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Last film you watched?


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Get Him to the Greek

I had avoided this film because I didn't think 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' was that great (although on re-watching it seemed a bit better) and also I thought a whole film of Russell Brand would be beyond my endurance level but this is actually a very good and funny film. Jonah Hill is as usual pretty great.

8/10

End of the Century: The Story of The Ramones

Documentary charting the career of New York punk legends The Ramones. Great film, very interesting. Johnny Ramone must be one of the biggest twats ever to be in a band. Just comes across as a total emotion-free gimboid.

9/10

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Idiocracy – Mike Judge’s comedy about a ‘regular joe’ soldier who gets frozen for 500 years and wakes up to find the world has de-evolved into slobbering morons and he is the most intelligent human on the planet. I’ve been chuckling all day. (Merci to Pierre for recommending this many months back)

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Resident Evil: Afterlife. I don't really know what to say, so sorry if this analysis is a bit muddled. Maybe the worst film I've ever seen? It just had... nothing. First of all, the guy the plays Chris Redfield - one of my favourite computer game characters - was just awful. The whole character was just terrible. The least convincing badass of all time. Woeful. He just appears out of nowhere and it's like "Chris Redfield is in this film." His reunion with his sister is possibly the worst 40 seconds in cinema history.

Now, plot is something you don't expect to be particularly strong in this sort of film, but jesus... Basically, a couple of things happen, they are very loosely and vaguely connected by dialogue and then after about 80 minutes, it ends (and the end makes no sense). None of the characters made any sense whatsoever. I was just baffled...

Oh yeah, at the start the main character (Alice) is infiltrating an Umbrella facility, and then inexplicably there are numerous clone versions of her working as a team. I wasn't aware of any explanation of this, but it is never mentioned again in the film.

I don't know what else to say, it was all so bad; its hard to articulate. Its just one of those films that leaves you wondering "why did anyone bother making/being involved with this film?" Mila Jovanovic (or fitever she's ca'd) is a stone cold fox though; no doubting that.

Easy A. I'd estimate this as the 194th worst film ever...?

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Raging Bull

Compelling biopic about former world middleweight champ Jake LaMotta. Fabulous performances all round, especially from Robert DeNiro. After all the pish he's been involved in over that last 20 years, you could easily forget what a brilliant actor he was in his prime.

Twin Peaks : Fire Walk With Me

Prequel to the venerable TV classic (which I've just completed watching) and for fans of the series only. It's a bit of a shame that as a result of the movie's limited appeal, a quite terrific performance by Sheryl Lee as the ill-fated Laura Palmer went unnoticed. Watching it brought back some fond memories of the Twin Peaks theme night my office held when the movie was first shown in Aberdeen. We drew names out of a hat and I got Agent Cooper. I think within an hour of the evening starting, my colleagues were thoroughly scunnered with my "Daaaaamn, good..." prefix to everything....including returning from the Gents with a "DAMN good shite" :)

Uncle Buck

The late John Candy's finest moment. A funny as fuck movie that I'll never tire of watching.

Captain America : The First Avenger

Watched this with The Kid. Decent comic-book adaptation, with a refreshingly un-irritating Chris Evans in the lead. Some good imagery (grafting Evan's face onto a weedy teenagers body was really clever) and some surprisingly dodgy CGI in the running scenes.

A Sense of Freedom

A 1981 made-for-telly adaptation of the former Glasgow gangster Jimmy Boyle's book. Starts with Boyle already established as a feared money-lender and follows his experiences up until his transfer to Barlinnie's Special Unit. A hard-hitting drama, starring David Hayman, that's well worth viewing.

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Immortals

I love greek mythology and battle films so I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was funny seeing Apollo from Clash of the Titans upgraded to Zeus in this film, and Mickey Rourke is just fab. I was really shocked that some twat of a family decided to take a toddler into the film - it's a 15 and some pretty horrific stuff happens in it, that kid will never speak again.

...someone's nuts get crushed, someone gets set alight in the first five minutes, spears are impaled in people's heads with great detail, there's some sex, people roasted in a metal bull over a fire... basically shitloads of violence!

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Immortals

I love greek mythology and battle films so I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was funny seeing Apollo from Clash of the Titans upgraded to Zeus in this film, and Mickey Rourke is just fab. I was really shocked that some twat of a family decided to take a toddler into the film - it's a 15 and some pretty horrific stuff happens in it, that kid will never speak again.

...someone's nuts get crushed, someone gets set alight in the first five minutes, spears are impaled in people's heads with great detail, there's some sex, people roasted in a metal bull over a fire... basically shitloads of violence!

Now now, you forgot to mention the thighs.

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Stake Land

I watched this excellent road/vampire/post-apocalyptic movie last night - synopsis courtesy of Wikipedia.

The United States is a lost nation. When an epidemic of vampirism strikes, humans find themselves on the run from vicious, feral beasts. Cities are tombs and survivors cling together in rural pockets, fearing nightfall. When his family is slaughtered, young Martin (Connor Paolo) is taken under the wing of a grizzled, wayward hunter (Nick Damici), whose new prey are the undead.

8/10

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Attack the Block

London 'yoofs' get caught up in an alien invasion in Sarf Lahndan and try to escape/kill aliens/engage in 'yoof' speak. Nick Frost is in it as a drug dealer but isn't in it that much. OK but not as wonderful as I had been led to believe.

7/10

Horrible Bosses

3 mates each have a boss who is giving them jip in their own way so they conspire to bump them off. Contrary to tabloid reports, Jennifer Aniston does not get her boobies in this film out but does prance about in black undies and wear a lab coat with nothing underneath so you ALMOST see her boobies, and she has lots of dirty lines that make you think 'Friends' would have been even even ace-ic-er if Rachel had talked like that. Pretty funny film actually, would watch again.

9/10

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The Devil's Double

Dominick Cooper stars as both Uday Saddam Hussein and Latif Yahia the man coerced into being his "fiday" (body double), in a movie adaptation of the latter's book of the same name. Although Yahia's account has been called into question, there's absolutely no doubt whatsoever that Uday Hussein, was a completely out-of-control, evil and sadistic hedonist, who traded on his father's power and influence. Pretty horrifying stuff, with excellent central performances by Cooper in the dual role. 8/10

Goal! 1,2 & 3

A perfect example of the Law of Diminishing Returns. This first movie is an enjoyable feel-good tale of a gifted young footballer from the LA barrios who gets the chance to make the big time with Newcastle United. The movie benefits from a likeable lead, the use of real-life NUFC players and a decent supporting cast. 7.5/10

The second instalment is more of the same, with our hero, Santiago Munez, moving to Real Madrid and struggling to cope with the all trappings of fame. 6/10

The final instalment?...well, benched are : Alessandro Nivola, Miriam Colon, Sean Pertwee, Anna Friel and Rutger Hauer and in come Tamar Hassan, Nick Moran and that spivvy wee guy who played "Bovver" in Green Street. The main character from the first two films , Santiago, is reduced to a few minor appearances as the story centres around two of his mates who've just made the 2006 England World Cup squad. Wee Bovver, despite having smoked twice his own body weight in fags in any movie I've seen him in and with a decidedly un-athletic pallor and physique, is cast as a Real Madrid and England forward. Oh the realism. 2/10

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