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Pet Hates!


Guest idol_wild

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Guest Gladstone

The absolute mentalness that ensues when a wasp comes within 100 yards of people is ridiculous. I remember being stung when I was 4 and remembering it was the sorest thing in the world. I do also remember feeling a tiny scratch and not wailing until I realised the tiny scratch was a wasp stinging me. I was stung as a teenager and that's all it was - a tiny scratch, like getting an injection from the doctor or something.

I'm not quite sure why people are so petrified of them. I don't particularly like them cos I don't enjoy being stung in the eyeballs, but running around as if there's a guy with a machine gun coming round the corner is a bit over the top.

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Moths are horrible. Wasps are my friends. If you don't aknowledge them, even when they land on your fucking face, you'll be fine. I've never been stung by one.

I've never been stung by one either, but not because of my calmness when they land on me. Probably mroe down to my lightning quick reactions and pace to bat it off me and leg it down the street.

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Wasps = cunts ... skinheads of the insect world...

I was once stung by one when I was innoccently browsing a shop window that had a display of Ninja Swords.... I suddenly felt a massive chest pain... I was convinced I was having a heart attack ... :eek: until I saw the skinhead stripey cunt flying out from underneath my jacket. :mad: My left chest swelled up and I had a left breast ... :woohoo: sadly I couldnt play with it as it hurt too much (I did try). This awful fate was only solved by drinking a bottle of cool white wine, followed by much beer. Result was a hangover of biblical proportions but not a sign of left breast.

I reccomend this course of action in case it happens to you.

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The absolute mentalness that ensues when a wasp comes within 100 yards of people is ridiculous. I remember being stung when I was 4 and remembering it was the sorest thing in the world. I do also remember feeling a tiny scratch and not wailing until I realised the tiny scratch was a wasp stinging me. I was stung as a teenager and that's all it was - a tiny scratch, like getting an injection from the doctor or something.

I'm not quite sure why people are so petrified of them. I don't particularly like them cos I don't enjoy being stung in the eyeballs, but running around as if there's a guy with a machine gun coming round the corner is a bit over the top.

I saw a friend of mine get stung in the EYEBALL by a wasp, and now his vision is seriously impaired. That happened because he didn't go mental at its presence and he didn't run away.

Legging it whilst screaming and flailing your arms is what sensible people do. Otherwise you get stung in the eye and your life is ruined.

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Guest Gladstone

There's being calm and not acting like a girl and there's standing all stary-eyed and letting a wasp crawl on your eyeball! It's acceptable to close your eyes!! It's also acceptable to walk away from the wasp calmly and it won't (normally) sting you. I do accept that they are evil little cunts and will sting without provocation but most of the time it's a tiny scratch and it's what you'd get if you'd gone mental anyway and angered the wasp and it will more than likely sting you repeatedly!

I was completely joking when I mentioned getting stung in the eyeballs - I can't believe that's actually happened to someone - absolute nightmare. If I got stung in the eyeball, I would be scared of wasps afterwards I'm sure, but as it happens I was only stung in the arm.

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Guest Gladstone
I probably wouldn't fear wasps so much if I didn't actually see it happen. I did. Now I have the fear. I assume all wasps go for the eyes - the groin of the head.

I'm going to forgive you for having a fear of wasps. Anyone who wasn't witness to your mate getting stung in the eyeball who is scared of wasps deserves to be punched in the chest by Joey Barton.

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I hate the Queen. Who does she think she is giving me two days off college when I have assessments to finish? Stupid fud. Now I'm spending all night going over cash flow statements and ratios to cram it all in for Friday. FUCK YOU, YOU BIG... BITCH.

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Ive been stung 3 or 4 times, its no big deal. The more you flail your arms around and panic the more likely you are to get stung.

You'll forgive me if I ignore any advice on not being stung that's given out by someone who's been stung an inordinate amount of times.

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Last time I got stung by a wasp was many moons ago as I was still at school. I was lying on my bedroom floor doing homework and I moved my foot and suddenly felt the worst pain ever. A wasp had been ambling about the floor and I put my foot on it, stung me right on the in-step. Was actually really painful for days afterwards, I think it was just the sensitivity of the area I got stung on. I hate that fact that this wasp wasn’t even being active it was just being a lazy bastard wandering about my bedroom floor and I was punished for it. I got stung by the benefits cheat of the wasp world. So I do tend to flail about a bit when one comes near. I’m going to even more now, fuck being stung on the bloody eyeball. Although that’s an impressive dedication to the theory of standing still and a wasp won’t hurt you. Also proves it’s largely bollocks. Wasps don’t play by no rules.

My wife has an irrational fear of butterflies and moths, which I always enjoy ripping the piss out of. Those terrifying beasts barely able to fly due to their gargantuan fangs looming out of the pretty flowers at you. I do find big moths a bit creepy but not in any way scary. Butterflies however I just don’t get. Must be the most placid looking thing ever.

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My current pet hate is the wankers who drive these big pick-up truck things, called things like the ‘Warrior’. Replacing the traditional BMW and Audi driver as tossers of the highways.

Apparently you have to take a special test to be allowed to own one, where your driving ability has to emulate the final scenes of ‘Mad Max 2’. Tail-gating, lane barging, driving in the centre of the road rather than the left hand side and apparently they don’t come with indicators as standard.

I’m not sure why these things are necessary beyond outback Australia. The ultimate tiny penis compensator.

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My current pet hate is the wankers who drive these big pick-up truck things, called things like the ‘Warrior’. Replacing the traditional BMW and Audi driver as tossers of the highways.

Apparently you have to take a special test to be allowed to own one, where your driving ability has to emulate the final scenes of ‘Mad Max 2’. Tail-gating, lane barging, driving in the centre of the road rather than the left hand side and apparently they don’t come with indicators as standard.

I’m not sure why these things are necessary beyond outback Australia. The ultimate tiny penis compensator.

I agree with most of this. Audi drivers are still complete and utter cunts though. No exceptions. There are far too many of them in Aberdeen.

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