Monster Zero Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 That path that goes down the side of Markies to the road between St Nicks Centre and St Nicks House. 9 times out of 10, there is an OAP couple shuffling a couple of inches per second at the most, and walking side by side. They must know how utterly slow they are going, as I'm sure they get angrily overtaken all the time, yet they still spread themselves across the whole path. I swear they just stand around that area and wait to get in your way, and you can see them before you get to the path, so you just know its going to happen. .Old folk don't have nothing better to do than go out and fuck with people...like teenagers on the dole. Bet they go home and watch (Wrinkly) Skins. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skubbs Posted March 28, 2010 Report Share Posted March 28, 2010 Prepare for rant time... it's been a long week!Fucking retarded customers at work, we've just closed and there are barriers up fucking everywhere, the lights in the fridges are all turned off and every member of staff is cleaning, then you get some old bint with a dozen bags asking if she can have a take away coffee, is fucked off when you explain that no, sit in coffee and take away coffee are made in the same way, it's just the cup that differs so no she can't because the machine has been cleaned, and she parks her arse!!! THE SEATING AREA IS FOR CUSTOMERS ONLY, FUCK OFF! You ask her to leave and you get a "huff, well I did want a drink but you're closed..." YES SO FUCK OFF.Minkers who are sitting in the back area, with a bottle of cherry cola and a sandwich from WH Smith. "oh but I bought it here" "really? Well we don't sell those sandwiches, and we don't stock cherry cola, so you'll have to leave and sit in the seating area upstairs" cue loads of swearing from sweaty, nike-clad chav.There was one bitch who was feeding her baby, eh if you don't want to spend 1.65 on a cup of tea then you can fuck off and organise your shopping around your child's (WHO YOU DECIDED TO HAVE) feeds, instead of the other way around. I don't care if the store isn't packed out the door, the fact is you're limiting the seating choice of actual customers, and ironically you've chosen the comfiest seat for you to sit down and whip your pap out for your moaning kid.Also what fucks me off is folk who say "oh i'd like it extra hot please" Really? There is no such thing as fucking extra hot, if I heat it more than the allowed amount that means the milk is burnt, dumbass. It's not fucking starbucks or tinderbox, we use these fancy contraptions called themometers. And numpties who ask for no milk in their cappucinos, eh wtf do you think makes the froth?????? MILK FUCKWIT. And people who moan that we don't have semi-skimmed milk, if that's your biggest let-down in life then you really need to get out more. It's skimmed or whole. Daft bastards who ask for skimmed hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows really fuck me off, what the hell is the point?? Skimmed hot choc tastes like watery shit so why not just go the whole hog and have whole milk? Oh no but your arse might get too big, WELL STOP HAVING FUCKING CREAM AND MARSHMALLOWS YOU TWAT.I'm also hating the little discussion on the union square facebook page, some little chav wants a McDonalds in the place. Eh does Union Square look as if it's aimed at neddy little 15 year olds who only get 2 pocketmoney? No, piss off to Union St and hang about outside the one there.Rant over psst. I'm only pissed off because the majority of customers ask for these things in a pissed off narky voice. Ask me politely and I'll happily oblige. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Stu Posted March 28, 2010 Report Share Posted March 28, 2010 LOL @ WHO YOU DECIDED TO HAVE. Sadly, rep must be spread.Fuck making other people tea for a living. Other people are insane about their tea. Especially the piping hot thing. This is why I always make my own tea. I don't even want other people to make my tea for free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skubbs Posted March 28, 2010 Report Share Posted March 28, 2010 We have this machine at the side of the coffee machine that just boils water all day, some idiot decided it wasn't hot enough and wanted us to use the steam arm and boil it in front of him. I hate when I'm going too fast and turn the tap off too late from the water machine, it hurts like fuck, so how that tube said it wasn't hot enough confuses me. Honestly, I wonder what goes on in some people's heads at times.It's the getting spoken to like shit that I hate, or the know-it-all "I'd like it like THIS" even though you know they're making a starbucks order. e.g. "I'd like an extra hot tall soy decaf latte." and my response "um, I don't know what 'tall' is since I don't visit Starbucks so is that a medium or large soya decaf latte you would like...?"I'm not even a fucker and make people say medio or massimo, medium or large is enough.I laugh because if I spoke to a person like that they would expect to speak to my manager, but they think that it's perfectly acceptable to speak to me like that? Next time I'll just ask for their partners/parents address so I can write them a letter of complaint. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfer_Rosa Posted March 28, 2010 Report Share Posted March 28, 2010 I think we should start making bets on how long it is before the first report of a customer at Union Square Costa getting their face burnt off with a cup of coffee for being a twat comes in Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delboy Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 in the run up to the election my pet hate will be bullshitting, scheming, robbing, cunty politicians spouting their pish across all platforms. they should be made to wear a huge sign around their neck with the words 'I am a wanker' written on it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 When you take the first spoonful of cereal and you bite your tongue. Thus making each subsequent spoonful painful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SooperKeef Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 Son, when you're as fly as me, the cash-machine gives you 50s even when you ask for a 10. Out of fear.Seriously though, now I'm doubting myself. I've had 50s from somewhere and I don't ever really go into the branch to withdraw cash...Where are these 50 notes coming from?never in my life ive had a 50 when i ask for it morrisons was awesome cuz it only gave 20's for ages and i could get 60 but theyve gone back to 10's.... (morrisons if you take the 23) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aekido Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 @Slutbags McGee... I thought you worked in a motorbike shop or something? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waltz Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 never in my life ive had a 50 when i ask for it morrisons was awesome cuz it only gave 20's for ages and i could get 60 but theyve gone back to 10's.... (morrisons if you take the 23)there's no twenties anymoreand i'd like 60 but i caaaaaaan't Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SooperKeef Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 "it only gave 20's for ages and i could get 60 but theyve gone back to 10's"yeah i knew that i noticed it gave 10's on saturday when i needed money.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3CR816 Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 I once tripped over B minorThis happened to me too. I banged my knee, but the chord wasn't diminished in the slightest. It wasn't a major incident. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SooperKeef Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 People who say "grinds my gears" is my pet hate! yeah that really grinds my gears.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gus Chamber Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 @Slutbags McGee... I thought you worked in a motorbike shop or something?Aye, but the nippy bitch kept driving over the customers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsby Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 I'm not even a fucker and make people say medio or massimo, medium or large is enough.Ooh, that reminds me of a pet hate of mine, people who actually use these pretentious coffee terms. Barista too, anybody who actually says that word out loud is a cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TelecasterSam Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 This happened to me too. I banged my knee, but the chord wasn't diminished in the slightest. It wasn't a major incident.Was it a ...sharp...knock ?..... at least you didn't fall ...flat....on your face !Obviously just a ....minor....incident then ! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skubbs Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 Aye, but the nippy bitch kept driving over the customers.Hahaha well done, was fed up of smartarses trying to tell me why normal jeans were enough for being on the road and why their wife only deserved the cheapest jacket even though it didn't fit her properly.So moved into town and got a job in town that's got pretty flexible hours. It's just some Saturdays are utter hell. Not all of them, just some. Depends if it's a full moon that night or not haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3CR816 Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 Was it a ...sharp...knock ?..... at least you didn't fall ...flat....on your face !Obviously just a ....minor....incident then ! All excellent! The SCALE of your puns really puts mine to shame. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skubbs Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 Oh forgot to mention, there was one tinky fucker who took one of the free newspapers (just bought) sat down and pulled the entire thing apart, obviously wanting to enjoy reading it slowly. I asked him if he was waiting on any drinks "eh no love, eh someone's coming in five mins..." "oh would you like me to get you a drink while you wait, it's just that these seats and the newspapers are for customers only""nah, I'll get one in a minute"my thoughts - the fucker is going to leave the paper in pieces, and run once I turn my back.What he did - left the paper in pieces and ran once my back was turned.Just buy a bloody cup of tea or coffee, and you can sit there as long as you like or go and buy your own paper for 60p. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SooperKeef Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 All excellent! The SCALE of your puns really puts mine to shame.maybe there is a delay in the effect of the minor incident, it may reverb and hurt later? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkaline Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 My patience for this thread has diminished. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 All excellent! The SCALE of your puns really puts mine to shame.Dinna fret, just take note. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3CR816 Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 Dinna fret, just take note.I guess that's the KEY. You just have to get into the right MODE for this sort of thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lemonade Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 raaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrr coffee shop customers flatmates neds etc.You're my favourite poster ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frosty Jack Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 You're my favourite poster ever. You can't have favourites any more, remember. You have to hate them all equally. Mod training, day one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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