Jump to content
aberdeen-music

Last film you watched?


Lemonade

Recommended Posts

Horrible Bosses

Excellent comedy. Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Spacey and Colin Farrel are all brilliant as the ridiculously over the top shit bosses. Enjoyed Jamie Foxx's performance as well.

We watched this the other night. I carry an EpiPen with me, so the "stabbing" scene was particularly funny for me. Jennifer Aniston has some brilliant lines.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Bob Knob
Last night I watched Drive.

Ryan Gosling stars as a stunt driver/ getaway driver/ violent muthafucka'.

The soundtrack is awesome as is the action. Lots of fichtin' and fast driving.

9/10

That elevator scene...

fuck-that-bitch-scared-yao.svg

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Kill The Irishman

Based-on-fact gangster drama about Danny Greene, who took on the Cleveland Mafia in the 70's. Starts off slowly, but develops into a pretty good fillum. I hadn't heard of the lead, Ray Stevenson (a Colin Firth looky-likey) before, but he does a good job as the enigmatic Greene. There's a decent supporting cast, including ole' Private Pyle himself - Vincent D'Onofrio, Christopher Walken, Vinnie Jones, Steve Schirippa (Soprano's Bobby Baccala) and any number of recognisable gangster movie regulars. 7.5/10

The Cabin In The Woods

Where do I begin with THIS stoor o' pish? Starts out shite, gets a LOT worse before a brilliant ending. 3/10 for the first 75% and 10/10 for the last quarter.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jackboots on Whitehall

Puppets, Nazi's, slightly political incorrect and a fuck load of explosions. All round good film. Probably higher than Team America in the comedy puppet chart. Highlights include the Punjabi Guard, the Frenchman who shags everything and the foul mouthed vicar. 4 swastikas out of 5

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Expendables 2.

Number of faded '80's action heroes: 6.

Number of guys who really shouldn't ever play a semi-lead role in a major film: 2.

Number of explosions: 6,467.

Number of bullets: unquantifiable.

Number of ridiculous one-liners: 86.

Number of fucks given: 0.

Best film ever.

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

TEETH

A young spokesperson for the Opal ring brigade discovers she has teeth in her vagina after she 'bites' off this fella's boaby as he sexually assualts her. Sets the tone really. Overall it's a pretty 'gash' film. The acting is about as believable as a tooth filled punani and the dismembered cock scenes looked like something out of the old Goosebumps t.v show that was on the BBC.

teeth.jpg

The highlight of the film involves incest, boaby chopping and a big hungry dog.

Oh and yes she fucks that old guy in the picture.

2 dismembered stroops out of 5

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Batman: The Dark Knight Rises

Pretty fucking awesome. At times it got a little bit too over the top and the big bad was too big and ridiculous. That little grip aside though it hardly put a step wrong. Fitting end to the trilogy and the only downside is it's probably going to be all too soon that it ends up being rebooted.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

TEETH

A young spokesperson for the Opal ring brigade discovers she has teeth in her vagina after she 'bites' off this fella's boaby as he sexually assualts her. Sets the tone really. Overall it's a pretty 'gash' film. The acting is about as believable as a tooth filled punani and the dismembered cock scenes looked like something out of the old Goosebumps t.v show that was on the BBC.

The highlight of the film involves incest, boaby chopping and a big hungry dog.

Oh and yes she fucks that old guy in the picture.

2 dismembered stroops out of 5

You want to see a good dismembered cock scene, watch Piranha. As dismembered cock scenes go, I'd say it sets the bar.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A Lonely Place To Die

Thriller set in the highlands of Scotland. Not bad really. A bunch of climbers stumble across a small girl buried alive and ruin some professional kidnappers best laid plans. A frantic pursuit through the mountains begins.

It's a small budget film from (I think) a first time director. It suffers from the usual problems such films tend to have - slightly dodgy acting and a failure to resist the temptation to up the bodycount. They've bought loads of bloodpacks and squibs so damn it they're going to use them! Aside from that the director shows a great sense of timing which keeps the suspense and sense of danger going and you genuinely don't know who's going to walk out alive at the end (aside from Melissa George obviously as she's the only person anyone's heard of in it). Gets a little bit preposterous towards the end but overall it was an enjoyable watch.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As a change of pace, we added a a few rom/rom-coms to the watch list at the weekend.

The Notebook

Romance, about a elderly gent (James Garner) in an old folks home in the present day, who reads a story from a notebook to a fellow patient (Gena Rowlands) who suffers from alzheimer's.

The story, set in the 1940's, tells of the difficult relationship between a rich girl (Rachel McAdams) and a working-class boy (Ryan Gosling) and follows their lives over the next 7 years.

A good old fashioned 3-hankie weepie (I'm too fukkin NAILS to cry btw) and it's hard to imagine the skinny, fresh-faced Gosling here stamping someone's heid into a pulp in "Driver". 7/10

Love And Other Drugs

Enjoyable rom/com, set in 1996 around the advent of Viagra, about an underachiever (Jake Gyllenhal) who gets a job as a rep with drug giants Pfizer and starts a tempestuous relationship with a young Parkinsons sufferer (a rather hot-looking Anne Hathaway). The film involves Jake trying to get doctors to buy a Prozac competitor, dealing with his fat millionaire brother and either arguing or rattling the lovely Anne. Hilarious in parts. 7/10

Crazy, Stupid, Love

Easily the best of the bunch, this comedy start Steve Carrell as a mild-mannered (and boring) husband and father who falls apart when his wife (Julianne Moore) confesses to an affair with a colleague (Kevin Bacon) and asks for a divorce. A singles bar gigolo (Ryan Gosling) take pity on him and goes about restyling him and teaching him how to pick up women - with some hilarious results. Along the way both men discover things about themselves as do the other characters in the various sub-plots. 8.5/10

Passchendale

This Canadian-made movie, set in WWI, is a kind of Saving Private Ryan Lite. Watchable if a little overlong. 6/10

Irvine Welsh's Ecstasy

Staying with Canada (eh?), it's just as well that the movie's title is prefixed with the authors name, because this poor Trainspotting clone bears almost no resemblance to the story on which it was based ("Undefeated" from the book Ecstasy). The movie is set in Edinburgh, but most of the cast are Canadian. The only faces you might recognise are Billy "Pippin" Boyd and Stephen McHattie (300, History of Violence) and, in a quite bizarre piece of casting, Rush guitarist Alex Lifeson as a Scottish doctor. The two main characters names are the same (Lloyd and Heather) and there's a wee scene at the end, but apart from that, the story is almost completely different to that in the book. 3/10

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Drive

Well that was a lot stranger than I thought it was going to be! Recovered from a very slow start to be an engaging film with a few flaws. The soundtrack is fucking abysmal as is some of the styling. Gosling is pretty badass if a little emotionless. Carey Mulligan is great but it's quite an understated performance. Then to balance that up we get Ron Perlman shouting his way through the background of the film in his usual brilliant way. Suprising appearance by Christina Hendricks too.

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Harry Potter & The Philosopher's Stone.

Harry Potter & The Chamber Of Secrets.

I've purposely avoided all thing Potter until now but finally decided to give them a go now that all the annoying media hype has stopped. Actually really enjoyed these two films, although the acting is a little suspect at times - Hermoine in the first film over-acts horribly, and Draco Malfoy in the second one seems to be in such a rush to get his lines out he trips over half the words and forgets to enunciate anything except for spitting the "P" in "Potter". I like Malfoy as a baddie though, he's a proper little shitebag. If I were at Hogwarts I'd be in Slytherin.

Harry Potter & The Prisoner Of Azkaban

Straight away you can tell its a new director. The film looks stunning, the scenery is incredible, and loads of cool camera work etc and the whole film has a sort of "dream-like" quality. So far removed from the first two, which were essentially kids films. It's like they suddenly got a budget.

****

Harry Potter & The Goblet Of Fire

For me the best of the series so far (I'm watching them all in order if you haven't guessed). The Tri-Wizard tournament is a nice setting for the story, it a change from the usual "another term at Hogwarts", with some cool action, especially in the maze at the end, and it all starts to get a bit dark, with "You Know Who" coming back. The bit when he turns into a fish is fucking stupid though.

****

Harry Potter & The ....something of something.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING. Worst of the 5 I've seen so far. Hermione still too young to perv on.

**

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Drive

Well that was a lot stranger than I thought it was going to be! Recovered from a very slow start to be an engaging film with a few flaws. The soundtrack is fucking abysmal as is some of the styling. Gosling is pretty badass if a little emotionless. Carey Mulligan is great but it's quite an understated performance. Then to balance that up we get Ron Perlman shouting his way through the background of the film in his usual brilliant way. Suprising appearance by Christina Hendricks too.

I thought that the styling and the soundtrack really added a lot to the feel of the film. Christina Hendricks was a bit underused though.

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...