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Last film you watched?


Lemonade

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Death Race - The remake with J Stat in it. Standard Statham formula, tough but good guy gets set up, acts tough, kills people bags a hotty at the end. The unique factor in this film is the racing of armored cars. Highlights included a Latino being decapitated by minigun barrel, Statham avoiding rape by stereotypical prison Nazi's and an Asian lad being shot from point blank range in the face by an artillery gun mounted on the back of a lorry.

A landmark picture not quite Crank: High Voltage or Mean Machine but it's up there with Statham's finest. 3 stars ***.

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Watched 'Dark Star' the other night. Peerless. Anyone else seen this? Made in 1974 but still absolutely hilarious.

Piss poor production values and 'special effects' that look like they're primary school produced compared to today's CGI, but still a great movie.

It MUST be due for a remake, some time. Someone get John Carpenter on the phone!

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Moby Dick

Ishmael goes whaling on a ship, the captain is Ahab who is obsessed with hunting down and killing the white whale Moby Dick who bit off his leg, to the expense of all else. The old Gregory Peck as Ahab one. Great film and even though it's pretty old the whale effects aren't completely shit and actually look better than some CGI I have seen.

8/10

When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth

This came on when I was hungover and I dozed off through much of it. It's an old Hammer film that has cavemen and women existing alongside dinos. There is no dialogue in English, everyone just talks in an obviously made up caveman dialect where 'Akita' seems to mean everything from 'Look there', 'Go away', 'Go and get her' to 'Fuck there's a big fucking dinosaur'. Largely shite, made slightly tolerable by the unfeasibly attractive cavewomen in scanty fur bikinis.

2/10

I watched When DRtE the other day too. Now THAT was a bad case of 'crabs' eh? :down:

Out of sheer boredom, I Googled the name of the lead actress who was VERY tasty in a retro 1970s sort of way. Turns out that at age (73?) she was jailed a couple of years back for shooting her hubby. You've gotta laugh eh?

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The Incredible Hulk

The new one, with Edward Norton (I actually just typed Graham Norton then by mistake). It was alright. I don't think it had enough of the actual Hulk in it though. The bits without Bruce just smashing shit up were a bit tedious. When he Hulked out, it was pretty great as far as mindless CGI violence goes. The bit where he broke a police car in half and used each half as a boxing glove for each fist was amazing. I nearly fell off my bed with laughter. Great scenes of destruction. Not the most enthralling of stories though. Two and a half thumbs up out of 5.

The Ring 2

The American remake. I've not seen the Japense original, nor the first one. Not sure why the movie channel in Tunisia chose to show this film at the end of the week after not showing the first one recently. Oh well. It wasn't too difficult to get a grasp of what was going on. I don't think I've ever seen a horror film where nothing remotely scary happened. Not even a bit that made me jump or anything. 2 hours of waiting for something to happen, that never did. 9 sad faces out of 10.

We Bought A Zoo

They showed this on the plane home. They said we had to buy headsets with two jacks to watch the film. I plugged my headphones into one of the jacks and got sound in one ear. Eat my goal, Thomas Cook! I did take my headphones off to eat food half way through so I missed about 20 minutes of what was going on. Does what it says on the tin though. They really do buy a zoo. Maaaaaaatt Daaaaaaaaaamon is in it, and he's okay. Animals are bad ass. Scarlett whatsherface was in it too, and the CEASE THE DAY guy from Community. He wasn't climbing any trees though. 70% enjoyable goodness.

White Air

Film about snowboarding, so obviously is was totally RAD and even a little bit SICK. Despite the Snowboarding theme, most of the film is spent watching the GNARLY protaganist ride around in his car really fast listening to angry rock music. AWESOME! he starts to lose his boaring form and gets dropped from the team. AWWWW SHIT! So it's a montage of improving, and emotional predicaments and RIGHTEOUS rock music as a soundtrakc to the whole thing. WORRRRD. This film doesn't even have a wikipedia page so I'm not sure it really exists. I might have dreamt it. I was twatted on African beer when I watched it. OR WAS I? 4 out of 10 on the BODACIOUS scale.

Crank 2

Again, another sequel where the first was nowhere to be seen. The godawful Jason Statham basically has to keep his heart rate going mental, or something bad happens. I'm not sure. I was pretty hammered on African beer again. It seemed like a human version of Speed, but instead of a bus, you had Jason Statham. He runs around and fights alot. There's explosions, and car chases. It was awfully manly. I think I grew another ball just watching it. 5 testicles out of 10.

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Death Race - The remake with J Stat in it. Standard Statham formula, tough but good guy gets set up, acts tough, kills people bags a hotty at the end. The unique factor in this film is the racing of armored cars. Highlights included a Latino being decapitated by minigun barrel, Statham avoiding rape by stereotypical prison Nazi's and an Asian lad being shot from point blank range in the face by an artillery gun mounted on the back of a lorry.

A landmark picture not quite Crank: High Voltage or Mean Machine but it's up there with Statham's finest. 3 stars ***.

Fuck yeah! I love this film. I won't have any Statham-bashing in this thread. Crank was fucking awesome too. Soda Jerk has obviously been at the wine too much and grown a pair of tits and a fanny.

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I'm with soda. Milner, what's good and bad to you has just crumbled in to a mess. You say you dislike wanted, but enjoy the mindless jaunts of Stratham? At least wanted had angelina jolie and some ace bullet going round a corner cgi. Stratham just has an english accent and some abs.

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I'm with soda. Milner, what's good and bad to you has just crumbled in to a mess. You say you dislike wanted, but enjoy the mindless jaunts of Stratham? At least wanted had angelina jolie and some ace bullet going round a corner cgi. Stratham just has an english accent and some abs.

LUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I'm with soda. Milner, what's good and bad to you has just crumbled in to a mess. You say you dislike wanted, but enjoy the mindless jaunts of Stratham? At least wanted had angelina jolie and some ace bullet going round a corner cgi. Stratham just has an english accent and some abs.

You sir, are a fool.

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Hilarious. I think Soda used to live next to me in Rosemount... If so...:nono:

I've never lived on Rosemount. Just Tillydrone, and now King Street.

I've definitely never kicked a neighbour, but if my post ends up in the bin again, I'm probably going to firebomb my tenement block. No survivors. Not even me. A death of principles for the greater good.

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