Gooch_Taylor

He's also an ugly cunt who looks like he went to boarding school and tells everyone how good he is at rugby, but suspiciously never plays when the guys ask him to join them for a game.

Today I actually threw up at work. I'm not ill, just had to do something rank... Some bastard flushed a pair of Speedos in the changing room toilets. Some other cunt, or possibly the same person, took a shit, then used more toilet paper than any one person should use in a week. Lastly, some prick shat on top of this blocked monsrosity and obviously didn't wipe their arse, as it was sitting proudly on top of the pile - which was, by this time, about halfway up the inside of the pan. We didn't know about the Speedos being there, so spent much of the morning coming back to it, trying to clear it. Eventually, another manager came in, got shoulder deep and pulled out the Speedos. He then got me to clean up the mess that had been made, as the toilet had overflowed, sending shit all over the floor, as well as disposing of the culprit Speedos. Fucking shit day.

Up - was warned by a mate that the first ten mins or so are pretty heavy. Still found it pretty harrowing for a kids' film. The whole film is ace tho. Seriously impressed by it. Got it on Blu-ray with a shitload of special features from Asda for 3 cause they'd lost the box. If I'd known how good it was beforehand, I would happily have paid full price. 9.5/10

I believe I stalked Fatboy today. Went out to Overton and I think it was him who I spoke to. Assuming he has no clue who I am.

Die Cunts! Ringo Starr Queen Elizabeth II Paul O'Grady Kim Jong Il Kurt Angle Margaret Tatcher Al Jarreau Al Megrahi Micheal Keaton Amy Winehouse Kate Middleton (Joker) Jack Nicholson Sir David Jason Sir Sean Connery Johnny Vegas Morgan Freeman Kerry Catona Muhammed Ali Michael Douglas Aretha Franklin I have a question - the rule states that we'll get extra points if they die on their birthday or Christmas. Can that be extended to dying at their wedding? Just thinking of the mass of potential points for my joker if there's a terrorist attack (like I'm counting on)

So... funniest for women and guys who like a good tug over women in their twenties dressed as teenagers? Teabags'll have LOVED that!

Toy Story - As an adult (in body, probably not mind), I thought I'd not enjoy watching this again. I was proved wrong and actually enjoyed it more than when I first saw it years ago. A mate today told me his friend got his hands on the uncut version of A Serbian Film, watched it and said it takes shock film-making to a new level. He says he's borrowing it from him later this week and offered to copy it for me - I have less than no desire to see it

Call me pedantic if you like... but isn't Bieber about 16 and therefore not eligible?

Die Cunts! Ringo Starr Queen Elizabeth II Paul O'Grady Kim Jong Il Kurt Angle Margaret Tatcher Al Jarreau Al Megrahi Micheal Keaton Amy Winehouse Kate Middleton (Joker) Jack Nicholson Sir David Jason Sir Sean Connery Johnny Vegas Morgan Freeman Kerry Catona Muhammed Ali Michael Douglas Aretha Franklin

Either last Sunday or last Friday night (can't remember which) I found the pilot for Sons of Anarchy on TV. Only saw 3/4 of it, but thought it was ace. Told the missus I wanted to start watching it and was thinking of looking for it on DVD. Christmas morning rolls around and turns out my mum got the first two seasons for me about two weeks before I'd seen it. Loving it - brilliant show. Slowly making my way through season one now.

Here's to finishing last Friday and not being back til the ninth!

As much as I reckon the book'll be full of conjecture and downright lies for the most part, I'm guessing a good chunk of it will be at least close to the truth.

Been watching a few Jet Li films recently for no apparent reason other than they're the closest films to hand when I put the preceeding one back in its place. War - Jet and Statham in a film that is absolutely terrible. Only really worth watching for Devon Aoki and Nadine Velasquez. Having said that, they're barely in it anyway. Romeo Must Die - The first film made in America that he was actually the leading man in. Alright, funny in places, but ruined by some shonky CG. Aaliyah's quite hot in it. The One - Watchable nonsense, the storyline of which is like a badly updated Highlander concept. Statham's in this one too, but much less annoying. Delroy Lindp is for some reason my favourite in the film - apart from Carla Gugino. The Expendables - Ace! Not as good on a second watching, but still brilliant just for the sheer nostalgia brought on by it being so sweet a homage to the late 80s/early 90s action films I grew up on (right down to the deliberately bad CG fire near the end) and comical action hero lines.

Scientology - it teaches you to disconnect from all normal human respnses - such as erections.

Still deserves a punch just because the ting tings are fucking gash. Bono and George Michael are unarguable additions to the list however.

Want!

Agreed - nice arse too

hmmm... hot kids TV presenters... Cat Deeley, Zoe Ball was no bad a few years ago. Didn't Gail Porter start out in kids TV before turning into Patrick Stewart?

Anything happens, we know it's probably her.

I had about three hairs on my balls at the time - I wasn't picky.

Bitch next door, who has made our lives a misery for the last two months by having constant late-night gatherings, constantly shouting when she talks to her boyfriend at two am, possibly dealing and attracting large droves of junkies to the building and, of course, threatening my missus while four guys gave me the evils standing behind her, has to be out of her flat by the end of today. Moral of the story - complain and complain about bastard neighbours until something gets done. The system works!

Ahhh - I was more excited when Katie Hill took a mud bath in her bikini.

Shaved my head about three and a half years ago and I apparently looked a bit like Russell Crowe in Romper Stomper - never seen it. A guy I used to know apparently got mistaken for James from Busted a few years ago and an announcement went out on Northsound One, which filtered through to the DJ in Blue bar, who announced that he was there - queue some hastily signed autographs and legging it before getting rumbled. I wasn't there, so can't confirm it, but he did look like a boyband fanny at the time.

What really fucks me off are the stupid cunts who do what a woman did to me last night - drive down past Union Square, take a right onto Riverside Drive and the first roundabout you come to (with the BP/M&S next to it), undertake three cars so she's parrarell with me, only to go straight on at the roundabout, cutting me off when the road was a bit skitey. You can only go left in that fucking lane, you daft bitch! When I hit the horn, this woman in her forties, with an 18ish year old girl in the passenger seat, started going mental, giving me abuse. She turned off at the last possible point before she'd have to stop right next to mine, in which case, she'd have gotten a verbal attack that'd make her piss her fucking self.

If you try this and succeed, you will become my hero.