Moose Posted April 28, 2010 Report Share Posted April 28, 2010 Not much of a prankster really. One good one, because it worked boooootifully, came about when my flatmate made me some rissoto type dish. There were pine nuts in it that weren't that noticable so two bites in the dish I said (while pretending my tounge was swelling): "r dare pine nts in 'is?". I proceeded to pretend I was having an allergic reaction while my poor flatmate paniced and proclaimed that he was "sorry." I could only keep it up for about 30 seconds until he reached for his phone to phone an ambulance. He subsequently claimed to be "relieved."Me and my flatmates are always trying to play pranks on each other but they are normally shit and totally obvious. The same flatmate got me with a good one. I had sent my broken i-pod away to be fixed and then when I got it back he slyly took my new one out of the parcel then replaced it with his old, completely battered and broken one. It took me a good 5 minutes to realise and his committment to the prank was commendable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lame Guitarist Posted April 28, 2010 Report Share Posted April 28, 2010 canny beat the old cling film on the toilet! Works wonders if no-one notices at parties and has to take a dump!One of my pals, after passing out after a day on the bevvy, got the word cunt shaved into the back of his head on a lads holiday in Tenerife. Took him a few days to wonder why he was getting strange looks everywhere Had the old eyebrows shaved off and once got covered in felt tip pen (Won't repeat the words), after I passed out at a party, which was my usual after too much bevvy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Motleyal Posted April 28, 2010 Report Share Posted April 28, 2010 One of my pals, after passing out after a day on the bevvy, got the word cunt shaved into the back of his head on a lads holiday in Tenerife. Took him a few days to wonder why he was getting strange looks everywhere I pray that this was tunk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gooch_Taylor Posted April 28, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 28, 2010 A mate of mine started working at the pool in Inverurie whare I worked a few years back. Told him there was too much hot water in the deep end and too much cold water in the shallow end. Cue 30 mins of him taking buckets of "cold" water from the shallow end, walking up poolside and emptying them into the deep end to cool it down.Same guy also spent an hour filling out a form we'd made up, using a stopwatch to test the accuracy of both Speedo clocks for times of 5secs, 10secs, 15secs and so on up to two mins, taking three readings for each and working out the average. He had such a proud look on his face when he walked into the area manager's office to hand over his hard work... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted April 30, 2010 Report Share Posted April 30, 2010 Chef dies after feeling eel | The Sun |NewsTook it too far? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moose Posted April 30, 2010 Report Share Posted April 30, 2010 "A CHEF has died after an EEL was put up his bum."Easily the best first sentance of a news story ever. Outstanding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gooch_Taylor Posted April 30, 2010 Author Report Share Posted April 30, 2010 One hell of an advert for anal lube tho!"I got my whole fist in there!""Amateur - check out what we can fit up his shit pipe with a liberal application of some It Only Bleeds The First Time, from the new range of sex aids from Johnson & Johnson. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christy Posted April 30, 2010 Report Share Posted April 30, 2010 "A CHEF has died after an EEL was put up his bum."Easily the best first sentance of a news story ever. Outstanding.Should've taken him to a Faith 'Eeler rather than to A & Eel. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gypsum_Fantastic Posted April 30, 2010 Report Share Posted April 30, 2010 Ttttttttttttttttaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaxxxxxxxxxxxxiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The59Sound Posted April 30, 2010 Report Share Posted April 30, 2010 When one of my friends lived in student accommodation, one of their flatmates was reportedly an utter arsehole. After some particularly arsehole-ish conduct, they retaliated by taking "his" drawer from the kitchen, filling it with water and putting it in the freezer. They left it there a while, and then replaced it in the unit. Cue the boy going to get a fork / knife / spoon from the drawer, pulling it out of the cabinet and staring down at his cutlery frozen in a block of ice, in the drawer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jf9tp2wd40 Posted May 1, 2010 Report Share Posted May 1, 2010 When one of my friends lived in student accommodation, one of their flatmates was reportedly an utter arsehole. After some particularly arsehole-ish conduct, they retaliated by taking "his" drawer from the kitchen, filling it with water and putting it in the freezer. They left it there a while, and then replaced it in the unit. Cue the boy going to get a fork / knife / spoon from the drawer, pulling it out of the cabinet and staring down at his cutlery frozen in a block of ice, in the drawer.i did something similar to an asshole boss in a restaraunt i used to work in, handed in my notice and on my last night took ALL the cutlery trays, filled them with water and stuck them in the deep freeze. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scootray Posted May 1, 2010 Report Share Posted May 1, 2010 The last two "pranks" are poor. If they were such assholes, why not shit in the cutlery drawer? If you're going to prank someone, put some effort into it. And sweetcorn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth Posted May 3, 2010 Report Share Posted May 3, 2010 The last two "pranks" are poor. If they were such assholes, why not shit in the cutlery drawer? If you're going to prank someone, put some effort into it. And sweetcorn.Or shit in the freezer AND the drawer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gooch_Taylor Posted May 6, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 6, 2010 Spoke to someone I used to work with earlier and remembered what I did to him when his mum started letting him go out drinking with the guys at work: Offered a bar of chocolate around the other guys (who were in on it) then our victim. Thinking he was being clever, he broke off 8 of the 10 squares on the bar and scoffed it, not knowing it was chocolate laxative. A little later, we checked the dosage instructions and discovered it was one square a DAY you were meant to take. We proceeded to get him mangled and pissed ourselves laughing at our in joke all night - even "fuelled him up" with a kebab at the end of the night.He was shitting through the eye of a needle for three days... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gooch_Taylor Posted May 6, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 6, 2010 If anyone did that to me i would have no mercy in getting you back. Keeping all the shit in a bag and forcing it down your throat would be a warm up.He was working the next day and they kept a tally on the whiteboard at reception of how many times he was spotted going into the toilet. Think it was 13 during an 8hr shift, but that could be exaggerated, cause I was in bed with a hangover at the time.We never told him for about 4 or 5 months cause his mum was mates with our boss... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gooch_Taylor Posted May 6, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 6, 2010 Are you mates with Kerrazy Ross too?Who's that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted May 6, 2010 Report Share Posted May 6, 2010 his username is jftpwtfomglolrofl012249876543210 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skubbs Posted May 6, 2010 Report Share Posted May 6, 2010 My boss got me today when I was making an order with our packaging supplier, fucker wrote "disposable left handed ice scoop" on the list whilst I was making the call... cue me looking at him with a raised eyebrow, he looked at me with a serious face and nodded that we needed one. The moment I told the lassy on the phone I needed this specific scoop he was rolling about laughing his arse off, and I had to explain I was the victim of a prank. What's worse is she continued to look for this scoop on the order list for five minutes, ignoring my explanation of "my manager is a twat"He's a cunt, haha, he's drawn permanent marker moustaches on people and covered folk in whipped cream mid-shift, so you can't go and change.He seems to have gotten worse since the prankster from another costa moved to us, when he's bored the sets all the panini timers to different times to wind up the person given the job of taking paninis to tables. He got the new guy, the poor lad went back 4 times within 6 minutes, not realising that he was getting wound up. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaseyBoi Posted May 6, 2010 Report Share Posted May 6, 2010 I sometimes hand our materials lassie the serial number 80085 and have a little giggle thats shes quoting boobs as a serial number...Sorry but thats as kraaaazy as i get.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig ybgiR Posted May 6, 2010 Report Share Posted May 6, 2010 My boss got me today when I was making an order with our packaging supplier, fucker wrote "disposable left handed ice scoop" on the list whilst I was making the call... cue me looking at him with a raised eyebrow, he looked at me with a serious face and nodded that we needed one. The moment I told the lassy on the phone I needed this specific scoop he was rolling about laughing his arse off, and I had to explain I was the victim of a prank. What's worse is she continued to look for this scoop on the order list for five minutes, ignoring my explanation of "my manager is a twat"He's a cunt, haha, he's drawn permanent marker moustaches on people and covered folk in whipped cream mid-shift, so you can't go and change.He seems to have gotten worse since the prankster from another costa moved to us, when he's bored the sets all the panini timers to different times to wind up the person given the job of taking paninis to tables. He got the new guy, the poor lad went back 4 times within 6 minutes, not realising that he was getting wound up.HAHAHA!!On another note...is the new guy being paid? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skubbs Posted May 6, 2010 Report Share Posted May 6, 2010 He came from Waterstones so was already on the system Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Zero Posted May 7, 2010 Report Share Posted May 7, 2010 I sometimes balance buckets of water on top of doors...or leave banana skins just around a corner...or put boot polish on telephones...or connect car batteries to door handles.I'm f**king wacky, me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bob Knob Posted May 7, 2010 Report Share Posted May 7, 2010 I sometimes balance buckets of water on top of doors...or leave banana skins just around a corner...or put boot polish on telephones...or connect car batteries to door handles.I'm f**king wacky, me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted May 17, 2010 Report Share Posted May 17, 2010 A few days ago while getting ready for bed I decided to run my hand under the cold tap for as long as I could stand. Then I got into bed and gave my girlfriend a hug... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gooch_Taylor Posted May 17, 2010 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2010 A few days ago while getting ready for bed I decided to run my hand under the cold tap for as long as I could stand. Then I got into bed and gave my girlfriend a hug...I'd get several VERY hard punches to the cock for that one! Take it she wasn't too happy...Still hoping I get the chance to grate some Irn Bru fudge over a pizza somebody's got in the oven and wait to see their reaction. It looks like a block of cheese anyway, so it MIGHT not get noticed. Bit of a waste of tasty fudge tho. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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