Pet Hates!

[Bigsby]

You're my favourite poster ever.

Stop using the boards to get etc etc etc

[Shaki]

Next time I'll just ask for their partners/parents address so I can write them a letter of complaint.

I love that idea!

Dear Sir/Madam

I am writing to bring to your attention the recent rude and improper behaviour of your child/spouse towards myself, an employee at XXXXXXXXX

[Soda Jerk]

Surely a coffee shop can spare a seat for 5 minutes to allow a mother to feed their child? I think there's a bit of a difference between that and sitting in when you bought your grub/drinks elsewhere.

It's the same with places that demand you're paying customer before you're allowed to use their toilets. Get fucked, gashpad. Pissing is a basic human right, not a customer perk. Especially in a day and age where you get a Fixed Penalty for pissing up a wall now.

[Lemonade]

You can't have favourites any more, remember. You have to hate them all equally. Mod training, day one.

Well that's not very fair. I'm sure these plebs have a favourite mod*, so I should be allowed to have a favourite poster.

*Probably not me since I referred to them as plebs. And definitely not Dave.

[Bigsby]

Surely a coffee shop can spare a seat for 5 minutes to allow a mother to feed their child? I think there's a bit of a difference between that and sitting in when you bought your grub/drinks elsewhere.

There was a breast feeding law introduced a couple of years ago if memory serves, think that made it illegal for you to be thrown out of somewhere for breast feeding, but I don't know if it stipulated wether or not you had to buy a largevanilla latte first.

[Shaki]

Well that's not very fair. I'm sure these plebs have a favourite mod*, so I should be allowed to have a favourite poster.

*Probably not me since I referred to them as plebs. And definitely not Dave.

I prefer both you and Dave to Paul Weller.

l8r....

[TelecasterSam]

I guess that's the KEY. You just have to get into the right MODE for this sort of thing.

Well a few of you have really augmented the list of puns....well done... but I did manage to stave off laughing out loud.... is anyone keeping score?

All these embellishments are really good.......

[3CR816]

Surely a coffee shop can spare a seat for 5 minutes to allow a mother to feed their child? I think there's a bit of a difference between that and sitting in when you bought your grub/drinks elsewhere.

It's the same with places that demand you're paying customer before you're allowed to use their toilets. Get fucked, gashpad. Pissing is a basic human right, not a customer perk. Especially in a day and age where you get a Fixed Penalty for pissing up a wall now.

All this shit is enforced by people who step into an actual retail outlet twice a year tops, chat to the manager for a bit and then fuck off for a slap up meal somewhere. I'm kind of torn on it. Retail employees have rights too, although plenty of people seem to treat them like Coke machines with dirty words scrawled on them. They shouldn't really have to put up with being toilet attendants and shops and pubs are private property. On the other hand, a lot of what was once public space is now coroporately owned. People own Union Square and can set rules, but when places like that replace high-streets, people will want to treat it like their high-street. Those people sitting in Starbucks or where ever in a shopping centre are most likely only using what they assume to be 'public' space. If I was in Slutbag's position I'd find it wearying moving them on as I'd be simultaneously just wanting to let the fuckers have a seat and just waiting for them to take a dump on the floor or whatever it is shopping centre customers do these days.

[Soda Jerk]

There was a breast feeding law introduced a couple of years ago if memory serves, think that made it illegal for you to be thrown out of somewhere for breast feeding, but I don't know if it stipulated wether or not you had to buy a largevanilla latte first.

Does that apply to bottle feeding? I'd probably rather a kid was fed when needed, than have some poor woman carting around an endlessly screaming baby until she can find a seat unchartered by the coffee shop military.

In reality, I have zero sympathy for qualms of those who work in customer service, as I'm greeted by absolutely atrocious customer service wherever I go these days it seems, fronted by students who don't really give a fuck. On Saturday, at the Asda petrol station, the guy in the booth not once broke off his dogshit conversation with his spotty mate whilst he took the debit card, and completed the transaction. Not a single word. No hello, no have a nice day, no thankyou. Nowt. Later that day, the girl behind the till at Halfords hadn't realised the chip and pin transaction was complete and just stuck her head into some paper work, whilst we stood there as she forgot we were even there. We eventually got a reciept. No offer of a carrier bag. Bint.

Also, the other week, in Morrison infact, my card got declined (due to a heap of BS with my bank account getting frozen). The girl looked at me, with a gobful of chewing gum and just said "Naaaah". To this, I just shrugged. What does that even mean? She answered with "Your card"... Yeah, what about my card. "It's declined or sumfink". Great. Why did it take you 3 attempts to tell me that? How can a huge chain put someone as socially and mentally inept on the frontline of their customer service, and think that's fine? When I'm paying through the nose for the privelage of some tango'd slagheap scanning my shopping, you expect a bit of welcoming service. When you don't even get an acklowledgement, but instead a barbarian response, you wonder where your money is actually going.

Besides, complaining about stuff is fucking great, and it often lands you with freebies to compensate. Why wouldn't anyone kick up a stink at the most insignificant of opportunities?

[Captain America]

Does that apply to bottle feeding? I'd probably rather a kid was fed when needed, than have some poor woman carting around an endlessly screaming baby until she can find a seat unchartered by the coffee shop military.

In reality, I have zero sympathy for qualms of those who work in customer service, as I'm greeted by absolutely atrocious customer service wherever I go these days it seems, fronted by students who don't really give a fuck. On Saturday, at the Asda petrol station, the guy in the booth not once broke off his dogshit conversation with his spotty mate whilst he took the debit card, and completed the transaction. Not a single word. No hello, no have a nice day, no thankyou. Nowt. Later that day, the girl behind the till at Halfords hadn't realised the chip and pin transaction was complete and just stuck her head into some paper work, whilst we stood there as she forgot we were even there. We eventually got a reciept. No offer of a carrier bag. Bint.

Also, the other week, in Morrison infact, my card got declined (due to a heap of BS with my bank account getting frozen). The girl looked at me, with a gobful of chewing gum and just said "Naaaah". To this, I just shrugged. What does that even mean? She answered with "Your card"... Yeah, what about my card. "It's declined or sumfink". Great. Why did it take you 3 attempts to tell me that? How can a huge chain put someone as socially and mentally inept on the frontline of their customer service, and think that's fine? When I'm paying through the nose for the privelage of some tango'd slagheap scanning my shopping, you expect a bit of welcoming service. When you don't even get an acklowledgement, but instead a barbarian response, you wonder where your money is actually going.

Besides, complaining about stuff is fucking great, and it often lands you with freebies to compensate. Why wouldn't anyone kick up a stink at the most insignificant of opportunities?

I agree with this, well put.

[Old Gold]

Urgh, certainly don't agree with getting irked by a breast feeding mother getting a free comfy chair. One wouldn't make an old wifey stand on the bus.

[Fast Caz]

I stand my ground if there is a client or browsing customer giving me lip about one thing or another and the head honcho supports me on this. I will help 110% and always try to be as possible regardless of how shit the day may have been so far. If a supplier has fucked up and we haven't taken receipt of an item the customer has paid for, don't fucking treat me like I have shat in your daughters cunt you fucking mongoloid prick!!!! Agh. To be fair you choose to work within the retail enviroment then you should know you will no doubt have one cunt of a customer to atleast every 5.

Agree with the point about complaining just to get freebies. Fuck why not? If the supervisor or duty manager is a whiney,snivelling oik then you may aswell milk it for all it worth.

Back to the terrordome.

[Bigsby]

Details of when it's OK for the laydeez to whip 'em out.

BBC NEWS | UK | Scotland | Breastfeeding bill gains approval

"Is that just for junior love?"

[3CR816]

I stand my ground if there is a client or browsing customer giving me lip about one thing or another and the head honcho supports me on this. I will help 110% and always try to be as possible regardless of how shit the day may have been so far. If a supplier has fucked up and we haven't taken receipt of an item the customer has paid for, don't fucking treat me like I have shat in your daughters cunt you fucking mongoloid prick!!!! Agh. To be fair you choose to work within the retail enviroment then you should know you will no doubt have one cunt of a customer to atleast every 5.

Agree with the point about complaining just to get freebies. Fuck why not? If the supervisor or duty manager is a whiney,snivelling oik then you may aswell milk it for all it worth.

Back to the terrordome.

No one chooses to work in retail, though. It's just a way to make a buck or two. Complaining has always made me feel like a Daily Mail reading, Victor Meldrew type. I hate it. Makes me feel dirty.

[Lemonade]

I had the a sort of reverse situation in a cafe in Dundee on Thursday, where the guy refused to give me bad service. When I didn't eat my spaghetti carbonara, the owner/waiter/chef came over to quiz me about why I didn't like it. He wouldn't accept that I actually liked it, I just wasn't that hungry, he kept insisting on cooking me something else for free. Finally I convinced him that no matter what he brought me, I wasn't going to eat it cos I just wasn't hungry so he went away. Then when we got the bill, he refused to charge me for it.

Which was quite nice of him actually. If it was my cafe I would have charged me for it.

The last time I got food from Dundee it was chips and cheese from a burger van and there was a massive pube on top of the cheese. So this was an improvement.

[Bigsby]

The last time I got food from Dundee it was chips and cheese from a burger van and there was a massive pube on top of the cheese.

You must have ordered curly fries.

[Lemonade]

You must have ordered curly fries.

I'm ashamed to say I ate the chips anyway. I was dying of a hangover and I needed unhealthy food fast, so I just picked the pube off and tucked in.

It was from a burger van, and the two women working on the van were big, fat, rough-as-old-boots, missing teeth, home-tattooed, raspy-voiced beasts. So it was almost certainly one of their pubes. For some reason this is much more disgusting to me than it would have been if it was a tidy young lassie whose pube had ended up in my chips. Strange bit of logic that.

[britheguy]

Well a few of you have really augmented the list of puns....well done... but I did manage to stave off laughing out loud.... is anyone keeping score?

All these embellishments are really good.......

I'm just suprised that you are allowed to string this out and there's not be a loud chorus from the other forum users to "stop with the rubbish puns" but I'm sure they will come and hammer on the door soon and told to pedal your wares somewhere else, then you'll be left on your jack jones.

[threeornothing]

brilliant live cash players such as David Peat

How did I miss this classic level. wp

[Skubbs]

Surely a coffee shop can spare a seat for 5 minutes to allow a mother to feed their child? I think there's a bit of a difference between that and sitting in when you bought your grub/drinks elsewhere.

It's the same with places that demand you're paying customer before you're allowed to use their toilets. Get fucked, gashpad. Pissing is a basic human right, not a customer perk. Especially in a day and age where you get a Fixed Penalty for pissing up a wall now.

If they ask politely if it's alright, then of course we would oblige. It's the parents who have dozens of Hobbycraft, Next and Dorothy Perkins bags that have plonked everything down and taken up the comfy sofa that is the customers favourites that is pissing off, then look at you as if you're a piece of shit because you dare ask them if they want or are waiting on a drink. They have no right to be sitting in the customers seating area, just as I would have no right to go sit at a table in a restaurant with no intention of ordering.

Also, there are seats upstairs (next to the lift).

It's not the breastfeeding I'm against (although it is gross, fucking express it into a bottle so you're not whipping your tits out in public), it's the fact that a person is sitting down in a cafe without purchasing anything.

Edit: at the end of the day, it's a cafe. If you don't buy anything you don't have any right to be there and if you're responsible enough to be a parent, you're responsible enough to know your child's feeding times and to be organised about it. Not have dozens of shopping bags, and expecting that it's alright to sit anywhere you fucking like just because you're a parent. I can have you removed by security and when I get spoken to like shit, then I'm very tempted to do so. I haven't but a bit of manners go a long way.

Original Spies - that's shit customer service, I've never scowled or moaned at a customer, I always speak in a slow, polite manner and do it with a non-patronising smile on my face. The fact is, people don't go into a store expecting to be spoken to like shit so why should I expect to get spoken to like shit when I'm working? I shouldn't, so I'm allowed to moan about it.

[Guest]

Was she big, fat and blonde? Lisa is the only girl i can imagine who would give service as awful as that. As for the card thing, sometimes cards just don't work first or second time and often work the third, so we have a three attempt rule of thumb then if it's still not working then it's probably just not going to work. I actually want to apologise for whoever it was that served you, i always try my best to be polite and explain situations to customers, although i don't always do well.

Good man, John.

[Skubbs]

If it's an RBS card we are having trouble with it, the only explanation we got was because they still have Maestro cards out there whilst changing to Visa so that's messing with the system. I thought your card got blocked after the 3rd attempt?

[Alkaline]

Does that apply to bottle feeding? I'd probably rather a kid was fed when needed, than have some poor woman carting around an endlessly screaming baby until she can find a seat unchartered by the coffee shop military.

In reality, I have zero sympathy for qualms of those who work in customer service, as I'm greeted by absolutely atrocious customer service wherever I go these days it seems, fronted by students who don't really give a fuck. On Saturday, at the Asda petrol station, the guy in the booth not once broke off his dogshit conversation with his spotty mate whilst he took the debit card, and completed the transaction. Not a single word. No hello, no have a nice day, no thankyou. Nowt. Later that day, the girl behind the till at Halfords hadn't realised the chip and pin transaction was complete and just stuck her head into some paper work, whilst we stood there as she forgot we were even there. We eventually got a reciept. No offer of a carrier bag. Bint.

Also, the other week, in Morrison infact, my card got declined (due to a heap of BS with my bank account getting frozen). The girl looked at me, with a gobful of chewing gum and just said "Naaaah". To this, I just shrugged. What does that even mean? She answered with "Your card"... Yeah, what about my card. "It's declined or sumfink". Great. Why did it take you 3 attempts to tell me that? How can a huge chain put someone as socially and mentally inept on the frontline of their customer service, and think that's fine? When I'm paying through the nose for the privelage of some tango'd slagheap scanning my shopping, you expect a bit of welcoming service. When you don't even get an acklowledgement, but instead a barbarian response, you wonder where your money is actually going.

Besides, complaining about stuff is fucking great, and it often lands you with freebies to compensate. Why wouldn't anyone kick up a stink at the most insignificant of opportunities?

Unfortunately retail is now crammed with socially inept people because most people in this country seem to think that working in retail is beneath them.

[Guest]

Unfortunately retail is now crammed with socially inept people because most people in this country seem to think that working in retail is beneath them.

Agree 100% Best thing I ever did was work with my Dad, he gave me a boot up the arse if I was ever anything other than hardworking, polite and attentive to any customers.Lots of life lessons from that fat, crazy man.

If I ever acted upmyself, I fucking knew about it. Massive bollocking.

[Soda Jerk]

Unfortunately retail is now crammed with socially inept people because most people in this country seem to think that working in retail is beneath them.

I fully agree. It seems to be entry level stuff that people do on the side, or when they leave school, which is understandable considering the often low rate of pay. Having worked in retail myself, it appears that the quality control is non-existent at the interview stage, and just about anyone can get the job, rather than giving it to anyone who might bare any sort of customer service skills. I got 2 supermarket jobs when I was 16/17 by turning up to the interview in casual clothes, insisting I couldn't work weekends and when asked why I wanted the job, I said I needed the money. I'm pretty sure I could have turned up naked, taken a shit on the desk, and answered every question by commenting on the interviewers mother, and still got the job. But it's not going to get any better when customer service jobs are minimum wage and unforgiving hours.

I personally don't delve into customer service jobs anymore because I just fucking detest everyone. I think you need to be one of those smiley smarmy pricks that likes clingy chatter and being overly social to succeed in that field. S'just not me.