Soda Jerk Posted December 23, 2009 Report Share Posted December 23, 2009 correction I choose not to break the law, I don't have a licencealso it's a pet hates thread.... I'll have a fucking go at anyone I choose ok!That's probably why it's a Pet Hates thread, and not a Have a Fucking Go At Everyone thread. Unless I, specifically, am your Pet Hate... That'd make me feel pretty badass, actually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3CR816 Posted December 23, 2009 Report Share Posted December 23, 2009 Tutorial levels in video games."HUR DUR HUR PRESS THE RIGHT TRIGGER TO FIRE GUN LIKE IN EVERY GAME EVER!!!1! WELL DONE MARINE GREAT SHOOT!"And after fifteen minutes of mashing a/x/start to skip all that THEN the game intoduces its one novel mechanic, but by this point you're mashing the button so hard you fucking skip it accidently. Fffffffffuuuuuu..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nev Posted December 23, 2009 Report Share Posted December 23, 2009 Cooking guidelines on frozen food.Yes, I've cooked the pie for fifteen minutes, but it's still fucking cold in the middle, and I've only discovered this after eating much of it. I'm not going to put it back in now, am I? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 23, 2009 Report Share Posted December 23, 2009 Where do you work?Which player?What band, which song?Next in the Bon Accord centreI'd rather not say as there is a chance certain people on here would know him personallyTokyo Police Club- Your English is Good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Kernel Loaf Posted December 23, 2009 Report Share Posted December 23, 2009 People who don't fill in tags properly when ripping an album using a particular music player, especially those who name 3/4 songs which are their favourites and just name the rest 'Untitled Track', meaning you have to manually type in every track name yourself. I don't mind doing it for a 12-track CD, but when you have a boxset, it's a pain in the arse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skubbs Posted December 23, 2009 Report Share Posted December 23, 2009 (many are work-related...)- the lazy fuckers I live with, is it really so difficult to hoover the hallway or clean a kitchen worktop after you've covered it in crumbs, gooey crap and olive oil?? - old ladies who argue with me when they receive their order at the coffee machine "that's nae a medium, that MUST be a large!" "sorry madam, that is the medium and I did go over your order before you paid..." "well I won't drink all of that, I want a refund"- when I'm cashing up and some cocky wanker goes "aye eh a coffee please" and we're closed. The simple fact that you've had to climb either over, under or move the barriers to get into the EMPTY seating area, with one person cleaning a machine and the till clearly says "Sorry, this till is now closed". They never take no for an answer, and seem to think that if it's take away that it makes a difference...- people who give me the competitors names for drink sizes when ordering, then look at me like I'm a retard when I ask them which size it is in the shop's variation. Fuck off to the other place then you wank.- when fat, middle aged and unfulfiled housewives moan at me when there's no sandwiches left at 8pm at night. Well fucknugget people tend to buy sandwiches at lunchtime... fuck off to boots and you'll see they're in the same position, DUH- chavs. I caught one pissing in a bus stop the other morning and I was gagging as I walked past him, fucking mink. I'll never sit on the seats in the shelters ever again now.- cheap fucks who think it's perfectly acceptable to sit down in the seating area at my work without buying anything. They seem to think the excuse "oh I'm just waiting for someone" is enough, one bitch sat down and put stamps on all of her christmas cards! Another decided to take up a whole sofa with her shopping bags then took out a book to read. It's not as if there aren't any other seating areas, so either stop being a cheap bastard and buy a drink, or piss off and sit elsewhere!!! Also, it always seems to be at the busiest times when real customers want a seat.- monobrows. They're just wrong, either pluck or wax the fucker, you're meant to have two eyebrows not one. I'm dying to get my boyfriend's brother in his sleep, just whack on a waxing strip and rip it right off. - people leaving their razor next to my toothbrush in the flat, IT'S RANK AND WRONG. Girls are horrendous to live with, I thought blokes would be minging but lassies are definitely dirty bitches.- 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waltz Posted December 23, 2009 Report Share Posted December 23, 2009 Michael fucking McIntyre.Try being funny, you cock. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soda Jerk Posted December 23, 2009 Report Share Posted December 23, 2009 When kitchen cupboards fall off the wall, and smash up your best jar of marmite, amongst a hundred or so other condiments. I hate it when that happens. Like today, when the kitchen cupboards fell off the wall and smashed up my best jar of marmite and a hundred or so other condiments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discotron Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 To clarify, pre-rant, I work on the bar in a restaurant.When you walk up to a big table with a tray of drinks, and rattle off the first drink, loudly, only to be faced with the following:Me: Hi, who's having the diet coke?Customer: Oh, that's Maureen's.Me (to self): Who the fuck is Maureen?At least give some pointy-gesture, or even better, make sure Maureen is paying attention when the fucking drinks arrive. Gaaaaaaaaaaaah. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murrr Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 (many are work-related...)- the lazy fuckers I live with, is it really so difficult to hoover the hallway or clean a kitchen worktop after you've covered it in crumbs, gooey crap and olive oil?? - old ladies who argue with me when they receive their order at the coffee machine "that's nae a medium, that MUST be a large!" "sorry madam, that is the medium and I did go over your order before you paid..." "well I won't drink all of that, I want a refund"- when I'm cashing up and some cocky wanker goes "aye eh a coffee please" and we're closed. The simple fact that you've had to climb either over, under or move the barriers to get into the EMPTY seating area, with one person cleaning a machine and the till clearly says "Sorry, this till is now closed". They never take no for an answer, and seem to think that if it's take away that it makes a difference...- people who give me the competitors names for drink sizes when ordering, then look at me like I'm a retard when I ask them which size it is in the shop's variation. Fuck off to the other place then you wank.- when fat, middle aged and unfulfiled housewives moan at me when there's no sandwiches left at 8pm at night. Well fucknugget people tend to buy sandwiches at lunchtime... fuck off to boots and you'll see they're in the same position, DUH- chavs. I caught one pissing in a bus stop the other morning and I was gagging as I walked past him, fucking mink. I'll never sit on the seats in the shelters ever again now.- cheap fucks who think it's perfectly acceptable to sit down in the seating area at my work without buying anything. They seem to think the excuse "oh I'm just waiting for someone" is enough, one bitch sat down and put stamps on all of her christmas cards! Another decided to take up a whole sofa with her shopping bags then took out a book to read. It's not as if there aren't any other seating areas, so either stop being a cheap bastard and buy a drink, or piss off and sit elsewhere!!! Also, it always seems to be at the busiest times when real customers want a seat.- monobrows. They're just wrong, either pluck or wax the fucker, you're meant to have two eyebrows not one. I'm dying to get my boyfriend's brother in his sleep, just whack on a waxing strip and rip it right off. - people leaving their razor next to my toothbrush in the flat, IT'S RANK AND WRONG. Girls are horrendous to live with, I thought blokes would be minging but lassies are definitely dirty bitches.-Your rant posts are fucking quality. Keep it up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delboy Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 after watching the grumpy guide to christmas, i agreed with everything on it. Ozzy Osbourne summed it up beautifully "I think christmas is the biggest load of bollocks ever!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berti Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 doors on chains.....motherfucker if i wanted to shut the door i would shut it, i like the decision to be mine. i dont like feeling like i have a time limit to run in the room and grab whatever shit it is i seek and get out before the door slams in my face. i caught myself shouting 'cunting door' the other day while slapping it like a vegetarian, not my proudest moment i have to confessi thought this issue would cease to exist outside of uni halls but it seems every fucker has got in on the act. anyone else get their tits well and truly bugged with this shit? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoid Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 i caught myself shouting 'cunting door' the other day while slapping it like a vegetarian, not my proudest moment i have to confessI did the most uncool snort laughing at that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 I hate every single one of my bastard neighbours!!I have to go pick up my turkey this morning but my car is stuck in the snow. Each and everyone of those fuckers were looking out of there windows watching me struggle and not one of them offered to help. One of them, a particularly disgusting piece of human excrement was even laughing at my predicament. Eventually, consumed by rage, I stormed inside while giving aforementioned piece of shit the finger.As Ebineezer Scrooge once said, "Fuck christmas!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoid Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 Eventually, consumed by rage, I stormed inside while giving aforementioned piece of shit the finger.He is going to shit through your letterbox... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkaline Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 He is going to shit through your letterbox...and probably push it through using some of his own ball grease... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucius Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 If they want a war, they will get one!! lolI have calmed down a bit now but I still hate them all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berti Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 yes i dare say your christmas present will be fecal matter on your doorhandle.although i was watching my neighbour earlier hoping he got stuck, he is a massive cockfondler though so i believe im well within my right..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 Those TV programmes counting down the 100 greatest. 100 greatest Xmas Comedy moments, 100 greatest TV adverts, 100 Greatest Dance Crazes etc. I swear these shows keep tens if not hundreds of vacuous Z List celebrity non-entities in work. I simply could not think of anything I care about less than what Michelle McManus thinks about that advert with all the colourful bouncy balls running down a hill. Except perhaps Shovells (M Peoples percussionist) views on the cultural influence that Ricky Gervais dance scene in The Office had on world comedy. I know, lets get everybody that we are interviewing to do an impression of that dance and then well segue one into the other and also show the clip from The Office. This will not only be hilarious but will also show that it is a recognisable cultural phenomenon. Kevin Day it went like that didnt it (holds arms up horizontally and swings both at the elbows) deh deh deh deh deh deh, deh deh deh deh deh deh Shovell - (holds arms up horizontally and swings both at the elbows) deh deh deh deh deh deh, deh deh deh deh deh dehMcManus - (holds arms up horizontally and swings both at the elbows) deh deh deh deh deh deh, deh deh deh deh deh dehThe cast of 2 pints of Lager - (holds arms up horizontally and swings both at the elbows) deh deh deh deh deh deh, deh deh deh deh deh dehHaha, PLEASE DIE! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoid Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 McManus - (holds arms up horizontally and swings both at the elbows) deh deh deh deh deh deh, deh deh deh deh deh dehSurely the wobbling of her bingo-wings would make a mesmerising spectacle though....? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaki Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 Surely the wobbling of her bingo-wings would make a mesmerising spectacle though....?I did crack one off but then felt really guilty at being turned on by such insipid TV. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berti Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 i actually heard one of the funniest put downs ever spoken about that whale.someone said she had lost x amount of weight and the retort was' yeah but in fairness, thats like throwing a deck chair off the titanic'it was years ago when she was at the peak of her sea dwelling creature weights but it still rings true today sir, yes it does.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paranoid Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 The dickless scum that broke into my Grandparents house on Christmas bastard Eve. God fucking help me if I ever find out who fucking did it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HateEvent Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 The dickless scum that broke into my Grandparents house on Christmas bastard Eve. God fucking help me if I ever find out who fucking did it...That's shit man Sorry to hear that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 24, 2009 Report Share Posted December 24, 2009 The dickless scum that broke into my Grandparents house on Christmas bastard Eve. God fucking help me if I ever find out who fucking did it...That's awful. Really sorry to hear that and I hope your grandparents are okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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