MC Nice Andrew Posted January 19, 2012 Report Share Posted January 19, 2012 Warm toilet seat at work. There's just no knowing until you sit down. Then it's too late to shift. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoney_stu Posted January 20, 2012 Report Share Posted January 20, 2012 On the toilet theme .... people talking on the mobile phone in the trap next to you whilst you are having a shite ... FFS surely there are some places where you can have peace and quiet ??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted January 21, 2012 Report Share Posted January 21, 2012 The Thai green curry I ordered last night. Fuckers. I was absolutely ravenous, when the guy knocked at the door with it I almost ripped his arm off in the haste to tuck in the tasty treat. Tipped it onto a plate with fried rice and started shovelling, the fucking thing was so salty* I actually couldn't eat it and it went in the bin. I ate animal crackers instead.*insert your own joke here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Android Posted January 21, 2012 Report Share Posted January 21, 2012 insert your own joke here.Why was the Thai green curry too salty? because they put too much salt in it! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted January 21, 2012 Report Share Posted January 21, 2012 Also this:"Hello, welcome to customer care, my name's Ryan, how can I help you?""Hi Bryan". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattJimF Posted January 21, 2012 Report Share Posted January 21, 2012 Also this:"Hello, welcome to customer care, my name's Ryan, how can I help you?""Hi Bryan".I've had Martin, Malcolm, Mark, Mike and Michael before when working on phones, is Matthew so hard to understand??Although does come in handy if you want to fob someone off and they call back in. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted January 21, 2012 Report Share Posted January 21, 2012 Also this:"Hello, welcome to customer care, my name's Ryan, how can I help you?""Hi Bryan".YES! THIS! DEAF CUNTS! FUCK OFF!I've had it all. Moe. Jeff. Jill. Gerald. Jenny, and the most recent one which happened last week - Trevor. How?!"And who am I speaking to?""My name is Joe""Thankyou for your help Trevor"No problem at all, Lugwax. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teabags Posted January 23, 2012 Report Share Posted January 23, 2012 Shit parents.Just back from the ballet with my mum and wee sis, some little cunt kept kicking my mums chair so we politely asked her to stop... it carried on for another ten minutes until the break came up, and we decided to move. Oh well, minky granmother starts mouthing off "well she IS only a kid" eh shut the fuck up, no other kid under the age of 10 near us was kicking fuck out of the seats in front of them, and the shitforbrains mother didn't even offer an apology just a "well I did ask her". Who the hell asks their kid to stop it, you TELL them to stop it.Just after we moved someone else complained about the son from that family playing with his phone during the show.Eugh, control your fucking kids.I agree. We should just make everyone sterile. Like in Children of Men. What a glorious vision (apart form the fascism). No little cunts running around knocking over the juices on sale, biting strangers with their stupid weak fucking milk teeth then crying like a cunt when you punch them in the mouth. If ANYONE bites you randomly you should be allowed to punch them right in their fucking mouth.I fucking hate kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted January 23, 2012 Report Share Posted January 23, 2012 Kids are awesome. A friend had her baby over to my gf's flat the other day and she was the cutest little thing ever. Even when she cried, 'cause she was all chubby her face was so cute and grumpy that I just laughed and she stopped crying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted January 23, 2012 Report Share Posted January 23, 2012 Kids are awesome. A friend had her baby over to my gf's flat the other day and she was the cutest little thing ever. Even when she cried, 'cause she was all chubby her face was so cute and grumpy that I just laughed and she stopped crying.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJJj-TlrikM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted January 23, 2012 Report Share Posted January 23, 2012 Kids are awesome. A friend had her baby over to my gf's flat the other day and she was the cutest little thing ever. Even when she cried, 'cause she was all chubby her face was so cute and grumpy that I just laughed and she stopped crying.Paedo.xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted January 23, 2012 Report Share Posted January 23, 2012 Paedo.xxSoda Jerk missed this. I don't know how. But he did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted January 23, 2012 Report Share Posted January 23, 2012 I can't see the vid he posted. I'd just assumed it was calling you a cunt.xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted January 23, 2012 Report Share Posted January 23, 2012 Soda Jerk missed this. I don't know how. But he did.I didn't. I'm not one for branding out "paedo". It's way below my level. I prefer calling people gay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted January 23, 2012 Report Share Posted January 23, 2012 I can't see the vid he posted. I'd just assumed it was calling you a cunt.xxHe called me gay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted January 23, 2012 Report Share Posted January 23, 2012 I didn't. I'm not one for branding out "paedo". It's way below my level. I prefer calling people gay.Personally I believe there's nowt wrong wi' bein' a woofter, so I don't think it's an effective enough insult.xx 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoney_stu Posted January 24, 2012 Report Share Posted January 24, 2012 Pet hate: ...when you spend a couple of hours updating a vital spredsheet... then hit the save icon... and Windows does its "wee blue circle of wait" .... and you wait ... and you wait.... and you wait ... and you are still waiting 30 minutes later wondering if the fukkin system has actually saved any of your work whilst the circle of wait continues to spin ... aaaaaarggh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirsten Posted January 24, 2012 Report Share Posted January 24, 2012 Cravings for crappy food that isn't made anymore. Today's: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain America Posted January 24, 2012 Report Share Posted January 24, 2012 Cravings for crappy food that isn't made anymore.Today's:They were the bomb with salsa. Their structural integrity with ridges made it viable, unlike regular pringles. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest E.C Posted January 24, 2012 Report Share Posted January 24, 2012 Being currently addicted to Green Day's most recent (and obviously shittest) album. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Android Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 Road works happening outside my flat waking me up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murrr Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 I usually use this thread for petty gripes and capers, but I really fucking despise dirty five-a-side teams. We played a game tonight and lost 10-7. I have absolutely no problem with that: if we lose to a clearly superior team, then that's okay, fair play. When I cannot abide, however, are teams of dirty, filthy, minky fucking pricks who come for a fight first and a game second.Tonight's game was just rank. A team of players who'd kick you if you got past them, elbow you when the ref wasn't looking, kick the ball away when you won a free kick, complain at every opportunity, talk trash completely unnecessarily, clip heels... everything, basically. The worst incident came at the end of the game. They were 3 goals up and comfortable. One of our boys tackled one of theirs and the ball fell to another of our players. Their boy decided to charge in with a boot at knee height and rake it down our player's knee. I don't think I need to elaborate on how dangerous that is and our player was fortunate to leave with just a cut.This really boils my piss. I play football for fun. I'm a pretty competitive guy, but I approach a game completely relaxed and I generally leave in the same state. Some cunts just see sport as an opportunity to unleash their anger on the world. I can only assume that these people had miserable childhoods and grew up think that everything that goes against (like a tackle) them is a personal insult. It's an absolute pathetic mentality and it must be a miserable way to go through life. Hope those guys enjoy spending the rest of their life on the dole; they certainly deserve it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 Once again I must bring up that tosspot Guy who played with us a few times in the ab-music game. Utter cunt. At one game at Goals I pulled my groin right at the start of the game and spent most of the game standing out on the wing because I couldn't run, occasionally hobbling to pick up loose balls. On one such occasion, the ball came in my direction after a goal kick, and I painfully hobbled to pick it up in the far corner, nobody near me, I was in absolutely no position that posed any threat to the opposition, and besides my groin hurt so much I could barely kick it anyway. Your man Guy came steaming up and went right through the back of me, bashed me into the wall and left me a crumpled heap on the floor. He was insufferable at one game at ASV as well. Bawled me out for the entire match when I was on his team, and refused to shake my hand at the end. I dunno why I let that arsehole talk to me the way he did for so long without telling him to go fuck himself. I really really wish I'd been there the time Nef C skelped him and he went home in a huff. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaaakkkeee Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 "Not tonight let's just hang out." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stroopy121 Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 "Not tonight let's just hang out."Honeymoon's over then? That or she's on her .xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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