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Ali had R Kelly - when you've got that you need nothing else!

Bagger Vance needed a rap!

Seven Pounds needed a rap.

I actually watched Seven Pounds last night. It's aright, Will Smith being a nice guy and all that jazz.

It had nothing on the film I watched after my girlfriend went home though.

Sniper: Reloaded

Carrying on from the legendary Sniper films starring Tom Berenger, this bad boy is set in the congo. Chad Michael Collins stars as Brandon Beckett, son of Thomas Beckett. He's a marine who has been sent to the Congo from Afghanistan to deal with a flashpoint. When his squad are wiped out by a sniper Brandon swears revenge. It has the plot, dialogue and acting of a film from the 80's which is a good thing in my eyes. Billy Zane makes an appearance reviving his role as Richard Miller, he's easily the best actor here which is saying something.

Highlights include;

  • The old bloke sniping the fuck out of some rebels
  • The 60 second sex scene
  • The evil sniper Marcello
  • Billy Zane admitting he loves pissing himself
  • Billy Zane shooting a lad through a wall with a Barrett 50 cal and tearing him in half.
  • Billy Zane

Four bullets out of 5

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Conan The Barbarian (2011 Remake): Jesus christ, what an abysmal, utterly ridiculous and ultimately pointless remake. All style and very little substance. The acting and dialogue were absolutey terrible. 1/10

King Arthur: Clive Owen and Keira Knightley in a slight twist on the Arthurian legends. I remember going to see this film at the cinema (probably because Keira Knightley is hot) and whilst hardly amazing i remembered it being enjoyable/watchable at least. I must've been on something that day because it was ultimately a sack of shrivelled bollocks on a second watch. Shite 2/10

Hollywoodland: After the previous two film watches i needed something to grasp hold of to assure me that there are still some decent films out there and Hollywoodland didn't disappoint. Based on the suicide of George Reeves (TV Superman) and the conspiricy theories that spawned from it, Hollwoodland has a slick brutality and sadness running subtley underneath its main plot with strong acting from Ben Affleck (as Reeves through flashbacks) and Adrian Brody as the PI hired by Reeves mother to investigate some irregularities in the case. The Film Noir stylings and music add to the dramatic pace of the film and whilst not ground breaking help to highlight the bleaker aspects of stardom and how it affected Reeves. Really enjoyable watch, i would recommend to anyone interested in (Neo) Film Noir. 8/10

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Fast and Furious films have their place, good old thoughtless 90 minutes of terrible dialogue and action scenes. They're no Die Hards, but they are still good fun when you have nothing better to watch. New one on the way as well!

number 5 is the best just for the rock coming and laying the smack down.

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Transformers: Dark of the Moon

I don't really advise that anyone watches this. I think it's at this point I've finally realised I don't want to see any more Transformers films.

I watched this the other night. The english bird ruined it. Apart from that, and the plotholes, it was nae bad. Better than the 2nd.

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Transformers: Dark of the Moon

I don't really advise that anyone watches this. I think it's at this point I've finally realised I don't want to see any more Transformers films.

My 8 year old cousin, wise beyond his years said 'I don't want to watch Transformers, it's supposed to be a cartoon.'

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Milner, like music, your views on film just seem to be gibberish!

I enjoyed 3 more than 2. But it's like

I do like bad films, and bad tv. It's like a nic cage film >>>>>> Transformers 1 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> transformers 3 >>> transformers 2 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> tokyo drift.

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Transformers tries to hard to be a good film, Michael Bay is just a cock gobbler milking the franchise. Its a shame i love the Transformers and he could have made a brilliant film out of the story, but its just lots of amazing special effects, and Shia LeBoufe being the same character he plays in every single film, its the second one that has those two black speaking transformers isnt it? Worst characters in any film ever.

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Are you saying every Nicholas Cage film is better than Tokyo Drift? I'm a fan of Gone in Sixty Seconds but the Cagester has put out some god awful movies!

For example.


I won't even bother commenting..


Ironically, this is how I felt whilst watching the wicker man.


Sadly void of dancing brooms.



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