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Last film you watched?


Lemonade

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Bruce Lee would fuck every single one of those chumps up without breaking sweat.

He can't break sweat because he is dead. This also means he wouldn't be able to fuck anyone up.

Seagal patrols the streets nowadays dishing out justice to hardened criminals. What's Bruce Lee doing?

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He can't break sweat because he is dead. This also means he wouldn't be able to fuck anyone up.

Seagal patrols the streets nowadays dishing out justice to hardened criminals. What's Bruce Lee doing?

Well killing puppies in the making of his reality programme anyway: http://tv.yahoo.com/news/steven-seagal-threatened-lawsuit-over-police-raid-taped-192501428.html.

Tony Jaa would lay out that blues-playing dyed hair muppet with his feet on fire.

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In the lead up to going to see Avengers in the cinema, I've been trying to watch all the films about the characters before hand.

Captain America - watched this last night. Was really good. Never been a fan of Chris Evans. But since he's Captain America I can only hope that Fantastic 4 get's redone and we have some sort of Civil War movie. Anyway, this is my favourite of the Avengers "prequels". It's just really well made and the cgi when he's a little runt is fantastic.

Iron Man 2 - This was brilliant too. Watched it right after CA. Nodded off near the end but not for too long. I love Robert Downey Jr. And it's strange seeing him as useless, and not useless-but-actually-a-genius like in Sherlock Holmes. I think knowing about Avengers before watching this made the Samuel L. Jackson cameos in these movies so much better.

So I've watched Thor, Iron Man 1 & 2, Captain America... What else is there to see before I go to Avengers? I noticed Fury on Sky Anytime. I'll watch that.

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Is there a Hulk with the boy out of Avengers? I thought the last one made was the Edward Norton in it. If Sammy Jackson doesn't turn up at the end with an eyepatch it can't be an avengers prequellllll.

He doesn't, but Robert Downey Jr does as Tony Stark, so it's definitely part of the.... ya know.... word that I can't think of.

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I've mainly been watching documentaries recently. Also, the Avengers film, but all I can say about it is: yaaaaaas!

Project Nim

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I'm sure I saw a trailer for this before it came out that showed it to be an adorable film about people trying to teach a rescued orphan monkey sign language. Oh, Kirsten, how naive... I must have made this memory up, though, because this is horrible. Warning bells should have been going off when it explains that the monkey's mother was shot with a tranquilizer and the baby monkey, Nim, taken from her.

For the first part of the film, he lives with a woman called Stephanie, her husband and three kids. Stephanie raises Nim as she would a human baby, even breastfeeding him. Bit weird. Later, Nim hits what Stephanie refers to as his '13 year old boy' phase, where he becomes totally obsessed with her body. There's a particularly uncomfortable scene on a beach where Nim is clambering all over her, grabbing her and she just lets him and is fascinated by his masturbation habits. Nope, nothing strange there. Anyway, the film gets progressively more disturbing and the majority of people involved appear to be totally batshit crazy, bitter and jealous of one another. Some of them are really petty. There is a good guy called Bob, though. He treated Nim like his best friend. Admittedly, he did frequently get him stoned, but hey, it was the 70s.

4/10

Jandek on Corwood

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This started off slowly, got slightly intriguing about half an hour in, then got boring. I'd never heard of Jandek before, but I've been watching a lot of music docs recently and someone suggested this. Jandek is essentially the name given to this anonymous folk/blues musician based in Texas who has released over sixty albums in the last thirty years or so and whose first known gig was in 2004 (in Glasgow, weirdly). The film itself is visually pretty dull. It is a simple collection of interviews with Jandek devotees, critics, journalists and people who have been in touch with him or met him in the past and clips of some of his music over bland general views.

I think you need to be more interested in Jandek than I was to appreciate it, and also have a higher tolerance for elitist, superior hipster-ish journalists who appear in it. Also, it had Byron Coley as a talking head and I really hate Byron Coley.

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Look at him, with his stupid fucking soulpatch. Sort your life out, Coley.

5/10 (for effort)

The Leader, His Driver and the Driver's Wife//His Big White Self

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Two documentaries by Nick Broomfield: ‘The Leader, His Driver and the Driver’s Wife’ and ‘His Big White Self’. The former is from 1991 when Broomfield went to South Africa to try and score an interview with the leader of the white supremacists AWB, Eugene Terre’Blanche. He gets fobbed off and has the interview postponed on several occasions, so ends up spending most of his time with the leader’s driver, J.P Meyer and his wife Anita. He does eventually get to spend some time with Terre’Blanche, who doesn’t seem to think much of Broomfield and gives a really bewildering interview.

‘His Big White Self’ is the follow-up to it from 2006. Broomfield returns to South Africa as the leader has been released from prison. Once more, he hopes to speak to him, but again spends most of his time with J.P. There is some pretty horrific archive footage, which makes it difficult to believe that both of these films are anything but harrowing. They are, however, very funny in parts. The leader is portrayed (I’m not going out on a limb here by saying ‘accurately’) as an intensely unreasonable and ridiculous character, which is rewarding as it allows you to laugh at evil. As they left on bad terms in 1991, Broomfield attempts to interview Terre’Blanche in disguise. It’s worth watching for this bit alone.

Both 9/10, because what ever gets 10/10? (except Gremlins)

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