbott plays tennis quite well

But his feet soon build up quite a smell

He thinks it's a joke when the fans start to croak

He's just a twat, truth to tell!

(and Andy Gray's smelly as well!)

....pigs heads...

[Soda Jerk]

Gray and Keysy are two of a kind

Oggling women until they go blind

One day off the air

They asked Redknapp "would you dare

take your Louise and smash her from behind?"

Do one about Tiger Woods.

[Guest B. Arthur]

They say he's the worlds best golf player,

When he's not banging chicks in his lair,

20 women a night,

He treats them just right,

All whilst his bottom is bare!

Next; Pippa Middleton's arse

[Teabags]

Her dress is a sight to behold

But from behind it looks better Im told

It sure wasn't a farce

Cos she's got quite a lovely arse

And in it, I'd go mining for gold.

Next...Lucky Rathen

[Bigsby]

His name's Ryan and he's a bit odd

Wears a 'tache and he's got a short bod

Though he plays mean guitar

For Deadloss Superstar

I preferred when he wasn't a mod

Next: Fred West

[Alan Cynic]

Fred had a lady or five

That he fancied while they were alive

So he'd quickly drill 'em, then help Rosie kill 'em

And bury them under the drive

Next.....shutterspeed

[ca_gere]

there was once a band called the speed

musical norms they did not heed

grungin all dey, 'nyah' they would say

at least people attended their first gig, which is a lot more than most other bands can say, maybe more should follow their lead.

next... that guy who wears tartan, constantly shops at morrisons and smells of cheap aftershave.