Chris Posted August 25, 2011 Report Share Posted August 25, 2011 Neighbours are shit. My first ever neighbours were ace. Everyone was friends and it was just the coolest. Then a junkie moved in downstairs which resulted in loads of junkies hanging around outside her door, police at the door and big massive dealers booting the door in. And they left the gate open which my dog would take full advantage of. Then someone got battered by a couple of junkies with massive bits of wood and she got evicted not long after that.OH. Actually, not long before that she got a cat. Realised that a cat needs to piss and shit, and if you're a lazy junkie bastard, it's more than likely going to shit and piss on the floor. She came outside with it one day, just a kitten, and put it on a big of grass and walked away, leaving it to fend for itself. Me and my dad rescued it and phoned sspca. 'cause we're caring bastards.She got evicted and a girl with a kid got put in, turns out she was a junkie too. GREAT.She got booted a while later and was replaced by a couple, nice enough, but they had a massive rhodesian ridgeback. And they had a baby on the way. Oh and the guy was ill, so he tried to stab her and take the baby out of her. The left and got replaced by old neighbours we had who are ace. Who have the cutest kittens and ace kids. But the guy got in a fight recently with a junkie's brother who lives in the flat illegally. Then of course when I got my own flat we had a neighbour who, if she wasn't' having a punch up with her man or drunkenly screaming at her kids, she was cheating on him very loudly. I probably would've, after hearing her, sounded very fun. But it's still fucking annoying when you're trying to sleep.Neighbours in flats are shit. Normal neighbours are great. Mine's an old lady who's at home all day, every day and happily accepts any deliveries we get to the house while we're at work.That's when the bastarding couriers actually bother to follow instructions or check the neighbours instead of just leaving it on the front doorstep without even putting a card through the door. Fucking cretins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diesel Posted August 25, 2011 Report Share Posted August 25, 2011 Holy Mother of God - Jake and Soda have had it tough in the neighbour stakes...and here was me just about to moan about the two wee cunts in Turra who buzz relentlessly about town all evening on their farting oil-can mopeds. What makes it worse is that apart from the usual drunks who seem to think that 3 feet away consitutes shouting distance when "talking" to their mates, Turriff is a relatively quiet and affluent "Old Money" town that isn't populated with brash "Rig Pigs".I have a new Pet Hate De Jour...Driving past a pub/resturant last night, I saw I sign that boasted "Conservatory"...so fucking what?Just exactly how is THAT going enhance my dining experience?Freezing in winter, clammy, smelly and horrible in summer and populated by the worst kind of lower working class piggery - you know the type - 20-stone, arm-and-ankle-tattoed mum, mouthbreathing, fag-smoke reeking, sportswear clad, bonehead dad, at least two ill-mannered and ill-tempered brats, pushchairs and highchair taking up half the fucking floor space and all to the incessant mantra from Hog-Mum, "Shane...Shane...SHANE!!!! stoap 'at!!! - leave Shania alone...Shane...Shane...SHANE!!!"Fuck yer fuckin' conservatories up the fuckin' hole! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoney_stu Posted August 25, 2011 Report Share Posted August 25, 2011 RantsNothing like being a west coaster to give you a chip on both shoulders...Mind you I did have a similar experience in breakfast conservatory at Gleneagles earlier this year, An "Alisdair & Fiona" were having issues with there 3 badly behaved boys Findlay, Tarquin and Clive... the wee shits were winding each other up and all Mum would do was whine at her husband ... neither did anything to stop the behaviour of the kids!!! .... it nearly put me off my devilled kidneys and Stornoway Black Pudding.... and not a tattooed mink in sight ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Zero Posted August 25, 2011 Report Share Posted August 25, 2011 An old favourite - people at gigs. Or rather, the people who seem to end up at gigs at the Music Hall or AECC. I honestly didn't expect Interpol to attract the sort of troglodytes that crawl out of the woodwork your Ian Brown/Arctic Monkeys type affair but I was wrong. These people act as if the only time they ever go near alcohol is for a gig and that they have combined said excursion with some form of reunion. Stood in the same spot for about 90 minutes awaiting Interpol last night, 2 blokes and a lass found their way into the space in front of us and then slowly but surely another few joined them, including one who seemed to have some sort of ape-like sign language involving continual thumbs up/sideways/downwards movement for about 5 minutes at a time. Every time one of them went to the bar/toilet/wherever, their return was greeted as if they had been missing in the Himalayas for years on end. Completely oblivious to the fact that others hadn't paid 20-odd quid to watch their strange social interactions. In the words of the Anti-Nowhere League - I HATE PEOPLE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted August 25, 2011 Report Share Posted August 25, 2011 Accidentally dropping my iPhone 4 down the toilet a few weeks ago Going into the Apple store and them giving me a brand new one for free, no questions asked Forgetting to put a screen protector on it, putting it in the same pocket as my keys and scratching the screen to fuck on my brand new phone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Easy Wishes Posted August 25, 2011 Report Share Posted August 25, 2011 Accidentally dropping my iPhone 4 down the toilet a few weeks ago Going into the Apple store and them giving me a brand new one for free, no questions asked Forgetting to put a screen protector on it, putting it in the same pocket as my keys and scratching the screen to fuck on my brand new phone 1. Repeat2. Miss out point three3. Profit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 26, 2011 Report Share Posted August 26, 2011 How disappointing.The original was one of my favourite quips on this website ever. That, and all the great tags.Tags were great.Bring back tags.The tags were shit. I'm glad they're gone. Fuck tags. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eupraxia Posted August 26, 2011 Report Share Posted August 26, 2011 The tags were shit. I'm glad they're gone. Fuck tags.Now now. There's no need to fuck tags just because they fucked you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 26, 2011 Report Share Posted August 26, 2011 Now now. There's no need to fuck tags just because they fucked you.They don't call me Nefarious Cunt for nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Easy Wishes Posted August 26, 2011 Report Share Posted August 26, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted August 26, 2011 Report Share Posted August 26, 2011 Now now. There's no need to fuck tags just because they fucked you.Someone rep this on my behalf please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted August 26, 2011 Report Share Posted August 26, 2011 Mother nature.First there was an earthquake and now a hurricane. I'm getting sent home from work early and might even be getting evacuated from my apartment. Problem is I don't know how much to worry, news networks obviously sensationalize things but all indicators suggest it could be a big un.It's not only the danger from the weather I'm worried about its all the crazies too. After the earthquake there were at least five cases in the city where mentalists who thought the world was ending got a bit stabby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TelecasterSam Posted August 26, 2011 Report Share Posted August 26, 2011 It looks from the News reports here, that its gonna be a big slow one, maybe taking 20 - 21 hrs to pass..... and they say the storm is as big as Europe !get yersel some wellies, sou'wester, umbrella, water wings, snorkel & flippers.... whatever you might need mate, cuz it looks like you might end up swimming ! seriously though.... take care ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
framheim Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 using 1200 MS points on an xbox originals game which doesn't fucking work. what's the point microsoft? you fucking tools.also Joey Barton being referred to (on bbc breakfast) as the bard of twitter. REALLY?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 Mother nature.First there was an earthquake and now a hurricane. I'm getting sent home from work early and might even be getting evacuated from my apartment. Problem is I don't know how much to worry, news networks obviously sensationalize things but all indicators suggest it could be a big un.It's not only the danger from the weather I'm worried about its all the crazies too. After the earthquake there were at least five cases in the city where mentalists who thought the world was ending got a bit stabby.Mental. That sounds bad. Stay safe!Hopefully it's nothing major, and you just get a nice bit of time off work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 Mental. That sounds bad. Stay safe!Hopefully it's nothing major, and you just get a nice bit of time off work.It's been downgraded to category 1 and hasn't hit land yet (or maybe it has, just. I'm trying to avoid the news as much as possible). Nature tells me it'll slow down as it passes over land so hopefully it'll be fairly gentle by the time it makes it up here. I've never experienced anything quite like this, pretty terrifying to be honest. Luckily my street is in 'Zone C' which means it's pretty safe and only a category 4 or 5 would cause flooding. Our windows are pretty flimsy but my building seems pretty solid. The entire lower manhattan has been evacuated which is completely unprecedented. It's obviously post-katrina extra-precautions but i'm fine with the city being safe rather than sorry, even if it does make people panic a bit more.ach, i'm sure it'll be fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam 45 Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 The fact that hardly any PL games kick off at 3pm on a Saturday these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
framheim Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 The fact that hardly any PL games kick off at 3pm on a Saturday these days.qfti'm watching fucking rugby league right now cause there's no football to care about. jesus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Android Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 I'm watching Chelsea - Norwich. I hope Mata gets a good run out later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 Bosingwoah! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ca_gere Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 Best brows in the prem that guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodsinho Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 qfti'm watching fucking rugby league right now cause there's no football to care about. jesus.Nowt wrong wi' a bit of rugby league. Mon the Rhinos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
framheim Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 Nowt wrong wi' a bit of rugby league. Mon the Rhinos.bloody egg chasing. i'm quite enjoying it though. pretty exciting now leeds are coming back into the game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Android Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 Everything is wrong about Rugby League. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted August 27, 2011 Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 League is mint. Much better than that kick-and-chase poshboy shite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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