Last film you watched?

[Diesel]

28 Weeks Later

Not as good as 28 Days Later. I wanted the kid to get eaten.

Submarine

Hugely enjoyable film, although not as light a comedy as I thought it was going to be. Lots of great moments in it and a brilliant performance from the guy that played Oliver and the other leads. Only sour note was Paddy Considine's character. Too over the top even for a characature of the era.

Agree on both movies

The Rum Diary

Enjoyable movie, based on the Hunter S. Thomson novel starring Johnny Depp, Aaron Eckhart, Giovanni Ribisi, Jackie Aprile out of the Sopranos and Nathaniel Fisher Snr from Six Feet Under (can't be hooped looking up their real names). Depp plays a struggling writer who takes a job in Puerto Rico and finds himself at odds with the American corporate types who are trying to bleed the country dry. The mvoie, set in 1960, has great performances and some real laugh out loud moments. 7.5/10

Warrior

A bit of an oddball movie this one. Gritty and believable performaces from Tom Hardy, Joel Edgerton and Nick Nolte set against a slightly silly and pretty far-fetched MMA tournament background. Kind of Rocky meets Bloodsport meets kitchen sink drama. Hardy is superb and Edgerton is a real find. 7/10

[Flights]

Fuck i just read a short write up of this and now i need to read this book. every since i read 1984 and A Clockwork Orange i've just been drawn to dystopian fiction. Something about a sad, oppressive future just gets me.

Read A Scanner Darkly. You can even borrow my copy

[kirsten]

The Muppets

Ace. I've not had such a delightful cinematic experience in a long time. I nearly cried at several scenes. It could have done with being around three hours longer though.

My mother and I are trying to see how many Clive Owen films we can watch this year, so...

Croupier

This used to be on FilmFour all the time and I'd always catch bits of it but hadn't seen it all the way through before. It was good, quite film noir, which is always nice.

I'll Sleep When I'm Dead

I was looking forward to this as it had numerous scathing reviews on Amazon, but it wasn't as bad as I expected. You're left with a few plot-holes, but other than that, it wasn't the cockney gangster cringe-fest I imagined at all.

Close My Eyes

Clive Owen AND Alan Rickman?! How can you lose?! Well... it's simple, just add horribly pretentious dialogue, a terrible soundtrack, a lack of plot and you have this awful film. Clive Owen's arse appears onscreen more than Clive Owen does. I thought it'd be uncomfortable watching a film about an incestuous affair with my mother, but it was so hilariously bad that we were both quite happy to sit slagging it off together. It was quite nicely shot, though, I'll give it that.

[Jaaakkkeee]

Lady and the Tramp

I love disney films. And I think I can only remember certain parts of this movie. I only remembered the Siamese cats (which I actually thought was from Aristocats) and the spaghetti scene. It's a wonderful film. And I laughed at how racist the Siamese cats were. Slanted eyes and bucked teeth? I was in shock. And the accents. But you know what, I let them away with the stereotypical scotty dog, so, fuck it, I didn't care. It was a good film. And I kept going "awww" when cute things with puppies happened.

*****

2012

I tried to watch this a while back but it was late and we got bored. Watched this last night instead of going to Cinema. It was good. Some parts were horribly cheesy, but it was a good disaster movie and John Cusack was pretty damn good in it.

7/10

[Chris]

Watchmen

Taped this off the telly a while ago and just got round to watching it. It's decent enough but there's only 2 good characters in it (Rorscharch, comedien) and a fit bird. The rest of them are pretty terrible. Bad acting and awful costume design. I haven't read the original comic so I dunno how well it followed it. Filled a couple of hours though.

They missed a trick by killing of Rorscharch as well. Would be good to see a film just centred on that character without all the rubbish ones surrounding him. Though maybe they could revisit it and do a prequel when he was the only one still working. That could be good.

[Chris]

Red State

So nearly Kevin Smith's best film. It's certainly one of his more interesting ones. Instead because he can't fucking help himself and show a bit of restraint the whole thing is hamstrung by by his attitude towards authority.

I can't help but think that if he'd written the ATF agents just a little bit straighter, a wee bit more logical, it would have lifted the film away from mediocrity. There's no reason why Goodman's character would have gone along with the order (that would surely never have been given) as long as he does.

As it is the jolting perspective jumps from teenagers to preachers to ATF agents is a great device. It's really a film in 3 parts and if he could have just reigned himself in a bit it would have been a chilling satire on a certain segment of American society that is hugely deserving of a little more critical attention and a hollywood rebuke. Instead we get 2 parts horror thriller about a cult-like church sect and 1 part ridiculously over the top comedy, action film about out of control federal agents.

It's more annoying for being so close to a great film. Unfortunately it's the same way I've felt about a lot of Smith films over the years but it's easier to forgive a slaptstick comedy for being patchy.

On the plus side John Goodman is superb in it.

[Diesel]

J Edgar

A Clint Eastwood-directed biopic about the legendary FBI chief. Rather dull and seems to play to the urban legends about the man (gay, wore his mum's clothing etc.). I didn't feel that I learned much more about the man than I would have in Wikipedia. Well acted, good sense of the periods it portrays, but dreary and uninvolving. 6/10

The Help

A rather redundant movie about the lives of several black woman working as housekeepers for spoiled and rich white families in Mississippi in the early 1960's. Like J Edgar, beautifully filmed and well acted, but it's all been done before. Needless to say, my partner loved it. 6.5/10

I'm currently watching In Time with Justin Timberland/Wolf/Lake. Set in a future where all humans peak at age 25, the currency is time and everyone on the planet has a green 13-digit countdown clock on their inner forearm. When it's reaches thirteen zeros, it tatties for you! Time is exchanged for goods and services and you can transfer time to other people directly or even steal it whilst they're sleeping. Price-wise, it's 4 mins for a coffee and 2 hours for a bus home. An E-Type Jag will set you back 58 years. Prices vary in different time zones all of which makes for a totally unsubtle parable. Enjoyable thus far, rating later.

[Flights]

I just sat and watched Howls Moving Castle on the T.V's at work. Didn't get to see it all but it's banging.

[Soda Jerk]

Film on TV late last night called Hard Candy. A genuinely harrowing film experience. Quite disturbing actually. I wouldn't watch it again.

The plot, spoilered, if you ever plan on watching it. I'm not sure you should. Gruelling film.

It's about some teenage girl (Ellen fucking Page of all people) and an older guy meeting up via the internet. Throughout the film, it is assumed he is a paedophilic sexual predator, but it is never confirmed. They go back to his flat, she makes them drinks and insists he takes photographs of her. She has spiked his drink, and when he wakes up, he is bound to a chair. The girl insists he should be castrated for being a paedophile, or at least she insists he is, which he denies, and constantly claims to have innocent intentions. He tries to escape, but in a typical clumsy horror/thriller fashion, he is useless and gets taken down again by the girl with a roll of cling film around his face. He wakes up again and he is tied to a table, with the genitalia in the process of being completely numbed with ice and anaesthetic. There is a a prolonged and gut-wrenching build up to a castration procedure. Once she's done, she leaves to clean up and shower. The guy wriggles free (obviously) and realises the surgery was faked. He goes to attack her in the shower, but she shower is empty, she's behind the door with a fucking taser, and tasers the fuck out of him. Pretty graphic. He wakes up AGAIN and he's set up in a suicide position, with a noose around his neck, and a chair beneath him. The girl has written a forged suicide note on his computer, and tells him he should sacrifice his life and she will make it look like suicide, otherwise she'll kill him and expose his apparent secrets. Obviously he wriggles free and chases her onto the roof of the building. By this time, he finds out his girlfriend is on her way, and the girl has all this evidence to hold against him, but she'll wipe it clean if he agrees to put his head in the noose which she attached to the chimney, and jump off the building, otherwise she'll shoot him (oh yeah, she has a gun now it seems). He eventually agrees to kill himself to die innocently, though it's never confirmed what evidence she has, if any, that he is a paedophile. Ellen Page is stone cold and practically emotionless throughout, which really makes it even more harrowing that she could psychologically blackmail a man to kill himself. It's a strange film, because despite the accusations and clues that the guy may be a paedophile, I found myself siding with the guy begging for mercy and accepting that he needs to seek help for his psychological problems, and the girl, who is apparently seeking brutal justice against the suspected paedophile, comes across as a cold hearted killer. It was pure torture to watch. I'm not sure I would recommend it, though whilst I found it quite horrifying, I couldn't stop watching it.

[Jaaakkkeee]

Film on TV late last night called Hard Candy. A genuinely harrowing film experience. Quite disturbing actually. I wouldn't watch it again.

The plot, spoilered, if you ever plan on watching it. I'm not sure you should. Gruelling film.

It's about some teenage girl (Ellen fucking Page of all people) and an older guy meeting up via the internet. Throughout the film, it is assumed he is a paedophilic sexual predator, but it is never confirmed. They go back to his flat, she makes them drinks and insists he takes photographs of her. She has spiked his drink, and when he wakes up, he is bound to a chair. The girl insists he should be castrated for being a paedophile, or at least she insists he is, which he denies, and constantly claims to have innocent intentions. He tries to escape, but in a typical clumsy horror/thriller fashion, he is useless and gets taken down again by the girl with a roll of cling film around his face. He wakes up again and he is tied to a table, with the genitalia in the process of being completely numbed with ice and anaesthetic. There is a a prolonged and gut-wrenching build up to a castration procedure. Once she's done, she leaves to clean up and shower. The guy wriggles free (obviously) and realises the surgery was faked. He goes to attack her in the shower, but she shower is empty, she's behind the door with a fucking taser, and tasers the fuck out of him. Pretty graphic. He wakes up AGAIN and he's set up in a suicide position, with a noose around his neck, and a chair beneath him. The girl has written a forged suicide note on his computer, and tells him he should sacrifice his life and she will make it look like suicide, otherwise she'll kill him and expose his apparent secrets. Obviously he wriggles free and chases her onto the roof of the building. By this time, he finds out his girlfriend is on her way, and the girl has all this evidence to hold against him, but she'll wipe it clean if he agrees to put his head in the noose which she attached to the chimney, and jump off the building, otherwise she'll shoot him (oh yeah, she has a gun now it seems). He eventually agrees to kill himself to die innocently, though it's never confirmed what evidence she has, if any, that he is a paedophile. Ellen Page is stone cold and practically emotionless throughout, which really makes it even more harrowing that she could psychologically blackmail a man to kill himself. It's a strange film, because despite the accusations and clues that the guy may be a paedophile, I found myself siding with the guy begging for mercy and accepting that he needs to seek help for his psychological problems, and the girl, who is apparently seeking brutal justice against the suspected paedophile, comes across as a cold hearted killer. It was pure torture to watch. I'm not sure I would recommend it, though whilst I found it quite horrifying, I couldn't stop watching it.

I watched this a while back, and loved it because it was so harrowing, would definitely recommend.

[Chris]

The Muppets

Almost pure joy on the screen. Great fun with few mis-steps. I almost don't want the announced sequel to happen because it can't be as good as this was.

[Soda Jerk]

I watched this a while back, and loved it because it was so harrowing, would definitely recommend.

I think the fact that I had to keep watching it to find out what happens means it was probably a good film (though the constant wriggling free and getting pwned by a girl was frustrating), but it was truly gut-wrenching. I can't stand Ellen Page, but she played the part of a completely vapid and cold psychopath well. I couldn't sleep after I watched it. I was scared Ellen Page was going to break into my house and hack my junk off.

[delboy]

Horrible Bosses - fantastic and stupid fun and Jennifer Aniston proves she is still a babe in her 40's!

[Monster Zero]

'Hard Candy' is awesome. I like Ellen Page. I'm the anti-Soda Jerk on this one.

[TR!ΔNGL€ T€€TH]

The missus and I watched The Fighter last night, and it pretty damn excellent. Probably the best performance I've seen out of Christian Bale, and for a change, I didn't hate Marky Mark's character. 9/10.

[Monster Zero]

Red White and Blue

A bird called Erica hangs round bars in Austin and sleeps with random men. She is pretty adamant about only sleeping with a bloke once and not wearing a condom. Which seems odd. Nate is a strange guy who moves into her housing block and tries to befriend her without seeming to be interested in wanting sex. He also claims to be an Iraq-war veteran who was honourably discharged and has been offered a job by the CIA but is working in a hardware store so it's not clear what the truth is. She is pretty horrible to him to start with but becomes more friendly when he gets her a job at the store. One of Erica's past encounters with a wannabe musician and his friends throws up a new twist in the story that ends up with Nate seeking revenge on the group. Decent film, pretty slow moving to start but gets going a bit more about half way through. If you liked 'Dead Man's Shoes' you might enjoy this. Noah Taylor is awesome as Nate.

9/10

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil

Tucker and Dale are 2 good natured rednecks heading for a break in the dilapidated cabin they have bought in the woods. A group of college kids camp out nearby and through and through a series of misunderstandings believe Tucker and Dale are psychos killing off the group, while Tucker and Dale try and fail to make them see they are innocent. Pretty good film, some decent laughs.

9/10

Take Me Home Tonight

I'd never heard of this but it was going for a couple of quid ex-rental in the local video shop and seemed semi-interesting so I gave it a whirl. It's a pretty standard romantic-ish comedy story, Topher Grace from 'That 70's Show' is a college drop-out working in a video shop who meets up with his high school crush, who doesn't remember him but who he tells he is an investment banker to seem more impressive. He attends a party he knows she is going to, they hit it off, she discovers he lied, etc. Anna Faris plays his sister who is going out with the jock-meathead character and Dan Fogler is his fat mate who gets sacked from his job and has an encounter with an older model type in a bathroom who insists on her husband watching. As mentioned, not particularly original in story-line but actually a decent watch, lots of funny moments and the cast are likeable.

7/10

It Might Get Loud

Documentary film which has Jimmy Page, The Edge and Jack White get together in a room to discuss music, guitars and jam, interspersed with footage of each revisiting their past musical history. I'd been wanting to see this anyway, saw the trailer on another DVD, which reminded me about it, and then saw the Bluray for £5 in Asda the next day. Pretty good film, although I imagine you need to have some interest in the participants. Has a good bit with Jack White nailing some wood, a guitar string and a pick-up to a porch to make a slide guitar.

8/10

The Change-Up

Jason Bateman is a top lawyer with a wife and kids, Ryan Reynolds is his slacker mate with no ties at all. One night on the bevvy they piss in a fountain and wish they had each others lives. When they wake up the next day they are inhabiting each others bodies. Cue Bateman struggling with whether to cheat on his wife with Reynold's booty calls and Reynolds trying to decide whether to shag Bateman's hot wife. Along the way they realise that life isn't always better on the other side, etc. Pretty predictable I suppose but enough laughs to make it worthwhile and the actors are all likeable. Doesn't hold back on the political-correctness front at times, me and the missus had a few moments looking at each other saying 'did they really just go there?'

8/10

Tyrannosaur

Peter Mullen is Joseph, one of those blokes you just don't want to tangle with in the pub - he has a propensity for sudden outbursts of rage and the first scene is of him kicking his dog to death after someone has annoyed him in a bookies. You also see him erupt in a pub after shouting at some youths to quiet down and one of them gets in his face (bad move). At one point later on he bursts into a charity shop and hides in the clothing rails to try and get his anger under control. Olivia Colman is the Christian charity shop worker who offers to pray for him. They strike up a bit of an uneasy friendship and her own abusive relationship with her husband comes to light. I thought I had this plot lined up in my head but it didn't take the obvious route and there is a pretty surprising twist at the end. Mullen is amazing in this, Colman is also great, as is Eddie Marsan as her creepy husband. Great film, but not one to watch if you are looking for a nice light-hearted evening.

10/10

[Guest Bob Knob]

The last film I watched was Drive. It was good!

Awesome film. Way more violent than the beginning would have you believe. Awesome soundtrack too.

[Stroopy121]

Win Win

A lawyer takes on the responsibility of legal guardian for one of his very wealthy clients who is in early-stage dementia. Slow-paced in sections but overall an excellent watch. 8/10

xx

[Diesel]

War Horse

A right good old-fashioned ripping yarn. It's about a horse. And a war. Great Sunday afternoon viewing from the always-reliable Spielberg and Joey the Horse is pretty amazing. 8/10

[Johnny Mac]

Safehouse

Ryan Reynolds has to look after big Denzel, who is the kinda not really baddie. Quite enjoyed this film, fast paced and loads of action. Very similar to the Bourne films in places which is no bad thing. Slightly spoiled by the fact I picked out the 'baddie' 10 minutes into the film (typecast).

7/10

[paime]

Friends with Benefits

The bird forced this one on me. It's a standard rom-com but seeing Mila Kunis in a variety of sexy poses and speaking dirty makes up for it. Plenty of scenes for the spank bank.

[Stroopy121]

Not sure if I reviewed Bananas when I watched it a few days ago.

Woody Allen's (IMHO) best movie. No, infact, the best one that he acts in. A lot of his new stuff is fantastic where he just directs and makes the films more 3-dimensional rather than being an elaborate stand-up show. I fucking love this film, but the wife coudn't stand it, which I get. It's not for everyone but if you want to get in to Woody Allen's older work it's a great starting point.

9/10

xx

[Diesel]

Not sure if I reviewed Bananas when I watched it a few days ago.

Woody Allen's (IMHO) best movie. No, infact, the best one that he acts in. A lot of his new stuff is fantastic where he just directs and makes the films more 3-dimensional rather than being an elaborate stand-up show. I fucking love this film, but the wife coudn't stand it, which I get. It's not for everyone but if you want to get in to Woody Allen's older work it's a great starting point.

9/10

xx

Is that the one where Sylvester Stallone makes a cameo appearance?

[Stroopy121]

I fucking knew that was him!!

Yes, that one!

xx

[girl anachronism]

Last night, I attended a "terrible film party" and witnessed:

Sand Sharks

Well. Where to start really. This is a film about some container rupturing out at sea, releasing some prehistoric sharks capable of swimming through sand. These sharks subsequently wreak havoc on the town of White Sands (with an apparent population of 15 people, although I expect the film wanted us to believe this figure was a lot higher, given that the island had its own police force, mayor and, of course, marine biology lab).

Imagine Tyler Durden having spent half his life on a sun bed to the point that he looks like a purse, and you have our dreamboat main protagonist, Jimmy Green.

A bit of a LAD who wishes to pioneer a music festival on the beach; the aptly named Sandman Festival. Against all the recommendations of the police and marine biologist with incredibly lax observational skills for such a profession (Hulk Hogan's daughter, the resemblance is pretty clear),

the festival does go ahead with disastrous results, and it's up to our hero Jimmy with his napalm, and the local mental with a flamethrower to hatch a crackpot plan to save the day.

The plan being to use the napalm to melt the sand, creating liquid glass which would then solidify, entrapping the sharks in a glass cage. Foolproof.

Utter trash. 1/10...but only because of:

1. The immortal lines: "Sandpocalypse now", "I need a marine biologist", "the proof is in the biology" and "take that, you sand of a bitch".

2. The festival scenes which were just gloriously out of proportion. The "main stage" was a tiny shack, on which a single DJ played the most monotonous sounding tune for a large proportion of the film whilst the "thousands of college students" that descended on the beach danced in an incredibly organised and choreographed fashion. I expect what they did here, was take an aerial film of a step aerobics class with around 15 people and then photoshop in the sand. They probably couldn't convince enough extras to take part in something THIS bad.

3. The utter chaos that ensued when the festival goers were instructed to "GET OFF THE BEACH!!!12" I can only assume that they were all blind.

4. The touching scene between our man Jimmy and the female cop who'd been bitten in half, in which he attempts to keep her alive by rearranging her entrails, before realising the futility of his efforts. He then gets into the car in which she was propped against and drives off, prompting her severed upper half to slump and squelch to the ground. Poetic.

5. The mayor sealing his own fate with the line "I'm drawing a line in the sand".

6. The hefty campaign by the local police to keep people off the beaches which consisted of one puny sign.

7. The gargantuan twist at the end where mother shark emerges from THE FREAKING MOUNTAINS to exact her revenge.

I also watched Troll 2, but I'm still not sure exactly what it was that I've just been exposed to. I need a little more time to digest that before I can possibly begin to piece together some sort of review.

In the meantime, enjoy the trailer to the next film on my list, Birdemic: